Death and Tide

[VisAnastasis]

Tide was also a little shy, but he appeared sure of his choice and hopeful, as if with anticipation of something nice. Under the mindset, his essence flew more freely, and he shyly began leaning against him, as he embraced him lightly.
" Don't worry or try to force it consciously. It is a delightful treat, as easy to get carried away as with cake...  It'll come naturally... " he whispered to his ear. " If you're nervous, will you breathe with me?  Just slowly... in and out... like we did in the first layer... " he smiled gently at the memory, as he tried to synchronize his breathing with one of the ill creatures in his hold.

[Mirach]

Death did so, calming with that slowly, despite feeling weak and in pain still. He closed his eyes, and tears appeared in them for some reason.

[VisAnastasis]

Becoming Semai for the first time was indeed a dance, of two minds leaning against one another a little bit and withdrawing, then leaning a bit more, tasting the feeling, and slowly growing closer, when both were ready. To see Death, who acted so stoically even when faced with demise, teary and emotional like that, must have left a big impression on Tide. As they grew closer, the need has risen within him, a timid, but strong, to shield and to comfort. He was at a loss for words for comfort, though, so he put his feelings to acts - for he caressed Death's hair and leaned to kiss his head gently, for the first time. It was a simple, loving gesture, with nothing romantic or no physical desire to it, but of simple and plain endearment, with the act, Tide finally giving up inhibitions and shyness he felt himself and closing his eyes and leaning against his companion's essence fully, in a leap of faith.

[Mirach]

Death remained passive for a moment, but then he leaned his mind as well towards Tide very slowly but steadily. He took his time, but did not hesitate or pull back, as if he were certain about what he wants to do, just shy to reveal himself too fast.

[VisAnastasis]

It was that attitude of acceptance with no hesitation that was reassuring to Tide and only straightening his resolve - for being accepted with no hesitation, he accepted with no hesitation, gratefully, not pulling back, but, having more experience with this, with delight observing how his companion leaned against him more and more.
Closer they grew, they thoughts began melding a little bit, and through there was some worry in back of Tide's mind, Death could feel the pull to it, as there was something soothing and mysterious to it, not of one mental voice, but of many tiny little playful excited  whispers, like little bells, all combining to form one mental voice - Tide's own. He was shy about it, but it felt revealing and vulnerable to him, at to some people, it could look like a chair, a mess - but there was an order to the madness, a song to the bell rings, and little voices glistened with curiosity and gentleness, like little stars in the constellations, while in turn exploring the mind that was getting ever closer with each moment.

[Mirach]

On the contrary to that, Death's mind was a singularity, and it was so massive, yet so sharply focused into one point, that it bended space around it. It was like a black hole, but there was no pull that would draw Tide into it, no pull to anyone else but to himself: under the weight of all that happened, his true self retreated so deep that it was beyond the horizon from which it could be seen by others or get out on its own, and only rare flashes from the inside revealed it.

[VisAnastasis]

Those occasional few flashes on the inside, though, were like a perfect bait - there could be no better one even if picked thousand times over than would pique Tide's interest more.
Death could feel unyielding curiosity in the little blobs, in every tiny little bubbly voice that made up demon's mind. Just like one can not control his own thoughts, Tide couldn't control the feelings that came with the mental image he sow, and all the little voices little stars, came together, many, but as one - and close together with their lights combined, they were shimmering with bright soft light, warm and inviting, calling for Death, with a timid but playful, not voice, but feeling. Even with its unified gravity, they could not do anything to pull something out of such massive terrifying back hole - but the light, shimmering and splendid, was clearly welcoming, and it was inviting he warped twisted mind to join it, as one child would call another to play, excited and ready.

[Mirach]

Death could not do that, though, even if he would want to - it was too deep, and the pull too strong to escape from it. Around the horizon though, there could be sensed a hint of his original personality, bright and soothing, but terribly sad for what it caused. That sadness has never been shared with anyone, as even when Death tried to explain his reasons to Tide or Erdel, it was too deep to be put into words. Now, it seemed hesitant to be revealed, but in the same time hoping for it, as it was getting an unbearable burden for one.  

[VisAnastasis]

The sheer dept was terrifying, and it would discourage many - but for Tide, who was so used to exploring himself, seeing such repressed soul unable to express itself was terribly attracting, in his very soul, like smell of honey is to the bee... It just made him want it more and want to get to it. He gritted his teeth, as it was hard to put things to words in such emotional experience.

" You... Do not have to... Be... What you are not... Yet .. " He rasped, hugging him more closely, as if to anchor himself to him for what he was about to do." I take you as you are... All of you... "

He said, knowing he can't pull Death from the outside this time, and that maybe even if he tried to force it, he would only hurt him - instead, if black hole would not pull him in, he pulled himself to it. Maybe he could not get that soothing but tortured light out of the dark, but he could join it. Inch by inch, with great effort but also great resolve, the tiny bubbly voices were coming closer, like a galaxy striving to, not escape the pull, but come close enough to be sucked into the void.

[Mirach]

That was unexpected to Death, and he wasn't sure what to do, so he didn't do anything. There was some resistance instead of a pull, but once Tide overcame it, he was in a place so tightly pressed that it was impossible to move, and the light was as bright as the heart of a star, pure and white, but full of pain.

[VisAnastasis]

There was a great mental pressure there, and it was extremely had to think, so most of his thoughts were growing meddled, compressed under intense squeezing from all sides. He was extremely sensitive to feelings of others, and to have such immense sadness, so intense and deep, triggered his own feelings. His thoughts were before playful, bubbly... but in this environment, they could not exist freely, unrestrained. They tried to reach the star in the centre of the black hole, but they could barely retain form here. The powerlessness of seeing such deep grief but not being able to reach out to comfort it was something new to Tide, and tears welled in his eyes in the real world. Tide was usually so cheery and eager to share joy - but under the helplessness, unable to control them, Tide's excitement over this seemed to be instead mixed up with something unexpected - the sadness of his own, that he never voiced to Death, but that Spirit could now see more clearly.

Death could feel it now that they were so close, barely apart, despite miles apart in same time - a sadness of unable to reach out now, that reminded demon of not being able to reach out in the past. He tried to reach out and to help Grendel overcome his problems... But he was young and did not understand his grief, and he failed. He tried to reach out to Death now, and despite promising him that he will, it was so intense, and he felt as if he were failing all over again, and there were both griefs, and a profound sense of guilt in it.

[Mirach]

The presence in the singularity was gentle and soothing, and as it sensed Tide's distress, it touched him gently and comforted him even through its own grief, because that was its very nature. Being able to do it, and not being alone anymore brought some relief to it, and it shared that relief with Tide.

[VisAnastasis]

Tide sighed with relief that the feeling brought, as he felt foolish and ashamed with expressing his own grief when one of Spirit was so immense - and he felt bad for that, but the soothing presence was telling him it's alright. And perhaps he did not reach the light, but the light reached him, so perhaps he did not reach it on his own, but they still succeeded in reaching each other.
Tide didn't have innate nature of healing, but there was something else that Death felt - when he touched his mind, the relief he gave to Tide brought creature pleasure, and that pleasure shone through its aura strongly and clearly. The touch of Tide's mind was soft and tender, and at being able to touch Death's true self brought it simple genuine joy, joy that Death felt in turn through touching him so closely.

[Mirach]

It was strange for Death to experience joy again, even though it was just a second-hand experience that originated in Tide's mind. It brought some new hope into the tortured soul, collapsing under the weight of its grief.

[VisAnastasis]

Tide's mind was a really impulsive and chaotic place, and despite there was charm and curiosity to it, there was no telling how quickly he may grow sad or happy, like a child - but just so, when happy, his happiness was palpable. Under the pressure of this place, he could not think clearly, and so he was reduced to bare instincts, and it seemed that right at this moment, he has forgotten about dangers outside, about creatures hunting them, about possible demise of the whole world - no, for him, there was only here and now, and that now was pleasant, and his joy at seeing hope in Death was sincere, and it brought a wave of warmth to a cold lonely place.
Leaned against him, Death could feel that Tide was rather negligent of his own hurt hand and that it hurt a lot, especially after today's strain. Death's closeness was soothing that pain, and as fear and uncertainty melted, there was more freedom to it, and the little tiny bits of Tide's mind was leaning and nestling against Death's mind, not with conscious intent to bind with it as Semai this time - it was a very simple, genuine pleasure in being in presence of something that was soothing it, and Death could feel Tide was no longer scared by the immense singularity, or was intimidated by it - for they were in the dark, alone, under heavy weight of guilt and pain, but they were together, and being together with someone and finding comfort in their presence seemed to be an instinct instilled in the very essence of Tide's soul, from his early days of snuggling with a little scared Spirit that was to grew up to become Hans, until now.

[Mirach]

It was the first time that Death was able to share that deepest grief, too heavy to be put into words or even to show on the outside, with someone and be accepted with it. That was enough to lighten his burden just a little, although not enough to overcome to pull and reveal his centre fully. The experience was getting a bit overwhelming to him after some time, but he was not scared of being left alone again, since in the connection with Tide's mind he felt that Tide will return if he asks for it. But what was more important to him, Tide now understood him fully.

[VisAnastasis]

( Ooc: isn't there supposed to be decisive moment when their two minds bind fully and think as one, and form a Semai body of their colective minds? I has an impression that is supposed to happen but did not yet fullly? If so, Tide will strive for that.)

The pressure on them lessened after some time, and Tide could think more clearly, and really grow to understand Death's grief and perspective on a deeper level, as if it was his own. In turn, it relaxed, and it dared to share it's own grief around the war that Death's triggered. Spirit could feel there was no one in particular that Tide blamed - there was none he wanted revenge against. He was just grieved deeply and burdened with the knowledge how futile fighting is when everyone is losing and no one listens... He was not on side of Spirits or Demons. He was on a side of deserters, fugitives, runaways .. everyone hurt by war, that he could take under his wing and protect from it... Like Death himself right now too. There was only a powerless anger, not at others, but at himself, for all the people he tried so hard, but could not save in the end. Death could feel and see in truth that Tide was sincere, and that he never wanted to kill him - and that actually, Tide's deepest desire is for war to end, and that despite danger, one tiny part of him hoped meeting Death may lead to it, instead of them being hunted together..

[Mirach]

(OOC: I though that happened already and this is happening somewhere in their mind, while on the outside, they have one body and are able to act as one)

It was not too different from how Death felt, bit there was still that thought like a border around the black hole that did not let any light escape from inside, the thougt *I caused it*.

[VisAnastasis]

( Ooc: I thought there was supposed to be a decisive moment where we will state it happened. Main thing that confused me was that I imagined that once they become one, they would wish to explore the world around them to experience it with a new way of perceiving the world bound like that, but they both closed their eyes and are so focused on their thoughts that it's as likely that they are just distracted. )

Tide's mind was fervently against that thought, and that feeling. He did not blame him, he blamed ill circumstances, unfortunate misunderstandings, and eagerness to fight on both sides, not only one... But Death could feel Tide had a new fondness for him with what happened tonight, and how Spirit chose to act in circumstances. There was a timid liking to it and a little more trust - and exactly because of that, Tide felt guilty. The apology he tried before but just could not put into words, now Death could feel too - demon felt guilty for doubting his betrayal.
Death offered to work with him to help bring peace when they met, but Tide refused him then because he didn't trust him... And now he felt like he missed the chance to free the world from the war because of his doubts... And he felt responsible for hunters that were after them. If they made peace when they had a chance, both sides would be obliged to protect them to keep it... but now, they could seek no help from either one, one of which wanted Death to die, the other that wanted Tide dead. * I am sorry*, echoed thousands of little sad voices.

[Mirach]

Death didn't think anything in reply, he just enjoyed the feeling of another mind touching his and understanding it fully - and he enjoyed the feeling of being Tide, the harmony of his soul.

[VisAnastasis]

In their joint state, both of their auras flew freely, overflowing around them, breathing more life into the hollow trees and barren land of a second layer. Just as Death enjoyed the harmony and stability of Tide's loving nature, Tide, in turn, enjoyed the innate soothing qualities full of desire to calm and help that Death's true self-reflected, indulging it that fully. After the first shock and need to communicate their differences, their minds blended together more, as there was no more talks or doubt, just enjoying the strange process. They were surprisingly compatible, and under the bond that was growing stronger with time, both benefited - Death could feel himself growing stronger and shifting further from fever and instability, and Tide's pain waned in his close presence, as well as uncertainties that were as hard to deal with... It just felt surprisingly pleasant to both, to have this unexpected experience, both because of both their high compatibility and because they were both ready for it.

[Mirach]

They remained in that state for a while, enjoying the feeling of fullness and compatibility until they felt it is time to part.

[VisAnastasis]

Tide felt the time is right too, and he snuggled with the singularity one last time, with no conscious words formed, only as if in a promise. Then, they proceeded to slowly and gently disentangle from each other, which took them a moment, because of how close and long they stayed together this first time and how well together their mind fit. But after a while, finally, they were two again, just as they were before, one little Spirit and one Demon that held onto him - both feeling shy but better of for what happened.

[Mirach]

Death also felt better physically, as the pain and fever lessened. He pressed Tide's hand thankfully. "Let's get back to the first layer," he whispered.

[VisAnastasis]

Tide pressed his hand back and smiled slowly.
" May I carry you?"