Senecio adn Tide II

[Mirach]

Senecio removed the helmet slowly with trembling fingers and handed the sword to Janus, realising that dripping it on the floor wouldn’t probably be good for the floor. Then he took a shaky breath and hid his face against Tide's chest, hiding in the embrace.

[VisAnastasis]

Just like he could not hide distress at seeing Senecio so shaken, Tide could not hide the soft trembling pleasure with Senecio relying so readily on him. He embraced him back decisively, but he remembered actor said he isn't comfortable with carrying in the theathre, so he knelt and just pressed his body against the actor's more closely, rubbing his back soothingly.

[Mirach]

Senecio sobbed for a while leaning on Tide for support. Slowly, his tears abated and breath evened, but he didn’t stop leaning on Tide. He closes his eyes and sighed tiredly. "Let's go get some fresh air..." he murmured.

[VisAnastasis]

Tide nodded quietly.
" I don't have to carry you out if you don't like it here, " he whispered, taking his hand. " But stay close, please, " he smiled faintly. " There's a lot of garbage around, I don't want you to trip, dear... "

[Mirach]

"Nobody's here now," Senecio murmured. "I'd like you to carry me."

[VisAnastasis]

Tide glanced at Janus shortly, as if momentarily confused about the definition of *nobody* - but then, he smiled slowly, not judging a gift. With a ready and eager heart, he picked him up, and kissed his cheek softly, pressing him against his body with a lot of timid bubbling protective feelings, as he carried him outside.

[Mirach]

Senecio hid himself in the embrace and the protective feeling radiating from the demon, keeping his eyes closed as the passed through the theatre. There was indeed nobody with the exception of the boys on the stage, but it seemed that what Senecio meant was that there was nobody who would judge him there.

[VisAnastasis]

Tide knew Senecio has mixed feelings about the stage, so even though boys have seen them, he kept going, indeed, as actor bid, taking the request for fresh air straightforwardly. He walked toward the exit confidently, and as they stepped out, instead of chilly air, actor felt a warm gust of air surrounding him, as demon used his heating power to keep him warm.
As they were outside, Tide looked around warily, hiding the actor in his arms more closely, as if afraid someone might come by and make him uncomfortable. His eyes fell on the roof of the theathre then, as, with his peculiar eyesight, he noticed a flat spot, decently secluded - and, with actor still in his arms, he leapt and landed softly high up there, where they could still be technically at the theathre, only above it, where the open air without suffocating darkness of the basement level felt clearer and easier to breathe.

[Mirach]

Senecio sighed in relief, and suddenly started laughing. But the laughter passed into sobs after a few moments, and then went from one to the other and back again. Then, as some time passed, Senecio calmed and leaned at Tide tiredly.

[VisAnastasis]

In meantime Tide sat more comfortably on the edge of the roof, seeing it's going to take a while, just holding him closely in his lap and rubbing his back when he wept, lulling him a little as they were sitting there together, concealed from the eyes of others. Creature held onto him with overwhelming protectiveness and growing worry.

Only after Senecio calmed a little, and a bit more time passed, demon spoke up quietly.
" I won't pretend to know what you are going through... It looks agonizing enough," he whispered, caressing his back still." We don't have to talk about it, if it's too painful to be put into words. But would... anything I can do be able to help?"

[Mirach]

Senecio took a deep breath, but he didn't reply yet, as if not knowing how. "I just... don't know how I really feel," he murmured after a moment. "It was satisfying... but hollow, somehow. Everything in the theatre feels hollow now..."

[VisAnastasis]

Tide nodded slowly.
" I don't know the answer to your concerns, but if you would like, we can try to find out," he whispered. " Would it help if we figure out where the hollow feeling is coming from? In my experience, even if vengeance is throughout, if the person that hurt you isn't aware of it, it can feel defeating. He will never return, and we are destroying his legacy... But it is not quite the same as facing him and taking vengeance directly would be, is it?" He inquired soothingly, trying to understand." Does it feel like a lack of closure?"

[Mirach]

Senecio nodded slowly. "Maybe. He's dead and he died thinking he won and took me with him. I can’t show him that I'm alive."

[VisAnastasis]

" I am sorry... If he stayed alive, I fear he may have really suceeded, though. If he had more time to witness your favour among Beings, I am sure he would have planted more traps," he whispered, not able to hide his fear and vulnerability, so not trying to, instead focused on the talk." To have such deep effect on you, though... I am sure he is worthy of being hated," he gritted his teeth a little." Is it... Just hate, though? Or is it... More? When I look at the children, I feel dreadfully sorry," he confided." Janus is treating them as well as he can, but they still miss the certainty of that human. I imagine it is very hard... To hate, despise, fear and dread a presence of a person... And in the same time, miss him and grieve for him. It must be rather painful... "  

[Mirach]

"Yes..." Senecio whispered shakily. "Yes, it is..."

[VisAnastasis]

A pang of pain, raw and deep, run through demon's heart. It was consumed with protectiveness he could do nothing with, and a layer of compassion as thick as a cloud, and under its magnitude, he embraced Senecio tighter.
 
" I am here for you," he whispered with determination and support." Whether it's a to spit on him or grieve for him, I can listen... You were not ashamed for other things, don't be ashamed for this, please. I will accept all your feelings... Whatever you want to let out. It is not your fault. He groomed you this way on purpose, my dearest... "

[Mirach]

"H-He did," Senecio nodded. "I know that. But he was there for me when my father died, and I know his motives were ugly, I see that now, but it doesn't change that. Knowing what he was doing and why, I still can't change the perspective of a fifteen years old me. And I killed him, I told Hans his name knowing perfectly well what it means... and the fifteen years old me just can't forgive me, and Guilamo keeps mocking me from his grave." The actor bit his lip, suppressing a sob. 

[VisAnastasis]

Tide listened attentively, but just like the endless compassion, he could not hide the pain and anger he delt. His actions, he could, and he still held onto him, as closely as ever, as if afraid he will lose him.

" He is a cruel man, Senecio... Should we care for the mockery of terrible people? Should we care what a person that abused us thinks of us?" He whispered with a quiver in his voice." I know fifteen year old you does, though... Is there anything I can do to reassure that poor boy? I know whatever I say, you already know, but they should be said. Senecio, he was a bastard. He took advantage of you in your lowest moment. Dig deeper for me, please," he implored quietly." For every kind word and warm meal he gave you, didn't he have it returned double with your body and mind and soul?" He gulped a little shakily." Has he not tore through it enough to cancel out every shred of kindness? He is a corpse that rots in the bellies of the earth and can never touch you again... Yet, you are still shaking at the thought of him... "

[Mirach]

"He learnt what I enjoy, and he gave it to me," Senecio said quietly. "He taught me that it's shamful, and everyone else would be disgusted by me, but not him."

[VisAnastasis]

" He taught you the wrong thing, so much so, that you are still breaking out of it. He robbed you of a chance to search for a good partner. He made you feel like you'll never find someone that accepts you, but he was so wrong. You didn't even have to leave this one single city to find one, " Tide whispered, with same firm conviction and softness both, as he spoke passionately. " He learnt what you enjoy, and he gave it to you? That's barely correct. He merely learnt what your body responds to well. Just because your body responds well, it's no less of an abuse, Senecio. Maybe you didn't say no... but he put you in a position where it was too painful to refuse him. Not without admitting that nobody in the world than him will ever accept you... of course, you couldn't bring yourself to say no, " he caressed his hair protectively, with the timid, but growing hope, as he dared to say. " So what... if he wasn't disgusted by you? That's something he did for himself, not you. I am not disgusted with you... I am delighted. Please, teach me all that you enjoy, and I will give it to you tenfold, so you don't have to miss the touch of a man that groomed you to hate yourself... "

[Mirach]

"I am disgusted though," Senecio whispered. "I feel disgust to him, but also disgust to myself for allowing him to touch me." He closed his eyes, blinking away tears. "I thought it will help, destroying everything he created... But I can’t get him out of my head."

[VisAnastasis]

" You can't expect an open wound to suddenly heal. Isn't it good enough we are acknowledging it exists, for a start? If we spoke of this the day you told me of your secret, you would still be telling me everything is fine and that you are don't think they are wrong in bring disgusted by you. I am proud of your progress," Being replied, quiet and unyielding. " We can tend to that wound as long as it takes. I can see that fifteen year old boy can't forgive you for hurting his only protector... But the thirty four year old you clearly  can't forgive that boy for being vulnerable," Tide smiled faintly." How manu more times will we talk, before you admit he wasn't a fool to despise, but a victim? You are older, and wiser now. Shouldn't it be you that yields, and extends him a bit of understanding? I think... That it was pretty hard, to grow up without support of parents or adults... Of course he clung to an only man that would take him under his wing... All of us cling for morsels when we are starving..."

[Mirach]

"I thought I was safe from him," Senecio whispered. "I thought I was safe and he can't reach me anymore... but then he did. And it hurt so much that I'm terrified to even think about it... but I can still hear him in my mind, saying *I only gave you what you wanted, I was doing you a favour*." He gulped. "I... I'm still terrified of him, Tide. I was just starting to feel safe. I don't know if I'll ever be able to feel safe again, even with everything he made destroyed."

[VisAnastasis]

Tide gulped, holding him closely with all the protectiveness and growing guilt in the world.
" I am sorry I couldn't protect you... I will do better, I promise. I will keep you safe," he whispered quietly, with both increasing pain and compassion." I really should have taken care of you better, instead of making it about myself... It is true it's great that you revived... But with so much internal damaged... It must have been an agonizing way to die, wasn't it?" He subconsciously embraced him tighter, as if the terrible man could indeed reach for him, and he could not allow it." Senecio, do you remember when those three men hired thugs to beat you up? They all claimed they were doing you a favour, because you like pain... Don't you remember how ridiculous excuse it was? It is the same now. He didn't tolerate you for your sake... He did it all for himself, so he could be increasingly worse and you would still stay. He got high on hurting people. What about the poor Emmet and the others? What about the rest of kids he ever touched? They didn't enjoy pain, but he gave it to them regardless. You were just easier to groom, nothing more. And Emmet, who was crippled and had nowhere else to go, likewise suffered terribly, because he was also pit in a position where it is impossible to say no. Guliermo was a twisted, perverted man... But he really is gone, Senecio. It may not be easy, but we will wash away all the stains he left in this world...":

[Mirach]

"Even those in my head?" Senecio asked shakily.