Death and Tide

[VisAnastasis]

Tide knew how secrecy is important to Death, after the hell, he had been through keeping his secret safe. He knew he needed it to trust him. He lightly put his hand over Death's palm, as if in a promise.
" For the next 50 years, or however long it takes until I can bring you the justice you actually deserve... " he whispered. " That can be our little secret... "

[Mirach]

"Thank you," Death murmured. "It can't look like I am not ready to accept his judgement if it's bad..."

[VisAnastasis]

" It's not that I would refuse harsh judgement because it is harsh... Only because it is not right. " Tide pressed his hand lightly, as if trying to convey something beyond his capacity to explain, but important deeply to him." Some people are terrible. Monstrous. I am not one for cruelty, but they deserve be put some limits on, prevented to hurt other people. But you are not one of people deserving this. Justice for you would not be punishment or confinement... Justice you deserve is happiness, healing and freedom." He whispered firmly."  I am not bending my convictions to save you. I simply believe it is right. Being merciful to you isn't giving you an undeserved reward. It is giving you what is due to you and what you had earned, with all your sacrifices... That is my justice and my truth, and I can bend for many things, but not that."

[Mirach]

Death looked away, having no reply to that. "I think Solstice will like you..." he whispered.

[VisAnastasis]

" That... Would be nice thing to happen. Wouldn't feel half bad to have good rekations with new Spirit king...  But it is not my priority right now. What will be will be. What he will think, he will think... "  Demon whispered quietly. He seemed a little unsure with Death avoiding his look, but he did not insist. He barely gave himself freedom to lightly caress Death's hand with his palm as he added shyly." What's important right now to me is how *you* think and feel...  And why you always change subject whenever I speak or think we'll of you...  "

[Mirach]

"Because I really wish I would be able to feel like that about myself, but I can't," Death whispered.

[VisAnastasis]

" I know. Even as a Semai, my belief could not overpower yours... You need not force yourself yet... Give it time. But still, I have to say, I find it hard to deal with, having mine believes. " Tide whispered, lowering his head a bit, and leaning his forehead lightly against the back of Spirit's head as if finding reassurance in the close contact. " I wished you could see what I see... Yes, heavy circumstances brought us here. What happened between you and Grendel was unfortunate... But what you did, however heavy, was provoked. I have seen *you*. Real you. " demon grew quiet. " You'd never have killed if not provoked by such terrible grief. I know you can't forgive yourself yet... but believe me at least when I say that you have punished yourself thoroughly enough for it. I don't blame you for the war. Do you know who I blame? I blame the bloodthirsty demons that wished come after you and kill you. You made some poor choices, yes, but had there been any way for them to be reasoned with, there would be no war at all, and all of us, the meek and the peaceful, would not suffer so greatly... Neither me nor you. " he leaned against him. " You killed in a spur of moment and anger, and you had full intentions of bringing Grendel back if he only were not so corrupted in his grief... But the demon generals had time to think it through when news would get to them. It was not a spur of a moment decision, but a decision made out of hate and wish for vengeance. It was not justice, but the blood they sought. I am not angry, yet. I am just sad for all of them - they valued a moment of pleasure of killing you more than an eternity of peace for the meek. I am sad, because it would have been hard to forgive, but well worth the prize. Yes, you made mistakes - biggest one, not reborning Demons as themselves, hoping that lowering their numbers would end the war, but... Still, I am deeply sad for you too. " he whispered. " I am sad that they forced the hand of a good man and made him hate himself so deeply. I am sad that they made him be a symbol of war when all he wanted was to help people... "

[Mirach]

"Please." Death said quietly. "Don't bother. I just want to forget about it for a while, that's all..."

[VisAnastasis]

Tide nodded.
" Do you require a hug? " he whispered, adding shyly. " I mean, a tighter hug? I have discovered they tend to help people cope... "

[Mirach]

Death thought for a moment. "I don't know... Could you try so I can know how it feels?"

[VisAnastasis]

" The hug... needs two people, you know? I'd need to borrow your hands. And you. " Tide said gently. He hesitated before he suggested shyly. " And... I won't order you anything. But you should know up front that spoiling you is in my general plans. " he smiled shyly, as he tried to say so gently things few would conceive to say to a personification of Death. " I'm always up for nestles and cuddles... They are good for the soul. And... how do you feel about snuggling? About being sung a lullaby? About getting cradled to sleep? I'd love to help you forget everything for a while. If we are going to stick by for the next fifty years... " he measured the words, before he tried them timidly, but with some pleasure and desire for confirmation. " I must say up front I tend to be very affectionate with my friends... "

[Mirach]

"I'm not sure," Death said. "Let's just try the hug first..." he turned a bit so that he would be able to embrace Tide, but he hesitated yet.

[VisAnastasis]

" It's a bit awkward to initiate anything when you're unused to it, isn't it? " Tide, who was maskless before him, smiled, and his two bright marble eyes sparkled compassionately. " It's okay, I needed practice too. My first hugs were given basically at a time when no arms or hugs yet existed, and the only reason you'd get around another creature was to eat it up, so I dare say I came a long way in mine practice. Will you lend me your hands, please? " he whispered gently, but he did not ask it for blood bending and controlling him - like that one time before when he guided Death's hand to soothe the pain he felt, he offered a hand to him, this time inviting to guide him in this.

[Mirach]

Death slowly and a bit wonderingly put his hand in Tide's, letting the demon lead him.

[VisAnastasis]

Tide knew Death feels more comfortable with things when they are clear and have guidelines ad some logic to them, so, instead of just pulling him into an embrace, he began gently explaining it as he worked, to the best of his ability.

" Okay, let's make this the best hug ever! You see, you're a lot smaller than me, and I am a lot bigger, in general. We can try out a couple of different things till you figure out what you like, but most of the time when a smaller person holds onto a bigger one, there are couple comfortable positions. Let's try... You could put your left arm right around here... And your right one, just a little at a side... Yes, just like that... " he made sure to slowly guide Death, who was uncertain of this, through a  bit of trial and error, to the position most comfortable for an embrace first, as it seemed important for him that the Spirit that had trouble figuring out what he wants finds what is most pleasant to him.

[Mirach]

Death wasn't sure about how it feels at first, but slowly ge relaxed into the hug.

[VisAnastasis]

Tide held onto him, but he seemed to be thoughtful as if he was considering something.
" You know... Maybe it's making it all worse for you that you have no outlet for your powerlessness and frustrations," he whispered. " Talking can't ease your pain, and you have trouble taking out your grief in words... but what about practising with actions? " he suggested. " You are a little rusty, but the way you use your hands in healing is very fluent of your feelings. Maybe it'll suit you to express yourself through it instead of words. When they are frustrated, some people punch walls or other people... But you are not like that. I am not either. But tight hugs are a very good outlet for frustration, I think.  " he gulped, adding shyly to his ear. " I... always found hugs are a good outlet for people like me... You just think of everything that frustrates and pains and angers you and let the feelings flow... and you hug someone tightly, and get hugged back as tightly. You grit your teeth and you squeeze with all your strength and hold on firmly, tensing up and putting all your strength into it as long as you can... And once you've spent your strength and frustrations and can't hold onto any longer, you just relax and let go of it. You are tired and sweaty but have some of the negative feelings spent in a physical act. It's pretty useful for people that never like hitting anything but know no other way to take things out... "

[Mirach]

Death considered it for a while. Then he tightened the hug just a little, as if trying it out. He remained so for a moment, but then loosened it again. "No," he murmured. "It doesn't work... I don't feel like doing it."

[VisAnastasis]

" It's alright... You're a pretty unique creature. Who knows what you'll get to enjoy and what'll ease you. We just have to keep looking. There'll be so much to explore, in years to come... We will figure out how to make you feel great, you'll see. " Tide whispered faintly, with a bit of sorrow, remembering the black hole of Spirit's broken mind, pulling everything on the inside, struggling with any expression. He hesitated - but then he tightened the hug just a little as if he couldn't help himself with his affectionate nature, and he added, with a flustered warmth. " I... I'll win that bet, and win that favour you promised me for it, you'll see. And when you ask me what I want, I'll ask for... for, like, a trillion hugs. So we can never run out of them and can keep finding joys in life and getting more out of it until the end of time... "

[Mirach]

Death remained passive since then, but did not withdraw.

[VisAnastasis]

Tide just held him close from them on. He understood everything must have felt too much, and Death needed a little time. He spoke not anymore. He just held him in an embrace protectively, lightly fixing his cloak to cover him better like it was a big blanket, and warming it up. The air around them was soothing and pleasant from that warmth, and somewhere in the distance, there were crickets, and the leaves around them rustled with the breeze from the south and the scent of the sea. The world seemed small and simple at that moment when they fell silent and could let it sip over them. The darkness of night felt not scary, but comforting, and through it, thoughtfully, Tide was humming a lullaby.

[Mirach]

Death was a little strained at first, but he relaxed slowly, when he saw that nothing is required of him and it's alright if he doesn't return the hug. He rested in it, mire comfortable than during the flight.

[VisAnastasis]

That was enough for Tide right now. He tried to figure out if there's something Death would like more - and when he had seen that creature feels worse when overwhelmed with demands, he demanded nothing. He just let it be and held it close. Despite his protests from before, it was clear, while not absolutely in need it, the resting was good for the demon that neglected his health way too much - his soul was strained and in need of all the care, he lacked. While still worried for the sudden retrieval of demon hunters, Death's aura was leaning close against his, and it was a rather comforting feeling that he slowly allowed himself to get used to. In turn, his own aura grew brighter and more playful, soothing Death's pain with its stable, soft presence... As he gave himself the freedom to hold him close and to hum to him and play with his hair, it felt like a breakthrough to Tide, from their previous distrust, and it eased him. After a while, as he was passing through Spirit's silky locks, he began to purr, and it was a light, timid sound, but it was a clear sign of enjoyment, quiet, shy, but bubbly, pleasant amidst their uncertainties.

[Mirach]

Death smiled just a little bit with it, and then got back to resting until the dawn.

[VisAnastasis]

Until then, they did not speak. Xia, after she got a little better, climbed up to their lap, and curled closely. Tide caressed her and adjusted his cloak so they'd both be more wrapped in its softness, and added more logs to the fire. Then, he remained quiet, and thoughtful through the night, letting them rest - and taking much deserved and needed time for himself, too, something he just didn't have for many days, to reflect on their situation and think it through. The dawn neared, but he said nothing, as he had decided, obviously so, to let Death pick when they will leave and how, as he chose not to make the group do anything until the frail Spirit feels ready.