Re: Senecio adn Tide II

Posted by VisAnastasis on
URL: http://cherrizon-2.93.s1.nabble.com/Senecio-adn-Tide-II-tp19275p23800.html

" Well, I sure as hell thought we were both aiming for at least a solid friendship. It would be rather awkward if I was the only one that thought it would be unpleasant whether we spent human lifetime or eternity as strangers or tentative allies, " Conrad could not help but snort a little bit through his nose, but more out of anxiety than humour. His gaze was focused and intense. " If there were two separate relationships, we could have more leeway for it to come more naturally, but due to both mine and Svarik willfulness, we dragged you and Melody into this arrangement, skipping any steps in progress. But Melody had an advantage of time and circumstances, since two of us spend most of our time with Svarik in last months, so our friendship foundation is solid. But since you came into the capital late, you barely even had time to spend with Svarik. I am not saying part of it was not a little your fault, since you tried to get back as soon as you realized you were pregnant and only reunited with him properly today, but still, it is not like I tried to rectify the situation. Your starting point is different from Melody's, so is it not natural, that I would feel regretful for putting you into a bad spot? On the one hand, it would be the proper thing to do to step back a little and give you and Svarik more space... but I can not really do that. It would have been too depressing, if I slaved away every waking moment of my life, for the king I could barely even see... it is just not sustainable, " man shook his head tiredly, looking down at the papers. " Would I not be just trash of a person though, if I was not concerned for you or wished to balance the scales somehow? If I do not at least offer you sincere apology and assistance of your own choosing, what kind of friendship could I possibly hope for us to have in the future? While my position sucks, outside of not being able to spend his work day with him, I plan to teach him a lot, so we will have lot of time to bond with learning, and Melody plans to work with Simbel as high religious figure, so she will naturally have plenty of time to spend with Svarik, much more than me, probably, as she and Simbel aren't restricted from taking part in the Council like I am. It would be ideal if you hoped to fill in a position that I could easily guide you to with knowledge, but you said it yourself - I do not know you. I do not know what you would like to be, as a Queen, and as a person, so I am trying very hard not to offer anything too concrete, not to pressure you into paths you may hate. If you are not to hate me, not even speaking of friendship, wouldn't it be the most fundamental requirement? " he asked quietly. " That I show that I am the kind of person that will not push you into a box that is convenient to me, but a person that supports your aspirations and dreams, whatever they may be? Is the very bare minimum I can offer in hopes of friendship, not a proof that a person you are stuck with has plans always to show his cards without restraint, and won't stab you in the back? "

---

White's gaze was full of sorrow, clearly reflecting a lot of complicated torn emotions and a mix of both hope and guilt.
" I feel so sorry, before you, and Ben... The whole situation is so terribly messy, " he admitted quietly. " On one hand I want to live with him, on other, I know it is a lot to ask from him, to live so close to them. On one hand, he hates most of them, on the other hand, despite his conflicts, he has a leftover fondness for Erdel with whom he spent his childhood in Orphanage and is content you have Erdel to protect you. On one hand, General hurt and tried to kill you... On the other hand, he took no pleasure in it and was only acting out of fear for his life, and he took a big part in saving you from Derhain fortress. Two-headed Raven manipulated him down that path on top of it all, so how could I possibly be forgiving to Two-headed Raven, while blaming him? Even if he did it without pure reasons at a time, how could I hate a person, that helped get you out of that terrible place even a moment sooner? " Simbel hung his head low, all his words overflowing with warmth and love he felt for Svarik, but it was shaped into an apology, as he shared his feelings. " When you first spoke to me of them... I was so starved and faint. I could barely wrap my mind around it all. But as I got fed, and as my mind got clearer, the sadnesses of the situation grew so much clearer, too. General is rough around the edges, yes... but anybody could see the spark in him, who was never put under anyone's wing, never cared for, never taught.... How much he sparkles, being taught something he loves, and being under someone's protection for the first time. How can I pretend to not see it? He may not have made the best choices, but situation was so very sad, I am not confident I could make any good choices in his stead. Tarmagil only supported them vaguely and doubted them endlessly, and they had to struggle all the time to maintain his support, and to manage priest's growing bloodthirst and madness. You have no idea, what kind of horrible blood rituals the high priest was doing, in hopes of pleasing the bull, but only strengthening the Crypt... It may not seem like a big achievement to us from this angle, but they tried their best to manage him so he would not get even worse, and it was thanks to their efforts, that sacrifices in life lessened considerably, and that instead of poor captured prisoners of war, they at least managed to convince him Bull craved blood of the worst criminals to be appeased. It is not ideal, but still, thanks to their effort, Zephir, who was tortured for years with no faults, was finally set free... so how could he possibly not like them and feel safe with them, and how could I not love them, for freedom they granted him when no one else could? " he did not dare to look up, but shyly, hesitantly, he dared to reach for Svarik, and pulled his sleeve with a childish fearfulness, as he asked vulnerably. " Will you... not grow colder and distant to me... if I ask to keep them, even if their situation is complicated, and even if they are not as useful as strong Beings would be? I hate the thought, of causing you and Ben to feel like I am not prioritising your well-being, as if you are not light of my life... but even if here is dangerous, Liron's realm is even more dangerous and limited for them, and all of them love this country, Svarik, and only did bad things in hopes to save it from a corrupt, senseless state that still lasts... so how could I possibly ever wish, to send them away? " he bid him, and indeed, despite his conflict, or because of it, meadow king could feel his protection attribute, shining vividly, in his every warm word and worry - he was clearly conflicted all the more, because he yearned to protect all of them, Svarik and Ben, Zephir and the vampires, General and two-headed Raven likewise, despite all those people were tied in messy web of harm and help, and despite he knew he could not keep them all without causing any harm to anyone.

---

Hans's expression brightened up, as despite his worries about Alpha, he clearly looked pleased and at ease with how closer they got recently. He laughed brightly, and carried by the good memories of the day, he trustfully sprung up toward Tide, who chuckled and caught him mid air, before, just like earlier that day, casually putting him up on his free shoulder. Like that, he carried both of them to Senecio's room.

There, they all got to decorating. While Tide was more excited to make suggestions based on how lovely things looked together, Hans had more practical advice based on useful organising, so while with opposite tastes and temperaments, they were overflowing with advice, and clearly poured their heart into figuring out what the actor preferred and helping him make the room feel more like home at last. Tide was stronger, so he did most of the heavy lifting of bigger furniture pieces, while Hans helped more with placing and riding up little decor pieces.