Death and Tide

[Mirach]

"And I would be able to take away any pain from him, but I wouldn't be able to give him a new leg..." Death said. "I am glad I met you...:

[VisAnastasis]

Tide's lip trembled a little bit at that.
" Could you tell me, please... Do you... Think my methods are barbaric? " He whispered, as it seemed to have been an uncertainty that was festering for a while and he couldn't keep down any longer.   " I don't ask of desire this time. I just want to know what you really think of me. I remember when we met, and you asked me if I am still adding to my sum of souls, like it would have been the gravest thing. I said no. I never take what is not given, but... You sow today that I do take. Does it... Repulse you?" He gulped." That and everything. Cutting of soul pieces, keeping souls in jars, eating corrupted creatures to keep their souls in my belly... using soul to weave it into thread... I mean... Your healing is so light and straightforward, delightful and simple, with no stains. Do... Do my methods really not repulse you?"

[Mirach]

"You always give more then you take," Death said. "I saw your primordial form, I saw how huge it was and how much you have given away. I could never find that repulsive."

[VisAnastasis]

Tide's concerned expression brightened up with it at last. He seemed to have been carrying that doubt as a burden for a while now, and it felt good to address it.
" I... Was so very worried. But I was worried for nothing. And... I hope you know now that you were worried for nothing too. " He whispered. " I have seen what happened when you did something you have always desired and given in only once... Only to have it end up in your very friends setting off to kill you. Always seeing either one side or the other killing you in your future lines, and having to stray your hand from doing good... It must have been the real torture. " he whispered. " It's in seeing it with my very eyes, and understanding it with our mind as Semai... Yes, the war has brought me a lot of pain, but I can never blame you. The ending of the world would have brought pain to everyone. You only did what you had to, for the world, never for yourself. " he slowly reacted toward Death's hand, but he did not take it, as if hoping Spirit will meet him halfway. " I could never find that repulsive. This whole thing may or may not be a trap... But I won't let them, have you. I won't. "

[Mirach]

Death didn't move for a moment, just watched him quietly... and then tears welled in his eyes, like someone who had to hide his true nature for ages, tortured by acting against it and unable to confide in anyone, and finally found someone who understands. He slowly reached for Tide's hand and took it, his hand shaking a little. 

[VisAnastasis]

Death's trembling hand in his seemed to soothe Tide more than anything, and not for the lack of pain this time, but acceptance. He remained still for a moment, holding the little palm in his big one gently. Then, slowly, with the other hand, he removed his mask and put it aside on the cloak beside Xia. His eyes were teary too, and he looked emotional.
" I am sorry I took so long... but I finally see you. Don't worry about having hardship with it. It's no wonder. I'll teach you how to want again, and not be afraid of wanting good, ever again... " he whispered, like in a soothing promise, and he lowered his head and sealed the promise with a gentle kiss, laying his lips lightly on Death's hand that he held, softly, as if one would touch a little injured bird, not to frighten it.

[Mirach]

Death sighed shakily, and slowly composed himself. "It's enough that you see..." he whispered.

[VisAnastasis]

" It won't be enough for me, to just see and then watch helplessly... " the demon whispered, holding his hand lightly still.  " Don't forget, I am Tide, invader of personal space. And I have yet a bet with you, remember? " he smiled a little bit, as he added quietly. " You made a bet with Senecio about whether he can play you so well he convinces you... And I made a bet with you that I'll make you feel great about yourself again. It won't be enough until I win it, and then win it again, and again, and again... " his teary-eyed sparkled, as would to a passionate mountain climber, upon the sight of the most beautiful, highest mountain in the world. " What if it's never enough of winning it for me? What would you say? "

[Mirach]

"I'm... not sure..." Death murmured. "I can't imagine that very well. This is enough for me..."

[VisAnastasis]

" You are too humble. You are setting your expectations low so you won't be disappointed. " Tide whispered, and added innocently, and encouragingly. " How about... we start from low, then? If I am starting on lowest, I'd say, it's enough for me that we both are alive... We can work from there. To stay alive, you need to eat. So, what do you say for a nice meal right about now? " he offered a truce gently. " Let's eat, and we'll rest tonight like you have bid, as long as you like, and I'll speak to you all about my wonderful sea... How does that sound? "

[Mirach]

"Yes... alright... That sounds good..." Death agreed.

[VisAnastasis]

" Great! " Tide replied, and it seemed he tried out a new tactic to help Death figure out what he wants, not just giving him a blank canvas that seemed to be overwhelmingly full of choices, but by offering him small, little options instead that could help him figure out his preferences easiest. " Okay, then, let's get to it! First, would you like to go back to a snake form, and cuddle up with Xia as you eat? Or would you like to remain like this? My cloak is big, and you are tiny. It can easily be wrapped around a snake or human you. And... It is your choice, and I won't press you, but since we are speaking honestly, I have to state my preferences, too. It would be... Very nice if you'd consider the hug. " he blushed a little bit, adding. " I just want you to know it's always an option I'm happy giving, in any time. Back there in the capital city, when... When you accepted to lean more upon me, and I was allowed to relax and lean back upon you, I was so very happy. it was a delight, to see you eat without pain. You said you'd never accept it anymore, but since you accepted to become my Semai despite that, I... " he looked at him a little nervously. " I just wondered if it's still the unconceivable option to you. Because I want you to know it always remained open from my side... "

[Mirach]

"Actually, that's why I wanted to stay under your tunic as a snake..." Death murmured with some embarassment.

[VisAnastasis]

" Really? I just... thought it was easier to sleep when you're not on open-air. But... I did not protest, because I enjoyed when you were close... " Tide's face grew red, and he admitted embarrassedly too. " I just... Was also stressed out about it. I didn't want to assume something nice and be disappointed if you told me it's just a practical choice. And I was afraid you'll call me out for not respecting your choice... I did not want things to repeat like at a start with the carrying when I offended you by insisting on it when you refused initially. I did not want you to think no means nothing to me again... " he looked down. " So, whenever I'd subconsciously lean a bit more or reveal my presence a little more, I'd try to suppress it, so it'd have as little influence around me as possible... It's not a pleasant feeling to me, but I... I was worried enough for everything else, I didn't want to offend and frighten you on top of it all... "

[Mirach]

"It's alright..." Death just whispered, maybe too tired to explain more deeply, or not knowing hiw to explain it himself.

[VisAnastasis]

" Is... it a yes, then? " Tide whispered a little hoarsely. Very slowly, he opened his arms a little, feeling he'd look very ridiculous if Death refuses now, but knowing someone of them needs to lead, or they will keep stumbling into misunderstandings.

[Mirach]

"Yes... it's a yes..." Death smiled faintly.

[VisAnastasis]

From unsure, Tide's expression brightened up, and his eyes, blue like the sea, shone brightly upon him.

" Your permission d-delights me more than the sweetest c-cake would ... " he stuttered spontaneously, as if, upon this meaningful moment, his mind, racing with words and adoring of food, felt it was only true enough comparison.
His hand trembled lightly, as, careful still not to shift Xia that was at aside, he shifted his cloak and covered Death with it around critter's shoulders, so its soft texture would comfort him from all sides - before, as easy as adults pick up children, he lightly raised the little Spirit from below its arms closer to him, and then embraced him fondly. His breath was a little bathed, and his aura indeed seemed quite suppressed, consciously so, but as he slowly began relaxing, it slowly began sipping around, timidly feeling its way, shyly trying to feel if it is really wanted.

[Mirach]

Death leaned into it and into the relief it brought. "I was afraid to trust before..." he whispered.

[VisAnastasis]

Tide sighed with relief too as he felt the Spirit's essence leaning against him willingly, easing his pain in turn too - and Death could feel Tide finally let go of the fear and repression and let go of the inhibitions, which was a really sudden but pleasant sensation of acceptance. Indeed with freedom, demon's essence was brimming, the surge of validation making it electric with timid little spurs of joy, soothing to lean against. The creature held him close and listened to his words as closely.
" Then... What changed?" He couldn't help but ask shyly.

[Mirach]

"Semai don't leave each other..."  Death said quietly.

[VisAnastasis]

Tide got a little worried suddenly that Death may be romanticizing Semai bond a little too much - quite like when people that never dated romanticize marriage. He cleared his throat - he felt it's improper to saying anything to such trustful statement, but he felt it would be wrong to say nothing.

" But... You have seen it with your very eyes. Riversong and Jake left each other. They were so highly compatible - but they were not in the right state of mind. They did not want each other properly when they made their choice. Semai can part their ways, just like people can divorce, or friendships can grow cold... " he whispered slowly. " I... I did not protect and take care of you because you are my Semai. Rather, I choose you as Semai because I began to care for you and wish to protect you... There's a big difference. I didn't have to become your Semai, to not want to leave you... I don't want to leave you because I like you.  "

[Mirach]

"But when we are Semai, I know it," Death said.

[VisAnastasis]

" Oh... Then... It's alright. " Tide blushed a little, and shyly, he lightly caressed Death's silky hair, and Spirit could hear him lightly purring as he handled his hair. " I just wanted to make sure we think on the same things. When we are Semai, thinking feels different from this. When we were bound together, I felt that if I spoke... I could actually put all those feelings into words. Properly. " he admitted quietly, the little moment of closeness seeming to make him feel a little more open to speaking of this, as instead of feeling bad about it, he felt kind of comfort. " I don't know how to explain... But when you believe me and trust in me, so sweetly like this... My heart sings with twinkles of thousand bells.  It feels like I've been embraced by the meadow of flowers, fed by the warmest cookies full, and like my veins brim with the same joy that I feel after dancing with and for people I love, sewing them cute clothes, or buying them presents. I feel full, even though I know no huger or sating of it. I know it sounds confusing when I say it, but when we are Semai, I know you know it... " he closed his eyes. " And it feels alright then, that I can't explain it right. Because you already know... "

[Mirach]

"I don't think I would really believed any words, however well said. Feeling it is something different..."