Senecio adn Tide II

[Mirach]

"And we're still going to spend a lot of money today and get everything we want," Senecio said. "This is just... something for the future, years or decades, as you would like. I just wanted to ask him for it because, if I understand the character right, if he stays here, he would want to do it anyway. Seeing you, there's no way he wouldn’t want to meddle. And you wouldn't accept, because it would feel like charity and power imbalance if you allow it. But if I demand it, you're the one showing your good will to him if you allow it, on your own terms. I would be careful in formulating the demand so that it doesn't hurt him if you decide you don’t want it, of course. You can see it as buying you a medicine. It's bitter, but it's yours and you can use it whenever you decide you want to, or never."

[VisAnastasis]

Spirit focused on Senecio's words, digesting them slowly as he spoke, now, that the first shock of the idea passed, being able to comprehend his request more clearly. Still, it seemed he was only able to focus on it and avoid nausea because he forced himself to think about the theoretical side of it, and did all he could not to be swapped away in thoughts of how it would feel to do it.

" It... is true that I... don't want to be treated by him. I hate... when people look at me and... just keep thinking that I am broken and should be fixed. I hate... when people are all sad and worried about my condition... Most of the time, it's not that bad... I can live a perfectly normal human life. I hate that everyone is treating my current life as merely something to overcome. Something to get better from, not something valid on its own. " he spoke quietly. " To be honest, practically... it would feel less like charity if it was something, regardless of our feelings, that we had to try because you asked us to fulfil your wish. Even if I dislike it, it's not to the point of anger, but... In practice, even if I were to agree in theory, I am not sure I won't disappoint you, " he spoke with a collected and faint, sad voice, as he continued, with a lingering feeling of ache and hopelessness. " It is just... you need to put a lot of faith in a person handling your soul. And... I trust Tide extremely so. I really do. Yet... even when it's him, it... doesn't make a difference. Whoever it is, it just... it brings me back to that time. It's like no day has passed at all, " he whispered, with a spike of guilt holding him down, as he felt shitty that he could not respond differently not even to Tide, whom he loved so dearly. " It just... feels so violating and vivid before my eyes. Whatever we tried, it leaves me worse of than before we started. True,  I don't know the extent of Death's power, and if he would potentially be able to do anything differently... but you do understand, don't you? Why it just feels like... " he could not find proper words at all, to explain this feeling of hollowness, so he settled for next one. " It feels like a waste of time, and my well being, to keep trying things, when I can just focus on painless, human life like so far... "

[Mirach]

"That's an option too," Senecio said. "But he will pester you about it if we don't make the deal. But if I put it in a way that you have to initiate anything of that sort, and he has to oblige you if, and only if you do, his stay here might be more bearable, I suppose. He would have to earn the trust first, too. And on the other side, if you decide it may be worth a try, it would be a final one. There's no better healer, he is THE Healer. So if it doesn't work, you can focus on the human life fully, without bothering with more tries and wondering what if."

[VisAnastasis]

Hans didn't respond right away, like before, taking a moment to digest what Senecio spoke of. On the surface, he looked calmer, but on the inside, he fought an exhausting battle between suffocating dread and shrivelling hope.

" It... is true that after that point, there is no reason left to wonder. If neither Tide neither Death can do it... Tide will still keep worrying about it, but... I could at least think less of it... knowing it's just something unchangeable, " he whispered. " I really... don't want his pity, too. All this pity of so many people lied down on me... it's terribly burdensome. I can't breathe under it. But... I guess his pity is unavoidable, anyway, if he stays living here. It's not like he can see the world differently than he sees it already... Just... I think it's a really bad idea, to leave it up to me to initiate things, " he admitted with a grin that held a little guilt, but also a streak of embarrassment with the fact. " You... are right about my pride. I'd really feel pitiful and desperate initiating anything, even with favour. And... I know my sense of dread. I just try to push back and ignore unpleasant things. Deep down, even if I gathered the courage to hope to try, I could not bring myself to ask him... So... Well, he is the healer. If... " he gathered all his courage, barely scraped by with all his might, to manage to say instead. " If he inquires from time to time if I'm feeling up to it... As long as I can say no, I might say yes sometimes, too. When... When I think about it, it must be really unpleasant for a healer, just like it is for Tide... seeing me, and forcing himself to never ask anything. That can't be good for his well being, either, " he forced himself to stutter, with a frail smile. " Since the world goes corrupted if he does, we can't just ignore his mental state all the time, I mean... "

[Mirach]

"Right," Senecio smiled a little. "If you are fine with that, it would work best that way. But only when he gets your trust does he earn the right to ask, agreed?"

[VisAnastasis]

" Earning trust... is a little abstract concept. There are different levels of trust, anyway. There is a vague general trust I feel in meadow king's righteousness and gentle character... and there is this unreasonable, satisfied smug trust I feel in your lack of good judgement in choosing whom you care for, " Hans teased a little, clearly speaking of himself in that category too. "  Earning trust is too vague... Rather... Perhaps... Putting an effort. And I don't mean just on me. He should... put an effort to get along and not endanger or hurt people he interacts with here. Especially Tide. Tide is risking a lot by protecting him. The situation has changed. At this point, he's basically sheltering him from both his people and Spirit realm. Spirit realm doesn't know where he is yet, but we won't be able to hide him forever, and when push comes to show, he must not escape or go back to Spirit realm's side, or leave us to our own devices and hide in a hole somewhere. He should stay at Tide's side and cooperate with him to keep calming our people so that he can stay with us. I can't think of my situation in a vacuum, " Hans whispered, with a little firmer voice. " It's just that, as long as I keep thinking he is a weak link that can break the chain we built so hard for so long, I won't be able to relax with him. I know it's too much to ask a former Spirit King to join our kingdom fully, but I can't feel about him as someone that cares about us as people, rather than patients unless he can prove to me that he won't betray us and leave if things get dire. That is the kind of reassurance that I must have... "

[Mirach]

"Okay, that's a perfect definition of what he has to do to earn the right to ask you about anything healing related. So you agree with me making that deal?" Senecio asked.

[VisAnastasis]

" We can maybe discuss it if needs arise, but unless he proves to me that he won't betray us, he can't do anything to me, yes. " Hans nodded lightly, but then, he finally looked up from the soothing flowers to Senecio, a little shyly, but at last with a little more playful note in his faint voice, a note of cunningness more fit for him. " That takes care of what would need to happen for him to act on that deal with you. But how about you? I'm willing to try something I find horrifying that I'd never try otherwise because you asked me to, " he grinned a little, with gentle fondness. " Shouldn't you make a deal with me and bribe me with something, to make it worth my while to accept such disturbing gruesome ordeal? "

[Mirach]

Senecio grinned. "You are right. What if I offer you a favour, as a ruse to keep you close?"

[VisAnastasis]

Being liked the way he responded to him, and his heart fluttered, with a brighter, trustful feeling of obvious affection.
" Hmmm... Not a bad idea. But I already know what I want you to do me as a favour, though. Aren't you curious to know? " he tempted him, with a soft look. " It is something I want you to do for me in the future and is in itself a ruse to keep you close, too. Wouldn't it be better if you know in advance? " he asked, just a touch shyly for some reason. " So when the time comes, you'll not be surprised and just take it in a stride, as you do with everything. Since you asked for a huge thing from me, I'm going to ask for a big thing from you, too, you see... "

[Mirach]

"Oh, okay then if you already know. I wanted to avoid having to think of something, am running a bit low on inspiration what to offer," Senecio winked. "So what is it?"

[VisAnastasis]

" I need to go in a roundabout way about asking it, as theatrics demand, " Hans replied with a light wave of the hand, growing a little more expressive in his gestures now that he was getting back to his usual self, although still with a bit of timidness for some reason. " Alright, so first thing first, I must take note of your current situation. Since you have good relations with both me and Tide, it is highly unlikely that you'd come to harm from Beings. Even more so, a lot of our Beings, I predict, will like you for your personality, and even if we come in conflict with the Spirit realm officially, enemy Beings will hesitate to hurt you as Tide's partner, after what happened with the Queen of the last Demon King. But humans are different. No matter how much we put to knowledge that I and Tide care for you and they shouldn't seek to do you harm, they are like vultures and keep thinking you'll eventually fall out of our favour, so that it's safe to try their luck... On the outside, you are Tide's boyfriend and my friend, but that is only a temporary status. Di Parvaio wasn't an official old noble house, even if name is pretty, the title that came with the name was bought and short-lived. At best it would be counted as a fallen noble house. It doesn't make people shy away from hurting you properly. Without big wealth to your name and an fearsome enough noble title, it won't look like we are all close on equal level enough to protect you. It will merely look to people like we are being friendly with an interesting commoner... As long as you're a commoner of low wealth and status, you'll just be in their eyes someone who we are entertained with, not someone they should be careful what they do or say to... "

[Mirach]

Senecio's eyebrows climbed so high they looked like trying to escape and hide in his hair. "You want me to get a noble title?" 

[VisAnastasis]

" You are inching closer, but not exactly on point, " Hans explained. " We could easily either get Svarik to give you a title or I can go through official channels and buy you a noble title, but that's not enough. A new noble house, without power, even if I add some symbolic wealth to you, it won't look serious if you don't get some level of independence and prove formidable. Usually, people that buy noble titles are rich merchants that are already formidable enough on their own, you see. But you would still need to gather your power. It would take you too much energy, you would have to spend a lot of time buying political points, and it would overall decrease your quality of life and freedom. We need an option that would get you a formidable position, that doesn't require a huge amount of personal sacrifice and time. Something you would get by easier means, without having to establish your own house and work a lot on it. "

[Mirach]

"I see... Or it seems to me at least, that you're talking either of marriage or adoption. And since Tide is led as a commoner in human papers, as you said, it would be the second one. Both you and Sage are officially nobles, but there's no way I would be accepted into Sage's family or want to, so that leaves you. Am I correct?"

[VisAnastasis]

Hans was flustered, a little relieved that Senecio figured it out on his own, but tense still. He was rubbing his wrists lightly like always when he was rather nervous.
"Eldergod house is considered peculiar but highly respected for its wealth and political power. Since I am seen as a long-living human, and no human knows exactly how long I will *live*, I often have inquiries, if I'm planning to adopt someone to continue my line when I die. Rich noblemen without children often adopt someone they deem honourable to continue their line. I often find those inquiries funny, since I know I am an immortal, but... wouldn't it seem like things took a natural course? Like I, Hans Llyr Eldergod, found a human I found fitting to make my heir since I am childless? " he asked quietly. " An heir of one of the wealthiest houses in the land, wouldn't it be much better than a commoner? I know Eldergod may sound more embarrassing for a human, and it's a lot to ask from you... You're lived as Senecio di Parvaio your whole life, after all. But since we'd be remaking your birth record officially, you could even change your name, if not last name, and you have a chance to pick yourself a middle name, like all high nobles. I asked Tide for advice the day of the play, and he told me that since you're fearless, he think calling you a *dragon*, Miru, on Spirit language would be fitting for you, or *innocent,* Sein, since, umm, there is a cute innocence about you. So, you can Senecio Miru Eldergod, Senecio Sein Eldergod, or maybe Sein Miru Eldergod, if you feel like it...? As an example, I mean... it's just some of the options I considered, " he said a little embarrassingly, but with earnestness behind the comments. " Since it's... traditionally the parents that pick their children's names on adoption, I mean... "

[Mirach]

Senecio groaned. "Yeah, this is awkward. No, not Sein Miru. And just to note, I'm fine with all the rest of the business: adoption, nobleman, Eldergod, why not... But not Sein Miru. Tide kind of... already used that name, and it's private, okay? It's for a character, and I would feel really awkward using it publically. I would rather keep my name, if it's okay. I'm known by that name as an actor, and I worked hard to build it, even if it's not noble anymore. Senecio di Parvaio Eldergod?"

[VisAnastasis]

Hans tensed when Senecio groaned, as on the surface, it looked like a response of rejection. Even with the explanation, it seemed there were too many mixed signals, and Spirit felt flustered, getting unsure.

" How... H-how was I supposed to know Tide already used it for something? I've only asked him this that day, before the play, and I have been sleeping all this time. It's not my fault his name suggestions sound really sweet, " he stuttered, as if not really sure how to respond to Senecio's reaction. "As I said, the name isn't a problem, I was just trying to gather some inspiration for names I thought you may like. I mean, I am not asking if you're just, like... fine with it. It's not like asking you if you'd like a slice of cake for you to say, why not... I am asking you to be my only son and heir, Senecio di Parvaio. It's not a... a... " he frowned dejectedly when repeating a word Senecio used. " Business to me... "

[Mirach]

"Oh Tide..." Senecio murmured with a suppressed apologetic smile. "I need to explain that, don't I? Oh god, I'm really going to explain that... Okay, I didn't mean business like transaction. Just like... things, connected with other things. And you really have Tide to blame for that when you ask me about becoming your only son and heir, it comes with the image of introducing myself as a little slave who passed the test to become a concubine of a fearsome and terribly hot King of Beasts. Sorry... I really have to get rid of that idea to be able to process it with the seriousness it deserves, but telling you about it really isn't helping..."  

[VisAnastasis]

" So... Hmm... If I am getting this right... That bastard Tide just couldn't keep himself from robbing me of my favourite name suggestions... because he felt like using them in foreplay? " Hans blinked away, finally getting the reason Senecio reacted so strangely, calming down a little, but still trying to grasp it fully. " Why are you acting like the information of Tide's totally severe betrayal of impatience should, like... be a problem for our *business*?" he couldn't help to be a little bit bemused by the absurd situation. " Is it, like, your first time so far acting as a slave with Tide? With how handy you are with each other, I'd assume you'd have passed through all variations of the trope, from being a slave to handsome but defiant war prisoner. I can imagine a whole set of fitting roles, and as a writer, if you're lacking imagination at the moment, I can make you a list of suggestions. Should I pretend to me, like... flustered? I am assuming you're having a great time, Tide's stealing of great names aside. I would find it no big deal if you would call yourself by a sweet name from a role you guys picked. Tide did steal my thunder, but names are important for Beings. We don't give them lightly. Beast King did not give you that name, but Tide, after all, and we don't give others names we don't mean for them. "

[Mirach]

"Yes, but I have plans with this character and I'd like to keep him separate from anything that gets public," Senecio murmured. "Let's put names aside for a moment, yes? We can decide about that later. But I'll gladly be your heir, especially since you're actually immortal and won't leave me as some responsible head of a noble family. And just so you know, it was a first time role. We didn't have much time to explore more roles yet..."

[VisAnastasis]

" Alright, you and Tide the Namestealer can keep that one. It's not like I would keep insisting and act like the name was the most important thing I was excited about this. I mean, *I* am more of a Hans the Wellwisher. I am just saying I don't find anything embarrassing to know about it and even if not in public, I hope you won't mind telling me as a person about it, " Hans smiled faintly, waving away as if it was not a big deal, but speaking with a level of vulnerability. " I mean, after all, I am going for a concept of a cool dad that is generous, fun to be around, and super supportive of his son's love life, but I don't really feel cool right now... When I imagined offering this to you, I did not exactly imagine that one of the first pluses you come up with would be that it's cool that I'm immortal and you won't have to take over my business after I die... I mean... It's a stretch, but thanks for being glad I won't die on you... I guess? "

[Mirach]

Senecio smiled apologetically. "Well the responsibility is the greatest minus of being a nobleman to me. And you know what will be fun as well? When we get married with Tide once, and you will be his father-in-law. Actually, it will be funny in general, because from Being point of view, I would be a random human marrying a king, while from the human point of view, he would be a commoner marrying a noble heir. I'm really sorry I'm unable to take it more seriously with ideas like that... I mean, you already adopted me, and that was a big deal to me. This is more of an affirmation of it for the title and appearances, isn't it?" 

[VisAnastasis]

" Well, crudely put, yes. And of course, it was a big deal for me, when I adopted you... but it was in a Being way. Meaning to me as a person, but as far as humans consider it, it is something consequence-free. For all Beings that see you, no paper saying I adopted you would matter, only the ritual we shared, but for humans, that ritual means nothing. Humans will merely see us as rather good friends at best. For Beings, the ritual means going all the way to love someone, for humans, adopting someone into your family. For Beings, the fact they will see us as related is my proclamation to the world that I see you as family. Adopting you as my heir is a human equivalent to it. It is my proclamation to all humans, that I hold you dear enough to give you my last name and make everything that's mine yours, " he looked down at the violets, a little sheepish with such bold proclamation, as he didn't feel it was taken seriously and felt embarrassed for it. " I am sorry... I guess I was just a little too excited. This is my first time adopting anyone, too, in a human way, and I never had children of my own, either. It is... a silly self indulgence, but I really like you and... I thought I would feel rather proud, when people would ask who you are to me, that I could say that... that you are my kid. I am sorry for overeacting, really, you shouldn't feel bad about it. I understand my way of phrasing it as practical solution to a problem of your safety may have been misleading...  "

[Mirach]

"No, no, it wasn't, just... I'm not good in reacting to something like that. Joking feels safest, I'm sorry for that..." He sat down next to Hans, biting his lip. "You know how was my relationship to my father. Actually having another try at it, and belonging somewhere even before law is a bit too much to take in..."