Death and Tide

[VisAnastasis]

" No, we are not that close in miles, we flew straight to sea first. Ocean is our salvation. But it is also my way of transport. You'd be surprised how gentle the sea is, and how good companion." He whispered wistfully, with a tender expression of hope as he whispered." It's so fun, to dance and glide among the waves - or to travel by the bottom of the sea. The ocean is so full of life and wonders... I thought you would have preferred to travel differently once we reach it. Walking on water is whole another thing, watching the fishes swim beneath your feet, controlling and shaping storms as you pass along and making sure that humans are safe through them, or even just simple things like racing with the ships to get to the harbours first... " He blushed a little."  It's all the greatest... "

[Mirach]

"That sounds fun," Death murmured. "Let's save it for when me and Xia can appreciate it more, okay?"

[VisAnastasis]

" There's something I've been meaning to note on the way you respond, and I think now's a perfect time. I know you're used to having to justify your every call... But your decisions don't need to have logic. They just need to be what do you want. At least with me, will you try? You don't have to twist things into logical forms - like, let us rest because it's an objective good decision, or let's wait with fun for a better time. I would really appreciate... " he stated tactfully. " Next time, don't put any coating of reason to it. Use *I*, instead of *us*. Just tell me things like - I don't feel like it today. It's enough that you don't feel like doing something today, for us not to do it, whatever it is. Rather than spending energy on coming up with reasons to give me, isn't it just easier for you to tell me what you do *want*? "

[Mirach]

"It's actually harder for me," Death admitted. "Figuring out what I want is more difficult than thinking about logical reasons..."

[VisAnastasis]

" I can see... You are slipping into it authomaticaly, without plan. It .. must have been so hard, wasn't it?" He asked quietly then
" To have to justify every single decision before the world... You needed everyone to believe you objectively know what is best all the time in order to preserve your reputation and your life... But you don't have to do it anymore, okay? " He whispered, quietly but firmly, and smiled softly." You are going to be free. You can focus on fulfilling your desires, your dreams, leading your life as you want to. So why not start practicing right away? Freedom is so rewarding, you shall see when you get a better taste. So, what do you want? What would ease you? What would please you? What does your heart require to sing? "

[Mirach]

"I don't know... I would just like to rest in one place for a while. And... maybe you could tell me more about your home by the sea?"

[VisAnastasis]

" That can be so easily arranged. I'd be happy to tell you more," the demon said gently. He appeared a little embarrassed, though, as he added. " There's just one thing... I just wonder since you wish to rest, do you wish to be in the human or snake form? *I* want you to be in the form you want more, but I do have a little favour to ask before it, then. " he bid timidly. " With all that miasma cleansing... I stretched my essence thin quite a bit and strained my injured hand. I'd be embarrassed if I returned home in pretty much same state I left it in. If you could become a human for a moment to help me rebandage it with medicine Emil gave us, I'd welcome it. I promised everyone it'd be no big deal, and that I'd heal in a moment... " he sighed. " It's... frustrating when you turn out to be a liar when you had no intention to lie. I really did think I'd heal by now. It's just that there was always something to be terrified about, and tonight I thought that there may be a trap and that I may fail to protect you, and I just could not relax now either... "

[Mirach]

"Of course, I'd be happy to do that," Death said. "Just shift Xia away from me, so I don't press her with the bigger form."

[VisAnastasis]

Tide nodded shyly, and he carefully did so, so little animal would be safe and undisturbed when the change happened.

[Mirach]

When he was sure there is enough space, Death turned to his human form and stretched his limbs. He then used the healing supplies from Emil, and treated Tide's hand with gentle care in the best way he could.

[VisAnastasis]

Tide's hand indeed seemed to be quite bad from strain of what they did - the wound has healed a little bit in meantime, and flesh wasn't charred anymore, only looking burnt - but the burn has spread further toward his wrist and along the front side of his hand instead of palm as result of streching himself so thin with such giant form. He seemed a little embarrassed about that, knowing that once again, it was result of his recklessness. When his hand was taken care of and bandages properly, he breathed out with some relief, and he smiled at Death shyly.
" You always take such care with it... " he whispered, and then he dared to add, very slowly, as if trying out the new words." I couldn't have wished for a better Semai... "

[Mirach]

Death's face brightened with that. "Thank you. I have an idea... Probably we should wait with it until we are safe at the sea, but... would you like to be Semai again? I might be able to heal your hand that way, maybe not fully in the Ninth layer, but better than it is now..."

[VisAnastasis]

" The hunters are not at our tail right now, and it doesn't seem to be a trap. So, the priority right now is not protection, but what we want... " Tide whispered, and he took initiative for the first time - and he took Death's hand in his first, and whispered meaningfully. " So, do you *want* it, Death? "

[Mirach]

"I do, but I don't find it wise to abandon all caution for it," Death said. "So I guess I would be more comfortable with doing it by the sea..."

[VisAnastasis]

" I have a condition, too. I do want it too," he whispered. " But you'll have to promise me you won't be greedy, and won't risk hurting yourself by taking a bigger bite than you can, deal? " he smiled a little bit. He raised his free hand, and put in on Death's shoulder lightly, and added timidly, but with warmth. " You are like me... Greedy when it comes to helping others. I know it so well... It is blinding. Don't be greedy with me, alright? I did not choose you as Semai out of gain... If it comes it comes, but either way, I want to have a future with you, and that future is the only thing I don't want to lose, okay? Not for the world, but for us. "

[Mirach]

"We will be Semai," Death said. "I can't do anything against your will then."

[VisAnastasis]

" I know. But some things matter and need saying. In being Semai and everything else. " Tide replied. " Do not forget what I have told you before... I want a future with you. Anything that could take that future away  will bring me far more pain than a hurt I caused myself of my own free will, okay? "

[Mirach]

"I know," Death said gently, and smiled a little, because he knew that what Tide is saying is true.

[VisAnastasis]

Likewise, Tide knew now it was a little, but sincere smile and that was enough to reassure him and make him smile in turn. His whole face lit up with that.
" Alright then... Could I, perhaps... then... plead you to be my accomplice in that? You see, I have this wonderful, delightful Semai... " he whispered a little hoarsely. " He always does his best and helps whenever he can, but he really let himself go last few centuries... Could you advise me how could I pamper him and spoil him rotten? " he said innocently, and added, with his voice broken up a little with all the weight of his words. " My hand does not hurt when I hold him, and I am happy, not because it's his nature, but because if he could choose it, he would mean it not to hurt. I mean it too, but I can't return that favour. But if I do nothing, my heart will burn away... "

[Mirach]

"But you are doing just the same," Death said with a slight surprise, wondering if Tide doesn't know it. "The crruption feels suppressed when you are close..."

[VisAnastasis]

" But it's not like,  a real actual power, like yours. I am just so stable my closeness is making you more stable, and more stable you are, less you hurt. It's not... Magical and amazing like - Hey, I am a force of healing, my mere touch sooths and heals wounds. That's amazing!" Tide whispered, appearing a little embarrassed." Your power is not inconvenient like mine... You barely need someone to touch you for them to be soothed. I need people to be as close as possible to me. My powers are strongest when I am happy and calm when I get fullly in tune with myself..." He sighed, and despite he had a mask covering his face, he still looked down, as if feeling he is not enough. " And you are unused to any closeness, and I am not calm,  but stressed out, worried for our lives. I am so not in tune, otherwise, you would have felt more better. I wished... I could be cool, like you... " He signed. " I wished I  could do more.. your healing is like being given a blessing of life by being even merely touched by you. Mine is more like... Being infected with life from prolonged exposure to me, heh... "

[Mirach]

"Now say that again, just switch our names in it," Death smiled with just one corner of his mouth. "How does it sound ti you, if I would say it? I very well could... It doesn't seem to me there is much difference between touch and closeness, and one way of relief is not better than another..."

[VisAnastasis]

" I... Have never had anyone to compare myself to. Not really. I just did what I figured out I could. I always thought I was the solid authority on the matter... But when I see you work, it is so... Next level." Tide admitted quietly." You are like this brilliant candle of health that shines upon people... Meanwhile, here I am, Tide, intruder of personal space." He smiled faintly, but there was some newfound insecurity behind that smile." It all seems fine from this point... But I was not cool like you. I couldn't have helped you anyhow by holding your hand. Only certain solution I could think of in that moment to save your life was becoming a Semai... And it doesn't seem very healery, does it? If I were more capable I should have had at least dozen of options... And... Anything I could think of would involve emotional intimacy, one way or the other. That doesn't sound that amazing... That just sound... Like someone who is used to doing things only one way, and can't think of anything else. If you refused me, I'd not be able to do anything to prevent your death... And... Becoming Semai... It was something I hoped... I could offer you in situation when there would be plenty of time for you to consider it. Not like that..."  

[Mirach]

"Why do you so much to have a power similar to mine when you have your own?" Death asked a bit sadly. "Riversong wanted it too. He wanted the power to help me, when I just wanted him to be there..."

[VisAnastasis]

Tide grew silent with that for a moment, as if the weight of the words was poignant to him. He seemed to be thinking about them, and when he spoke up, he spoke of a difference feeling, slowly, like seeking proper words himself.

" I did not speak... Out of greed. I wished I could have offered you more, yes, and that's eating me right now... But you are right... Who doesn't want to be able to do more than he can? Even Riversong did, and he could create life out of nothing. "He gulped, before adding quietly." I just... I guess I am still under impression of our treatment of Cernunnos. You don't know how amazing it seemed to me.. do you not know how mindlowing it is? It is as if my whole life I was forced to do operations as a butcher, and for the first time I was able to do it as a healer. Without pain. Without a Trace of pain or signs of rejection. Do you not know how insane that difference is? How wonderful and pleasant the recovery it shall make for him, instead of slow, timid and gradual? I was wrong though. I sow it, and I thought like Riversong - I wish I could do something amazing like that too... " He whispered, slowly, as if he was still dealing with the fact, as he spoke, quietly but with rising conviction." I wouldn't... Really want to be a copy of you. Even if a world had a copy of you, that copy would not be able to heal you. But I don't feel like what I do on my own is good enough anymore, now that I have done it side by side with you and seen how greater the results are. But... that's the point, isn't it? I don't need to want something yours. When I see you, I don't... Wish I was you. I just think, this person is amazing! But when I think about it again... If I could have chosen between the two, I would rather have wished I could have had someone amazing like him in my life before... I just think of all heavy and hard procedures and think... I never even knew I would have wanted to have someone to rely on, someone just like you, before I had met you. I feel my life was poorer for not knowing you."