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The blessing suited him quite a bit, so it took a while, but he was doing rather well, new shapes and even colours coming more naturally to him over time. The whale was playful and coming closer, swimming around to play with familiar yet unfamiliar new kinds of lights. Tide on the other hand only guided him, but he did not speak anymore, rather than that, he was purring quite loudly, probably louder than Senecio had ever heard him before, and the feelings behind the purring were proud, soft and mushy, gilded with hope and indulgent pleasure. Whatever he was thinking or daydreaming about while watching him make sparkles seemed to make the demon rather happy.
--- "Oh, I am mostly going for the role of an ungrateful bastard that is testing his king's affections by being increasingly willful and doing things outside what is expected of him, " Erdel teased his intentions innocently. "That is to say... I will be playing Riversong, who likewise, always stood silently at Death's side without doing much directly for him. May I get your blessing to do this? Naturally, as an ungrateful bastard, I am going to do it whether you allow me or not... but I would still like to know how you really feel about it, "he whispered while indeed observing Svarik's reaction intently, with a slightly guilty flustered expression - but shy freedom with which he asked so directly reflected how much he grew to trust meadow king. " You never really spoke about how you feel about Senecio or what you think of him after what happened, and I never reported any of my thoughts or findings about him to you afterwards either, so while I am quite certain you won't deny this to me, I imagine it might seem peculiar to you why I am acting so biased towards him... " |
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Senecio admired the whale as it swam closer, not having a chance to see obe from this close yet before. When it seemed it had enough of playing with the sparks, he made the biggest bunch of them he could manage and then let her swim back to her family. "I wonder if that was visible from the ship," he murmured.
--- "Yes, I feel like everyone made friends with him and sees him as a really nice guy, but there is a gap between us and I can't really approach him and befriend him, and I'm not sure I want to. There comes a power imbalance with being a king, and I have many good friends who don't let me feel it too keenly, but with him I'm very accutely aware of it. I have the power to decide about his life and death, and I literally did, and he's aware of it in every interaction he has with me. With the way everyone acts with him though, I feel like I'm missing something you all have, but there's no way for me to have it. Of course I'll let you have what you do, though. It seem like quite an experience, to act in such a great and popular play. Will you be staying here for a while then?" |
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" It would be better seen at night. I often do it on moonless nights, when I want waters to appear shimmering and splendid, as if stars are dancing beneath the surface. So it won't be as properly seen as when it is pitch dark, but they should have still seen bits of it, especially ones closer to the surface. Why do you ask? " Tide nudged him gently. " Are you self-conscious about them seeing it partially? Ir are you discontent it's not dark enough for you to show them a better view? "
-- " Oh, I don't care one bit about the greatness of the play, I'd rather if it were an unpopular one, so I would worry less about how it would look when a criminal like me that should be repenting is seen playing around... I'll feel guilty if this leads to bad rumours for you, but it is just something I am too greatly compelled to do. I am not doing it for the experience of acting in a play, though, but for the one of seeing Senecio get better. I look forward to it, " Erdel shared shyly. " And, of course... I'd be missing you too much if I just stayed here. Rehearsals and performances don't happen every day, and I don't sleep, so it will be more taxing for my body, but I am planning to be only mildly willful, and practice running up and about between capital and here during nights so that I can spend equal time here and there until Senecio is better. Besides helping Senecio in itself, though, this is also... a kind of service I wish to give to you, too, " he avoided Svarik's gaze as he whispered. " You are too involved with the worldly suffering... and on the path you choose, for eternity, you are bound to see many sad things... If I do nothing and feign ignorance, you may easily see a miserable future for Senecio. Mine may be a small contribution, but I selfishly wish to see the future in which he is happy, and I selfishly want to show you that future, too. Since you will see so much sadness anyway, I want to do whatever I can, so that your life is filled with good outcomes and your day is full of rewarding experiences. Sir... you are a Listener, and your perceptive presence can be reassuring, too. If you feel like it would be fun to join us and play some nice silly supporting role in Spirit Court as a background character with no lines, like Solstice for example... why don't you just join us for a performance and see how it goes from there? " the demon asked unexpectedly, with something sad in his gaze. " When has the fact that you are a king stopped you from befriending people? You don't have to be friends with Senecio if you don't want it... I just do not want you to miss out. To be honest, he probably does not even understand well why I favour him, but whether we were meant to be anything, I choose to approach him first and foremost because I do not want to miss out on eternity of what he and Tide can be to me if they feel guilty around me. I know how terrible it is to feel immense guilt, too... so I thought, for the future of us all, I can afford to give up being morally in the right for the sake of being happier. If I choose to avoid him, Senecio would be crushed under the weight of having wronged both you and me and having no way to make up for it, and I did not want that. You don't have to, of course, but you like spending time with Tide, anyway, and you like playing, and you like games and music and art - so what is stopping you? How can you claim a power imbalance is tipped on your side if being a king limits your freedom to do something you think would be fun if you did not have to be king? If I can choose to ignore a voice that tells me I should just be grateful I am alive, lower my head and behave so people don't speak ill of you over what I do, why can't you silence yours and choose a path that is less dignified and kingly, but more fulfilling? Less proper for the future sagas and legends about Great King Svarik, but more right for you, Svarik? " |
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"I'm actually not sure. Partly I want them to see, but in the same time, I don’t feel like explaining just yet... although, you can do the sparks too, so there shouldn't be questions, should there?"
--- "It's not really about me. It’s Senecio who always approaches me so very aware of the power imbalance, if he does at all. I can hear it in his voice and I know he needs time. You see, you're rtalking about eternity, so we have the time, don’t we? I also don’t think now is the best time for me to try to approach him. Maybe sometimes I will play some role with both of you, it might be fun. Not right now, though. It wouldn't work well." |
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" Beings present will realize when they see you that I blessed you, but in any case, you do not have to explain anything if you don't want to. Do you feel too much pressure to talk? Since I am already carrying you... how about you pretend to be asleep, and just huddle up close to me and dose off for the rest of the trip, so you don't have to talk to anyone or explain anything? " Tide suggested softly. " You are an actor, anyway, so how about a new role? Why don't you just act like you're asleep and let me do any talking while you rest your weary heart a little bit? "
--- " It is only important that you don't feel like missing out if you actually do want something. I do not mean only on this. This is more about... sir Falcon. Legacy is so important to him, and he is looking forward so much to making you the best king... but if there is something you want to do but Sir Falcon is discouraging you... please talk to me, and I'll help you figure out how to do it with minimizing the danger, "the creature whispered, hesitantly, shyly, as if it has taken him a lot of courage to say, bringing up this subject by himself for the first time. " Sir Falcon longs for you to be remembered as the greatest king ever... But King Rowan was considered a great king who only drank a bit too much, King Ganael was famous for protecting his people and just a little ridiculed for sleeping around, and King Arlen was famous for his great charity, though also criticised for slacking off on attending council meetings... It is okay if you are remembered as a great king that happened to be a little bit childish. You probably did little to no background search on me, but since I was most learned among the vampires, in our power struggle between the priesthood and the army, I... was mostly in charge of forging documents and... similar things. Sir Falcon works so hard, having to teach you and pass laws, and then write down those laws for you in your handwriting so you can keep up appearances, too much work falls on the two of you to keep up... If I practice your handwriting a bit I'm confident I can at the very least take a big chunk of sir Falcon's work in rewriting your documents, so that he has more time to sleep, and that you have more time to play, " he was fiddling with his scarf, appearing rather vulnerable and unsure now that he has said it, avoiding Svarik's gaze nervously. " I mean... It's wishful thinking, but while I am not as good with the law itself as Sir Falcon or Ben Riversong, I learned a decent amount while I was struggling to keep the General's crimes under wraps and protect him. I could spend nights preparing materials, and we could... learn together as I follow and guard you along during the day. I know you can get better tutors, but people that don't know about Sir Falcon's situation are a liability to your happiness. Sir Mole has taken over a great deal of work within the Organisation so Sir Falcon can work with you, but there is a limit to how many laws a person can pass in a day when using so much energy to hide as he has to. He risks too much. It is willful of me, but... sir Falcon will need a proxy that can speak his will when he is not able to be present, and as your guard, I can be present wherever you are. I could play a role of a guard who is a touch arrogant and likes to meddle and give unwanted advice while you work, and you can be a king that rolls his eyes but tolerates me. I can be bait and draw people's attention to my seeming arrogance so that they don't pay much as much attention to Sir Falcon who will work in the background. Until sir Falcon can work openly with you as himself, I think the best way to protect him and to give you two more time to date and breathe is for someone to fill that role, and I may not be most qualified, but I...did so much more, and went above and beyond when I worked for the General. I was so happy that you felt safe enough with me who was your enemy, to let me protect you as a guard, but it isn't enough for me anymore... to just protect you. It is like asking a musician to carry an instrument around instead of playing it. I am just no longer happy, doing the bare minimum. Since... since you say we are friends, anyway, there is no reason anymore for me to be afraid to meddle in your private matters, is it? " |
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"I don't even gave to pretend if I really do it," Senecio smiled faintly. "It sounds really tempting right now. May I?"
--- "I find the whole system a bit ridiculous, honestly," Svarik said. "Why is the king supposed to write and approve all laws? I guess it works when you're just trying to keep things as they were always done, then you can just make a few minor adjustments to some law once per month. But we're changing the system and it's in no way a job for one person, or two, or three. Just take the law about theatre Senecio and Hans wrote. I know nothing about theatre. I'd never be able to make such a law, and I wouldn't even know that it's needed. How many areas are there that need such laws and I don’t have any idea about them? Conrad is amazing, but he doesn't now everthing either, and we can't learn all that matters, not even if we divide it between the three of us. We need people like Senecio and Hans, who are experts in their field, to prepare the suggestions for laws in the relevant areas. I'll certainly accept your help, but my final goal is to employ more people to create a system that cares for the good of every part of the kingdom and only needs a little nudge here and there. That's what I need your help with, if you are willing to." |
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"Oh, so I get to play a chair and a bed on the same day? How wonderful! It seems my acting career is developing deliciously," Tide's chuckled, fluffing up joyfully as he held Senecio more carefully from the side so he could lean back and sleep better, using the chance to caress the man's hair to his heart's content. " Hush now, you beautiful stranger, say no more. The love of my life has had a long, turbulent day and needs to sleep now... "
--- " The system... has always been faulty, " Erdel agreed quietly, his voice stuck in his throat for some reason. " Me, and sir Falcon, and Senecio... and you. We are all victims of a system that protects nothing but itself properly. Svarik... Do you think I suggest this because I love the system we have? I abhor it. The only part of it that I adore is the cog in the clock that happens to be you, not because the clock is good, but because you are you, " Erdel could not help but turn to meet his eyes properly, with a pensive gaze. " Svarik, whole my life, I have been hungry. As a child in the Orphanage, where they never got enough money to feed us, and the Council refused to allocate us more. As a young man who yearned to work, but who no one wanted to hire or teach, who had to turn to the army not to starve. As a man, who hungered to save every dime, and had to work himself to the bone even though he knew he was dying, because he knew if he did not save up his wife and child would end up on the streets once he died. And I can not even tell you that you don't know what it feels like, because you do. Because of the sad state of the system, you too, had to starve and suffer for ten years. I am not a good person... I still believe, rather than a corrupted council that was getting fat eating the blood of the people,the priesthood that tormented common folk, and an Army that was propagating a culture of violence, that a Tyrant like the General, who would force change down people's throats, would be better... It is just that you are a better alternative to the General. You, at whose side I could finally no longer hunger... I am putting all my hopes in you, you know, " Erdel was smiling softly, but his warm expression was pained. " You can not hire me for any public position, though. It would not set a good example, for a failed revolutionary like me to be rewarded with a role of public service. Leave such roles to deserving people, like Benjamin Bennet, who was taking final tests and almost ready to join the Council, anyway, had I not ruined his life. You can easily have him finish his last classes and put him in any spot you find fitting. That is why I do not offer such help... It is just that, until you change the system, and find enough people to run it smoothly, you will face inhumane, rotten work... That is what I can help you with, as a friend, so your burdens are lesser and you don't crumble under pressure. After all, did you not just say that most of all, you are happy with friends that don't let you feel the weight of your kingly duties too keenly? I am aware I have only been on the receiving end of your kindness all this time, and barely gave you anything, but... But I am someone who adapts and changes methods when things don't work. If reverence and respect only burden you, I will be someone who can help you lighten the load, so you can play more. Someone who will learn with you, so that learning becomes less lonely. Someone who will draw attention to myself so sir Falcon gets more space to feel safer... Someone who will cover for you a little bit whenever I can, so you can breathe... Is my offer that lacking? " he cleared his throat awkwardly. " I know it is not much, but with my criminal status, lack of influence, funds, or special abilities, I can't figure out much more I can do for you as a friend, not for you as a king... " |
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Senecio closed his eyes and leant his head on Tide's shoulder. "I dont know why I'm feeling so tired all of sudden," he murmured. "Or rather just done with the day and wanting it to be over, but not wanting it to be tomorrow yet. Does that make sense?"
--- "Now I undertand what you mean," Svarik nodded slowly. "Yes, it would be a great help to have someone to learn with me. Conrad is always very patient to explain things to me but you can see he's getting restless because he would be able to do things twice as fast on his own if he wouldn't be explaining them to me. But I don’t want him to do everything on his own." |
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" I see... I also felt similar whenever we argued badly. It is not like I wanted to rest... I just wanted to be in the future where our argument is over, but also dreaded actually solving it because I knew talking through it would bring forth a lot of heavy words and emotions, so it is a state of wanting and not wanting the future in the same time, " Tide explained a bit more quietly as he held him close. " If something weighs you down, do you wish us to try to make a step to overcome it... or would you rather run? " He asked suddenly. " My love, won't you run away with me? We don't have to go far if you are tired. I have a couple of coins if you'd like a nice snack from night food stalls back in the city, or if you'd rather us go to some of the islands where Beings live, I can make deals for some nice snacks for us to share until you fall asleep. You don't have to end the day confined by the etiquette of the picnic. Just tell me what role you wish to give me, love. A chair and a bed, a problem solver or a dashing kidnapper. I thrive, ever curious, in anticipation of the next role you will give me... "
--- " Ideally, once we can reach a future where he can work openly, it won't matter if he works ten times this pace... But for now, it would be better to spend energy to pave the way for him. Sir Falcon... he plans to keep hiding while you rule, to not damage you or the land, but Svarik, you don't like that, do you? " Erdel smiled frailly. " I don't want to speak of sad things, but there is something I have to say, so... that you can be hopeful about sir Falcon's future. We, vampires.... were always stuck between two fires, you see. Between Tarmagil who was only technically on our side, but in truth demanded we make more terrible rituals over time to keep proving our divinity, and between the council that believed our immortality and strength would lead to us eventually establishing tyranny and wanted to kill us preemptively, to keep status quo. Since we are immortal, we originally planned to gain full power slowly over the years, but we had to give that up and act quickly when we found out that the Council was secretly plotting to find you and make you an Emperor to either have you execute us or send us to a neverending war in the Highlands, so we would keep fighting until something eventually kills us off. Essentially, we wanted theocracy with us at the head, and the Council wanted a Republic with them at the head and monarchy in name only. You, a simple farmer, were a perfect puppet for them... It wasn't just us that were bastards - we all were, us, bastards that wanted power to get rid of old systems, them, bastards that wanted to preserve power they had. Perhaps some were somewhat nice like Riversongs, or neutral to a fault, like Letian, but the majority were corrupted bastards. I... I also agreed at the time with other vampires, that the only way for us to win was for General Irnet to be killed and for us to use his general position to publically kill you before the council can use you. I... Am a person unworthy of your friendship, because my heart is ugly. Just like I judged your one death would be a fair price for not starting any new wars and keeping our lives, I am content our Slaughter in the council prevented you from living the life of a Bird in a cage... Just like I think you were objectively wrong not to kill us all, even if I am shamelessly happy to be alive, " Demon shook his head quietly, with a raw, heartbroken expression. " I just... Wanted to tell you this, so... so you know your open future with Sir Falcon has good prospects. The ugly council we were in conflict with is not the same as the one you are ruling now. If it was the old council, the worst members would definitely want to kill Sir Falcon or blackmail you with his life so you just sit still like a pretty doll, and change nothing while their pockets are filling with blood money. But the new council, with Tarmagil dead, Letian no longer stuck with having to mediate between wolves and able to actually get work done, and Dirnek and Selegon's votes on your side... Now that our religion and laws are changing, with the new council, it is possible to do it without the Civil War, " Demon said decisively. " Honestly, I don't love you for your virtues, but for your flaws, just as I love sir Falcon and Senecio, and like I loved General for his flaws... Please, exercise your flaw of finding it hard to reject people's sincere pleas. What I ask from you is to start asking and expecting more help from me. If you really do deem me your friend include me in the plans for Sir Falcon's life. I don't know how exactly you desire to claim him before the public, as your advisor, your right hand, or if you wish to make him King through marriage or in any other way... What is your plan, Svarik? Whatever it is, I want to fight for the future you desire this time, not the one of hiding Sir Falcon, drowned in his fears, is settling for... " |
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"Oh, yes!" Senecio smiled abd straightened, suddenly more energetic. "Let's run! And I know exactly where to. We're close to the Fourth city, aren't we? I want to go there, find the first open theatre we come across and see the pay they're doing today. I want to go to a theatre that's not ours, and watch a play that's not ours and enjoy being entertained without having to do anything, and then criticize it to hell. Or not, if it's decent, I'm not unfair. I just want to experience theatre from the other side and remind myself how it feels. You in?"
--- Svarik looked around to see thay nobody is listening to them, but with so many Listeners on board, he knew the chances were slim and he had to rely on them giving him and Erdel some privacy when he needed it - which the look was actually about, a subtle request for it. Still, he lowered his voice as he whispered to Erdel. "I want to marry him, if he would agree. I'd marry Lipka first and let things settle a bit, but then I want to ask him to marry me too and have two spouses, like the kings of old." |
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Tide's feelings flashed with just a slight spike more anxiety at first, but then, a timid hopefulness coloured them.
" You know, not counting your and Hans's play, where many Beings were in the audience and I managed to blend in, the very first and last time I watched a play everyone stared at me to the point I avoided anything related to the theatre for centuries... Yet, knowing you, I feel new appreciation and wonder... I am curious, what kind of future running away today will lead us to, " Demon replied, as he grinned a little more, and offered Senecio a hand as if inviting him to seal the deal. " Senecio, will you be okay going on a date to the theatre with me, even though I may be a bit tense at times due to my sour memories? As long as we take seats that are more in the back so that my height does not cause trouble for people, and as long as it's with you... I truly do desire to see any play with you, even if it's a bad one. So, are 'you' in, dear? Even though your partner is new to all this theatre thing? " --- " Sir Falcon loves you above anything... but he won't agree unless conditions are perfect. I... will do everything I can to give you the best conditions, " Erdel, likewise, felt the need to whisper, even though others were having their own conversations to give them space and weren't listening. " Like I said, I can't do everything on my own, but I am good at pulling my own weight. Since I will be going back and forth to the sea, I can mediate directly between you, Hans and Senecio. Those two are definitely the most competent allies in the South for controlling public opinion, along with the influence Hans's rule as an underground leader of the South brings. So, me, and Mole who can help you with controlling the council in the capital, and I can mediate with Hans who will be doing his part. The army faction is the biggest liability when it comes to the possibility of civil war, as it is not like people themselves will spontaneously take arms to kill him right away, but if we are not prepared, people hungry for power will use killing Sir Falcon as an excuse to stir up public opinion to give themselves a justification to dethrone you. But as long as we keep strict control over our opponents at South and Capital, I can promise civil war won't be serious, but if you, who is the only one that can do it, manage to secure the help of former General Otma and gets him to work with us on vouching for sir Falcon, we have high chances to shift public opinion enough so that there won't be any war at all, no matter the discontent some may be. You must take heed that with the crowning of Sir Falcon, assassination attempts and threats to your safety would rise, so he may also worry too much to accept in such a case, too, but you can use Simbel's religion as a shield from religious people and from people tied to the army... I think you should use us. Us, vampires, I mean, " he gulped, watching Svarik just a touch anxiously as he shared his thoughts. " Our status is currently blurry, as half of us are supposed to be deported to Liron's realm, and half are supposed to serve the kingdom to repent... but the method of service we should do was never specified. Falcon is using that fact as a vague pressure towards powerful aristocracy so they behave towards you, but you can do more. You know, you paid such a high cost to save them all... So don't you think you should allow yourself a little higher expectations? " Erdel could not help but smile a little brighter as he asked. " We were all top army officials, each highly competent in our fields... You can't use us in the army or the Underground, but why not come up with some unofficial but noticeable way to have us stay in the public eye, while obedient to you, to put pressure on people who would want to harm you, while at the same time instructing them to gather dirt we can use to blackmail your enemies into not touching sir Falcon? I know we are criminals, and you don't have to have anything to do with us... But if you have a really good card, why not use it? I... know it may feel unpleasant, having to rely on General, after what he did... but he is not incapable, and if I was making this choice... I would choose not to send away anyone at all, but use them to help you with this. Once General and the vampires that want to follow him leave, you would have 6 vampires left, while right now, you have 11, and General actually seems like he would be. um... quote content staying, compared to leaving for Liron's realm where vampires are still vastly prosecuted. The last time I saw him, he looked actually a little bit... happy, while Simbel was teaching him swordsmanship, and... I mean, what do you think? To be honest, you barely ever spoke of our future, so I can't guess what you even really think of us... It always seemed to me that, besides making sure we were fed and safe, you never spared much thought about what to do with us... " |
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"I'm also going incognito but don't want to bother with disguise, so back tow it is, after it gets dark. Or a private lodge, if they have one and it's free. If it's not free, a big enough brine will make it free. I know a place with a few of them, so that's where we should try to go first. So I'll take care of that part, and you take care of abducting me from here, right?"
--- "That's true, I guess. I'm not used to making any big plans for the future besides being safe and fed myself, you see. Not really the best qualificanion for a king, is it? I don’t have any plans for vampires as a group. You're all individual persons, so it would be best to find a best place for each. That's what you can help me with, maybe." |
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Tide's eyes beamed with pleasure with the reassurance and ease with which Senecio responded to his anxieties. His heart clearly felt lighter, and as if he could not help himself, he laughed.
" I was so right, "he proclaimed brightly while putting arms around the actor to secure him. "All the roles you give me are delightful! Look forward to it, it will be the best kidnapping ever! " he proclaimed, and after he looked briefly upwards, probably glancing to see if everyone would be alright without them, he turned back - and with Senecio in his arms, he was laughing as he dashed forward, not rising up to the surface, but instead lighting up countless sparks around them and using water to push their air bubble forth on the same depth level, so they could make a run toward the Fourth city without anyone seeing them. He was careful not to crash into any sea creatures that moved away or shifted around their bubble, but his bubbliness was hard to contain, as he was clearly excited about a new kind of date he never had in the past. --- " I... Will suggest something, but don't be disappointed if it's not something you approve of, okay? "Erdel's lip wobbled a little bit, as he seemed encouraged yet tenser." There is a way where you can technically give them more space to figure out what they want, while still treating them as a group before the public. You will need to give your enemies a target other than Sir Falcon so that he is safer. A way to distract your enemies with a target they can't possibly kill. We are very resilient, so assassination attempts on us is more of a joke, really... So what is a safer shield than us? Give us something only we can do for you. If you create a group that has loose obligations and answers only to you, they can technically be their own faction that supports you and puts pressure and worries your enemies, while actually doing whatever you feel like you should individually give them to do. Svarik, there are no White Eagle knights anymore, but as a King, you can create a new knight order. While you may tie it to yourself, I personally think it would be good to tie it to Simbel, and give them vague goal, like serving him as new Deity. Paladin knight order, like in ancient bedtime stories, if you will. Like that, on surface, you'd create a buzz that would dstract people from focusing on sir Falcon, but won't change their actual days much, as they would be just doing what they do now, anyway - following Simbel around. This is something that wouldn't be possible if Simbel didn't seem to unexpectedly have soft spot for them, and if his presence didn't appease their hunger by a lot... but they seem like an odd, but healthy combination. Even General looks quite content with Simbel's overbearing protectiveness and doesn't seem to be up to any mischief, so... Don't you think it's worth a try? You are not the best at communicating, because you assume the way you think is common sense, even if it isn't, and that can be a tiny problem, though, so if you follow my advice you should definitelly make sure to explain straightforwardly why you want to do this instead of just letting them wonder... And explain the whole thing about why you saved us when you are at it. You don't give it much thought, but it is still ever on our minds, you see. If at least you made it clear you needed something from us and that's why you were so determined for us to live, it would be easier to digest... But when you seemingly expect nothing, it leaves us anxious. We all more or less come from underprivileged backgrounds, and nobody ever helped us without any shackles involved. Even overlooking protecting us at the start... but protecting us when... Demian kidnapped you? It makes no sense, you see, "Erdel explained hoarsely, looking at Meadow King intently. " That's mostly what's making others anxious, and resolving that would go a long way to reassure them that you aren't planning to use them and discard them when whatever you secretly actually wish them for is achived. I myself, was anxious and confused for a long time, too. But after I spent time with you, I realized efficiency and easier paths is just... not the way that you choose things. It is something I can not properly put a name to, but whatever that something is, it makes you... a person I treasure. I still don't understand it, but I don't have to understand it to adore it, just like I don't need to know how rainbows work to feel wonder when I gaze at them. Had you been more of a king material, maybe I would feel less worries about your future, but I would not yearn to fight for your happiness as much as I do. Even if you were a bad person, I would do the bare minimum of obeying your orders to return the life debt I owe you, but I want to go out of my way to help you because you are you. No kingly qualifications needed. " |
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Senecio added his sparks to Tide's, making a sparkly trail after their bubble, partly to show off and partly so that the others can see that they decided to go off on their own and won't be worried. Then he just relaxed and enjoyed the ride, feeling like leaving his worries behind.
--- "So you all want a reason why I protected you..." Svarik repeated thoughtfully. "That's hard... Do you think it would be a satisfactory answer that there wasn’t one because I don't need a reason to protect people? I need a very good reason to not protect them... So should I just lie and say the reason was needing new knights? Would that make them feel better?" |
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Tide must have already let Hans know too, and leaving everyone in safe hands, he seemed intoxicated with the feeling of freedom and joy. He glided playfully, but still, he was warming the air around Senecio so he would not catch a cold. Since the demon travelled quickly it did not take them long until they saw Fourth City in the distance, and once they reached it the creature stirred them toward the beach in Southern district that appeared least frequented, so they could enter the city without drawing too much attention right away.
--- '' The problem is... more of a fact you never even tried to negotiate. With Demian Riversong, I mean. Three documents he put before you were basically to allow him to kill us, pass your authority to him for a while so he could make sure we actually die, and publicly condemn Sir Falcon's organisation so he could not interfere. All three conditions were made for the strict purpose of killing us properly, other conditions were just placed to tie your hands to prevent you from stopping his vengeance. Any sane person who does not want to betray his friends in Organisation would negotiate and ask to communicate with Sir Falcon, and have him kill us off in exchange for releasing you unharmed... You could have solved everything by our death, just so. Do you think high military officers like us would not be perplexed? Negotiations.... people always start them by asking for much more than they would settle for, so that you can meet them in the middle, Svarik... " Erdel explained hoarsely, with the same sorrow in his gaze as always when he would dare to address something from that day. " It is just that... all of us believe you made an irrational, foolish choice that harmed you and gained you nothing but the lives of your enemies, a dirt cheap reward if there ever was one, "he cleared his throat, having trouble adding. " So, to justify your choice, isn't it natural for us to desperately struggle to figure out why you would possibly choose so poorly and fear you may have some secretive reasons? Scratch that, no... it was actually easier to cope by hoping you acted out of some kind of concealed self-interest than handle the grief of clear proof both you and the world would be better off if we died... Honestly, we both wanted to make our country a better place, our definition of better included killing you off so the land would not be set back by centuries of puppet kings pressured to slave away commoners by corrupt aristocracy, while your definition of a better country for some strange reason included us, who tried to kill you, staying alive when all saving we gave you is grief. The truth behind your determination to protect us when you actually had very good reasons not to do it is bound to be perceived as unbelievable when first heard, but General kept us on a leash through layers of lies, so however ineffable truth is, it is better. I... it is my personal bias, but I would like them to have a chance to see they are actually helpful to you without having to be sent to wars or be forced to spread death and fear. I think it is fine even if you make it clear you weren't thinking much of it at the time, but that you currently would find of great help for them to draw attention away from sir Falcon and stabilize the country with Simbel, so that you can more safely bring sir Falcon out publicly. It is very clear by the look in your eyes that your desire to have Conrad by your side openly is genuine and deep... Give them a chance to genuinely help you, like you gave me a chance. I would gladly draw all aggression of the public to myself, but if all of us do it results would be much better, "he smiled frailly. " and I want us not to just succeed, but to succeed by a ridiculously high margin... " |
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(Ooc: sorry, I didn’t get the email notification for a post!)
Senecio was familar with the theatres in the city, so he led them to one of the cheaper ones, right after the start of the play. It was some comedy about a servant who got separately hired by two noblemen and tried to hide that he's working for both of them. He bought them places in a lodge in the back and led Tide there, avoiding an employee of the theatre who wanted to show them the place. --- "Yes. Okay. That seems like a good thing for them to do. Let's do that," Svarik said, but he looked a bit uncomfortable, progressively so as Erdel was talking about Demian and he was recalling all details as he tried to think about how he felt about the documents and why he didn't negotiate or do some rhings differently than he did. "For now, can we leave it at that and not talk about Demian anymore, please?" |
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(OOC: No worries, I assumed you were probably swarmed with work and not having time to respond, I know life can be busy, and I also had quite a bit of piled-up commission work to do in the last couple of weeks, and was also doing big cleaning where I cleaned and did double backup of all computer files and programs, which took a big chunk of couple days since my work folders are huge, so I had little free time these days, so without email notifications on the phone, I would probably take a couple of days to notice, too :) I am glad that nothing serious seems to be going on ^^ are you doing well these days? <3 I draw a lot these days and watch a lot of tutorials, but I like seeing some progress and am quite happy slowly getting better, I hope everything is going well in your life too, and that you are having a lot of fun and a good time! no pressure replying if you are swarmed, of course,, hope all is well, and in case not, sending you lots of hugs and good vibess! <3 <3 <3
Everything about the new experience seemed to be magical to Tide, who followed him around as if enchanted. He was at first more tense about going to the theatre properly for the first time, but the skilful way with which Senecio avoided attention seemed to reassure him and make him feel safe and protected from prying gazes. He did not speak, but by the tender and excited way in which the demon clung closely to him, it was obvious that the creature indulged in the feeling of being sheltered, and was much more excited than anxious. Clearly happy that Senecio initiated a date himself, he was full of warm, fuzzy feelings, and in his heart, the outing seemed much more romantic than the actor intended, and even though it was a comedy, Tide held his hand shyly all the time they watched, using the fact that they decided not to do be intimate for a while to instead cuddle to his heart's contentment at actor's side. --- " I see... I... I guess the weight of the guilt I feel colours what I say too much... After all, I feel greatly responsible for your and Sir Falcon's misfortunes. If only you killed us as asked, you would be alright. Riots in the city where Crow Vindonen died would not happen, either, and Sir Falcon would not have to grieve for him and miss him so terribly, either... I normally try my best not to bring you down by it, but I could not let you misunderstand that we vampires had an easy sheltered holiday while you struggled. Among other things, the weight of being powerless to do anything to help you was heart-rending... but it is for me to bear, not you. Would you, perhaps... accept a little palm reading as an apology? "Erdel smiled frailly, as he timidly reached for the edge of Svarik's sleeve and pulled it but slightly, speaking slowly, as if trying to give him something new, instead of dwelling on the crushing weight their past seemed to have on him. " Mole taught me a little bit... I did too many future readings today, so, alas, my amazing future reading strength is mostly spent... but let me just give you one tiny little spoiler for your future. To be honest... there is a little something I wanted to arrange with you, but I kept fearing that you would think I was disrespectful if I offered it. But after seeing how open and straightforward Janus and Senecio are left me humbled. I... all this time I tried to give you a tame and respectful friendship of a repentant sinner, but such friendship is much too superficial and burdensome to maintain, and you deserve better. I... would like to see how offering you a proper friendship, with all that I am, would be. Will you give me your hand, so I can give you a piece of the future I want us to share? " |
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(OOC: Work has also been quite stressful lately as well, there's a lot of teaching and pressure to do research and publish while not having money for the actual research I would like to do and not much time for it either, so it's hard to focus on other things)
Senecio leant on Tide and let Tide's feelings surround and ground him while he was dealing with his own inner turmoil. He didn't follow the plot of the play much, but was taking in the atmosphere, being a part of the audience and letting the story play out in front of him, perceiving it through his new senses for the first time and getting used to it . --- "I thought we already were friends..." Svarik said with a slight confusion and offered his hand with no resistance to the request. |
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( OOC: I see, it is indeed a bad spot to be in, it sounds like a big problem with no easy solutions :( I know it can be hard balancing what you want to do with what is affordable, I also often have problems when picking side work, I know I would earn much more if I did more graphic design commissions, or would go through courses to learn and do UX design, but I just really dislike making apps, so I often have to choose less paid jobs if I want to do illustrations, because most illustration work is less paid than graphic design on the average, so it's always a trade, as whenever I accept jobs I actually love I don't earnt that much, so it's a tradeoff, like in most things :) for now, I am mostly treating it as an opportunity to earn some pocket money aside for books and little things I always wanted, to treat myself and motivate myself to keep drawing every day so I can get more cute little things without touching the main pay, since most of pay from my main work goes for monthly household budget and I buy trinkets for myself from money I earn from side jobs :) so while it doesn't pay as much, currently I am happy that I am able to choose to work on things I like more and use the chance to read and learn as much as I can now that I don't have too big life obligations outside of main daily work :) Your problem is much bigger and harder than mine, and I am sure whatever solution is possible isn't easy, but I hope things will work out, and that you will have good luck to do something you really love soon <3 as I said, no pressure to send messages when you are busy or if you're feeling down, this is something we do for fun, anyway, and it's fine not to force it if you're overwhelmed with other things <3 I just hope you'll be alright, take care of your health, dear, sending you even more hugs and good vibes!
∧,,,∧ ( ̳• · • ̳) / づ♡ --- Just like before, under the sea, despite knowing Senecio is having a lot more turbulent thoughts, Tide could not help but be happy. Even when the writing wouldn't be the best, or the costumes too convincing, the fact he was here with Senecio, and that Senecio wanted to be with him there overshadowed any imperfections of the acting. The play wasn't perfect, but the date was, in his eyes. Instead of trying to tone down his joy, he let it flow freely this time, although shyly, as if he hoped that letting Senecio feel just how happy he was would make up for his inability to be sad with him right now. --- " It is not the same, to be friends with all someone is, or with a polished version of someone. Prim and proper Erdel would not dare offer a person he wants to solemnly serve and respect such a silly little thing as dramatic palm reading. He would always speak politely and not dare say flamboyant things like - behold, you dear, sweet little thing... I see your and Falcon's wedding, and it's so lovely," the demon whispered barely audibly, as he shyly took Svarik's palm into his, and gently traced the lines running across it as if studying them while he spoke. " I can see all your human and Being friends there. It will be a bit hard to decide on the right venue, as Hans has trouble entering the city, and Simbel can't leave it, but whether we help calm Hans, or we manage to find a solution for Simbel's predicament, we will figure out how to all be there... That is all I can guarantee of further future, and as for nearer, there is but one little snippet. Your friend, Erdel, wouldn't have money to buy you a proper wedding gift and that would make him sad. So, instead, he would ask if it would be alright if every time he goes to the sea he dives and picks up a couple of pears to gift to you so that over time they add up to be worth a nice present... but he would be lying if he acted like it is a spur of a moment convenient gift idea. That shameless rascal already picked up the first couple of those intended pearls this morning before he met you or even knew you were dating Sir Falcon, and was plotting to find a good enough excuse so that you won't refuse, " demon with hesitating trembling hand pulled out from his bag couple perfectly round pearls, black, golden, pink, and couple white ones - and slowly put them into Svarik's extended hand, as he explained himself, anxiously observing king's expression. " Real Erdel was for a while worried... since his friend is about as opposite from arrogant rich men as one can be. His friend Svarik says he feels guilty spending money on anything but the kingdom and the only money he does spend somewhat freely is the allowance Sir Falcon gives him. But how is he going to buy gifts for Sir Falcon, then? With sir Falcon's allowance? That just won't do. Digging pears out is easy, Erdel thought, and ever since Senecio gave the idea to him last time he was at the sea, he thought it would be a fun little adventure, to sell some nice pearls to give his favourite human some pocket money that he would be able to spend without any guilt. I can guarantee a prim and proper version of Erdel would never dare offer such outrageous thing as giving allowance to the king... but real Erdel, who yearns to bring you a little bit of joy each time he returns to you from the sea, is shameless bastard, who has such outrageous thoughts. Do you... understand now, the difference between those two versions of me? And... which would you prefer to be friends with? " |
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The performnce ended and Senecio joined the applause, looking around the audience more than at the actors. As he caught Tide's look, he smiled a little. "Let's wait until the pople leave" he whispered and leant back on the chair when the applause ended and the actors left the stage.
--- Svarik chuckled. "The real one. But let's not call it allowance, it feels more like a conspiracy and I'm your accomplice in gifting Falcon something nice. Now do you have any tips about how a knig could sell some pearls withuot raising suspision?" |
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" Of course, let's leave when you feel is best, " Tide agreed. Unlike Senecio, he was watching the leaving actors a little more thoughtfully than before, as he shyly confided. " Oh, and... I am sorry for not being able to laugh at how badly it is written as we planned. I probably don't see things as the writer intended it, but I enjoyed seeing a play from the perspective of a servant who serves two lords at once. Both lords have such a limited understanding of the real situation but have no way of knowing just how little they know... It makes me think just how many things we can't see. Like how you used to worry how long I would keep wanting to date you, and how I was worried of the same about you... Now that I think about it, I never even properly told you why I asked you if you were available, and it's natural you were anxious at first. It's perfectly understandable why you assumed I merely asked just because you were handsome and cool. It was the wrong conclusion and I misled you by accident, by giving you too many compliments about your looks, but it makes sense you couldn't see the full picture because you don't see all that I see, just like I can't see all that you do. There is so much that we can't see that is crystal clear to others, good things, too, not just bad ones... It is such a lovely thought. "
--- " Sure, let's call it our conspiracy fund, then, " Erdel could not help but chuckle, his gaze incredibly soft and brightened as if Svarik's laugh was reassurance he needed above all others. " And do you mean how can you hide selling pearls from the general public, or sir Falcon? As long as you don't go to high-end shops, you don't have to show identity papers, and who would think King would be selling pearls, anyway? You can merely be an eccentric travelling healer selling small gems and little trinkets he got in exchange for healings. But if you ask from sir Falcon, hmm... The key is selling them while he isn't close by, and outside of the capital. And even if he learns you went to a jewellery shop, as long as you develop a habit of buying small cheap trinkets as gifts for orphanage children when you go there, he won't suspect you are selling pearls secretly. And before you ask... " Demon waved away mischievously, as if, indeed, pushing how free he can be with Svarik much further than ever before. " Yes, I am perfectly aware I could sell pearls myself and just give you the money... but cool dramatic Beings trade in meaningful things, you see. What kind of mysterious Being helper would I be if I took the most boring path and did not give you a chance for a hidden quest? Whether Falcon catches us in the end or not, aren't you curious about what kind of silly memories we will make as we bend over backwards to keep it a secret from him? Rather than giving you gold coins directly, I'd like to make a golden memory with you. " |
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"No, it really wasn't a bad play, I must admit," Senecio agreed. "The script is from a famous scriptwriter from some 200 years ago. I wouldn’t be really surprised if it turned out it was actually written by Hans. And yes, no person can see the whole picture, but we often assume we see a bigger part than we actually do." He waited for a while longer until the last people trailed away, and then he got up and led Tide out as well after the rest of the audience left. He walked slowly, tasting the lingering emotions of the people, especially the actors and theatre staff this time, taking in the atmosphere of this particular theatre. "They like doing this play..." he whispered.
--- "Oh I wouldn’t ask for something as boring as money instead of pearls," Svarik chuckled. "If I wanted to be boring, I would just give myself a salary." |
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" I see, " Tide whispered back thoughtfully, and then inquired gently as they were walking through the corridor. " Seine... I don't have the whole picture, but... am I anywhere close to the truth if I say it seems like you are feeling conflicted, seeing people who enjoy making plays, while you are currently struggling to be an actor, even if you loved playing before? That you struggle with what is the right thing to do, since you love acting, but acting is hard right now? If I am anywhere close, I'd like to ask you something, I'm just having a bit hard time formulating it. Let's see... Yes. Have you ever read Choose Your Own Adventure kinds of books, Seine?" he bid quietly. " There is one adventure book I like, where the first choice for the adventuring party is turning right or left... The right path leads to the forest kingdom and the left to the sea kingdom. Both paths lead to two completely different adventures. On the forest adventure, the swordsman in the party kills the dragon and becomes a renowned hero. On the castle path, the archer of the party discovers she is a lost sea kingdom princess and becomes a queen who changes the land for the better with her reforms. If either path is not taken, the other thing does not happen - the knight never gets to become a hero, or the princess never finds out who she is and lives a commoner life. Which path would you choose, if you played? Path of a hero knight who saved one kingdom from danger, or an amazing queen who led the other kingdom to prosperity? "
--- " You are speaking quite confidently as if you wouldn't die of guilt if you gave yourself a salary higher than an apprentice of an apprentice of a shop clerk. You are so bad at practical solutions, " Erdel laughed, with a soft, bright feeling of thankfulness and sentimentality. "Nonetheless, I can never complain of things that only add up to my love for you. To be honest, it'd be easier to serve you if I loved you any less, because I would be better at following orders quietly, but you make it hard for me to want to stay quiet, because I want to do all I can to improve your life. And, vain as I am, to volunteer to be friends with you, despite my lack of qualifications... As a friend, can I ask you for a favour? Try to figure out from Janus if there's any way to help Simbel, and try to convince him to take my nails in exchange for the deal, however much he needs. Honestly, Janus kind of... refused my nails offer, and told me that since I am a child, I shouldn't make hurtful such deals until I am an adult and that we should figure out something else to pay with for Simbel, " the demon revealed a little embarrassedly. " Can I count on you as my fellow conspirator in crimes to convince him to accept my payment in nails? I can feel he has a weak spot for children, but I really don't think I am child enough to not do this. My poor, caught between two fires friend... Will you help me convince him? I just really don't like seeing him starved. It reminds me too much of how Simbel used to be... It's one thing to just know it, another to see it in person... " |
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"Here's the problem," Senecio smiled faintly. "If I played the game and wouldn't know the outcome, I would choose the castle path, because forests are full of dirt and insects. But if I knew the outcome, I would want to get the path with the dragon and hero because becoming royalty isn't my cup of tea. Also, if I played that game, I would totally cheat and peek ahead im the book to see which outcome I want and decide based on that."
--- "I'm not very sure about that, I think that Janus knows a lot more about how Beings work than me, so if he says it'snot safe for you, there might be somethingabout that. We just need to find out if je's saying it only because he sees you as a child, or because of a more serious reason. I can try to convince him or help you find some compromise if it's safe for you." |
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Tide couldn't help but smile, though something in his smile was a little sad.
" Seine... For me, relationships are like choose your own adventure books, where how a bond turns out and feels depends on how two people balance out their agencies, and what they choose as a couple. If our relationship was a storybook that started the day we met, whenever a choice for the next step in our adventure would be made, we would pick choices that would bring us closer to Tide-centered adventure. Very few choices made were ones that could bring us close to Senecio-centered adventure. Some choices we have to make are more obvious, yes... but most of the choices we make as a couple will be ambiguous, and we won't know where they will lead. But there is something I can tell you with certainty. If we keep on this path, you'll keep sacrificing your agency for my sake, instinctively, out of love. Sometimes, choosing one over the other in cases of emergency is understandable, like we had to prioritise decisions around Death's health because he was so ill. But he is stable now, and won't die or recover overnight, but keeps getting better slowly. Tide-centered choice is simple and reasonable - staying at his side all the time and always double-checking him. But objectively, Sage is a better fighter than me, just like Alpha is stronger, so Death is as safe now as one can be, so it's not like I have to always stay glued here. Do you know what that means? It means we no longer have to make Tide-centered adventure choices. Now, a romance story can go either way... But I myself would like us to pick Senecio-centred path this time, " he explained his thoughts, looking at the actor gently from the side as they walked out into the evening streets. " Seine.. I love you, oh, so dearly, over how much you prioritise my happiness and safety. I feel seen, with you. I really needed your support during the whole ordeal with Death... but we picked my paths so often so far. Who knows what kind of future would we have had, had we picked at least one Senecio choice? Think about it. Choosing to sacrifice our short time together so you can prepare as much as you can for play I longed to see, even though you preferred to spend that short time with me, it turned out well because you befriended Hans, but it was still a choice made by my request, and with your heart, you'd have befriended Hans sooner or later, anyway. Always reassuring me first to make sure I feel safe even if you yourself feel hurt or lost. Even the very first night we met - you thought it was your last night on earth, and when you saw I am not interested in a night of pleasure, even if it was your last chance to have fun before dying, instead of trying to see if you can convince me to give you to someone else to guard and get lucky with someone else, for me, a stranger then, you dedicated your last day on earth, comforting me about my fears. At the capital, when you were curious about Simbel's waters, I asked you if it's possible for you to delay figuring out how you feel about them for next time because saving Death who was so close to dying was so important to give our full attention to... But he is saved now, so what next? " he nudged his shoulder softly as he bid. " My Seine, my joy... won't you help me pick a Senecio-centered choice next? I'm curious where it would lead us, to the forest or the castle. While Death is resting and Sage and Alpha look over him, would you like us to regularly take trips around the coast between your rehearsals, so you can recharge? Or would you perhaps like, since travel between the capital will likely become quicker and more frequent, for the two of us to regularly return to the capital between your rehearsals, so you can try what you missed last time, to see how being treated by Simbel would feel and if it would help your conflicted feelings? Those are just some options I was thinking about, but I don't have the whole picture. You can see what I can not. So, Seine - what Senecio-centered choice do you think would feel nice for our next step in our adventure? " --- " That is the compromise I can take, " Erdel agreed readily, with hopeful expression. " If it's absolutely not possible, I can't exactly make him take them... But if it's possible, I'd really like to do it. I know you'll try your best to convince him, and you have good instincts about supernatural things, growing up as a listener and all, so I'm confident you won't give up on convincing Janus before you're sure. I know you're not too keen on seeing anyone hurt, though, so thank you, for following my request despite that. I'll accept any outcome that comes of it without protest, as long as I know you tried your best... " |
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