Senecio adn Tide II

[VisAnastasis]

" I will wash them all away with kisses, until your thoughts  bloom with flowers..." Tide promised fervently and with passion,, as it seemed that those words hit him particularly hard, and he could not stop himself from it any longer. He suddenly leaned forth, with desperate aching heart and bathed breath, he covered actor's head and cheeks in endless soft light kisses, protective, possessive and warm, full of longing.

[Mirach]

Senecio didn't return the kisses, but let Tide kiss him while he was just leaning on the demon tiredly, clinging to the feeling of protectiveness. "I was so afraid..." he whispered. "I thought I was ready to die before, when I prepared the strike against the king. But I wasn't. Not for this..."

[VisAnastasis]

Tide made a brief brake in kisses to answer, stil holding onto closely.
" I can't claim to know what was going through your head back then.... but I think all of us involved wordlessly agreed it was more of a suicide attempt than a real try. I imagine you was at a really low point in life... even when you don't really want to die deep down, death may feel tempting when it is too hard to live... " He gulped, adding." It is not just death, though, what you got now... It was... A torture," Being's voice trembled with suppressed pain." I am happy you aren't ready for death, because I don't want you to long for its release...but not like this. Not because you suffered so. It is normal you are afraid of something like that after the pain burned into you so deeply. I imagine it must have brought forth many terrible memories too... Whatever could help, please, tell me, whether a talk about it,  a kiss, or anything else," he promised, caressing his back. " To be honest... I am a little terrified of you losing will to live again, under all this terrible weight. No matter how better your life is now, some things stay and haunt you, if strongly enough, to the point staying alive is too hard... Even the unbreakable things brake. I can not allow a ghost to win and take you away from me... "

[Mirach]

"Yes... it's the dying that was bad, not being dead," Senecio shivered. "Being dead... wouldn't be so bad. I can feel that allure. But I can also feel your feelings. I can feel them and I want to live. I'm grateful for that ability now. I guess Eros may have saved my life twice."

[VisAnastasis]

With his words, confusion and dread washed over the demon, one he desperately tried to control, but couldn't.
" You ask for reassurance from me that I won't turn into seafoam... is it... because you're afraid... your resolve to live will weaken without me? " Tide asked, a little shaken. " If you weren't able to feel how I feel... Would you not believe me on my word, that I love you? Does my statement really need such proof, when I believe you on the word instead? I know i's hard, but wouldn't... there still be plenty to look forward to? " he asked, with strained, pitiful hope. " Getting your room ready, buying that big mirror, getting you new furniture... Directing Janus as you rebuild theatre all brand new, and beautiful... Writing more plays and hanging out with Hans... He... is so much h-happier, since you grew closer... he hasn't tried to sing in hundred years, but he did that day, in desperation to save you. He really loves being with you," tears appeared in corner of Tide's eyes. " Is it not plenty to look forward to? Is that ability really... the tipping scale? Wouldn't you look forward to... to the future with us... even without it? "

[Mirach]

"I would," Senecio whispered. "But there are moments... when he's loud in my mind. Telling me that I don’t deserve this, that I should be ashamed of myself. It wasn't so bad when I thought he can't reach me anymore. But he proved that he can, even from grave. Now, I don’t know if just words could silence him. But feelings can. Not silence him, but prove him wrong."

[VisAnastasis]

Tide's lips were trembling, as he leaned his forehead against the actor's neck, tensely, but with great need, embracing him closer again.
" I... don't want to be so clingy... but I have to when you tell me those things. I... don't know if my feelings can really help... I am half unsure and embarrassed with the knowledge you can feel them... Half lost in this desperate bittersweet urge to aggressively snuggle with you... " he murmured, hiding his face in actor's shoulder, unlike his feelings - that were bare, vulnerable and raw, but full of warmth. " Hans or Sage... aren't really as casual as you. I never knew I was... longing for someone like you. I want to be this comfortable and in lack of any rush all the time. I want to smother you with affection, slowly, calmly, without a care in the world, " he smiled sadly. " I... was sure this abundance of attraction would have been carried through, with my actions... But.... if the ability to sense feelings is really helping that much, " he took a deep breath. " I now know you dislike Eros, so I will thank him in your stead. I am grateful for anything anyone can do, to help reassure your shaken heart... I really don't understand what your issue with Eros is, and I fear my confusion may come off as sadness and disappointment, but please, do not mistake it for disappointment towards you... I just like him, so I like it when people treat him well, but it's more important that you don't feel like you're put in a bad place mentally. If there is anything you need to say to him or anything you want to be done through him, but not wish to see him, I'll deal with it instead of you... you only need to ask..."

[Mirach]

"My dislike to him is irrational," Senecio said. "It's... not really important now. I'll need to deal with it sometime, when I have the capacity for it. I don't want you to think I would leave you on a whim of a moment. I'm okay most of the time. Just a while ago, I was planning a new stage with Janus and feeling so self-satisfied that I survived and won over Guilamo. And then, I don’t know what changed, but everything feels hollow and I'm terrified of a ghost. It's passing now, I think. Destroying the machines felt like destroying sometimes in me, too. It hurt, but it needed to be done."

[VisAnastasis]

Tide nodded, subconsciously rubbing actor's back as he listened.
" It... Is all in ruin now. It will feel better when all the rubble is cleaned, when floors are washed... When new machines began to be built. It will feel better when something nicer is done with that dark place," he whispered quietly, and then added - it seemed, with the same zeal he usually reserved for aftercare, he said now, with soft, hopeful longing. " I promised you we would make love to your tastes tonight... And the offer still stands. But I am afraid if we just jump into it, that you could be reminded on something unpleasant. After you just broke something deep within you, it must still feel raw. Is there... Anything I can do to help you relax more? We can take some time to have things sink down. It... Doesn't sit right with me that you feel undeserving of happiness, or that you feel filthy because of his touch," he admitted vulnerably, drawing closer." I can give you a nice scented bath, full of flowers, or I could give you a nice massage... Likewise, I really have capacity to snuggle with you indefinitely, if it's hard to feel safe just yet. If you can listen to my feelings properly, please, respond to them now. I have a mighty need," he smiled but faintly and ftraily." To reassure you that you are mine, not his... "

[Mirach]

"I think I would like a bath," Senecio smiled a little. "It's passing now. You're right, once it will be cleaned and rebuilt, it will be better."

[VisAnastasis]

" Good, " demon whispered, seeming brightened up by the ability to do something. " By the way, concerning theatre... I can hear Janus is quite busy, cleaning up after us. He has already begun taking out part of the rubble, and demonstratively pilling it up in front of the theatre's door, going back and forth, " he smiled faintly. " Should we bid him goodbye, and leave him to it? I know we planned to have a symbolic picnic afterwards with him, but if you're too upset to stay here any longer right now, we don't have to... "

[Mirach]

"Yes, that would be better," Senecio nodded. "I'm not in a celebratory mood now..."

[VisAnastasis]

" Okay...  Let's just leave the basket of food with them. It would not be nice to leave him to work so much without anything thoughtful in return. There are couple nice shells he can munch on, and I am sure he will welcome giving kids some expensive food as a treat." Tide decided, and, gathering actor in his arms, he leapt lightly to the theathre doors, so they could say goodbye to Janus for the day.

[Mirach]

Senecio already controlled himself better then and wiped away the tears before they went to Janus. 

[VisAnastasis]

They met the Being when he was on his way to unload another pile of destroyed machinery before the door, this time, doing so with a cart and a shovel. Tide explained briefly that it was a lot for Senecio in one day, and that they will celebrate some other time. Demon nodded lightly with the statement.

" You two cleared off the area pretty well... I will clean it up so that we can share the same glory for our deed, " he replied, with simple certainty and pride, doing what felt right to him. When his eyes met Senecio's, the perception felt strange and a little off - rather than feeling worried, it felt meeker, as if Being was thinking worrying thoughts when looking at him. " Will... you be alright? " he asked quietly, with the only discernable feeling being a light trace of guilt. " I wasn't... being insensitive, was I? I am not really sure I have much... tact... "

[Mirach]

"No, it was just... a bit much. Nothing to do with you," Senecio assured him. 

[VisAnastasis]

Being nodded slowly, not seeming fully convinced, but willing to accept the reassurance anyway.
" Well... As long as you can guarantee me you will correct me if I'm troubling you unknowingly, I will agree to take your words at face value, " he decided in the end, nodding his head a little. " Rest well... if anyone asks me... I will just say the destruction is an order from you and Hans, and that, regarding cleaning the yard, they should consult him, " he proclaimed innocently. " That way, the scraps and metal should stay on an optimally visible place for longer. I will arrange it in a properly dramatic way so that whoever of your enemies enter in the morning, they can be properly intimidated. "

[Mirach]

"Good," Senecio nodded. "Just act casual about it. No need to make it too dramatic, a subtle message is sometimes better than a too direct one."

[VisAnastasis]

" I did not plan to make a sculpture out of it, or write *beware* out of scraps, don't worry, " Being snorted a little bit, as if he thought it would be a funny concept. " I am not sure if subtlety is my stronger side, but I will give my best. Good luck in your efforts, too. Please, keep me informed if anything new comes up... And when Hans wakes up, do come by, so we can plan the changes. If I have enough materials, and maybe some help from Demons who have sturdy hands, while the roof would take time, we could rebuild the stage level to our liking in a day or two. I have proper tools for cutting and measuring, I just need material, workforce, and a vision... "

[Mirach]

"Yes, we'll come and arrange everything," Senecio nodded. He took a deep breath then and let it out, like shaking away a bad dream. "It's passing now," he told Tide. "I'm much better."

[VisAnastasis]

" I will be the judge of that," Tide proclaimed, but he finally grinned a little with collected reassurance, and kissed actor's cheek softly again, with reassurance of his own." Come on, you sturdy goofball... Let's go back home..." he whispered, and after actor was ready, with final parting nod to Janus, Tide leapt him in the air, landing before the mansion.

[Mirach]

Senecio hold on to him tightly as they jumped through the air. "Let’s check on Hans first," he said after they landed, already sounding quite normal and almost cheerful.

[VisAnastasis]

" I am going to hope he's waking up, but... Don't hold your hopes too high, okay? It's kind of hard to estimate how long he has to sleep. It usually resolves on its own, but I had Rain watch over him just in case, though," he explained, as he carried him up the stairs.

When they reached the room, they indeed saw Tide was, unfortunately, right. Hans still slept without sign of waking up - he currently just seemed to be in a period of higher fever, trembling a little as he slept. Rain, who watched over him, was applying cold compresses to his face to help it go down a little.

[Mirach]

"Is this normal?" Senecio asked with concern. "Is he getting better at least?"

[VisAnastasis]

Tide smiled a little faintly at Senecio's concern, with light, soft warm feeling. He sat down slowly, and while holding him still in his lap, he gently laid his hand on restless Spirit's head and began soothing his high fever.
" Don't worry, " he explained quietly. " It is always the worst right away - while he is awake, he can still push it away, but once he falls asleep, he can no longer consciously suppress the pain, and it all crashes on him... there is never telling how long he will sleep afterwards. His mind forces him to this state until his soul is at least well enough to manifest itself without... too much strain, " he whispered, and despite reassurance in words, Senecio could feel a strong sense of loving worry from the overprotective demon, this time directed at the weak feeble Spirit before them. " Don't... worry too much. It always takes some time. It is just really hard to watch... If I were able to touch and tend to his soul, his recovery would be much easier... But I've never touched his soul since that happened. He just can't stomach it, but... I'd lie if I say I don't miss it, " he smiled sadly. " His soul had really bright, fierce taste... It was always fun to explore it freely... with us who were friends since forever, brushing up and tending to his soul when he's weary or upset used to be no different for us than for humans would be brushing someone's messy hair... "