Senecio adn Tide II

[VisAnastasis]

Eros looked thoughtful with his silence, but maybe because his realm was of feelings and he reflected so many, it was a little hard to read his right now. Mostly there were streaks of concern and compassion.
" If you're not sure you can deal with Tide, " he whispered, trying to inquire. " How about I call Hans? He and Alpha Centauri could bring you back to the mansion first. Hans really only came here today for you, anyway, and Alpha is half there for the entertainment but mostly for Hans, too. I previously hoped you may want to visit Janus at the end of the day, since he feels responsible for what happened, so, if you aren't able to reassure him tonight, I just plead you to not forget it in the morning. I would not dare ask that much of you if I didn't know you both had, hm... high regard for one another. "

[Mirach]

"Is he okay?" Senecio asked wearily. "I fear I can't face his emotions now. I hope it's better tomorrow. Could you explain that to him and reassure him if he's worried? As to Tide... it depends on his emotions too. I'm just exhausted by it all. I need rest before I can face it and try to control it."

[VisAnastasis]

" As for Janus, I can stop by the theatre to talk to him, but we aren't really that close - that is to say, he isn't really too close to anybody. He won't trust me like he trusts you, so you need to make sure to stop by when you can - he isn't good at dealing with guilt and bitterness. I would be sad if you both lose what you could have had over this. " Eros spoke rather regretfully, as if, for someone with lot of insight, he could anticipate possible outcomes all the more attentively. " With Tide, goes the same thing too, I am afraid. I know you are weary, but I fear this may grow a source of misunderstandings if you don't work it through on time. I hate to say these things to you because your weariness and hurt is great, but... This is one if those moments than can shape a future. If you leave this for later, you will be able to rest, but you may lose the chance to let Tide make it up to you, and have both of you grow a little more bitter. You, with lack of support you desired, and him, with not being given a chance to redeem himself... I shouldn't say this, but..  he is ready unhappy that he didn't agree to your request right away, despite he couldn't bring himself to do it at the time. His discomfort didn't change, but his misery is growing. He is greeting his people, but he is unhappy and disappointed inside. He really wanted to sing and play you songs tonight - he wanted to do it for both you and Death tonight, I felt, but he managed neither, and it's eating him... "'

[Mirach]

Senecio sighed in acceptance of not being able to rest yet. "I fear it wouldn't help Janus much to see me like this," he murmured. "I need to get better if I am to dissuade his guilt instead of enhancing it. But if Tide would like to be with me now instead of talking to his people, he's welcome."

[VisAnastasis]

" Sweet little one, life is complicated. It's not that he wants that more than he wants to be with you. It's that he needs to do it, like you needed to finish the performance even though that was killing you. It is in his nature... He will regret not giving words and encouragement to his people after such heavy play, the same as you would deeply regret collapsing before play was done. He can not not acknowledge them when they are there before him. Even if you are miserable, regretful and unhappy in your personal life, does not mean you stop loving people. This... Was very special thing to him, Senecio. It is first time we gathered in such numbers. First time so many of his loved ones were in the same place, " He whispered. " Do you understand what one time means in thousands of years? If no peace comes soon, it can likely be the last time, too... That's why it's likely he wanted to have as many of his loved ones in one place, Senecio. To show you all his love through words and songs... "

[Mirach]

"But you said he's unhappy while greeting his people," Senecio said, confused. "I thought it would help, if we try to sort it out first and he gets to greet them more happily later? I can't go there, can I? It would be intruding..."

[VisAnastasis]

" Yes, it would be better if you sort it out first, as long as he doesn't end up not being able to see them because he chooses to stay with you. I have a feeling he would choose to stay with you but be miserable about not being with others still... Such is our Tide, if he could be at ten places at the same time, he would," Being sighed weakly. " But actually, if you could bring yourself to, wouldn't coming to seek him actually help? The burden falls on me to say, but it looked like you argued somewhat to people watching, in the end, and you are not on good terms right now, so it does spoil Tide's joy of how accepting you were of him at the ball before. It as well doesn't look as good that you came in the room together, and he left alone, while I came in to see you... " Being shrugged shyly and helplessly. " I know today was a hard day for you, but for him, it's been hardship after hardship too. He watched his lover die, he had to do horrible things to resurrect him, then one of the people he most looked forward to bringing here choose to stay away, then he got his best friend disappointed with him, then his boyfriend whom he just got traumatized to save got disappointed in him as well.  " Eros said with a sad voice. " It is a very lonely day, for a Being that looked forward to a party with his loved ones so much... right now, one of his best friends doesn't socialize with his lover, his best friend is distant to him because he is close to his lover, and his lover is disappointed in him. That's just such bad luck... "

[Mirach]

"I see..." Senecio pressed his temples. "But he didn't want me to spy on his talks... Oh," he realized. "But if I join him openly, I won't be spying? I'd just need to stay on my feet. Somehow."

[VisAnastasis]

" You are thinking well. However, there might be... an easier solution to that problem that may actually solve a lot of your concerns, " Eros brought himself to suggest timidly - it seemed he always tried to not steer people in his directions, but somehow often couldn't help himself but try to offer advice. " You can let Tide carry you. He will feel relieved with that reassurance of closeness and will be able to carry you around so you won't have to struggle to stand. Then, you can just lean on him and focus on him - to humans, it will look like you're tired and he's affectionate to you, to Beings, he can explain about your struggle to not perceive feelings, struggle you got from my blood. It is easy to understand, and Beings will then be able to choose themselves what to say and how to act, knowing what you can sense, while in the same time, as you are tired you wouldn't have to interact much.  Even if you fall asleep in Tide's arms, it wouldn't be a big deal then. Hans can follow along too, and help things go quickly or more smoothly. That is what I would have done in your place, but you are the one that can choose your future... "

[Mirach]

"It's one thing when it's for seeing him into the eyes while dancing, but this is another," Senecio said, struggling to his feet. But as he got up, his head spun and he was feeling sick and a bit feverish, his body clearly saying it has had enough. "Uh... I don't feel that well..." he murmured.

[VisAnastasis]

" You have been through a lot. It will be impossible not to feel the weight of it. " Eros whispered to him." I have given you my insight and advice, but it is all up to you now," he told him, as he gently took him under one arm so he would not sway, touch of his fingertips reflecting Hans's gloomy concern and Tide's frail uncertain regret born out of love."  What do you choose to invest in, Senecio? Your body by going to sleep, or your future by going to Tide? "

[Mirach]

"It wouldn't really ease his regret if I collapse on him, would it?" Senecio asked wryly, but he managed to steady himself. "Okay," he took a deep breath. "Cross you fingers that I don't. And please stay here a bit longer if you don't mind. I don't want us to be seen returning together."

[VisAnastasis]

" I can do that if you wish me to. If I feel you are to collapse before reaching Tide, I will follow you, though." Being replied to him quietly, as it watched him intently in the eyes, struggling to put something in words quickly, before Senecio stops listening. " This is a battle important to win, if you don't want Tide's feelings to you to cool down, a little by little. This is start of slippery slope. Senecio, Tide is demisexual. He is only attracted to someone with strong emotional connection, all else are passing crushes, however strong or faint. Anything that can put doubts in that emotional connection is a danger to your desires. You desire to go all the way with him... " He smiled at him softly." He desired to claim you as his own before yourself and the world in every way. Those desires are compatible but not the same. Remember that and do not forget what you are fighting for tonight. "

[Mirach]

Senecio shook his head slightly, unable to untangle the turmoil he felt, still feeling a bit hurt by Tide's behavior earlier. "I can't be the only one fighting, though," he whispered.

[VisAnastasis]

" What he sees as fighting for your hand is different from what you see. He sees it as being affectionate to you in public, protecting you from your enemies, tending to your wounds, encouraging you in your work and hobbies, giving you pleasure, bringing you breakfast in bed, singing you songs... for other things you will have to guide him, for he doesn't have enough experience. But I am not wasting my breath here for my good wishes to him. I am doing it for my hopes for both of you, " Eros replied, and for the first time, Senecio could see a faint hint of frustration in the Being, as it didn't fit refined God of love to have to say something so crude. " I am just saying, simply put - if you do not give him what he craves emotionally, he will never be encouraged enough to go all the way with you. You were almost there with how you made him feel with the dance... but now you are about the farthest. Your expectations of him were too high. You expected him to not be insecure and just act as if nothing is frightening him, and that is not physically possible, " Being was watching at him, with sad compassion. " You signed up for a shy tender Being that tried for tens of thousands of years to find love and was rejected or dumped hundreds of thousands of times. How would you feel with such history? It is honestly a miracle he even brought himself to ask you out. For him, you are so out of his league that asking you out is it for a human to ask a God out. Asking him not to be worried you'd stop liking him is asking inconceivable. If you want an easy conquest, you should pick someone else... "

[Mirach]

Senecio shook his head, getting frustrated as well because not even the Being who understood feelings seemed to understand him. "I didn't mean fighting for my hand... I meant... no, nevermind. It's actually good that you don't understand. This is between us. You just wait here for a while." He squared his shoulders and left the room.

[VisAnastasis]

Being just watched quietly after him, not stopping him.

[Mirach]

Senecio went back to the main hall, overcoming his dizziness. As he was getting closer, the feelings of all the guests got louder and he tried to focus on his own thoughts as Eros advised him, to not let them drown in the cacophony. He stopped at the entrance, looking for Tide.

[VisAnastasis]

It was hard not to notice the Being that was so tall and in a dress. The Being didn't stand tall and proud, though - much like Eros said, Tide seemed grieved when left to his own devices and thoughts. Right now, he was talking with one figure shrouded in dark blue, who seemed to have a humanoid face, but for some reason, whether one would look at it, he'd not be able to recall its features, other than bluish skin and dark blue hair. He spoke to it casually as if it wasn't anything unusual to it, and he seemed to be speaking something encouraging to it - and Senecio could see his words of advice were from the heart, but likewise, that his own feelings were in disarray, and it could be felt in absence of bright and cheerful manner demon usually spoke with. Instead, his voice was quiet and faint, his words slurred and shoulders slopped. Despite his face was not visible, his Beings, loyal to him, were able to sense the change, and among them, there was a noticeable change in the atmosphere of the room, as, while placated after comforted by him, they were worried for him instead.
They would come to give him a word or two, or bring him drink or a sweet to cheer him up, but none of it seemed to be changing anything. Right at that time, a little wolflike Spirit child came and offered him a cookie, and Tide thanked him gently and ate, but there was no joy of eating it. Sulking wouldn't be the right word to describe it - he just had no mental power to deceive so many people, and he could not deceive his people of his mood no matter how hard he tried. Only time Senecio saw him lifeless like that was when they argued about the gift that one time, and Tide spent the whole night stress-eating. He moved but he had the gestures of someone who is fighting a battle against his own mind to continue moving around - which seemed to be true, judging by the numb distant way his body reacted to orders of its mind, mind that in the same time wanted to be there for his people, but deeply desired to leave and not have to see anyone anymore.

[Mirach]

Senecio watched him for a moment, and then wrestled against the weariness, pushing it down where it wouldn't show so much. He smiled and approached Tide, taking his hand. "I'm back now... really needed the break. Did I miss something, except you?"

[VisAnastasis]

Tide seemed so lost into his own thoughts that he didn't notice him until the very last moment. When the actor took his hand, it seemed he was shaken, momentarily lost for words. Then, through apathy there was overflowing guilt and shame as if he was caught in something he shouldn't have been doing - it seemed Tide only gave himself the freedom to feel unhappy since Senecio wasn't there to be distressed about it. Now that actor unexpectedly came, he was at a loss what to do, and struggled to conceal emotions he knew he couldn't, feeling all the more unsure with it.
" I... I didn't expect you... Senecio. I thought you said... " he finally managed a reply, quiet and faint, as if it barely managed to pass a long way from his throat to his lips, despite best efforts to have casual tone, failing quite clearly to hide the sadness. " That you got all you wanted from the ball. And that you don't... see the a-appeal in coming back to it... "

[Mirach]

"I didn't say that. That's how you understood it? I'm sorry... That role just took a lot from me and I'm so tired I feel I can't stay much longer. But I'd like to enjoy it just a bit more before I'll have to leave. I really wanted to hear you sing at least once."

[VisAnastasis]

That already was way too suspicious, way too different from their private talk, especially since it was worded like an excuse before the crowd omitting the near-death experience and everything else, in one way, and in the other, saying how much he suddenly wanted to hear Tide sing was way too convenient for Tide to believe actor would just suddenly wish that after their last talk and how they parted, and the discrepancy stung. For the first time, despite not seeing his face under the mask, Senecio felt a sudden disappointment wash over Tide - and then, the helpless anger. He pressed actor's hand, and leaned his head to whispered something to his ear, that to others must have looked like stolen lover's moment, but was definitely not so for the actor, who could feel the coldness as if the frost gathered where Tide was touching him.

" S-say, Senecio di Parvaio, " demon addressed him formally, in a voice that gave actor chills - a voice that for the first time fit his terrifying eyes, and the title of the Demon King. " You wouldn't... happen to be lying to my face just after you promised you will always be truthful to me just to not look bad in front of the crowd, would you? Just so you know, if Eros put you up to this, but you acted like you were the one that always planned to come, I would be very angry... I came here with my boyfriend who is unwell and mad with me and whom I wish to support, not with a carefree nonchalant showman that acts like nothing happened. I am giving you exactly three seconds to go back to being my boyfriend... " he told him coldly. " Or I won't speak to you, mister Performer. If you came as performer and not as my boyfriend, you can leave. Performances are for plays, not for this... "

[Mirach]

Those words stung Senecio despite understanding where they are coming from. "Of course I won't speak openly before others," he whispered. "I'm speaking the truth filtered through what I can say publicaly. Want to sit down for a while to get the full version?"

[VisAnastasis]

Tide's feelings were unveavering, now mixed with frustration.
" This isn't a little white lie. It's a big one. If you won't say the truth, then say nothing. Nothing and an invitation to privacy I can accept. But not  a lie like this. " he whispered, his voice not as cold with actor's admission, but not warm, either, as he continued firmly. " This Being beside me is personification of sea. You think I would not tell it that my boyfriend got poisoned today and is struggling with new ability born of Eros's blood and it should watch over him? In fact, I told that to every single Being I spoke to so far. I am a King of Beings, not a King of Lies. You yourself told me if I fear you will infringe privacy of others, than I should tell them of your new power. " Through the anger, despite trying to stay strict, actor felt sharp pain and loneliness in his voice" I... Wanted to make sure all than you won't mind, Beings who are loyal to me, will know of your ability and situation, so you won't feel like you are spying on people as much, when sone of them will already know . And you return my efforts with replying to my insecure question... With such performance?"