Senecio adn Tide II

[VisAnastasis]

" I... see... I am... sorry, for not thinking about it in that way. I did not really... evaluate too highly, my ability to give you comfort. My skill to soothe is amateurish at best, at least emotionally - I mostly soothe people by giving them chances to lead better lives and get out of whatever  unsafe or scary life circumstances they are in, not by doing warm things of comfort like you. I was just volunteering myself to soothe you while you were unwell because I worried for you so deeply and wanted to do all I could to help, and you did not exactly have anyone else who you were comfortable enough with, so I decided I was best fit for the job... not because I thought highly of my comforting skills. I only counted my sincere efforts will provide comfort, while well aware, with my stoic and stern nature, that actual quality of my comfort isn't all that great, " Conrad's pupils shook, with both words and the gesture. It seemed even the smallest signs of affection and acceptance swayed him greatly, to be more open, to give this a try. He hesitantly lowered himself to bed, turning towards Meadow King, not sure what to do, first reaching for a hand on his shoulder, and pressing it shyly. " I... really love... when Melody asks me to brush her hair or snuggle up to me in bed when I tell you stories, and I love, how unrestrained and close what we have feels, in all your gestures towards me... When I can trick myself with a goal, like doing Melody's hair very well for her, or comforting you to the best of my ability, I can draw strength from determination to do a good job, and feel free to enjoy the task as I do it. But, when the goalpost moves... when the goal just becomes - do something that makes me happy... " his voice trembled slightly, as he shyly brought Svarik's hand that he was holding up to his lips, and kissed it gently, looking up slightly to see if it is alright. " My mind goes blank, and I can not form proper clear thoughts or steps in a plan. My legs turn to lead, and suddenly, I become self-conscious of everything I do, and every move I make. I forget how to breathe, and my tongue gets twisted. I am hopeless when goal stops being to do accomplish a task and find a way to do it as well as possible... I am hopeless, when you remove the element of efficiency... "

[Mirach]

"The goal is to make both of us happy," Svarik said and put his finger to Conrad's lips. "So hush now, stop overthinking it before I fall asleep without getting a chance to cuddle with you." He curled on his side, leaning closely against Conrad's body. He relaxed in that position, warm and comfortable and rather tired after the eventful day.

[VisAnastasis]

Svarik taking initiative felt encouraging, helping man figure out what to do better than words could. Though he was timid about it, he curled against Svarik, embracing him from the side, and carefully covering up his back and shoulders with a blanket as he did so, tucking him in so he wouldn't be cold. All the time, he carefully would glance at him, to make sure the man was comfortable. Once he did so, he relaxed at last, some pressure from fear of not doing well slowly dissipating. There was a warm, thoughtful air around him, as if he pondered about Svarik's words intently, of goal being to make both of them happy. He didn't want to keep him awake any longer, by either word of insecurity, or praise or poetry - but it seemed he was too awake and too full of hopeful tender feelings not to give them some outlet. As he held him closely, he began humming a soft, lullaby sound, quiet, and soothing, clumsy, but overflowing with sincerity. It seemed that for Conrad, taking the initiative to tuck him in and lull him to sleep without being asked to was a way he was choosing to do what made him happy within Svarik's request for cuddling.

[Mirach]

Svarik smiled and just lay with his eyes closed, perceiving the melody and the closeness. He did not fight sleep, but didn't try for it either, staying in the drowsy state between where he didn't think but could enjoy the sensations for as long as he could, until he gradually slipped into sleep.

[VisAnastasis]

Conrad was too well rested in recent days since he no longer had to spend huge amounts of days and nights working and running up and down throughout the city, so it took him a while to fall asleep, excitement and not helping it.

Still, because he was so overwhelmed with too many feelings, and because tomorrow was such an important day of returning back home and figuring out so many things, he couldn't sleep too long, either. By the time Svarik woke up, he noticed the man was already awake, but he didn't move, still holding him like when they fell asleep. He was raised a little higher on the bed, though, and Svarik felt Melody, in her girl form that felt more like her casual pick for sleeping in, was snuggled up next to them under numerous soft blankets, awake as well. It seemed girl was holding a book from the side, and turning pages for Conrad, who was reading over the shoulder, and it seemed they were using free hands to make comments on what they were reading in sign language, so they wouldn't wake Svarik up by taking out loud.

[Mirach]

Svarik opened his eyes and took a moment to figure out what's going on. "Good morning," he said softly, and then looked at Conrad with concern. "Did you sleep at all?"

[VisAnastasis]

Conrad indeed looked a little sleep deprived, his eyelids a little heavy. But his thoughtful expression immediately turned into a smile when Svarik looked up at him and asked him.
" I must admit... my thoughts might have been too busy, buzzing like a song of thousands of bees... But you don't have to feel bad for me. Bee songs can be frightening, but they are quite lovely in their own right. Most of those thoughts were warm, and not sleeping because you are too happy isn't an ill thing," he whispered, and shyly, since he was close enough to do it, he leaned a bit and laid a light kiss on Svarik's forehead." Good morning, my Sun... I hope we didn't wake you up... "
" We tried to be as quiet as we could, Mister Sunshine," Melody called him by her favourite nickname for him affectionately." But since you are a Listener, too, I guess we weren't quiet enough... Was I turning the pages too loudly?"

[Mirach]

"I don't know if you woke me or I woke myself, but I feel rested, so it doesn't matter," Svarik said. "Should we get some breakfast into the room?"

[VisAnastasis]

" We should be able to, as long as it's made. I got a general outline of how room service works from Hans yesterday while you talked with Erdel on the boat, along with some other general information. We just need to know what is made to make it appear, there's a set menu of what is always there on specific days, but we can also make guesses and pick some of the extra foods that are usually made daily, as anything that's excess is donated in the evening. It's apparently a system made to allow visiting Beings, and Tide, to always have something different to snack on, " Conrad explained, adding shyly" Would you... like to eat and read with us? If you'd rather do something else, me and Melody can leave reading for some times later... "
" Would you like to read with us, Mister Sunshine? " Melody chipped in excitedly. " We raided Hans's rare history book corner, we got lots of historical clothing books. Birdie had an idea of doing research to design us new shoes, and I am helping him! We have five books, we are about halfway through first. "

" I am not doing anything big behind your back this time, 8I was planning on being transparent from the start, " Falcon coughed embarrassedly, timidly brushing up Svarik's hair that got tangled up with sleeping. " I am just first doing starting research, for historical references. I was thinking about lot of things you said yesterday... Upon reflection, I realized I often viewed you through bias of my noble upbringing, and for a lot of things, I would have mindset of - he isn't used to the prim and proper way to do things yet, but he will get used to it with time if we keep doing it... While some things are natural, like learning things you need to learn to understand what we are doing In court, you don't need to sacrifice things that make you happy for the sake of being seen as regal and civilised. My only requirement is safety, so, as long as we can assure your safety, I will figure out how to help you sleep in the open sometimes when you feet craving for it, our gardens should be safe enough for some nice night outings at summer. But bigger problems is the matter... of shoes, " he exclaimed, very seriously, as if he had something he thought lot about throughout the night. " On the one hand, I don't think it would be much trouble to let you walk barefoot in our gardens in your free time, but we will spend a lot of time working in official settings in the future. When I think about it, I don't want you to be uncomfortable with hours to no end as we work when all you do is sit and don't really need sturdy footwear for that, but I can't exactly let you go barefoot in a council meeting. Rumours would spread, and those bastard nobles would use it as propaganda to paint you as a country bumpkin, and you'd have trouble getting things done, as they would question your credibility and keep nagging about your humble peasant origins... But you don't necessarily have to go in heavy regal booths like so far, either. I will no longer push you into a tiny box of a proper prim noble... I was too strict with you on all possible points, instead of just being strict on matter of knowledge, so other than knowledge, I will reflect on how I can loosen up the restrictions, so you can exist more freely, as you should. We are currently searching for historical references to gather inspiration, so we can come up with the design of shoes with extra thin soles and as bare feet as possible, where you can stretch your toes comfortably -  shoes that can barely pass as shoes on technicality, but can look dazzling enough so that people will envy your fashion sense and think of you less as a peasant, and more as a fairy tale prince type of way, instead of looking down on you and making your life difficult. "

" In short, as long as we make them extremely expensive and pretty looking, nobility won't be able to nitpick about it, if it feels like a new fashion, not just an excuse to be more comfortable, " Melody chipped in brightly, seeming quite entertained by the sweet idea Conrad had. " I also love to go barefoot, so Birdie promised that once we all decide on the designs, he'll make a couple of nice pairs for both of us! Isn't that lovely? We are trying to search for options that would look good for both men and ladies, so we can match. Wouldn't you like to match with me, my Sun? "

[Mirach]

Svarik smiled fondly. "That's a great idea! I would never think of that, I would just accept that shoes are an annoyance that I have to deal with if I want to betaken seriously as a king... This would be so much better! I certainly will have a look at the book with you over breakfast. I'm sure Alpha will be able to give us ideas if we ask him about it, too. It's not a priority right now, though. Did Conrad tell you about our plans for today?  We are going home for a short time, to take care of a couple of things. Will you come with us? We will get back soon, so you can also stay here if you want. But before that we're invited to a birthday party, so we need to buy some presnts."

[VisAnastasis]

" Oh, yes. I'd love to join you for the birthday party, I don't count we would succeed in getting them to play, but with two people coaxing them and playing some nice music, our chances are better, and we can at least get them to relax a little, so I'd love to join you, my little Sun, " Melody nodded. " And Birdie told me about the trip back. I think I should accompany you as well, if it's alright with you -  I am a healer of souls as well, after all, and I want to help. "

" Yes, I told her about our plans right away, " Falcon reassured him. " We just had the time as we waited for you, and I thought it wouldn't be that bad if we did some research beforehand, to know what we want to coax from Alpha, even if we may not manage to do it today. In general, southern country parts with hot days have more lenient shoe customs, and historically, when our capital was warm under White Gardener's influence, there was no need for always wearing closed shoes, either - so now, that capital has Simbel, we should be able to set precedent more easily, as it's warm enough for it to seem reasonable alternative. But proper research must be done, as we can't overlook the wisdom of the predecessors, and design from scratch only to realize it's not functional enough. We need it to be lasting and functional, so loose and comfortable that you can barely feel the difference between walking barefoot and with shoes. But we also can't have simple or poorer-looking shoes, as the damn vultures will gather up and bring you down for it. They have to look like a power move, instead of a matter of convenience. Making them envious instead of scornful would be ideal, so that it starts a fashion, and you and Melody don't feel lonely, as only one that wear such things back home, " Man listed out his strict requirements, while timidly playing with locks of Svarik's hair. " For both you and Melody... in retrospect, I was nagging you too much, always to wear booths, to dress well, to watch where you step so you don't walk into something sharp... My anxieties are understandable, but you are critters that thrive on connection with the land, and I can't force you to quit what makes you happy just for the sake of caution. Especially not now, that the capital is so warm, the dangers of catching a cold are much smaller, compared to harsher weather before we had Simbel. My only bar is reasonable safety. As long as you are safe, I want to find ways to give you what you love having, without you having to change who you really are, and tailoring your whole life to what noblewoman, or king, ought to act like... "

[Mirach]

"And it's appreciated," Svarik smiled. "But let's order some breakfast first. Do you think they have pancakes?"

---

Senecio was still asleep in the softness of the blanket fort, although the rehearsal was starting in an hour.

[VisAnastasis]

" I briefly passed through the latest updated daily menu list yesterday, yes, there are pancakes every day, starting from 7 in the morning, so pancakes sound good. Fillings available depend on the day and how many Beings come to chip in, as some seem to be quite glutinous. But there should be plenty of choices, as Hans stocked up greatly on everything in anticipation of a lot of guests in the next weeks, " Falcon explained, sounding quite content that he could give useful information. Indeed, as they ordered, they could see the system was such that the pancakes were very warm, and there was a wide assortment of honey and jams they could easily guess, without having to go there to see in person.

---

Hans also, finally relaxing deeply after an outburst of bright feelings, was sleeping more soundly than ever. It left Tide in a bit of a predicament, though, as he knew they needed time to prepare for rehearsal, but he didn't want to wake them too soon. After considering it, he decided it might be better to give them less time to prepare, and less time for Senecio to panic about it, so he decided to wake the two of them only half an hour before rehearsal was to start, nudging both of them and calling out to them gently.

[Mirach]

Svarik asked for fruit and whipped cream with his pancakes, and got a lot of different fruits cut into pieces. "So, do you know where we can find Alpha?" he asked when they have eaten. "I think it would be talk to him first before we go shopping for the birthday presents."

---

Senecio woke as soon as Tide touched him, and sat up immediately, his sleep already light as he was anticipating the rehearsal.

[VisAnastasis]

" It seems the mansion is built to usually disturb close listening in certain conditions for safety reasons, but it seems we are mostly excluded from restrictions. Perhaps our clearance is high enough, " Melody explained. " I can feel Alpha is... in the kitchen right now. He... hmm, doesn't appear to be in too high spirits, as he's just eating quietly on his own and not as chatty and bubbly as usual, Sun. "
" Well, we plan to ask for his help, anyway, so sooner is better than later, so he doesn't come up with any plans to pass the time before we convince him, " Falcon asked thoughtfully. " Hmm... We are borrowing the bag anyway, so how about borrowing it sooner? We could ask for the bag, so Alpha can use it to quickly transport us to the Fourth city. There are more shops there, since it's bigger, so we will surely find better things, and since we're roping him in to help us, we might as well invite him to shop with us, treat him to some gifts or street food as goodwill while we buy gifts for the kids. We are feeding Sil Simbel who is an astronomical cute little glutton, feeding a Star can't be half as difficult. "

---

Hans woke up with bit more light nudging, being a Listener, probably subconsciously feeling rather safe in the moment with their surroundings, so not waking up as easily. Once he did, and once he learned they only have half an hour, he cursed Tide half-heartedly and immediately stood up.
" Let's maybe make do with some quick sandwiches for breakfast. Half an hour is way too little time, Tide, you crazy bastard. Senecio, do you have time to do your makeup? How long will you need to prepare? he asked as he cleared his eyes to shake off sleepiness. " I can go to the theatre right away, so I can get everyone ready and start preparations and stall for time until you and Tide come. "

[Mirach]

"I agree, the sooner we ask, the better," Svarik nodded and started getting dressed for the day.

---

"I can do mine quickly, yes," Senecio nodded. "Do you want me to do yours before you leave? I think I'll just have tea and something small for breakfast, I don't feel like eating much now. It's not a ccostume reahearsal, right? I just... uh, there's too many blankets to move, not even talking about opening the closet. How do we vanish them without falling down?"

[VisAnastasis]

Conrad was already dressed in his more casual clothing, and onytl made sure to arm himself. While under blankets he could somewhat deal with it as he felt covered, but indeed, he seemed quite brightened up when he put his booth back on and felt sturdy soles beneath his feet, smiling broadly, as if someone just gave him 100 gold coins. Melody chuckled with his expression but didn't tease him about it, seeming glad he's being more relaxed around them at his own pace. She was in her child form while lounging on the bed before, but now she changed into her adult form and dressed up in flowy white dress as well before they all went out.

They indeed found Alha as they went down to the kitchen. Just as Melody predicted, he did not seem to be in high Spirits today, and was sitting in the corner on one side table, on his own, kitchen staff discretely leaving him alone. He appeared lost in thought, gazing at the birds flying around the garden through the window, as if pondering over something, not seeming to care much for his surroundings. It seemed that for him, it was also pancake breakfast time, and he used all six of his hands to be efficient with it. With one pair, he was putting on toppings of honey and cut nuts, with the other pair he was folding them, and with the last pair, he was stuffing pancakes into place on his face where the mouth would be, nibbling on them lazily, without rush.

---

Hans chuckled at the question, shifting around the blanket pile.
" Now I am super tempted to make you fall for the heck of it... you know you can do it, right? Not just with blankets. You can make a bed or soffa suddenly disappear from underneath someone if you have top authority... it's ultimate prank power. But there's an easier way to not fall. Room, have all yesterday added blankets in one-third of the room left from the door disappear, " he said, and Senecio could feel the pull of fabric, and something twisting and shifting, as blankets to the left all suddenly disappeared from sight, leaving the bare floor. Hans slid and hopped down on the soft carpet, waving to Senecio, and offering him his hand to hep him go down. " Once we are all safe, we just need to order the room to make all the rest of the blankets disappear as well. This mansion is a labour of great love, there's no way it can't do something as simple as carrying away the bedding. Speaking of labours of love, " he coughed. " If half an hour this terrible rascal left us is enough, doing my makeup would be great, naturally... It's just that if we are short on time you should prioritize yours. I know you feel more uncomfortable going out without makeup on point, and it's a big day, so we must take care of things that can get you out of your element. I have some nice perfumes in case you get nervous and sweaty and need to freshen up. I also brought some extra undershirts in case you feel sick and throw up... Tide told me baked potatoes are your favourite, and since he can bake potatoes with his power, I picked out some high-quality potatoes to always keep in my endless bag wherever we go, in case you need some warm comfort food of higher quality than stale things they sell on common markets... I also packed juices and wine you like, and I a lot of your favourite snacks, but tell me if there's anything else I can prepare on the fly... "

[Mirach]

"Hello," Svarik greeted him. "Would it be okay if we joined you and talked a bit?"

---

"I don't really want to think about food now," Senecio said. "But if Tide will jump with me to teh theatre, then I can do makeup for both of us, I just need to start now." He opened the closet to take out the clothes he wanted to wear and  quickly put them on, and then gestured for Hans to sit on the bed as he opened his little makeup suitcase and started putting on the base and colors with trained efficiency.

[VisAnastasis]

" Oh... You want to talk, little ones? " Alpha looked up to the side lightly, seeming a bit taken aback to see them approach him. He lazily cleared a bit of honey dripping down his chin and measured them up as if trying to figure out their intentions, before he sighed a bit tiredly. He turned his head back to the giant pancake pile and continued piling them up, but he slowly tapped one of the side chairs, with the other hand gesturing for them to sit down on the others around his little table. " My, what a cute bunch of rascals you are... Well... why not, I will play along. So, how is my favourite polyamory ship doing? " he asked, clearly trying to not bring them down with his mood or worry them, but sounding rather down, especially considering his usually cheerful self. His tries to sound bright came off as sad, although gentle courtesy. " You were all awfully cute on the real ship yesterday, by the way. Easy 9 out of 10, heh... "

---

Hans sat down obediently. He always had happy thoughts and anticipation when it came to makeup, but he seemed even more pleased with his makeup being done after yesterday's talk about family. He was sitting peacefully, and he was bubbly with how naturally it came for Senecio to offer it and work on it, as, even in a rush of having little time before rehearsals, the little comforting family routine between them was soothing and easing him. He seemed rather secure and content as he watched makeup getting circled in the mirror, despite his teasing of Tide for letting them sleep in, thriving when there was chaos to throw himself into, and when he had people he was happy to be thrown in that chaos with.

[Mirach]

"Oh, it was a very nice trip for us," Svarik smiled. "As to our relationship, it's a shift of perspective, and it feels natural, but also big. It's good that we have the time here to figure it out. Which is what we needed to talk about, because there are urgent things we need to take care of at home, but we don't want to leave just yet. Janus has lent me his bag, so we can travel more quickly, if someone can carry us there. I wanted to ask if you would be willing to, and make a trip to the capital with us today, and back tomorrow. But if its inconvenient to you, we can ask someone else. Are you doing okay?"

---

Senecio finished Hans's makeup in about ten minutes, and then took five minutes to do his own, working even faster as he was completely familiar with the moves of it. Then he asked the room for a cup of tea and a toast with butter and honey, which he  took a couple of bites from and then put it aside.

[VisAnastasis]

Alpha's face grew progressively more melancholic as Svarik spoke, and he sank more tiredly into his seat. At the end, with a question, he barely managed a faint smile.
" A cute courtesy... But you don't have to actually worry. Nothing big really happened to warrant grief from me. Would it be easier to just run from it all and not have to think about it for a little, littlest while?bI don't know... " He shook his head slowly. " I have gone through no misfortunes that hold concern. I am going through perfectly normal phase everyone goes through, sweet sugar... Completely mundane common troubles everyone goes through... Of feeling like the person most easily left out in a friend group. It is just a little discouraging to pour your heart into a circle... Only to somehow always end up outside of it. Out of circle of family, circle of life, circle of the earth... Circle of the solar system," he murmured, looking down on half eaten pancake with a more fragile expression. " There is...  no danger or cause for alarm. My feelings are unwarranted... and so very petty. But yesterday on the boat was giving my best to flirt and be romantic, but Hans seemed only half present there, thinking who knows what, complaining about Senecio and Tide leaving him to hang out on their own. I hoped it might lead to  a bit of bonding between us, but as soon as he got back he got back to work, arranging things for Senecio moving in. And it is fine. It was... fine. But then in the morning, I found out the three of them had fun last night, building pillow fort and narrating Being stories to sleep... and today, they are going to theathre as family, to support Senecio... and nobody extended me an invitation," he did his best to maintain a firm expression but his cheeks and face were droopy, like a sad cloth doll without stuffing." I am well aware I have no... grounds to complain, and that if I invited myself, I would probably not be unwelcome. It is just... Disappointing, that they did not feel like fun things would be more fun with me, or that hard things would be easier with my support. It is just disheartening thought... that things I yearn for are never in the present, always in the future.. Always inside circles I can somehow never reach. I just feel, a little more acutely these days, that despite all my efforts, almost always, people just come to me when they need something. It's nothing big, sweet sugar... Just a little, littlest, pain. Last few days were just... Too wonderful, and I could not help not raise my expectations," he leaned pancake against his mouth, but he seemed too unmotivated to keep nibbling on it." There was a very little shift of perspective... But I got so very much hopeful. Too hopeful. Hopeful enough that I was bound to hope for too much. So I am just a little, littlest bit sad, sweet sugar..."

---

Once his makeup was done, Tide first made a jump with Hans, who left carrying an snacking on sandwich quickly. Then, he got back, and after actor drunk and ate a bit, he gently picked him up and jumped him to the theatre.
In front of it, Erdel waited, to escort him in. Hans must have asked him to wait for the actor so he would feel safer going in.

[Mirach]

"Oh, I'm sorry," Svarik said, unable to not feel compassion. "Would you like to go to a birthday party with us? Janus is organizing a birthday party for his three boys, since they don't actuallly know when the birthday is. We were just going to buy presents, we only want to leave after the party."

---

In the hurry, Senecio didn't have much time to be nervous about the rehearsal. He nodded in greeting to Erdel and paused briefly before the entrance, but then went in and hurried to the backstage.

[VisAnastasis]

" Oh... I see... Well, it is not like I can invite myself to the rehearsal now, anyway. Normally, I could gather myself and play my cards cooly, but if I go as I am now, there's no way Senecio won't notice my mood, and I don't want to make a big deal out of my petty insecurities... I can not act like my woes of love are the most heartbreaking thing in front of a person who is trying to recover from dying. Dying is never pleasant... even for us who come back, " Alpha whispered, and slowly lowered the pancake he was eating, and put it aside as if having no more appetite. He looked up to Svarik, and with all his scattered strength barely managed the faintest little smile. " But look at you, sweet little rascal... poor littlest sugar cube. I could just eat you up, you cute thing. Are you just trying to invite me to yet another event I was not invited to? " His expression was sad, but his eyes, orbs of white light, were shining with gentle light - as he used one of his clean hands, and, more free and casual than common Beings due to his life among humans - he put his hand on Svarik's head and patted it lightly, as if in thanks, as one would thank a child that said something nice. His touch was warm and soothing, like Solstice's, and despite the creature's sadness, there was favouritism in it. " You will get far in life, being so awfully cute... but you know you don't have to throw me pity parties, especially not on children's birthday, right? You know you do not need to placate me.... do you? To be honest, it's pretty hard to motivate myself to run for a few hours, but as I said, it's not like I have grand plans I can use as an excuse to refuse you. In fact, due to being overlooked, and due to my fault of emptying any possible schedule so I can be free to support Hans and Senecio on those hard days if something comes up, my schedule is as empty as a a poor man's plate. There's not a morsel of activity to find. I don't have grand things to refuse you over, or will to sew or make anything that I could use as an excuse, sweet sugar... "

---

It seemed like this rehearsal was planned a little more smaller than usuals, as Hans tried his best to exclude staff not needed, or people that scorned Senecio, to make his first try easier. So there were less people than normal, and instead of people that hated him, Senecio saw around ten more familiar faces from the Ball few days ago, of Beings of different looks and kids sitting in the audience - it seemed Tide called some more friendly and casual creature who were brighter and more positive disposition, so Senecio who could perceive feelings would have an easier time, perceiving a little more positive ones than negative coming from people who looked down on him or envied him for his recent change in fortune. Erdel was there as promised, but Janus wasn't, though, as rehearsals were at 9, but the children's birthday was at 10, so he was preparing for it, and since today's rehearsing didn't require much mechanisms, until he was to come it seemed Rain was filling in for him by following instructions on mechanisms he left.

[Mirach]

"I think you would be very welcome at the birthday party," Svarik said. "Janus didn't want to make a big thing of it, so he didn't invite... well, basically anyone. I kind of invited myself when he mentioned it and I said I would like to come and bring some presents, and was delightedd by it. So if you do the same and invite yourself, I'm sure that he would be pleased. And I'm sure you'll figure out the thing with Hans and belonging to his circle, too. If you want an advice from the mature perspective of a two-day old relationship, you might think you are saying one thing, and the other person can understand it in a completely different way. It's good to not assume things and make sure you both understand what you mean. Until you figure out though, will you come with us to shop for the presents and take your mind off it for a while?"

---

Senecio got ready in the backstage, doing his usual exercises for stretching both his muscles and vocal cords, trying to get into the focus for the performance, even if he couldn't get into the character just yet. He hoped he would be able to once he enters the stage. But when the time came for his entry....  he just couldn't. He froze right at the edge of the stage and couldn't bring himself to enter it, feeling the strong self-preservance instinct that doesn't let one step off a cliff or jump into fire. Something in his body screamed at him that the stage is mortal danger, and he couldn't move towards it even though he knew rationally that there is no danger.

[VisAnastasis]

The creature could not help but smile a little bit more genuinely with Svarik's soft encouragement, although it was a little smile.
" I see... Well... they look like quite sad serious kids, so I doubt we could get them something to play with without patronising them, but I'm sure we'll figure out something. Are you... really sure I should go? Buying and sending presents through you is fine... but are you sure I should come to the party? " the creature asked quietly, as it but lightly fixed a loose curl behind Svarik's ear, before retreating his hand - while Solstice's touch was like the scorching summer sun, his was like a summer breeze, warm but soft, " The children seemed quite antsy even with Janus, and Janus is practically a fluffy stuffed doll. Meanwhile, let's be honest... There's more of a cursed rag doll feel to me, than a stuffed one. Are you.... sure about this? And... about the capital, too? Have you thought it through?  " he pointed to himself with his six hands, asking cautiously - it seemed the morning's experience coloured his current thoughts still, and he tried not to be too hopeful, but set himself more realistic expectations, as he unusually cautiously inquired. " I get that you sent Eros first to break the ice... but that barely counts. He is fully human passing, except for the large fluffy wings, and that's hardly cause for fear. Meanwhile, I am a dark, unnaturally slender, tall creature with six arms and no mouth, you know? " he chuckled faintly. " There is a reason I was the second person to join Hans's human integration program even though I wanted it for such a long time. It takes... a lot of preparation, to get people used to seeing someone like me without raising alarm or swords. Would there be... no commotion? Would humans at your mansion, and your Beings friends staying in the city not be alarmed at my visit, when they sense my presence and power? Will I not frighten your little Sil Simbel? If you wish, I... could drop you before city gates, but, still... "Two orbs that formed in his eyes dimmed a little bit as if he was frowning in thought. " I would still, rather, not leave you without proper protection until you get to your mansion, sweet sugar. Sure, your cute boyfriend is a sword master, but you never know... "

---

Hans and Tide were with him backstage, to support him. When he froze up, both of them had opposite reactions.
" It will just be a little, littlest bit scary at the start, but I know you can do it... " Tide whispered to him. " Don't you want to have it back, the applause you deserve so dearly? There's no reason to give up on your dreams. This is what you love, just a couple steps away... "
" You don't have to make them right away, though. Screw the whole courage thing, it is cheap, " Hans, who on the other hand, often dealt with his problems by procrastinating and giving himself time for frequent breathers, advised in the opposite direction, with determination. " I told you. You don't have to take it  back right away, even if you want it eventually... How about letting me take the lead? I already know everything by heart and had passed through two rehearsals perfectly, " Spirit tempted him gently, trying to offer him the space if he needed. " Would you rather I begin, and you take over when you feel like it? Once you watch from the outside and begin noticing my imperfections, you'll sure get fired up enough at one point to want to push this silly Being aside to do it right, no? It doesn't have to be right away... "