Senecio adn Tide II

[Mirach]

"Thank you," Svarik smiled and clasped Erdel's shoulder. "I thought if someone can help him find proper nourishment for him, it would be you. Good night for now, we'll yet see you tomorrow if you will stay for the party."

[VisAnastasis]

 Demon smiled brightly with the praise, even if regretful he could not give him a real meal, seeming determined to make up for it by using all of his abilities to do scavenging well, to replay him.
" Thank you... I will see by Senecio's mood if it will be better if I am there from the start, as the party starts at 10, but rehearsals start at 9... perhaps I will go to rehearsals at 9, and see if I can stop by a party at ten briefly, to bring a present, too. One of the kids has pale blonde, another bright blonde, third black hair... I think white, golden, and black pear would be nice little casual things to find and bring, as a cool adult Being just stopping by... It never hurts for children that age to have some extra disposable income, and adding three more pearls won't ruin the economy, " he laughed, seeming brightened up when thinking about the children - it seemed he had a soft spot for them, and was glad to see Janus put so much effort into making up for the childhood they never had. " Oh... this should be new information for you, but Janus also plans to ask Xia to work for him, to guard and soothe the children, so, while it depends on Xia in the end, I think it is likely she will say yes. So, when buying toys for kids, it might be a nice idea to buy a little something for Xia, too. Just a heads up, so you know what to expect. Knowing Xia, and seeing how fragile and anxious those little nuggets are, I don't think she will refuse to be there to help take care of them. She was created to soothe, after all. "

[Mirach]

Svarik nodded. "I'm glad that she found a place here. And the party just starts at ten, I'm sure it will go on for a while, so you don't have to leave the rehearsal sooner."  Then he took Conrad's hand under the cloak. "Shall we go?"

[VisAnastasis]

" To the end of the world, if you but ask, my love, " Falcon laughed brightly. " But for now, leading you to a nice comfy bed will suffice, " he whispered gently, and they parted, Erdel going to see Janus, them, returning to the mansion. He leaned closely against Svarik, while holding his hand, and activated the warming blessing to the full power he could, making the sharp air brushing against them warm.

[Mirach]

"Okay, but only if you will cuddle with me," Svarik leant on him closely and let the wind play with his hair, feeling rather pleasant now that it was warm.

[VisAnastasis]

Thanks to Falcon focusing all of his blessing's power on keeping them warm, even if it was strong, the warmth of wind reminded Svarik of the heat of summer, perhaps even more so, for it carried the warmth of Conrad's feelings within it. Man's previous words to Svarik indeed felt true - it seemed he never before felt as safe and comfortable as he did now, and there was no shadow or worry, in wonder he felt, keeping close to Svarik, and watching stars as they walked. This time, unlike before when they would go star gaze, he spent more time watching King than the sky, though. As he cuddled close to him, he could not keep the smile off his face, and his always weary and torn heart, even if fragile and poorly patched up, finally seemed to anticipate the future with more joy than a sense of duty and endurance. It was the remarkable, stark difference, from how he was the day they first met, and the man even walked a little slower than usual, pleased with every second of closeness more he managed to steal.

[Mirach]

Svarik was aware of Conrad watching him, and started playing a little private game of trying to steal a look at Comrad when he wasn't watching, and turning to the stars when he was. It led to their eyes meeting several times anyway, and every time Svarik smiled and pressed Conrad's hand. It also  led to quite a few stumblings, since he was too busy watching the stars and Conrad to watch where he is going, but eventuallt, they arrived at the house by the seashore. Even though the wind was pleasantly warm, it was nice to enjoy a reprieve from it.

[VisAnastasis]

Everything in that day, especially the night, seemed to have been something new and special to Conrad, who spent his whole life fighting and struggling for higher things and never got to experience such simple, pure joys. Every time their gaze would meet, his eyes would curve up like crescent moons, and every time Svarik pressed his hand, it looked he he tried his best not to tear up. By the time they got back when Svarik would look at him, it indeed seemed by his demeanor as if mans's heart was growing new, frail flowers, slowly but steadily.
" There are... a lot of stairs, you see... " once they entered the main hall, man coughed shyly, trying to appear neutral, but no neutral word could hide how drunk on the simple pure innocent joys of their night date he was. " May this... humble sky... carry his dear sun up to bed, or do you need me to come up with a more romantic metaphor for my appeal to work? If you want to keep up the dramatic kingly demeanor in case we meet some Beings up the stairs, though, I'll naturally accept refusal, so, please, speak your mind... "

[Mirach]

Svarik smiled. "I don't think that the Beings here care, and I find the metaphor very nice, like a gentle sunset. Only the direction doesn't really fit, but what can you do." He wrapped his hands around Conrad's neck so that he could lift him more easily.

[VisAnastasis]

" It will fit close enough when I lower my adorable sun to bed.... But then again, you can't tuck sun in, and I sure as hell will tuck you in until you are warm and cozy, so it's fine if it's not perfect. I'll have to brush up on my poetry collection in our library back home, to make sure my metaphors improve when we get back, " the man chuckled brightly, and, as if carried by the soft, bubbly feeling, he swept meadow king off his feet, and proceeded to carry him up, with a bright grin, trying to even out his steps so he doesn't shake him too much, but seeming a little too excited, now that he didn't have to be careful not to cause pain to any wound, like when Svarik was badly injured and he treated him like glass. With joy and freedom came a bit more speed, and Conrad seemed so happy he would skip a stair or two now and then, with childlike excitement, and spring in his step.  

[Mirach]

Svarik grinned with that, happy to see Conrad so joyful as he let the man carry him into their room.

[VisAnastasis]

When they got to the room, Falcon tried to stifle his excitement and be a little quieter, as lights were dimmed, and he saw Melody was already sleeping, snuggled in the blankets on her side of the large bed. His eyes relaxed even more at the peaceful sight, and he sighed contentedly as if his day could not get any better, returning from a windy night into such a peaceful scene. He carefully lowered Svarik on the free side of the bed, and then, he suppressed a little shy chuckle.
" Oh, yes... I forgot, you probably would like to change into your sleepwear before I tuck you in, right? " he asked more quietly, not to wake Melody, seeming embarrassed that he had almost forgotten. " I always sleep in armchairs with my clothes and booths on, so I forgot myself, and I must admit when you passed out after healing Senecio,  I likewise overlooked it... what you wore was last on my mind, while I worried when you will wake up. " he apologised, looking around. " Did we pack extra ones? I guess... we can probably ask for some for you from the room service. Hans told me we have pretty high clearance, as honoured quests, so we should be able to get some. Do you need anything more? Should I make you a drink, or would you like to go brush or teeth or something? I admit I am not quite sure what should be done, as you usually would either fall asleep way before we reach the room or be asleep by the time I'd come to the room. What do people normally do? "

[Mirach]

"Right, I more often than not fall asleep before getting a chance to change, I guess it comes with being a Listener..." Svarik chuckled. "I did actually pack a nightgown though, so I'll go change into it and wash a bit, and you ask the room for one, so that we can sleep comfortably tonight. I had tea with Janus, so Im fine but do get a drink for yourself if you want." Svarik took his night clothes from the pack and went to the bathroom.

[VisAnastasis]

As Svarik left him, Conrad seemed suddenly thoughtful, a little more unsure.
When Svarik got back after a while, he found the man, sitting at the edge of the bed thoughtfully, fiddling with something in his hands - chains and lock he used the previous night to wrap around the handle and lock the room they slept in from the inside. When Svarik looked at him, he saw Conrad did not order nightgown from the room service, but he did change into a little looser pair of black clothes he had. He even put his booths back on, as if he felt strange being without them for a short while as he waited. When Svarik entered and looked at him, he apologised, looking down unsurely.
" I... tried my best... but... I don't think I can make that big jump. This is as much as I can do, " he admitted unsurely. " I... am sorry. I have been in the army since I was 14, and I've slept in my clothes most of the time since, most often with my booths on, too. I only made brief concessions to Melody when she would plead with me to put her to sleep and tell her stories, by lying down on the bed for a bit, and for you, when I was sick from Being in the crypt and wasn't in the right state of mind to think about where I was. Very rarely, I would compromise by being on the sofa, but most of the time, I'd sleep in armchairs, and with weapons at hand... You have no idea how hard it was to not sleep holding a sword in my lap, handle at hand, since we met. I... you always fall asleep before me, so I originally planned to sleep in an armchair tonight, after I lock the door from the inside, " he murmured, fiddling with the lock in his hands, keeping his look down. " Would you be... disappointed in me, after all the talk about how safe I feel... if I wanted to lock the door, still? I know it's not needed, here, and we have Erdel close by, too... It is just for my peace of mind. For the last ten years, if I was conscious, I would always lock myself from the inside, even when I would make a compromise to spend the night in Melody's room. The only reason why I didn't do that when we were together was that you were anxious about not being able to keep doors slightly open, so you would not panic, but... it was more of an adjustment, than something I usually do. I... I mean, can you even imagine me, wearing something other than trousers and shirt? Bying a nightgown, putting it on and casually going to bed? " he said, in a safe baffled tone Svarik would ask why he would need to wear booths while walking on summer grass. " It just does not make any sense at all, to not just always wear regular clothes and change them as needed, so you are always ready. It does not suit me, to not be prepared... "

[Mirach]

Svarik sat down next to him and smiled softly. "it's alright... I get it. We had different strategies, but I understand the need for precautions when letting your guard down in sleep. I used to pick open spaces, or spaces with more than one exit if I could becuase I knew I would hear the approach of danger and would be able to run away. But you don't run away, you fight, so you feel safer in a defensible position. And I feel safe enough with you that I know I won't have to run away. And wouldn't without you, anyway, so it's fine if you lock the door. I want you to be comfortable, and if sleeping in an armchair and holding a sword if what you need to be at ease, then it's okay. But before that, could we just cuddle for a while?"

[VisAnastasis]

" No... I mean yes. That is... What I mean is... I would live for  you and I would literally die for you, you know, there is no way I wouldn't be able to sleep on bed for you. I was already managing sleeping without a sword for you, so I wouldn't make you tenser while you were on the edge around blades already. True, circumstances were different, as there was always someone awake in the room to keep watch, but that's beyond the point... I am Conrad Falcon. I can do anything I put my mind into," he smiled a little frailly, trustfully letting Svarik see his sincerity beyond the mask of jesting. "  I... could stay quiet about it and endure it as is, or lay down without falling asleep, but you are my smart little  rainbow cookie - you would notice I am alert. So... So, I am just trying to build what we have on more honesty. I can do it... If we can lock the doors, if I don't have to change into sleepwear, and if I can sleep on the edge of the bed and keep sword at the nightstand.... I can give sleeping on bed a try, it just may take me a while, " man was clearly a little tense, but he was gathering determination, and Svarik could finally see what this was about - man was clearly trying to communicate his discomfort more honestly and offer a compromise they can both be comfortable with." I... Just have to... Wrap my mind around untangling the matter of booths. I feel like our general dynamic when we would both be ill was you putting your booths off and me putting them back on to you, and you putting my booths off and me sneakily putting them on " he chuckled shyly, wiggling and squirming as if caught in incredibly hard matter to figure out, much harder than  any battte formation. How do people... Just casually take of their shoes and walk around the room in socks or barefoot without feeling awkward, like something is missing? How do they feel comfortable without steady soles beneath them to rely on? No equipment is as important as sturdy footwear. How can they be comfortable without it .. l."

[Mirach]

Svarik snorted at that. "You mean those heavy things that don't let you walk quietly, don't let you move your toes and don't let you feel the ground under your feet? Those shoes? I don’t get how you can feel comfortable enough in them to wear them even inside. I'll accept wearing them on stones or cobbled streets, or if it's cold, but once I'm inside, I'm getting rid of them. There's a carpet. What's the point of a carpet, if you shouldn't take your boots off on it?" He smiled. "That's just me, though. If you're uncomfortable sleeping without them, then sleep with them. If you don't want to get the bedsheets dirty, maybe just push a chair to the bed so you can put your feet on it? And it's okay if you just give the bed a try and you find out it's not working, you don't have to stay. It's just a first try. I also needed time to adjust to sleeping inside, but I've already had months to do that."

[VisAnastasis]

"Only cheap shoes don't let you walk quietly. Luxurious assassin shoes were almost always most expensive things I would own. In the mountains, it was most important, as nothing can kill you as fast as hypothermia in the night, and without good shoes, you are so going to lose some toes, you cute bastard. It is essential that they have good grip and proper texture, too. No amount of skill will help you from slipping from the cliff or roof if your footwear is poor. On one hand, defending is important, and feet are weak point, so good footwear that can't be easily cut can serve as first layer of defence against shallow cuts, when people with poor blunt equipement are surprised by high quality gear. But rather than just defending - you never know when you are to be in room one moment - and jump out of the window and glide down the facade of the building into pursuit in the night the second, " man said with a deadpan expression, as if it was the most every day event. " I am saving shoes Alpha made for the Ball, but their quality is incredible. I'll wear them all the time. I learned to climb in the Mountains from the Hilanders originally, but I wager even worst Highlander climbers would become best ones with those marvelous booths. I could probably jump out of the third floor and be fine with them, or kick sword out of someone's hand with them without getting cut... they really do have right to be endearingly called part of  fairy armor set by Alpha... " he was gushing quietly about wonders of shoes, as if advertising them - while, in contrast, so very carefully and awkwardly, he gathered resolve, and started taking off his current footwear. He seemed incredibly awkward, as he was being left in socks, like a soldier that is left on battlefield without vital piece of equipement. His socks were black, simple and warm, but purely functional and of high quality to match his booths. When Svarik thoughts about it, only times he saw Conrad without footwear was when he was sick out of his mind, and this was the first time man took his booths off without intention of just putting on another pair.

[Mirach]

Svarik watched him fondly and asked the room for a cookie and a glass of milk. "Here, you deserve it," he smiled and gave Conrad half of the cookie, "You know, you would convince me to get good shoes instead of cheap ones, but not to wear them all the time. I think it's a matter of habit. You have no problem with your hands being bare most of the time, don't you? Unless it's really cold, you don't need to wear gloves because you've been walking with your hand bare all of your life. I'm used to being barefoot, so I don't mind it more than not wearing gloves. But wearing them feels to me like wearing gloves while trying to play the flute. I can't move my toes freely like I'm used to, or feel the ground under my feet. It feels clumsy, I'm always aware of wearing them. Good shoes might help you with climbing, but when you climb barefoot, it's the same as using your hands, they don't slip like the sole of a shoe might. And you might notice that I still have all my toes even though they have been some rather cold winters. If you have to walk in the snow and have no shoes, do you know what you can do? Just wrap your feet in cloth and put a few handfuls of hay between the layers and you're as warm as in leather boots, really. But you're used to boots, so I guess it's the opposite to you. Your soles are soft and you don't spread your toes when walking but rely on the boot. I can see why you would feel uncomfortable without them.  Would you try to feel the carpet, at least? It's really soft. Don't worry, if we're attacked, I'll protect you long enough so that you can put your boots on, and I'll happily run away without mine," he smirked.

[VisAnastasis]

Perhaps before, Conrad would smirk or tease him back, but since they began dating, it seemed man felt much more free to show his appreciation. Instead of a smirk, he gave him a soft appreciative smile, his unsureness improving instantly with the gentle little gift of half of the cookie.
" Since you'll protect me in this unsightly time for me... I guess I should gather the courage to give the carpet thing a go... I will just walk across the carpet in socks, like a normal person, and proceed to barge the door from the inside like a normal person does,  " he snorted a little shyly, eating the cookie.  Then, he stood up, and walked toward the door, clearly doing his best to overcome the strange awkward feeling of something missing. As he began fiddling around the lock, he spoke up quietly, as if, just like Svarik, he offered a little bigger piece of his deeper thoughts. " I know I must look like quite an extreme pedantic case... I am perfectly aware I could have used other means, like cloth and hay... But can you imagine a kid I was, obsessed with flair of White Eagles and big dreams, sacrificing look where I could just make up for little bit of efficiency with money and skill? It does not quite paint a heroic picture, dressing up in shiny white cloaks, and wrapping your feet in cloth, doesn't it? I wanted to... look the part, you know, at first, when learning. And then, ten years ago... " he paused, not looking up from the chains he was entangling, as he admitted hesitantly. " You know... I never thought I was going to die as much as back then... when Otma tried to kill me. As if it wasn't enough that I failed completely and nearly everyone I tried to save was killed, I got dragged by the horse through stones branches and mud, and left for dead. Barely alive, not able to walk, I had to crawl through the mud, clothes tatted and barely recognisable. I was one wild animal passing by away from death... Only way I could keep crawling was with anger and spite. I was determined not to die like that, like a roadkill animal that deserves no second glance or mercy, instead of a human... I swore to myself that I would never die lying down, caught by surprise. I guess an oath like that sticks with you. I may not have made an Ar Venui oath, but I guess, in my own way, just like them, I wanted to make sure I died in a way I perceived as dignified. Can you just imagine... Conrad Falcon, the underground leader, caught by surprise by his enemies, killed in a nightgown? Conrad Falcon, caught by surprise in his room, seen running through the window in his socks? " he chuckled shyly, and he finished locking the door, appearing more at ease now that they were secure, and turning back to Svarik, to add. " It does not take away from your dignity, walking barefoot... it suits you, as part of your charm... But if someone were to kill me, I wanted to be more in control on how I will go down. Dying either trying to change something or protect someone would be ideal, but if that would not be possible, making the best possible last stand would be an acceptable way to be killed... " he explained as he watched the carpet beneath his feet awkwardly. " I... never wanted to feel again, as I felt in that closest brush with death I had. I know in the long run, it objectively does not mean anything, but it felt like the only way I could steal back some of the human dignity I have lost. The thought of dying was tolerable, almost pleasant at times - but never again, caught unaware. It is important to go down tidy, well dressed, with a sword in hand... and definitely not in your socks. Stealing back as much dignity as I could out of unfortunate affair felt really important, for a long time... "

[Mirach]

"I agree, it's very hard to look dignified in socks," Svarik said with a smile, watching him. He wasn't wearing socks hiimself, enjoying the softness of the carpet on his bare feet. "But i's easier to put your boots back on if needed, right?  It won't be needed, though. We are safe here. You can try to practice how it feels to rest without danger."

[VisAnastasis]

" My instincts are nagging me to say something cheeky... like, that you speak brave words for someone who saw Senecio stab Erdel in this very room, you know. But honestly, the actual level of danger isn't relevant right now. I am not doing this because it is safe enough, though it does feel good to feel more secure, with the lock," he admitted, still awkwardly, trying to get used to the feeling and watching the carpet apprehensively as he awkwardly stepped on it. " I am not doing this because you asked me to, either... It is just that... circumstances changed. I would still prefer, not to die in socks, of course... but that is no longer a main priority, " the shy little smile kept dancing on his lips, as he carefully unsurely stepped back toward him over the soft carpet. " It feels like trying to be romantic in socks won't look dignified, either, so I won't try to oversell it, but... It is just that, not dying in an undignified manner is currently second on the list of priorities," he explained as he shyly placed his sword on an easily reachable place on the night table. " Cuddling on bed with you and Melody now and in the future is the first, and I just can't do it properly, if I were wearing booths. For lack of better terms, the pros of cuddling you outweigh the potential indignity and silliness tied to it, " he explained. " I do admit... I feel so very silly, so I might not look it, nervous as I am, but I wouldn't want you to misunderstand me. I am only able to endure looking this silly because I am so positive about this whole thing. You have no idea, how your casual affection reassures me. I was very concerned about reminding you of unpleasant things for a long time, and I was worried for as long if you'd misunderstand my intentions if I kept acting affectionate even after you've recovered. While you were wounded and insecure, it felt justifiable to shower you with affection, but as you grew better and more confident, and as you brought Lipka, I did not want to be misunderstood as having some secret agenda, nor did I want to be a bastard, that acts like I was happier while you were unwell, " the shy smile would not leave his lips. " Turns out, I am a bastard, just not cruel, but dense one. I did not miss you being injured because I liked that you depended on me. I just missed having an excuse to be affectionate because I was in love... "

[Mirach]

"I would say that I think we actually are safer here because Senecio already gave it a shot, so the number of possible assassins has decreased," Svarik smiled. "But you're right that feeling safe and actually being safe is not the same, there is always a chance of something awful happening even in places that should be safe, I know something about it. But the risk is very much outweighted by the benefits of a nice cuddle." Svarik lied down on the bed, "Come here, my brave star..."

[VisAnastasis]

Like every time Svarik would allude to the night he thought was safe in the palace but was captured, Conrad's face would crumple up a little like someone would prickle his heart with needles. But, like with a balm on an aching hurt, his expression softened up with a gentle nickname.
" It... was easier to lie comfortably on the carriage floor, pierced with arrows where I held chaos under control, than to lie comfortably on such peaceful, inviting soft bed... but how can I not give my best, for the benefit of a nice cuddle?  " he asked frailly, as he stepped forward towards him. When he was dead tired, dragging himself to bed was instinctive and easier, but now that he was relatively rested, his moves seemed awkward, as he tried to figure out what to do, as he sat down on the offered space on the bed. " Forgive me... for being so lacking in such normal thing. It was all somehow easier when you were ill and I was determined to support you fiercely... when there is a certain level of militant determination, for the goal of giving you comfort, gestures would somehow follow my thoughts on their own. But when there is no crisis, or alarm, or comforting to be done, in lack of any feeling of crisis to push me to act, consciously picking what to do feels... so strange. I do not know how to act when there is no pressure or justification... "

[Mirach]

"No comforting to be done, really?" Svarik asked, reaching for Conrad's shoulder.  "Do you think I have to be ill to enjoy the comfort of your embrace? And justification? You don't need an excuse of me being unwell to cuddle with me. On the contrary, I would really like to enjoy it without the distraction of pain."