Senecio adn Tide II

[VisAnastasis]

" My, my, would you look at that - we need to have a gathering to find people willing to take part in our extremely adorable group project, and a ball where a huge number of Beings are scheduled to appear  at once will happen tonight. Isn't it perfect? Our "let's make the most adorable moths in the world" project seems destined to be a smashing hit! " Alpha clapped his hands, his gaze upon meadow king even more fond than before, always growing a little softer whenever Svarik would be respectful and regardful towards others, like he was in his attitude to Erdel and Simbel. " Lot of Beings would definitelly be willing to give you a bit of themselves or their help in exchange for small deals, or if you promised to make a moth for them in exchange. Actually, when I think about it, even if it requires more food for Simbel, I'd be willing to chip in and give money to the food expenses subscription in order to get one moth for myself. While artefacts that enable me to appear at your location when shields open up are great and all, they still don't give me enough context to know what to expect. Like, are you attacked by demon hunters, or is there just some crazy drunk guy swinging a bottle at you? How scared of my mind from 1 to 10 should I be? Context is an absolutely awesome thing to have, yeah, so Simbel telling me what is going on when there's danger would be extremely cool, and not gonna lie, cute fuzzy fluffs are just as amazing to have, as a treat, " he narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. " We never ever could have had something like this before, because things like making communicating mirrors put enormous stress on Janus, so more than a mirror made here or there was out of the question. But moths are not hard to make, and all functions comes from feeding Simbel, so wouldn't it be damn cool for more of us to have moths? We can start small and build up to higher number over time, with Eros bringing moths to be refilled at the pond whenever they get empty, and money subscription to cover food for Simbel per moth cost. I know you guys already use Eros as messanger pigeon in all but name, it would be damn great to use him as refilling messanger to bring our moths back and forth.  "
" It... is true strain to me was main factor that limited lot of our... technical abilities, " Janus admitted timidly. " With  this... "let's make the most adorable moths in the world" project, Simbel is fulfilling main function all on his own, so our limits are much lesser. I believe for start, at least you, little Svarik, your boyfriend, little Erdel, sir Hans and Alpha should have moths. Sir Hans had great headaches in last three years having to rely to great lenghs on animal messengers between him and your Mister Falcon. Having instant communication through Simbel will be good for everyone. We finished making Senecio's artefact, so we are free to set our schedule from now on. I was planning on spending next part of the day continuing my work on little Erdel's sword first and showing how it's done to the children. I still have about two hours of work on it left, but afterwards, if you get us materials from Hans, we can start working on the snake. That way, working on it in breaks between babysitting the children, I think we should finish the snake before tomorrow morning. Snake will be my work by biggest part, while others chip in, most of labor of making its vessel is phisical and my part. Moths are easier, but since we will personalise each with different powers, I believe we should make them after the snake is done, so your safety is guaranteed. But tonight at the ball, if you agree, we... we can all come, and create a list of all people we plan to get moths to, and personalize what to put in each moth, depending on who all joins the project. I have done extensive research on Simbel's food intake back in the day, so if you need someone to calculate the value of food needed to be paid per refilling of moth  if you want to establish a refilling moth subscription for people that want to get moths to pay, I can do calculations for that, too... "

---

" If I can give you an extremely symbolic blessing to spend eternity with Tide just by using words, you can well damn bet this counts as a blessing, too... It's ten out of ten blessing. I have not one single note. " Hans replied, and with his typical fierce kind of gentleness, he picked up the offered pearl. He turned it in his hand and watched it for a lingering moment with a growing grin before he delicately tucked it away in the safety of his bag. Only then did he look up, not able to quite hide for antsy and excited he was about today by the slight wagging of his tail. " Well, if I had to nitpick... perhaps just one tiny note will do. Happiness is an absolutely god damn fucked up thing, and it's often conflicting. What I mean to say - even if it does not go well for some unpredictable reason, I'd be miserable about it, yes, but I'd still be happy that we did this together. So I can not stress enough that even if it does not go well, you don't have to feel guilty or worry that anything will change between us, okay? " he very carefully put his hand on the actor's shoulder and pressed it but lightly, as if trying to gauge if he was reassuring him or not, his expression a little sorry. " I can not help but... worry just a little bit. After all, you've not once failed me, so I worry that it may push too high standards on you. Even when you somewhat fumbled, it was for the lack of knowledge of Being matters, never for the lack of giving it your all. It might honestly be good for you to try a little less hard for perfection. After all, I'm your sole audition judge. You'll always play the role you wish, even if you were the worst actor in Lowlands, " he said softly. " So, you know, it's really not about making the perfect play. It's not about practising at all... We could not rehearse at all, ad-lib everything, and make it barely passable, and I'd still have a blast doing this with you. You do not need to approach this with the same perfectionism as the play about Being wars... All you have to be is be there for me. It will still be a comforting memory even if I massively misjudged the situation and we fail spectacularly, okay? " As if to prove the truth of his words, despite nervousness in his smile, Hans's feelings rang firm with clarity of his convictions and determined protectiveness. " I'm surely as annoying to you as Tide is to me when he overdoes things... but it is my duty to say those things. I took too large a part of your heart, so I must make sure you know it's safe with me. When there are things I can see you were not told enough, it is my duty to make sure they are said enough so they can not possibly be deemed ambiguous. If I judged for a moment that you offered me the pearl out of a sense of obligation to return my goodwill instead of as your genuine blessing, I would not have the heart to take it. Nothing I do for you means you have to figure out how to return it, because nothing between us is a quid pro quo. Even if things go ridiculously bad somehow, we'll be okay. You must understand why I need to say those things, don't you?  "

[Mirach]

"The stronger Simbel is, the bigger the area of his influence around the city where crops grow better, so I think it would be good to do some calculations about what we can actually afford while ensuring that all people are fed well, too," Svarik agreed. "Do you think the presence of moths would make crops grow better too? Money subscription is fine, I guess, but with food we are talking about the ability of the land, not money, and we need to find the right measure."

---

Senecio nodded. "I know, but you can trust me a little, too. I know that we will be among friends, and I give it about a 50% chance that the performance will be great, and another 50% that we will fumble it and we will laugh about it, beause this isn't about the performance, but about having fun with friends. Though, you can't blame me for being a little vain and trying to make it as good as I can, so that our friends can admire my skill for a bit, before they inevitably move on to congratulating you."

[VisAnastasis]

" Technically, any connection to the living makes Simbel stronger, too, just like Thief's hold on life was stronger with more Derhain and their stronger bloodline to latch onto. Unliving things need connection with the living. So more seeds and flowers living people plant in Simbel's mind, the more vessels he has - stronger he is. He has the ability to create either a parasitic or symbiotic relationship with life. In strict terms, there is no difference in nature between Thieves and Beggars. They both lack important things to live without relying on others' life force. Thieves just choose to parasite while beggars choose to symbiote. Parasitism offers way more benefits to the entity... but symbiotism offers more benefits to everyone. That's the only reason we are so generous. We would not offer help so freely to someone who did not prove they would rather endure a thousand years of starvation rather than become a parasite. " Janus spoke quietly, while watching timid Simbel, before he looked back at Svarik and replied seriously. " More vessels that spend time around people he is close to will strengthen his ties to the living, as well as many bonds with people in his mind. That will make him be able to do more on same amount of food by default. So creating more bonds and having lot of moths would be healthy for him, too. But if it's about maximising food production and his range... theoretically, you can also do it artificially, not just by feeding Simbel more and expanding from that one base. You can create more bases to spread influence from, "  he was watching Svarik seriously, as if he took lot of careful consideration before he chose to advice this. "Simbel's unique advantage is his symbiosis with the plant he was bound with when he was created - and his choice to not be a parasite to it. Take an old branch of the plant, and choose a city that has bad food production and make a pond and plant the sappling in the water. Take a bit of being bones to bind them, and have people that have bond with Simbel live by and tend to those ponds. Those places would be much weaker compared to the original pond, and much quicker to fade should you not feed them, but they should enable Simbel to be able to use his influence around them to make harvests grow better and better infertile lands. He was not a great Purifier for nothing. "
" Yeah, I remember there even used to be 12 small shrines in 12 different kingdoms at one point, it was a big deal as a part of early kingdom alliance at the time. It was pretty cool to have crops grow wildly well throughout the land, not just around the main pond. " Alpha chimped in as if he found the subject very fun, not serious, like Janus. " But thing is, those shrines are super hard to maintain because Simbels' other replanted plants outside of the main pond die if you stop feeding them for even a day, so you have to feed them to maintain bonuses. But the advantages are so great system worked well for quite a while, and why it crumbled wasn't for lack of benefits, actually, for surveillance reasons. It's one thing for Simbel to have great insight into what is happening in one city, the capital, but it was different for him to perceive well what was happening in many kingdoms at once. There were conflicts of interest, and when alliance fell and war started again, other kingdoms burned down all shrines to prevent Simbel from giving intel to main kingdom where his pond was. It was an absolute mess, and it was regrettable for them to lose the benefits of multiple harvests per year, but it was safer than having a wild card to betray them. "
" I... remember that time... It was... quite a disaster. When... you have multiple bases, you are more stable, but... it also is a double-edged sword, just like Beings leaving part of themselves like hair and nail lying around. People can use those to hurt you directly. When they... burned down the saplings around the land, it injured my essence directly. It hurt... for a long time. It took me a couple of decades to heal fully. It is... not their fault. I can not blame them for not liking that I am more perceptive and... difficult...  when I am well fed. " Simbel replied sheepishly, as if apologising. " Later, when they united once there was one kingdom, they would plant saplings of my plants here and there, when some land would need to be cleared, but such things would not last long. Conflicts on interests and everything. I can fully understand why they would fear my eyes and influence. My ability to purify and influence was useful...but also scary.  I can clear out salt and unhealth in the end by harmonising its music, clearing out bad tones, so to speak. When land is used too much, it usually needs rest or gets infertile... but I can keep land fertile with my presence, without it needing outside help. It is not like I can make bugs stop eating plants... but I can discourage them from eating food crops and encourage them to eat other plants instead, and I can kill most plant diseases, or blaance too much salt in the land. It is not a magical thing like you do, where you can make plants bloom with music... It is more about making sure plants are healthy, don't die from diseases, and making land fertile enough to not need rest years or limit harvest per year. But if I am fed well enough and create lot of bonds, my influence is stronger, and I can perceive more around me. Having my gaze on them all the time is scary. Surveillance is naturally scary. If I had lot of influence and wanted to, I could become something much worse than a thief, and it's scary, when you... show people that you are ready to go against them, "the creature was whispering quietly, his voice still sounding like one of apology. " It's perfectly understandable... why they would keep me in check. There were many minor bad clases, but there also was... a very bad incident once, almost a small civil war, when I caught onto a big embezzlement case through one of my saplings in the east. I was... quite enraged back then. Rich people profiting of great harvest I provided, while the poor were starving. I fought against it, but... after that, the state began heavily controlling my influence. And, it was judged it was safer... to keep my influence only to the capital city, so that the royal family could keep the strongest influence with food monopoly certainty, so in case of famine they would have to rely on the royal family, not any other force that could profit from my presence. They fed me... just enough to keep the benefits of good harvests around the city without... me growing willful enough to fight them on equal grounds. It was not their fault. I was... quite scary when I was angry, and I was very angry back then, with the rich getting richer, and the poor getting poorer. It was... natural that the ruling class did not like me ruining their well-maintained monopoly on goods with my ability to tilt the scale to places I favoured. They did not like me being able to see things they did not want me to see. They did not... like me fighting back. They did not like something unpredictable, like me having influence comparable to a king. It was natural that they feared that in my immortality, I would seek to get rid of them and become ruler myself. When someone clashes with you often enough, it's normal to fear they have such ambitions and try to restrict them, even if doing that will weaken your country; it's better than losing your crown. It was what it was.... "

---

" You get one Hans point for thinking of failure in laughing terms for once, but you still lose one Hans point for calling yourself vain. Don't you know your efforts to convince me you're vain are in vain? " Hans teased, narrowing his eyes innocently, " Can you really call things like being the perfect actor, not liking to go out without perfect makeup, not liking to show anything but a perfectly serviceable facade, vain, when the price of failure was so great? You had no backing. If you acted childishly, looked worse for wear, or lost your acting reputation, if you made the smallest mistake, you would lose only the leverage in life you had. You don't have to degrade the beautiful tenacity that helped you survive until now by giving it the name of a flaw. You had to hear a lot of garbage your whole life... Like, get that role at any cost, or you're a failure. Kill the king, or you're a failure. You are a disgusting person, so at least you can look good on the outside. But you have my backing now, and your world won't end anymore if you fumble the role, if you don't always look great, or if you're a bit childish and let people see you riding on Tide's shoulder when we're out for a chill walk. I do not scold you... I am telling this because I trust you too much - I trust you to want to do all in your power not to fail me, because I want to do the same for you. Just tell me what feels best, and we'll do it that way. But do not put on a mask of vanity for your needs and wants, please. Do not act like I am indulging your bad habit, as if I have to cope with the inconvenience that can not be helped. You don't have to say things like * you can't blame me for being a little vain* to say what you want. " With a gentle gesture, he brought his hand to Senecio's cheek and caressed it, with clear indulgence, caressing it as he spoke. " It is my duty and desire to create a space for you to feel secure to want and need. I am so happy that you felt free enough to want and request to do this play... I am so proud. If what you need is to be extremely well prepared to do as well as possible to feel more secure, we can cram and rehearse ridiculously well so you feel more secure. If you'd rather do little experimentation in failure to get a taste for how it feels to not get something perfect and for things to still be okay, we can also not rehearse at all and see how it goes. Learning how to fail safely is a required skill in life, too. Tell me what you need to feel good about this, and we'll do it that way, no blame or justifications or excuses of vanity needed, my silly bundle of joy... "

[Mirach]

"I had no idea about that," Svarik shook his head. "We can do that again, if you want. With one big kingdom, and people who perceive you as a god, it should go better as back than. But we don't have to, if you're worried about getting hurt again sometime im the future. You guys can do calculations for different options, right?"

---

"Somewhere in the middle, I guess," Senecio said. "I want the spontaneity of improvisation, but I also don't want it to be a complete fumble where we don't agree on things like when you should come up with the ring and it turns awkward. I'd just like to have a general outline and cues. We can do that after you give the ring to Sage and I take care if the invites. Let's call Tide and Erdel," he opened the window.

[VisAnastasis]

" Something like that is easy. I'll need you to give me the current data, like the population, harvest yields and so on, so I can calculate correctly. My old calculations were immaculate, but back then, taxes were paid in wheat since most people were farmers and money was relatively new, so I'll have to figure out the money conversion to give you the exact number. If you provide me with data based on each city separately, I can even give you fun things, like hypotheticals of what will change in each city if you were to make a pond there, so you can more easily pick final locations. But regardless, percentages of efficiency should be relatively similar to those in the past. " Janus explained, seeming to get a little chippier and more excited when talking about math. "  Main pond's plant is fully grown, so now that Simbels' health is stable, it will always be a clear, simple surplus. However much money you give to feed Simbel at the main location, his pond, it will result in growing an equal amount of food back and 30% increase. In places where you make a new location, though, you first need to invest enough resources for the new plant to grow big enough to have proper influence, so in the first couple of years, you will be at a loss, but once it grows further, it will, over time, turn into surplus, and remain a constant, depending on the fertility of the land. If the land you plant is already bountiful, it will create up to 30% surplus; if it's infertile land, it requires more food for Simbel to make it inhabitable, so it's only up to 15% surplus. So once the system is grown, you will never be in minus, so it's only a matter of calculating how much food is reasonable to give based on how many farmers and how big the farms need to be to be maintained are. "
" What Janus is trying to say... real numbers vary based on location, since it doesn't make sense to feed a huge amount of food in a location that only has a small population and farms - a large populated area will require more compared to a small one. But make sure you keep in mind that those numbers only stay like this if all you ask from Simbel is to focus on crop growth, good health and giving others good dreams and not other things. Every additional action requires Simbel to spend more strength. Like, you can not expect demon hunters to attack and Simbel to fight with all he has, and for him not to spend energy worthy of the fight. You can not expect him to do healing rituals on the injured and sick and not spend equivalent energy. That's probably why when you look at current numbers, you might think you are in minus when feeding Simbel, " Alpha warned him, narrowing his eyes playfully while gazing at them, as if he was smirking at something endearing. " That silly bastard must have spent an astronomical amount of energy from all you fed him to keep you alive and help you at Long Night. A cute bastard can't look good on neat and clear tax report papers when his priorities lie elsewhere. "
" Ah.. uhm... " Simbel's whole face grew three shades redder as he stuttered to explain. " There would be no point in... looking good on a clear tax report for Conrad... if Svarik was not there to see it. I'd rather it look like a money pit for Svarik to see, than it looking like a profitable venture for Conrad to put his signature on mirthlessly. A prize of light in those eyes is steep, but it's... worth it, "the creature gazed back on two of them, endless affection in his eyes. Despite embarrassment of being called out, he could not hide how much consideration and warmth he felt. " I am not afraid of pain in the future... Unless some insane safeguards are put in place, there's no way someone won't take advantage of it sooner or later. It is what it is... I won't hope for the impossible. I merely hope... things will be a little better. My intelligence... mainly depends on the food given to my pond, all else is just extensions of the main Me. So, in the past... to keep benefits while limiting me, easiest solution is... to keep feeding me just enough to get benefits, with me spending all my strength on other things, so that I can not think clearly. Sabotaging businesses run by my priests, so that when cutting budgets - easiest thing to cut to stay in the budget is what I eat. Hurting people I care for, knowing I would never not heal them despite it means spending a lot of strength... People who want to limit me have always had easy ways to do so, even without destroying my sanctuaries. I am not afraid of being hurt. That is not why I kept this from you... I can't lie that until recently I feared even asking for a morsel of food... You know that. But after I got to understand the current situation better... to you, who has sacrificed so much fighting the Thief, how could I give you more reasons to be reminded of the bad things right away, by giving you more similarities? To the thief, who made each Derhain a little stabilising point, how could I talk about making more stabilising points for me through the land? I know you felt anxious when you realised I could get stronger by being fed blood, as Thief could. But that's not... the main reason, " he reached for Svarik, and patted his hair as he tried to reassure him, caressing his hair as he spoke. " There is so much you have to fight to pass into laws... The order should naturally go to the most urgent things. Laws that protect the poor more, and protect children at the theatres, how could I not desire for those to be passed first? Laws to give citizenship to Beings and protect Highlanders and refugees, too. It's abhorrent how little protected they are. But above it all, it's you. My dearest Birdie and Mister Sunshine, " his voice was brimming with affection, his words being a clear testament to how dearly he thought of them. " Bull priests seem very fond of me... but they love force giving powerful sword weilding guy controlling Tarmagil's body, who feeds on blood and can heal warriors' wounds... I packaged the presentation well. We can't say it won't plant a seed of doubt if we focus too hard on the plant guy who makes crops grow better. So I haven't figured out a good way yet to spin it in to appease them. Even if I would like to help with food growth... I refuse to do it in a way that could backfire on you. I told you before, above all else, I will find a way to help you be together, no civil war required. I won't let either nostalgia or fears of the future deter me. I am thinking about maybe spinning creating new sanctuaries somewhat into pretense of creating military observation bases or something like that, that would need both army and priests personnel to take care of it, since you have to decentralize army anyway, but it does not seem good enough to fool everyone. So it was just one among many things I put on the shelf to keep thinking about while I keep building a good reputation among priests. It did not seem like the right time to put more on your plate. It is not that I hid it from you on purpose... I am working hard to meet and learn as much as I can about all priests I meet, so I can swindle them as well and gently as possible... "

---

The two were caught up in conversation in the garden, and Senecio could see Tide's face immediately lit up with the sound of his voice. He let Erdel jump up to the window first since the vampire was newer than him in jumping and needed more landing space, before he leapt up to the windowsill, too.
" I planned to leave this in your dressing room by the time of the next performance, but I guess I've been caught, " he stuttered shyly, and he jumped from the sill to the floor before he extended what he held to the actor - a bouquet of not flowers, but custom-ordered colourful sweets in shapes of flowers. He, who did not like picking real flowers, seemed sheepishly proud of himself for coming up with this way. " Each flower is different flavor, so... when you figure out which you like the most, tell me, so I know what to order next time... "

[Mirach]

"If spinning some tales is what we need, it seems we are in the right place. There are the best tale spinners here, and actors who can give the tales life. And they're already planning a play about the Bull, so we could talk to them about including something along those lines. But you're right that it's not as urgent, I don't want to rush them. Let's just figure out the moths for now."

---

"Oh, that's really sweet, literally," Senecio smiled. "I'll tell you when I taste all of them. Should I put them in a vase? I guess they don't need it, but would look pretty in one. A pretty vase please," he asked the magical delivery system, and arranged the boquet in it. "No, that wouldn't do..." he murmured. "No matter that I've seen them, I want others to see, too. Would you mind bringing them to me on stage, after the performance during the applause? I want the whole audience to see what a great bouquet I got from my great boyfriend... if that's alright with you."

[VisAnastasis]

" Yes... As long as you don't misunderstand that I concealed something from you because I was afraid you'd get wary of me, it's okay to set it aside until we talk about it with Hans, little Senecio and the others. I tryly am not afraid you'd hate me... I just... want to become strenght to you. I might be a money pit, but I am your money pit, " Simbel grinned with little more confidence as he reached and just lightly fixed Svarik's hair behind his ear. " So I will always have your back. I just did not bring it up because it did not seem like something to focus on right now, but I see now that it was a little shortsighted... we can still set the foundation even if we will be building later. I will be more mindful. I will make sure to tell you anything else I can be of use for... I mean, of help with, when we next make plans for future. But for now, one step at a time, I think the idea of moths is... both useful and wonderful... " his cheeks were red with embarassment but his voice was cracking with hope. " It will be... so nice, to be connected with people, regardless of distance. To always feel them close and know if something is wrong. To live so fully... how can I not want it? "
" Yes, let's pour all our skills into this and make the cutest damn little bastards the world has ever seen! " Alpha waved his hands, and with a dramatic gesture, fragmented space around his hands and from who knows somewhere materialized handful of colour pencils and a bunch of papers in his hands. " This is the first time we'll be able to milk Riversong's help and use Simbel's uniqueness to create something this great, and I can weave cool things, like refractions of sunlight, or shadows of moonlight or texture of soft furr into them, so we can reaslly do whatever and customize the hell out of each moth to the people we choose, so how about it? We can choose who gets it and see which to start work on first. You guys describe, and I'll draw, how does that sound? " he winked as if offering a great deal, while putting papers down where everyone could see what he'd be drawing. " You don't have any special obligations right now, and the day is so sunny and lovely, so why don't we just chill and draw some cute fluffy fuckers so we can get them made sooner? Is everyone in? Let me show you what a thousand years of grinding sketching skills looks like... "

---

" I... I see.. " Senecio could see the demon's eyes foam up with softness like light hitting the waves, as the littlest bit of worry for the actor after last night melted into a warm and thankful feeling. It seemed there was something stuck in his throat as he coughed and shyly continued. " I... will make it so romantic it feels unreal. I... will tidy up really well, and put on my finest clothes... and I will hand it and kneel and kiss your hand, so... so that everyone who loves you will be overjoyed, and that everyone who hates you will be seething when they see how well loved you are. You can look forward to it... " he promised him, as he slowly leaned a bit and reached for him, not for a kiss, but to caress his cheek, using the chance to do it now since the actor did not put on the makeup yet, so there was nothing to smear. " Tell me if you wish for more, and I will be happy to do it. It's the least I can do for my greatest boyfriend, who, even in the smallest requests, never fails to ask if I am okay with it... " The hand caressing him was trembling just slightly, and Senecio could see just how much both the care and mindfulness and how willing and unashamed to be seen with him in such a romantic way before so many people meant for Tide. " I... Hope my words do not sound pitiful. Most of my relationships were brief and not that great, but even if they had been the fairytale romances, they would pale compared to this. It is so refreshing to... have something like this... for which everything I experienced and read feels so pale it's not worth missing... "

[Mirach]

"So I'm getting a snake and you'll have a moth?" Svarik asked Conrad. "Maybe we could design yours first?"

---

Senecio pressed Tide's hand, as if to keep it on his cheek longer. "I *will* look forward to it," he said. "There's still a lot of time until the evening though. To better pass it, I'd like to perform the little play I promised to Alpha in the afternoon. Tha't why I called you, I need Erdel's help with letting people know and inviting them. And Hans wanted to ask you for something, so I'll go with Erdel and leave you to his plotting, okay? The ham sandwich play will be at three, in the water room."

[VisAnastasis]

" I can't lie that it won't be of great help if in addition to using Eros as a messenger, I could talk to Simbel directly in thoughts wherever we are. It could significantly add to how much backlog of work we can create from distance while still travelling, " Conrad, on his side, seemed a little excited for a different reason - one more layer of safety and ability to work remotely so he can spend more time with Svarik. " Are you sure you should not have both a moth and a snake? As a double precaution, in case of danger, and in case one of those two's full energy is spent, to have backup one..."
" Oh, yes, you are an insane trouble magnet, little sugar, wouldn't it be smarter for you to have both snake and a moth, one closely around the neck or in a backpack, another for the pocket? " Alpha chipped in with an excited clap. " I totally 100% endorse it for that reason, and not 50/50 because I think starry night themed moth and day themed moth for you two rascals, born at summer and winter solstice, would look magical as heck! Or scratch it, on second thought, there's four of you with Melody and Lipka - what do you say about your four moths being themed after seasons, Conrad winter, Melody spring, you summer, and Lipka autumn? You can't go wrong with matching themes for those things, but any cool set of four would be good! Times of day, seasons, flowers, you name it... the world has an endless supply of cute matching things... "

---

" I see... But please, stay here; it'd be unfair of us to keep your room hostage for however long this rascal Hans needs me. Make sure to have fun, my sweetest... I *will* look forward to seeing *you*, " Tide replied brightly, returning Senecio's words back at him. He finished caressing his cheek, and before withdrawing, he leaned forth, not for the kiss on the lips, but brief, gentle kiss upon his forehead, that held clear, bright feeling of encouragement and pride instead of more familiar hunger. He pulled back innocently and, with a hop, took Hans's hand and pulled Spirit with him. Hans laughed and waved with his free hand, and the two left Senecio and Erdel in the actor's room.

[Mirach]

"The autumn theme really fits Lipka," Svarik smiled. "I didn't realize before, we really represent the seasons! It will look so nice when the moths will be together..."

---

"I don't need the room, we're leaving," Senecio said, but Hans and Tide already left, so he shrugged. "Nevermind...  I just need to invite our friends," he told Erdel. "Can I ask for your help with that? I'd like to invite Alpha personally, but to others it's enough to deliver a message. And you're invited too, of course."

[VisAnastasis]

"That's the spirit! Besides, within living metal I could intertwine things like a soothing scent of grass after rain, warm texture of summer sand, a touch sensation delicate like a spring petal, a fluttery feeling of snow, and on and on... There are huge perks of having Riversong's powers to dance around my own limits, so we can push the limits of what is possible. Honestly, eye colours are ironically trickier than most things, since everything Simbel possesses changes, like red vampire eyes turned pink. Buut if we color original eye really dark shades, we can still tone it so that when they get lighter, your months have matching eye color with you, would you like that, little rascals? And maybe adding some season-themed painting on the wings, like autumn leaves on an autumn moth? Technically, we can create rune writing as the base layer, coat it in a few protective layers, and then weave paintings over it. It's a bitch to fix if you break it, but it would look damn gorgeous. But ohhh, how about nonetheless keeping runes visible for one silver pink moth? I think it would look sick to have one moth for general use around city that Simbel can own himself, use that matches his colours and his rune tattoos. "
" Are you sure you are not just suggesting it... because you don't want to exclude me from having one, or because.... You really want to make a fluffy pink moth? " Simbel could not help but chuckle.
" Goodness, no. " Alpha vehemently denied. " Think about how useful having a general messenger would be! So prim and proper and not cute at all! Sugar cube, back me up, " he winked at Svarik conspiratorially. " If you do, I'll throw in a sweet deal and give a bit of my light to make all moths glow in the dark if they choose to, so Simbel can make light show with them for you when all moths are in one place. I can even make them all glow in different seasons' colours and leave trail of shiny light and stardust as they fly. Sweet deal, am I right? "

---

Joy bubbled up with sparks within Erdel's feelings, as if, despite technically knowing that it would make no sense not to invite him, in his heart, he'd always leave a bit of space for what-ifs, so he does not get disappointed. Being invited without ambiguity made him smile sheepishly, knowing Senecio, who could read his feelings, caught him right away.

" Well, invitation number one is delivered successfully, so... my, we have quite a few people on the list before the mission is accomplished! I am coming, of course, so it's one down, a million friends to go, " he coughed shyly, clearing his throat, seeming to slip into planning and more soldier-like talk when he was embarrassed. " You are in luck, though - currently a lot of them are having a picnic with Janus and Alpha, so you could go there to talk with Alpha and invite them, while I go to invite everyone who's not on the picnic. Would you like me to jump us there through the window? It's never a bad time to practice a jump or two. And... if you're nervous approaching a group where Svarik is on your own, I could stay with you to talk to others and distract them for a bit while you set aside Alpha to talk with him, " he suggested with his characteristic straightforward flavour of worry, as he knew facing Svarik after everything had a lot of baggage, so he tried to offer any way he could be supportive to soften the impact. " Or, would you rather I invite them all, and just tell Alpha you wish to talk with him for a bit. Though, since he is avoiding Hans, if you choose that route, it might be better if I still drop you off somewhere else to set the stage for more neutral talk without anyone meddling? Maybe some secluded cafe, beach, restourant, or somewhere else you feel is fitting? Tell me what works best for you and I'll work with that. "

[Mirach]

Svarik could see an artist passionate about a project who would love to make a fluffy pink moth and wanted Simbel to have one, but also the practical merit of the idea as he backed Alpha up. "Sure, having an extra one that you could use would be quite useful if you need to talk to someone who doesn't have one."

---

"Oh, well, I need to talk to Alpha first, to see if he actually agrees with the time and place, since it's a performance for him. I'll talk to him aside and then we can invite the others, if he agrees," Senecio said. "But maybe don't jump right next to them, to not startle them or interrupt them if they're doing something."

[VisAnastasis]

" I see... Since it's totally a matter of usefulness, it would be unreasonable to stop you... " Simbel's expression softened, knowing it's as much about desiring to include him as it is a matter of use and cuteness. " Then... let us make sure they can glow in different colours and leave trails of light when I choose them to. When we make them all... let's have many night outings in the future. When all moths are gathered up, I'll make you all most delightful light shows. " he promised, thankfulness and wish to return what's his given with an offer of friendship clear in his words. " Let us have... many, many sparkly light shows to look forward to in the future. I'll... make you most delightful moth fireworks full of spirals and colors and twirls, my friends... "
Despite his previous flamboyant pathos, Alpha could not help but mellow out a little with the sincerity.
" You're... finally getting it, " he did not wink or tease this time, just smiled. " ... It's a deal. Let's create something we can look forward to watching for a long time. Let's make it an eleven out of ten... " he agreed determinedly, with passion, as he began sketching based on input from everyone as they started designing little critters.

---

" No worries, the garden there is huge, so let's jump in front of the gate so I don't accidentally break a branch if I end the jump on a tree. That would be unnecessarily awful. Let's see if I get us right to the estate gate where road is soft and there's nothing to break, " Erdel sounded motivated, not hiding his excitement over the chance to do math and calculations with a concrete goal in mind. He climbed back on the windowsill and gestured to Senecio to follow him. He took the actor in his arms and secured him carefully, before leaping up, way higher in the air than last time they tried this, as if giving him a little treat by the chance to see the city from so high above.
The descent was smoother than last time they practised, and while quite accurate for much larger distance covered in one jump, they still landed about twenty meters down the road from the entrance. Erdel made sure to carefully observe for a moment where his calculations were lacking before they walked in, going around trees in the garden in search of the group. They could soon see the picnic, which seemed quite lively - Alpha was painting, and the others were chipping in ideas. Demon's feelings were a little unusual compared to what Senecio would pick from him before, perhaps because he was getting better at discerning and was starting to pick up on deeper feelings more clearly now. On one hand, on a surface level, Alpha seemed genuely pleased and delighted with whatever arm project they were on - on the other hand, deep down, he seemed a little fragile, as if current unusual situation with Hans was taking a toll on his heart as much as it did on Spirit's, clearly making him just a little too eager for consuming distraction of an art project before him.

[Mirach]

Senecio hesitated about interrupting them, especially with Svarik who also seemed deeply involved about the project. Hejust slowly approached together with Erdel, waiting for a pause in the activity.

[VisAnastasis]

Erdel stood close by to step in if needed, so Senecio would feel more at ease. But he did not have to step in first. After a moment, when Xia noticed Erdel's scent and turned to the two of them, the youngest of the kids followed her look. Alpha, distracted with the art talk, finally noticed them, too, and he froze up.
" Oh... " he suddenly sounded unsure - after Hans had tacitly avoided him recently, he seemed not to have expected to see the actor so soon. A complex bundle of feelings swelled in his throat, hard to entangle and recognise, but they lingered with a streak of uncertainty and a brief tinge of melancholy, before they softened up into something fragile but tender. " Hi there, kids. Sorry for not seeing you right away. We were... making quite merry, " he cleared his throat, finally managing an inviting smile as he composed himself after being taken aback initially, his tone softer despite it felt like it was coming from a more distant place. " Would you like to join in? We are making plans to create small artificial moths for new Simbels' vessels for showing off and for the communication. Care to join us, if you're not here for an errand or an adventure? " he invited them, waving with papers full of sketches with one set of arms, and pointing at a picnic basket with another. " I am definitely getting one, so this sweet rascal Simbel can inform me immediately if any moth owner is in danger. If you agree, we were thinking of making one for Tide, Hans, you, and, naturally, little Erdel. Do you care to join in to help us design first drafts? We have a lot of delicious pancakes and star blood pancakes if you're up for it - they are a bit cold by now, but I could warm them up for you... "

[Mirach]

"A moth for me? And star blood?" Senecio paused, wondering what that meant and if that meant what he thought it meant. "Uhm... figurative or literal?" He shook his head. "Nevermind, I just came to ask you about something. The others too, possibly, but you first. Can I take you aside for a moment?"

[VisAnastasis]

" Oh. Literal moth, as in a little magical moth to keep in the pocket that links to Simbel, and literal blood pancakes from the cool star up here. Strange, I was sure you'd be more curious about blood pancakes, guess I am a bit rusty... " he seemed thoughtful as he stood up and carefully put papers down. " I'll be back in a jiffy, guys! Oh, and you sit right there, mister! Can't have a guest standing around like that. Come, take a bite while you wait... "
" Uh, I don't really eat... " Erdel tried to refuse, but Alpha pleaded softly while seating him down.
" Ah, come on now, everyone's already eaten, it'd be a waste not to take some while they are hot. " With a wave of his hand, he warmed the stack of pancakes on a plate on the side and brought it closer, since Janus specifically wanted to practice blood recipes all the more for Erdel, who avoided eating, not letting the chance to coax him go to waste. " Besides, you are young, and blood pancakes are good for health. Us demons have to look out for our health best of all, for everyone's sake. " he struck a nerve, with maybe only argument Erdel would struggle to refute, afraid of badly affecting the health of those around him if he were to get unwell. After a bit more of health talk and coaxing, when the vampire hesitantly took one from the warmed pile, Alpha finally seemed a little bit satisfied and patted his shoulder gently, before waving to others and quietly following Senecio to the side, not without a bit of nervousness while wondering what actor would want to talk about privately.

[Mirach]

"So, literal blood? I don't have the greatest experience with Being blood so far, although it turned out well. I'd prefer having more info the next time I try something like that," Senecio said. "But now, why I wanted to talk to you first. I don't want to invite the others to a performance when I don't know if there will be one yet. I promised you a performance for the cost of a ham sandwich. Do you think we could do that today, at three? I'd like to have something fun like that to occupy myself before the evening. But it's your play, so I want to check in with you about the time and about the people you would like to invite."

[VisAnastasis]

" Oh... I see... " Alpha seemed just a little taken aback. Now that there were just the two of them, it seemed it was easier for him to let go of trying to keep the conversation upbeat, leaning a little more wearily against the tree. " To be honest, I was planning to leave the city after I had a chat with you today and after I go to your next Spirit Wars performance to be supportive. It is not that I necessarily want to say no to you... It's just... that it's complicated. Because I know who I'd normally want to invite... but it does not seem like it's a good time, " Despite his words not having his usual bravado, it was clear he spoke the truth - or even more so, it seemed they lacked bravado on purpose, because the demon did not want to mislead him. " You probably know enough about double meanings of being deals and etiquette. Creating a deal with the promise of hanging out is little else but putting an offer of closeness on the table, while not setting a due date is still giving you enough freedom to never take up the offer - unless you want to. Deals have to be balanced like that, with both giving a chance for closeness and rejection of it. And if you do go through inviting me, it'd be insane of me to refuse, right? But... don't you think it would be worse if I accepted and put you in between two fires, instead of giving you a happy memory? Things are... a little, kind of... awkward between Hans and me, you see... " he spoke honestly, and indeed, from his perspective, it seemed he had come to a starkly different conclusion to what was going on. His words were a little distant, and the actor could feel, laced with hurt he tried not to think about, one, judging by his apologetic smile, he seemed regretful, knowing Senecio could perceive. " Wouldn't you... just be more uncomfortable, sweet sugar... getting caught in the middle of that baggage right now? I mean, I know he had a lot of obligations, and naturally, taking care of you after everything is a natural priority. But things have been... a lot lately. Even when he's not with you or up in paperwork, he would not drop by even if I was in the same building, and normally, even when he would not invite me to join, he'd stop by under the guise of checking if I am doing well as a guest. You know, finding excuses like that to see me. But even when I went out for a day in the capital without telling him, he did not try to contact me, nor did he seek me out since I returned in the morning... Please, do not take it the wrong way... I am... really happy for you. It has been so... so long since I have seen Hans this happy, with head this full of clouds about his daily life... " Alpha was playing with something in his pocket thoughtfully, as if to distract himself, before adding, much more quietly, with the same apologetic smile. " I guess it just... encouraged me too much to push my luck. I thought things were going great the other day, but... I must have pushed a little too hard. Hans... can get a little deflective and avoidant when things get too much. If it ever happens between you, do not blame him, please. He does not mean anything bad by it... he just has lot of baggage from everything, and when he gets overwhelmed, I give him space he needs, and he seeks me out himself when he is ready to, like he saught me out with you that day when he came to Forth city to introduce you to me. " forced smile turned just little softer at fond memory, as he added. "  I am just saying it would be cruel to you if I get you into an awkward situation and make Hans uncomfortable, just because I... was a little greedy to see him a little longer before I leave. Because my offer of friendship is real, I can not take advantage of your innocent wish to have fun and pull you into something that would suck for you. It's my duty as someone who looks out for you to tell you... might be a little more fun to eat some pancakes and design fluffy moths...? or hang out and read books with Hans...? or have fun with your boyfriend...? or probably anything, than being stuck between two silly guys who are stuck in will they-won't they for three hundred years. So, it is not as if I want to reject you. It's just that I was planning to... give Hans some space. With... what happened at premiere day, I am certain he has as much weight as all of us, sugar, in his own way... "

[Mirach]

Senecio shook his head. "With all respect, you're worse than sulking teenagers, both of you. What if I told you I asked Hans first if - in the hypothetical option that you would agree to it - he would come, because I knew you'd want to know how he feels about it? And I can tell that now, so I guess the first Being blood experiment wasn't so bad, maybe I should try the pancakes after all. I can tell you that if you agree to it, he was genuinely thrilled about coming and meeting with you. He may have needed some space for thinking, and you gave it to him, but now he seems done thinking and would like to see you again. I would like to do this, even with the risk of it turning awkward. If it does, it's on me, okay?"

[VisAnastasis]

That seemed to give Alpha a bit of pause, and he appeared a little lost in thought for a moment. It brought his current plans into question, though he seemed hesitant to hope too much.
" Effects of blood... are more complicated than that, you know. I would not put more baggage on your plate, if you did not want it. Blood or awkwardness, " Being said with a little thoughtful smile, as it seemed easier to start his reply with this. " There is a huge difference in whether something is given willingly or taken by force, eaten, or injected into your veins. There is great meaning to someone else's blood flowing through you, especially if it's someone powerful like Eros. I am not saying I would not do it if your life was on the line, but it'd be awful to fundamentally change you by tricking you into eating something by downplaying it. If you just ate Eros's blood, it would affect you maybe for a while, but it would be highly unlikely to change you permanently like this. But because it ran through your veins, and it was so much, it just could not be helped but end up meaning something more. It is like an accidental family ritual - just like family ritual creates a distant bond between two people, with Eros, you are at worst case at the level of grand or grandgrandchild. Because he suffered to save you, it could not be helped. Such a big selfless sacrifice always leads to more stark changes. That's how all things Being tied go, because we work on deeper laws of the world. Eros did not want a connection, either - he just wanted to save your life. Does it suck that people who see you would technically see a much closer connection to Eros and no connection to me? Sure, but I'd never trick you into eating something that would change that. " Alpha's words were uncharacteristically sombre and serious - Senecio could feel it was truly important to him not to be misunderstood on this, not that he was just placating him. " Sweet little marshmallow... If you want it, if you are curious about blood experiments, or if you're just annoyed that you have a closer bond with Eros than you want - I do not mind giving much blood, however you feel like trying, as long as you know what you are getting into. Being affected by me to a greater extent would, indeed, affect how closely people perceive you with Eros by pushing it a couple of generations further in their eyes. But it will always be your choice, not... an underhanded trick. If anyone tries to trick you like that, I'll kick their ass, okay? " Very lightly, he leaned forth and patted the actor's shoulder, before finally replying to his invitation. " Likewise... if you thought this through and are fine if it crashes down... since you asked him if he was okay with it, too, I won't refuse you. Just... while it's fine if you tease me for my definitely totally not great handling of feelings, I... hope you won't talk down the complexity of Hans's feelings to childish sulking," he requested, so very quietly and somberly, as if it was a sin to speak too loudly about it. " We were just... dealt very bad cards, that's all. It is not on me to tell much, so I will only say this: I don't blame him for a moment for how hesitant he is to start another relationship. After all, what Lord of Time did to him was... unforgivable. Whenever something dangerous came up since the war started, he would help with tips sent through others here and there... just enough to keep his hopes of getting back together one day... but when he needed him most, he did not intervene. Can you imagine... how crushing it would feel, if Guliermo were alive and kidnapped you for months to do gods know what to you, and Tide knew, but did nothing to save you, because he judged the future where you are kidnapped is better for the world? It is a betrayal beyond words. " Being's heart clearly hurt as he spoke of it, but there was no anger at the actor, only kindness and desire to be understood. " So.... All I hope is that... you'll be more understanding of him. It might seem to you, when you see how tough he is, that I treat him too delicately... but it's not because I think he's not strong enough to take on little awkwardness or little conflicting feelings. It is just... very hard for him to feel safe in a relationship if the other side just talks big, but is not mindful of his distress or anxiety. " Being's eyes curcled gently as he observed the actor. " If you watched it from outside, it certainly might not look great... How often he strings me along, pushes me back and forth and gives me mixed signals. I can't say it's not frustrating at many times, and may look like throwing tantrums from the outside. But I hope... you don't find him frustrating for it. It is no sin to sulk as a teenager, nor as a Spirit. Having big feelings you struggle to deal with is quite universal, whether you are a lizard, a bird, or a fly, a human or a star, "  he said softly. " I'm certain it sucks having to perceive it all now, but since it's not something you can escape, it's okay to have complicated feelings about it. I am certain whatever you perceive from me and Hans must be frustrating, so I will always be available for you to vent about it if you'd like... I just hope you save criticisms for me, not him. 300 hundred year crushout may sound excessive for human standards, but he was tryly in a bad place, trying to make world littlest bit better, while having to see his tormentor grow stronger, and even worse, fuel his hard earne money into Thief's hand in taxes to fund the wars he hated, all the while dealing with the fact person he loved dearly thought living like that was best future. He's... been doing better, little by little, when Thief perished, and all the more, after Tarmagil died. Perhaps he's been more sulky, more loud and snappy, but it's a relief to see he is freer to show and feel and share his mind. A quiet, work-obsessed Hans that does not laugh or jest, and only quietly fills tax papers - that would give me much less hope for the future than this, sweet marshmallow... "

[Mirach]

"I... kind of *can* imagine," Senecio murmured, stuck on something that Alpha said. "Guilermo was alive just recently, and I've worked with him for years, not months. I didn't know Tide yet, and he didn't know me, but Eros knew, even though I didn't know him. He knew and did nothing, and it was all for the greater good, but still it's a reason why I have complicated feelings about this blood thing - grandchild, you say? I didn't know that. That's something I'll have to think about later, but not right now. But since you say I should save criticism for you, okay, I do actually think you're being the more stupid one right now, for wanting to leave without telling him. Come to the performance, see how it goes, and if you still want to leave after that, explain it to him, okay? Don't just leave him without a word. If you want to surprise him, do it with a gift instead. I dare to guess that a symbolic romantic gift could be quite sucessfull now, just saying..."

[VisAnastasis]

" Oh? Well... I can not say that I expected to be in any, uhm... semblance of romantic genre, for a while, especially after... the premiere. Those kinds of things are what would normally send Hans in a downward spiral of self-blame, but... it seemed to me he is holding together well... building a home with you and Tide, so... it's not like I was planning to leave just to sulk. I merely tried not to... insert myself into a play that has no role for me, " Demon admitted hesitantly, looking somewhere to the side while rubbing his fingers, much in a similar way Hans did when unsure - his feelings were quite more distant and a little shaky, as if he was trying his best to in no way give the actor the impression it was his fault or that he's jelous. " So... what I am saying is that, actually, no matter how cool I may look, I am actually... quite exhausted. Like, I have strength to pull from, but it would get me sick, since I am saving what strength I have for bits of snake and moths, and to make clothes for Lipka for ball - Svarik hasn't officially asked me yet, but he's just a bit shy and I'll bring it up eventually, so I am keeping energy up for that. So I don't have any more energy for romantic gifts left. Oh, it's not others' fault. It's mostly because I have been spending my energy elsewhere. Since the premiere... I have actually been making *you* a gift. And while sure, I don't believe any empty romantic gift would please Hans more than me making something neat for you, I made it because I wanted you to have it. Contrary to, huh, popular belief, being immortal does not make you any more immune to grief... not that it sucks any less when you can't do anything. All I could do that day others saved you was bend space however much I could and distract other Beings guests and direct them to the ball, so they would not notice supernatural stuff going on to not make bigger mess. If I tried to insert myself there, I would only be a burden. It's not fun to be useless like that... like how Eros always is, " he glanced back at the actor, pausing, as if deciding about something extremely important, before he brought himself to continue. " I am not saying him to defend him... As I said, both Eros and I would be happier if you blamed two of us instead, because, well... if we were going by power to do something, Hans would be a much better person to hate, you know. And that would just be too sad. I know it may seem like I am letting Eros off the hook while blaming Lord of Time, but... the ability to do something is extremely important. All Time Lord had to do was let me or Tide know Hans was in danger, and there were ways to stop or at least rescue him sooner, even if that would mean we would have to retreat from mortal world. But Time Lord chose the only path where we could stay in the mortal world without Thief hunting us - if Hans became a vessel useless to him. I know if given a choice now, to have not suffered but bever have met you, Hans would definitelly choose to meet you - but it's not excuse for Time Lord. If all Eros had to do was send word to someone to save you, he would. He would not let you suffer just because path of suffering eventually led you to meet Tide. He would have just met you with Tide. But alas, unlike time lord's, Eros's perception is not of events, but feelings. It is more like being able to feel when fires are happening. Just because you have a vague sense of where fires are, you don't know who, why, or often even where exactly the fire is lit. You just feel the burning, and worse, big fires overshadow smaller ones. I am telling you this because Hans would not bring it up without good reasons... but if you want to ask, I am willing to tell you anything you wish to know, not for self-justification, but as an apology. I am sorry that we were so late, Senecio, " he spoke quietly, simply, directly with him, with no nickname or jest, only honestly - in guilt that did not feel pained and longing like Eros's resigned one, but subdued, and warm, like it did not matter to him if the actor would hate him, because it would not change warmth of his own feelings. " I won't drop any more baggage on you if you don't want to know - all I hope you keep in mind is that, however cool being a Being may sound... we are just a few people, fighting to change things. It is not as if we saw and knew what was happening with you specifically and thought it was fine to keep up at it for the good of the world... just too many fires at once, always. If we just take into account the last twenty years or so, Eros was in house arrest and under constant priest surveillance, and while he was able to go under secrecy, it was always short bits, because priests would check on him constantly. I was the one communicating mostly between them, and since I am the fastest, I am mostly the one coordinating Hans's investigations. Hans delegates many investigations while hunting for any possible cases he can prosecute. He was probably closest to helping you... 13 years ago, he almost managed to crack things a little bit, to build a case against Guliermo secretly, but before he could, there was a mess in the underground, and his witness was silenced by death. After that, nobody talked, and things tightened. Hans did not even have time to grieve... There were too many other cases, too many fires. To be more precise... Well sort of, big reason why Tarmagil hated Eros and Hans was technically because he saw their horns as blasphemous... but reason why he saw it as blasphemous was more because at every corner where Tarmagil tried to hide or advocate for human sacrifices, he saw it as blamshemy that shady strange horned creatures that mock Bull tried to stop him from doing his due duties to his God, " Actor could feel by cold, sad disgust not often felt by Being, just how much that man disgusted Alpha. " We just were wrapped up in things like cracking down on mysterious disappearances, trying to connect them with priests and trying to stop Tarmagil from sacrificing from the streets nobody would miss to the thief while the thief lived, and to no god but his vanity, after the thief died. Nobody cared if people nobody missed were dying, but we did. We tried... Mostly failed, but tried. There are reasons why vampires could not help but revolt in the end. He was just getting worse, and worst of all, it was not a problem that could be solved by killing Tarmagil, because others he groomed would just take his place. He isolated Eros first among all, because Eros did not have political power that Hans, with all his wealth, did, and because he feared Eros's gaze the most - at that time, about twenty years ago, with his ability, Eros had been best in investigating among all of us, and was always too close on his trail. It was while Thief was still alive, and while he needed priests to continue with those to have more strength to fuel his ongoing war with Highlands, so a lot of things fell on Hans and me after Eros was threatened and confined. Hans delegates and there are many investigations around sea he is funding from his own pocket, and we have been getting better results in last three years, since we started working together with that insane guy Falcon, but... even three years ago, when children were taken from the city, it was more or less direct revenge against Hans, for daring to stand up to Tarmagil - a hostage situation with clear promise they won't be safe if he misbahaves. You can ask me anything, and I will tell you, but one who knows the most about bad things happening at sea is not Eros, but Hans and Falcon, because they are the ones who receive reports and cross-check each other's case investigations and decide... when, unlike in Tarmagil's case, well-planned murder could help the situation. Hans knows it too, and I am certain he blames himself whether you hated Eros, me, Falcon, or anyone else... You did not see how defeated and tired he looked when he brought a few of us to Eros's house and told us how we had to plan a perfect murder, not even in a matter of weeks, but in three days. We delivered, because we all knew it was a murder done decades too late. It may sound cold, but... You are just one of many people we failed. Many people we hoped to save died over the centuries. We all knew we could not kill the Thief, so we did what we could to limit him and prevent him from going stronger, best we could, while researching ways to kill him. We failed again and again, until somebody else, completely unrelated to us, succeeded. We are still putting out fires that the Thief set ablaze. There is not a day that Hans was happy, in the last... no... There was not a day Hans seemed truly happy until the day he brought you to the fourth city to introduce you to me. Although he was anxious about Tide dealing with Death's baggage at the time... despite we were so late... he was so happy that we were not too late. Because there is nothing you can do, once someone is dead, and nobody from us has experienced it more than Hans, " he was still smiling, as always during the talk, but his expression was clearly fragile. " It's fine if you know the full situation and still choose to hate us... But it would be quite awkward if you hated us for thinking we thought your suffering was for the greater good. Like we sat around and drank tea thinking you need to suffer for enrichment to grow character, hah... Like, fuck that. Please, hate us for our incompetence. Hate us for being late and not strong enough. But not for indifference. We had none... "