Re: Svarik and the company II

[VisAnastasis]

" So, hmm... a nice place you got here. Very pleasant, full of light and cool books. Not exactly a prison cell. " Vampire said slowly in conversational manner, as he was looking around. " Tide really chose a pretty  neat spot for you, I must say. "

[Mirach]

"I did not ask for it," Senecio said defensively.

[VisAnastasis]

" You do like it, though? " Erdel asked. " I know I would have liked it. It is, after all, pretty neat. "

[Mirach]

"Yes, I like it," Senecio said quietly. "Is it wrong?"

[VisAnastasis]

" It depends on one thing... " Erdel made a meaningful, long pause then, as he looked back from the room to the actor, gazing at him intently. This time, the look in his bright red eyes was knowing and grave, as he asked an important question. " Do you like *him*?"

[Mirach]

Senecio did not pretend that he doesn't know whom Erdel means. "He is fascinating. I think I do..."

[VisAnastasis]

" *Fascinating*... Is wrong way to put such stuff. " vampire frown. " You do not date someone just because he is *fascinating*. I have met so many fascinating and amazing people those days that it would be disaster, if that's how I'd be choosing whom to see, by just checking out if they're awesome or not. There's so many fascinating people in the world, humans and non humans alike. I do not ask if he is fascinating... Do you like him, like really like him? " he repeated his question. " Because if it's just curiosity, not attraction - I would not want that for him... "

[Mirach]

"It's hard to tell after a day, alright?" Senecio frowned, somehow finding it hard to lie to the vampire after the honesty of the letter he wrote. "I don't have much experience in this. He fascinates me in a way that makes me like him, and i hope it could be more with time. But he says he maybe doesn't have long to live. I'm trying to guard my heart to not fall too deeply in love while it's still uncertain if he will live, but it's hard, with the way he treats me and looks at me..."

[VisAnastasis]

Erdel nodded, it seeming to be an answer he appreciated more than the previous one. He looked away, not to make him further  nervous. He did not speak for a moment, and when he did, it seemed that he wanted to return Senecio's honesty with a truth of his own, as if trying to brake some ice between them.

" I have a wife, and a child, this most precious, little bundle of joy... I may never see her again, though. " he said quietly, then, looking out in the distance. " I was.. misguided. I broke the law and did awful things, in my ignorance. My family never forgave me... I was in process of getting divorced, for a while... And two days before we went for this trip, the process was completed, and my wife and daughter left for the countryside. Ser Falcon gave me three years of my pay in advance, so I could give it to her, as a future dowry for my daughter, as law requires... I hoped I may catch at least a little, parting smile in their faces for that... But I did not. There was only coldness. My child would not look up at me, and my wife - my ex wife - she avoided my gaze in shame. I love them still, so deeply... But I know I will never see them again.  " he shook his head. " It is tough to live with that burden... It feels like I am mourning deaths of people that are still living, if you know what I mean? "

[Mirach]

"I think I'm starting to know..." Senecio murmured.

[VisAnastasis]

" You are in much more privileged position than me, though. " Erdel noted, wanting to see Senecio's opinion on this. " Tide clearly likes you. It is so transparent to see, whenever he speaks of you or tried to, ever so non subtly, get anything in your favor. " he sighed a little. " Yes... He is very much, completely non subtle at all in that. The way he is gushing about you, the way his heart skips every now and then... You can not fake such things. My family hates me now, and it's all in all unpleasant situation for me - but Tide seems to be really into you, you know. "

[Mirach]

"So you think I don't deserve it because your family doesn't like you?" Senecio asked cautiosly, not knowing what Erdel want to suggest with that.

[VisAnastasis]

" What..? No. Of course not. " Erdel seemed little taken aback by such assumption. " That's not reason why I think you don't deserve it. I am *trying to figure out* if you deserve it, well, because, from what I have seen, you are a lying deceptive and all in all untrustworthy person. I do think Tide could do better with someone more honest. It is just that he is clearly head over heels with you, so my hands are literally *tied*. " vampire shook his head. " I am just saying... I care for his well being. I wasn't trying to imply you don't deserve it because of my situation or something. I just wished to point out that, for someone in your position, you are being way too out of his league, if you are mourning so early. I did not start mourning until the very last moment till I had to sign the divorce papers. All until then, I did all I could to make up, to make peace, to get them back... I hoped. " he said seriously. " I am just wondering, if a person that wants to give up on hope right away, is really good for Tide or not. He could have had many *okay* relationships... He just didn't want them. He wants full commitment. He is in, all or nothing. He needs someone who will be all in for him, till the last moment. Not someone who guards his heart in fear of being hurt. "

[Mirach]

Senecio got rather defensive withthat. "I'm sorry, but I dare to disagree with the comparison. It's not like mourning someone you loved and love still, when you are just falling in love, and trying to stay distanced until you figure out that the relationship has some future. And second, I said I'm trying to do that, not that I'm managing it very well..."

[VisAnastasis]

Erdel nodded slowly.
" Yes... You don't look like you are managing well. " he said after a moment. " With all due respect, you don't seem to manage well at all. That's why I want to be hopeful about this... I want to be wrong about you. But, well.. " he paused. " You can hardly blame me for doubting you, after how our first meeting went. You really don't seem to be managing well, though, and I want to hope I am making the right choice to not try to intervene and end this before Tide gets burned with it. I need to know he won't get burned, and that you didn't strive to charm him out of deceptive reasons, because it certainly looks like a valid possibility.. "

[Mirach]

"I knew you would suspect me for that..." Senecio murmured darkly. "I told him so. But I really believed that night that I was going to be sentenced to death. I just wanted to enjoy the night, not deceive anyone, and I certainly did not plan falling in love. If I was given life right in the evening, I probably wouldn't know what to do with it. And if Tide is killed, I still wouldn't know what to do with it..."

[VisAnastasis]

" You was so certain that you would die, but you didn't. Why are you so certain he's going to die? " vampire asked quietly. " We are not close yet... But I do like him, and consider him a friend of mine. Do you think I would lead my friend to his death? Or in this case, hmm... Literally to Death? "

[Mirach]

"I only know about these matters what he told me, and he sound rather certain he is going to die. But I was too, that's true... But he still wants to do this slowly, properly, and I would like that too."

[VisAnastasis]

" I think that.. I can live with that. " Erdel said slowly, after a pause. " I must say.. It is hard to promise anything. But while Tide knew Svarik, while i can't claim I know Death well, I have observed him for quite a while already. He has an aura of terrifying power... But he is also... slow to cruelty. I had first been half demon, a victim of half demon myself - and while I was so, he was polite, almost kind to me. He never tried to bring me harm, and while I did avoid him generally to keep myself on safe side, he never showed any disdain to me when we would meet. He could had been cruel, had he chosen to, at least in his words.. but he did not, not even as we spoke. When I became a full demon as I am now, he did not attack me, he only started avoiding me, as if wanting not to have any excuse to harm me... I like to believe it's because he does not want to harm me. " vampire was quiet, as he added. " I do... Feel great compassion to him. I am.. very... Fabricated by him. " he admitted quietly, with some wonder in his voice. " By everything he is. His soul is so strange, sad and twisted with pain, but, so... bright.. and pure... I want him to be well. But I do hope, sincerely, that it won't be at other's expense. When he is cruel, I feel, it is when he decides to be so, not just on whim. If we explain him Tide's good intentions properly, I have high hopes that this may end well.... That is only reason why I am willing to make such risks...  "

[Mirach]

"That sounds more hopeful when you say it like this," Senecio said with some relief. "From what Tide said, just sending that flute to Death's descendant has condemned him to death..."

[VisAnastasis]

" That is why I am telling you this. I hope you can have more hope... because Tide needs it right now. He needs someone to be hopeful for him, and maybe help him have a little bit of that hope as well. " vampire whispered. " Death's descendant... Is one of the sweetest, most pure people you can imagine. He is genuinely a balm of a person. With his help, I do believe that we will be able to sway Death's opinion, if not to accept Tide's help, then to not seek his demise, at least. But I understand why Tide is so certain he is doomed. I only know Death from this little time, how he is and acts now. I do assume he's probably more easily brushing me of, too, because I am so young and had nothing to do with a war. That is why, as he is someone who was so involved in conflicts, I understand Tide's fear of being killed. He will need someone, in the following days, to help him deal with that fear and grow more hopeful... " he implied, very slowly, very carefully, as he glanced at actor meaningfully.

[Mirach]

"I promised him I will do my best in playing the Spirit King in this play in two weeks, so he can feel compassion with him," Senecio said quietly.

[VisAnastasis]

Erdel nodded slowly.
" I have read your letter. " he said then, simply and directly, then. " I know you want to hear what I think of it, so.. " he cleared his throat, and looked at actor, with simple confidence and dignity. " You have done me wrong, and you have risked health and well being of me, and my king as well, should he had been poisoned. You treated my life as it had no worth, when you refused to give king antidote to safe me. It is foul, the way it made me feel. I can not forgive such treating lightly. " he whispered. " Yet... I wish to believe you are better than that, like good people back home believed I was better than the bad things I felt I had to do. I feel you really did want my forgiveness... But I shan't give it to you so cheaply, for free. You can earn it, though. " he said then. " I want to ask three things of you, and if you do them, I'd consider us, in lack of better tern, even, for now. First thing, is, of course, that I wish you to treat Tide well in following days - it's not like I believe he will die, since I will do my best to make sure he does not, but none the less... In this time uncertain for him, he deserves to feel, if not loved, appreciated. If he acts good to you, I expect him to treat him as well, not hesitate, wondering if it'll be pointless if he's dying anyway. Remember, he wanted to be with you even when it was uncertain you'd live. It would only be fair you treated him the same way now, when tables have turned. "

[Mirach]

Senecio nodded. "That's something I want to do for him, not for you. Is there something I can do for you? I really didn't know that the poison can harm demons that much. I wouldn't use it if I knew... It was supposed to be harmless to humans, that's why I used it."

[VisAnastasis]

" I think that... You are honest when you say it. At least I want to believe that. " vampire replied to him. " I will need more time... To see if I can believe you, and your letter. But for now, I wish us to pretend, that I do... " he said quietly. " Because I will need more time, to actually accept this choice, as good one. And when I get back here, I'd need to see you treat Tide well, so I can be sure I made right choice, not convicted a gentle hearted creature on another heartbreak. That is what I will enjoy seeing, and see, I hope. None the less, you already apologized. I do not know what else can you do for me... " he shrugged. " Expect respect the three things that I mentioned I want to ask from you, that I wish you to do. What you can do for me, is prove me I am not wrong about trusting you now, and earn my forgiveness. If you truly repent for your act and want to get it, you need to meet my conditions. "