Senecio adn Tide II
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"Once the child is born, I think I would welcome some babysitting. I have two younger brothers that I helped to care for, and honestly, this particular case is where it seems to me that this arrangement has its adventages. So as long as you're willing to be a part of it, you won't be excluded."
--- "If you have something in mind that you would like, then let's hear it," Svarik nodded. --- Senecio took out the painting from the wrappings and admired it for a while, recalling the memory. "It's beautiful," he said and looked atound for the best place to hang it. He decided on the wall he could see while lying in the bed. |
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Conrad's expression wavered slightly, as if he was carefully wrapping his mind around the idea that seemed incredulous - from him who only gained things through great turmoil and effort, it must have felt incredulous, to be offered something so easily.
" I kept thinking, of justifications and arguments that won't make me seem too meddlesome, and won't make me appear too nosy... It would be easier to act like I am merely filling in to babysit for the sake of helping out, but if I were to pretend I am merely doing a busy couple a favor, it would be... dishonest. If I act like nothing is big deal to me, neither you not Svarik will even be able to properly know, what I am doing because it has to be done, and what is actually important to me. Do you not have similar hurdles to overcome? If you're always tolerant and don't express what are your likes and desires, how will I ever know? Since trying to offer me something to make amends is just a lip service if you don't feel strongly about it, how about an exchange in turn, instead? Honestly... It's not a particular subject I ever spoke of much with others... But I really... love children. That's why I sponsor orphanage, and take track of local kids to buy them gifts every now and then. But... I do not want to have my own. I do not want them to grow up, hearing grieving and bad things about me, and end up labeled as children of traitor their whole life, feeling like someone is always talking poorly of them behind their back, for things that isn't their fault... but... this much should be alright... So raising this child is very important to me. I... would really like to take part in it, but I am afraid I will appear too overzealous... I have no hidden intentions, like raising brilliant crown prince or princess or whatnot... I just... want to take care of it, give it delicious snacks and teach it useful things. I want... just a little, of things normal people can have... just a little will suffice. If there's anything as important to you... I would like you to tell me, when you settle your thoughts. But if what occupies your fears at the moment the most is being excluded in our circle, like what ocupies mine is being excluded from yours... For very start... May I ask you, for things that you like receiving? " he finally said the worlds he seemed to be working up to, revealing timidly his future plans. " What are your favorite snacks? Your favorite foods? Favourite drinks, materials, sounds, colours? Things you love to receive as gifts? When we are together, I... like to bring them food, and snacks, and make them surprise little gifts. The very first thing I did when Melody moved in was gift her music instruments she loved, and first thing I did when Svarik who had nothing came to the mansion is gift him new tailored clothes embroidered with flowers. I like... to give them abundantly. So, I just really can't imagine things working out between us properly, if I shover them with presents but give nothing to you. For me, that is the feeling of paying attention to only some people in group, and even if I were to purposely not give them things when all four of us are together, but do it when you are not there, it is not like both of us wouldn't know I am treating them differently. Keeping respectful distance seems like something that would be poison rather than cure in our situation... so, what do you think? Would you like to be a part of my elaborate scheme to increase our budget for snacks and trinkets, or not? " he whispered quietly, returning her words back to her. " As long as you're willing to be part of it, you won't be excluded... " --- " Alright, so this is how things stand, cute little snacks. It is, of course, my opinion, but now that Thief is gone and Tarmagil is as dead as a doornail, I think it would be lovely for Hans to break out of his shell, and take care of his health more. Little Svarik has some context, while cotton candy God has less, but tea summed up... Hans is... a Spirit I fancy, and he's not of best health. The whole Thief, Empire, and clashes with Bull priests took a lot out of him... I want to get it back, " he explained simply, and despite his casual way of speaking, a more quiet, melancholic tinge of sadness could be heard in his voice. " So, what do you say? Are you in for joining my little secret forces unit, to steal it all back? Coaxing him to come to the city in the way that seems natural, for start - I think it would be good for him, especially now, when little Simbel's influence is all around it instead of Crypt's. Tied to it, generally speaking - Hans is rather frail, anxious and unstable existence currently, while your cute pastel Deity is in its core a soothing, stabilizing existence - I do not expect unreadable improvement, but whenever you do meet him, I hope for all your efforts for his health, and naturally, I hope for you two's help, to gently coerce him into doing more for himself, as he's not good at it, and more people chip away at his reluctance, the better, " he said, with a faint thoughtful smile directed at Simbel, before the smile deepened, when he looked back at Svarik, and added sadly, his tone contrary to his wide grin. " As for you directly, cute sugar... What do you say about brainstorming with your friends, and coming up with an official position you can make up for him, that would be able to put him into position where he can suggest new laws or discuss them with you, without having to go slowly go through local changes and work from bottom to top, or go through hoops with the council. A position where he could be a step above it, and step below you? Honestly, lot of his emotional outbursts come from how hopelessly hard it is to change bad things he has to deal with every day... Even naturally cheerful people would be depressed, and he's especially vulnerable to heavy thoughts most of the time. However, as things stand now, with no excuses, he would always feel like begging or risking conflict with you, if he tried to skip official channels and pitch things directly to you. So, what do you say, sugar? Wouldn't it be neat, if three of us conspire, and naturally coax him into position where he would be able to suggest you things, without fear you'd think he's crossing any line, position where council could not sue or accuse him of being power hungry and underhanded, and coincidentally, position where he'd have to often travel to capital, to break away from the past? It would be good for you, in my opinion, too, if you had someone as smart as him to lighten your load... He's too capable... just like your... cute Conrad Falcon, do you not think it is a waste, to not have his help? And just being with you and getting along would be good for him, anyway. Heart wants what it wants, so if it wants to be fearful, it will be fearful, " Star shook its head firmly. " But I would be pretty sad if he keeps being fearful around such cute sunlit person as you, sweet sugar... It is sad affair, when things that can be sweet turn bitter. So your world with people you care for can be sugary and sweet, without unnecessary bitterness, I but want your aid in return, so that my world can be sugary and sweet, too. Admittedly, last three centuries world was quite more bitter sweet than I prefer... " --- Hans was clearly pleased Senecio liked it, his tail wagging slightly. Tide on the other hand, while excited with how it turned out, looked a little nervous, as turn came for his present. " We tried to keep the scale reasonable, so it's nothing big... I just had a good feeling about it, " he explained shyly as he watched Senecio unpack his gift. Once actor did so, he saw it contained a lovely little vase. Unlike expensive custom ordered frame, this was was clearly something Tide sneakily stole a little time to make between other things whenever they were apart, as it was shaped by clay, clearly with some help of water bending, as it was very smooth. Tide seemed to have a thing for cute little arts and crafts, just like for sewing, as it looked neat and polished. He aimed to match Hans's concept, as, while vase looked white at first glance, on closer look, there were countless thorny roses drawn all across it, with shimmering rare silvery paint that was refracting light in same way as mother of pearls material, in various slightly different hues. While not as well drawn and symmetrically painted as professional work would be, with slightly crooked rose here and there, there was clearly lot of love put into it. " While it is handmade, no care was spared for materials, " Hans tied in readily seeing Demon's shyness, as if trying to reassure him. " Color is especially made by Alpha, Rain went to deeper Layers to get special kind of clay for it, and Janus strengthened the final product so it doesn't break easily. It is one of Tide's more adorable pieces, if I may say so myself! " " I just wanted... to make something romantic. I find it sad when real flowers are picked just for their look, to die before their time, but it is pity, not to be able to experience the romance of giving you flowers... Luckily, there is one kind of flowers in the world, that I do not pity cutting off, " Demon said with lightly bathed breath, as he timidly lowered his collar a little bit, revealing lot of flowers that grew on his neck since last night. " They grow too fast... I have more every day than I know what to do with... Since Death is bad at making happy chemicals and I have excess, Eros said it would be good to give him lot, to use as ingredients for his food, to make up for how bad he is at making happy chemicals for himself, but even as I do that, I am just too happy these days...they grow too abundantly. To have them grow so fast, who has bigger credit these days but you? So, I would like to be able, to offer them to you, without having to wait for you to ask, or having to be reluctant about it... Since they can stay fresh for a long while and are healthy and tasty, they are perfect flowers to keep in a vase... so whenever I have excess, I wish, to pick them and put them here for you, so you can have something nice from me to look at and snack on or use as you see fit, " As if on demonstration, he right away plucked couple largest flowers from his neck, and shyly placed them into a vase, explaining hoarsely. " Would... this arrangement burden or please you? For you, who has captured all my loose thoughts and made me unable to think of anything else without being distracted by the thoughts of you, I want to give a life with glass that is half full, always overflowing with flowers... " |
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"That sounds nice," Lipka said. "I like getting presents, who doesn't? My favourite colors are red and white. Red patterns on white, to be more exact. From snacks, I like to try different things, but I particularly like things that are both soft and crunchy. One of your cooks makes a great pie with custard center and crunchy crust, that’s how I found out. I like belts with interesting patterns, and interesting plants that I can grow in a garden ot inside. With the influence of the pond, I think everything will be able to grow outsie, but having plants inside is nice, too. Svarik likes colorful meadow flowers, but I actually like interesting shapes of leaves more, especially the thick leaves of plants that like drought. Thinking about it, it seems that I have a thing for patterns, whether it's on clothes or in leaves. And sorry I digress, but speaking about growing plants outside, I'm concerned about one thing. Will there be some actual winter in the city or around it, with Simbel's pond right here? A lot of plants actually need winter to grow well in the next year..."
--- "That's a good idea, and I would gladly do that for Hans and have his law expertise on my side as a bonus," Svarik nodded. --- "It's beautiful," Senecio smiled. "You picked the perfect colors to make your flowers stand out. And having them in my room is like always having a part of you here." |
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Conrad listened intently to Lipka's descriptions and words, nodding slightly as she spoke, as if making a careful note, so he could do well. When she mentioned plants and Simbel though, he could not hep but smile a little bit.
" That rascal Deity is a whole heap of trouble, indeed... I shared your concerns. Indeed, with his warmth, and his ability to influence weather around him when he is well fed, true winters in areas around the city will wane - days will be shorter in winter months as always, but weather will be changed. But in past, when Simbel was a God, city had many harvest per year, and everything bloomed healthily and abundantly... that's why I questioned him, to check to make sure we make plans so plants that need specific weather or sun won't be endangered. Svarik or other proper Listeners or Singers will be able to understand details better, but Simbel's influence is more complicated that just bringing warmth. As long as he is well fed, he can spread his presence further, and through that presence, he can influence others. Core of his powers is to influence soul and essence of things, to cleanse, stabilize, soothe them... Just like he can influence humans, he can influence plants. Just like Svarik can use music to grow any plant, you can say Simbel's essence sings to plants his influence can reach, and overrides their natural ways, so they grow better, healthier and more abundant. More he is fed, stronger his own song is, and more he can affect those around him. Just like he can affect humans to calm down or fall asleep, he can affect plants to be more dormant when their clock demands it, without having to rely on coldness. Fundamentally, both without their own soul, and only powers, both Thief and Simbel are similar kinds of creatures, but their influence was shaped based on their choices. Thief would usurp strong souls and parasite on them and eat them, jumping from host to host... Simbel never takes what he isn't given, and makes up for not eating souls by creating bonds with living. It is symbiotic, instead of parasitic way of living. Instead of focusing on one victim to eat from, he takes energy he is given from food, and forms as many little bonds as he can, so his influence is spread out and he harms nothing... Rather than seeing Simbel as one plant that makes other plants grow, Simbel is more of a presence merely symbiosing the most closely in that oldest plant he was tied to, but whose influence spreads on all plants or humans he can reach with his warmth. Not much like endless summer, but like a mind that can control flow of things here and there, whether it is to make uneasy human fall asleep easier, or to make a struggling plant grow better. " his smile was much more soft as he spoke of the creature, with same softness reserved for Svarik. " You can say all of us in his influence are in extremely faint symbiotic relationship with him... so very slight we can barely feel it. Through it, us living things ground him and feed him so his existence does not get muddled and fade, and he exerts influence where it is needed. It would be quite scary unchecked, but most of that rascal actually does is be excited to be able to offer us more bountiful harvest in thanks for feeding him and good dreams for people he sees are struggling... It would be problematic if power got to his head, but that seems highly unlikely at this point. But it is true in the same time, that those bastards of past Kings never fed him until he was really full, and he also ate Demon King's Grandel's powers when he cleansed his corrupted essence, so he is technically quite stronger than he was in old Kingdom's days, so I am taking that into account, that his increased power might make things different compared to how they were back then. I will keep an eye out and can let you know... but honestly, even if he ended up being harmful to certain degree to some plants... I would just work my best to solve it if it's solveable, if not, we'll figure out how to rotate and change to different crops, if it comes to it. I am well aware what easiest solution would be... just to feed him very little during the winter months, so his influence wanes during that time. That would create artifical winter again. But.. I apologies, but I am not doing that, no matter who would ask, not even if Svarik begged me to, " he shook his head firmly, glancing down at countless papers he held. " I will never feed him even a gram less... Moreover, whenever I can, I will feed him more. Until now, it was fine to earn moderately, but from this point on, I plant to heavily focus on earning in my free time, so I can earn a lot and afford to always feed him very best I can, even if it creates some hurdles we would potentially need to solve. After all, I am not feeding him to build up his power... Parents don't need their children to be of use, to earn their daily meal. I am not feeding him to be useful... but because I love him. Since he choose me himself as his family, he has no choice, but to suffer the consequences, of being loved unreasonably, regardless of consequences. Whatever hurdles for plants or humans may come from it or not, we will just have to solve them as they come... " --- Alpha smiled softly with his words. " Just keep the deal a secret - Hans is a moody little bee that loves to do its work and hates to feel like he prioritising himself instead of the world, he responds better if you frame what you offering him as decision in the name of bettering the world, than if you frame it as worry for his poor health. He is allergic to worry, worrying will just backfire, " he whispered, and despite his little sorrowful tone, there was a clear softness as he spoke of the Spirit. His gaze toward Svarik and Simbel went from more playful to softer, too, as he added. " I am confident you can work out the details without my help, so, if you agree, I will leave that to you, and in return make sure your cute entourage and pastel Deity gets the best treatment I can give. They are just more numerous, and from creating custom clothes that act as armor, I also depend on special materials, so it may take a little bit longer than it was for you and little Falcon of yours, like for you two, I had saved up rare materials of my own that I used. So, outside of that, since it's not hard, I will add protection from the sun to everything they already own, to make life easier for them while they wait for the clothes. Naturally, I shall still work on the clothes in timely manner, so you don't have to worry for too long. Would you like us all to go over sketches and concepts, so we can pick the look together, so I can work on them a little at a time, as I gather needed materials? Or would you like to leave designing for us and be surprised, if you two have prior arrangements? " he tilted his head curiously, as he must have wondered, with meadow king coming here, if his original intention was talking with Simbel, and should he give them an excuse to leave so they can talk, or if they want to pick designs first. --- Tide's gaze was dreamy and emotional, and after he saw Senecio liked his gift too, he was beaming. " How cute is it, that a man who already has my heart in his pocket at all times wants even more of me... how can I not oblige? " he whispered shyly, as he lowered his collar a bit more, and he began picking some more flowers, and gently placing them in a vase. Hans could not help but chuckle at that. " You should have made a bigger container for all that love, huh? With so many flowers, there'll be more of them than vase there, " he teased. " I did not know they would be growing this fast either... I guess I had really nice two days, " critter coughed shyly. " I will probably have to pick them at least once a day, if things keep going like this. Besides, we have plans tonight, and there will only be more to grow, but if too many glow on small place, it will be harder of pick them properly without ruining the petals with my big hands, and I want them to look pretty for Seine... " Hans only laughed harder at the cute ordeal, and came closer and took freedom to help out with picking the smaller flowers that indeed seemed countless, growing too close to each other, probably more painful to pick since they were too close to each other with too short steps for Tide's large fingers. Spirit gestured to actor to come closer and join him as it seemed it would take a while. " You heard him, we must hake sure to pick them carefully so they can look pretty on the table. Come, silly apple pie... " he said through the little silly suppressed laugh. " Let's fill that adorable vase up to the brim, and I'll make sure all remaining flowers go to Death. It will take a bit, but we should definitely pick them all up before you guys go play, as, while funny, it would be quite annoying for you to have to stop your games just to pick flowers that are getting in the way. Having Tide turned into a happy bubbly flower tree is something I never thought I'd see, but it seems daily flower harvest are going to become a thing, so I guess becoming gardeners is next profession's turn to master. Doesn't some daily gardening sound splendid? Are you in for a quick round of flower picking? " |
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"Okay," Lipka nodded. "That makes me feel better about the future harvests, so we can get back to what we were talking about before. I told you my favourite things, so what are yours?"
--- "Would you prefer to help design your own clothes?" Svarik asked Simbel. "Maybe Alpha could first discuss their attire with the vampires that are here, though. I need to talk to you alone for a bit, is that alright now?" --- Senecio chuckled. "They are indeed getting plentiful. What would you say to some nice patterns made from them? And which way does it feel better to you? Cutting them with scissors, or plucking by hand, and slowly or fast?" |
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Conrad seemed a little taken aback, as if he did not even consider that would bed logical continuation of the conversation. But because he was clearly trying his best to not hide his expressions, Lipka could see the slight worry on his face, as he grew thoughtful, as if trying to drag into the light the subject long buried, and seldom even thought about actively.
" I guess you are asking for personal preferences, not people or anything work related? I guess... stars would be a good start. I... like stars. No matter where you are, and whether it is cloudy or not, you know they are always shining out there, somewhere... There is nothing more reliable than that. There is comfort, in knowing no matter how long you live, you won't live long enough for at least that one reliable thing to change. There is beauty and comfort, in their indifference. Whether you are are sinner or a saint, they shine at you just the same, " he whispered, pausing, before adding so slowly, fiddling with his pen. " I have couple favorite things I own, like sword Simbel had Solstice reforge for me, and medallion and clothes Svarik gifted me at the sea... but not too many preferences. I like reliable, useful things, that can help me take better care of people around me. It does not matter exactly what I am to receive... I just... like when I can see effort was made, that's all. If we are counting actions, not things... I guess we could count that.. yes... I like braiding hair, " his expression brightened up a little, as if he was relieved he could dig out something more concrete that could genuinely be called a preference. " Melody liked when I would brush and fix her hair, and would be happiest when I would trim it, and I wanted to do it well, so she is not embarrassed before others, so I took professional classes for taking care of and making hairstyles for long hair, actually. I am quite good with it by now... Decorating hair with various pins and ribbons, making any kinds of braids or such... I was planning to take some targeted professional lessons on styling middle length hair now that there's Svarik around too, but with everything happening, I haven't gotten around to it yet. Colors... colors, I like dark hues close to black, that blend well into the night, I like pink of Simbel's eyes, silver of his flowers, and the gold of Svarik's and Melody's hair. I find the shaded troubled red of Erdel's eyes a welcome and soothing color, all the more, the more he dislikes it himself. It used to be the color of blood and Thief and Bull and my enemies, but on him, it is strangely reliable. Food... food, I like fish baked with corn and apples. Svarik always smiled most peacefully, and Melody was often shining most brightly on days she would make it for us. And I like... pears. In mountains, when we lived of poor rations, it was rare to eat anything tasty or sweet for long time, but on occasions, we would stumble upon wild fruits, and pears were most common in parts we were stationed. Since I was the youngest, other White Eagles would always, by complete change, give me larger portions of everyone's share, no matter how much I nagged at them to be fair instead, " he was smiling sadly. " I... like to read. I can read anything for learning's sake, but what I love reading.. are stories with happy endings. Since I had good education and was able to learn lot of things by heart naturally when I was young, I would often tell stories to the others in the army, to pass the time... I used to quite like it, but there was never much occasion for it for many years afterwards, before Melody and Svarik came around. I think... that should be about it. At least, those are things I can think of in the moment... " --- " Oh, I am quite alright with not taking part, As long as it is strong to help me last longer in a fight, I will be most grateful. Demon Hunter swords are usually tailored to cut souls, you see, which is usually great choice, because it's most efficient way to defeat Beings with strong regeneration, by hurting their souls, and their training favors disabling user's soul to kill as quickly as possible... so I, who has no soul they can cut, am best opponent to catch them of guard, since they can't harm my essence with swords - they can only cause me physical pain. If I can fight longer, so our chances get much higher. I will gratefully accept anything you would like to dress me in, " Simbel exclaimed humbly, bowing his head, but Alpha just casually gestured him to raise it up. " Now, now, sure, if you wish to be a meat shield, you can't do it without proper shielding to go with it, but my pride as tailor is on the line, you see. I must make you the prettiest meat shield in the land, cute cotton candy. So, do you have any preferences? Can you at least give me some color guidelines? " Star asked curiously. " That... I think design and final decisions should go to you and the vampires. They should get something that they are satisfied with, since they should be wearing them often for protection, " he coughed shyly, as it was clear he was trying to evade giving too much input on details, as he wanted to make them happy by giving them choice to put their preferences into it. " As for me... I guess just colors should be alright to pick. Whatever other colors you choose... please, make sure there is some black, to match... with Erdel. I don't want him to feel different and too left out compared to others, when people look at us. Either pink or red is alright, too, to match either vampires or me. Bull's sacred color is red, so whether it's pink or red, pious people will feel happy to see it, and they all had hard ten years, I... want them to feel more reassured when they look at me, like not everything in their world turned upside down... Keeping some symbolic things is important to put them at ease, " he said shyly, and added as timidly, as he stood up from the table. " Svarik and I will go to talk now, so really, please choose anything you see fitting and... and, if you are to choose embroidery, either silver either gold is equally good. Silver, like Silver Simbelmynë... Or gold, like Svarik and Melody's shade of hair that shines like gold in the sun. Either of those spark joy, so you can choose whichever seems best... " --- " Do you mean patterns, like picking some, and leaving some to form patterns? They grow too fast in the moment, I fear I am a little too much in the clouds those days, so any tries to make patterns would be unsucessful probably... Old would be overgrown by new too quickly. They grew this much since I did not pick them since yesterday, " Tide giggled, as it seemed their soft touch was little ticklish, before he continued shyly. " Perhaps when I get the bubbliness to normal amount, it will get better enough to not have to pick everyday. And I think plucking slowly... feels nicest and most refreshing. If you cut it by scissors, they remain too resilient. I gave it a trey, and ones cut by scissors only grew anew from the cut, but were a bit crooked where they were cut, so they grow more irregularly. If it's not from Being swords, I heal quite fast, so it heals up and feels like normal skin as soon as it's picked up. Besides, it's fun to watch and see how quickly my neck gets covered up anew. They tickle a bit when there are too many, but they are such silly random mutation, it's been a while since I ate a piece of soul and got something so ridiculously resilient and compatible with me. I rarely ate anything of nature Being before now, so this one seemed to have been quite influential by chance, because it fit with me. " |
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"Oh, I really like braiding hair!" Lipka smiled. "It's all about patterns again. But I can’t do the more complicated ones on my own hair, I need to see what I'm doing. Have you ever tried to braid your own hair or do you just like playing with someone else's?"
--- "We could take a walk in the garden while we talk," Svarik suggested. As they walked around the pond, looking at the newly planted trees and flowers there, he asked: "How much do you actually remember from White Eagle's memories? If I met an old friend of his, would you remember him and want to meet him again?" --- "That's the fun thing about them growing so fast, you can have a different pattern every day, just like make-up," Senecio said. "Do you want one now?" |
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" Well... to be honest, for last ten years, almost all my waking hours were dedicated to the city one way or the other. To learn this for Melody, or tell her stories, or care for her hair, I had to sacrifice time I did not have, and balance as much as I could, so I could see her at least a little bit each day. I was not really... in a mindset of wanting anything, while burdened with priorities of survival of the city. I could only enjoy those small things because they were things I was doing for Melody... I would feel guilty, doing something just for sake of doing it, or doing nothing, when my involvement made too big difference, " he explained, adding somewhat hesitantly, as if hoping he would not sour the mood with truth. " I would let Melody braid my hair when she felt like it, but I did not do it myself. I just wanted to keep country together... I could not justify time for myself. Likewise, it can technically be deemed for myself, since I like making models from clay... but it was a practical thing... I started by making a few clay models of house in city for secret operation, and it took of. It was useful, to have view of city from above, all keep detailed track of how it develops, and what escape routes and secret locations in all streets are, where doors and windows are located and such, so whenever I would research and investigate a house, I would build it from clay, for city model. Model is destroyed now, but point is, it was probably only thing that was more selfish of me, with usage of my time... Making braids for myself while I could be working instead felt like a waste. I would feel too guilty to do it. Even clay models, I would be making while in same time listening to reports or having meetings, to not waste any time. Likewise... well... it may make me sound paranoid to say it, but... in my line of work, it's best to have as much indistinguishability as possible. So, I always kept as general most common hairstyle and length of hair, as common middle class simple clothes to wear, got no tattoos, minimized as much scars as possible... I did have sword I was known for in Underground, but I planned it carefully, so scabbard is simple and negligent and I only use it when needed. If someone witnesses you at scene of the crime, it is quite easy to describe someone who is well dressed, has unique braids, expensive jewelry, tattoos, piercings, visible scars, unique clothes... But it is much harder to pinpoint plainly dressed thug with dark hair tied in ponytail, who owns a sword like countless of people do. Most of people from my part of organisation are people with darker tied hair, simple dark clothes for blending in, and a sword. I am well build, so it is big detriment from the start, so I did my best for us all to fit in decently among each other, my making sure everyone dresses warm and proper, has proper sword license, stays healthy and well trained, and so on... It is exciting to express yourself, sure, but not as exciting as staying out of custody or being safer, so I did my best to take care of everyone, and I naturally had to be a good example. So most of the time I went with as plain and simple look as I possibly could... Whatever blended in the most and was best at concealing identity... "
--- Simbel realized Svarik must have more serious reason for asking for conversation, not just seeking for advice or update on situation in the city. It seemed he tried to rein in any hopes or presumptions, and reply trustfully. " Well... whether your question is hypothetical or not, actually... from my perspective, I would not say White Eagle.... had that close friends. He had people he loved dearly and wanted to protect, people he adored to death, felt deeply for... but lot of the things he actually had... were superficial. You just can't... really be close to people whose true hearts you don't know of... and despite all his earnest love and joy... he... was earnest and had his heart on his sleeve, so he always took it at face value other people were straightforward and honest like him. He... never understood neither Riversong's desperate bitter survivor's guilt, nor Solstice's loving but heavy sadness, of always having to keep up appearances of model citizen while he had whole huge risky thing behind the scenes going on. He yearned to help Death so deeply.. but he never could grasp his true grief. He was full of passion and love... but you can not build things out of your feelings alone, without other person feeling Seen and Known, " he whispered, looking thoughtfully at trees in the garden, as he spoke things that would be inconceivable just a little while ago. " Most enduring thing was bond with Solstice, who would visit me here and there even as I became a pond... But I do not think... Solstice visited me because I used to be White Eagle. He did not seem to really put weight on it that much, and just came to see me for sake of seeing me... He just is built like that. I never blamed him much, for not coming more. I knew he had no ability to stay away from his castle for too long, because he had to protect the Vault... and as I learned of, apparently even more, helping out Demon secretly. It... must have been so hard on him, to balance and keep secret, but I never knew his burden and plight. White Eagle... Other than Solstice... he mostly just had... people he was protecting and helping out. He rarely stayed in one place for long enough for others to feel deeper feelings with his absence, " he whispered quietly, and then, he gave answer to Svarik's question, so very slowly, as if knowing his reply would not be reasonable. " But... from my point of view... at that time, when... I was starving... White Eagle's memories were too important not to preserve. While not quite friends, I felt like, if things get better one day, if I am able to find a messenger, I could at least have enough... credibility left with few people, to plead for help once or twice if actual emergencies, like I pleaded Solstice to come at Long night. So... it was important to keep as much as I could remember of immortal interactions and... on demon hunting... to preserve that knowledge to help people hurt by demons in the future. But I also had a legacy of all flowers ever planted in my dreams, and all memories of those people... I could not compromise on deleting even one bit of those, because they were too important. So... When my energy got too scarce... when starvation got so bad that I had to consume something not to fade away and disappear... It was a matter of deciding, what to keep. Since my memories are kept in my roots, and I had to eat bit by bit of my roots during centuries, to survive... when covered.. so... " creature coughed, and admitted with timid guilt. " Actually... what I sacrificed are mostly... private memories. That is, memories of both White Eagle... and White Gardener, when they were alone. So, I do remember he was travelling a lot, and I remembers bits of places - whenever he would interact with people, in background of it all. But memories are quite chopped, as I basically... cut down any eating, travel, manual labor, or sleeping from it... I cut out any possible extra things. I know I.. he used to sleep in tall trees idly in summer days, and stay long hours watching the stars... but how many night of star gazing worth of memories does one actually need? I ate all memories where he was doing it on his own. I remember the feeling of flying, but I can not clearly picture any sight he used to see from above, not unless I already created a dream from it. I remember he used to do small chores like carrying things and chopping wood to help humans he stayed with, but I don't remembering ever actually cutting wood. It is in my muscle memory, but no memory of my own is tied to it. Same goes... for my own memories.. as pond... as me. I kept all my flowers... but sacrificed any memories tied to flying in fairy vessels or watching the city around it, and almost anything I used to perceive as a pond, like memories of being fed by people or being happy with sun and rain.. Anything extra went away... But you don't have to worry, " he clearly rushed to reassure him. " It was, honestly, from this perspective... quite terrifying, trying to connect it all when we just met... when I had so little strength to connect my thoughts in a flow, that I had to scramble to get context and connect things by focusing on indirect memories from flowers, that were most coherent and fully preserved. Back then, it would have been impossible for me to fairly judge proper timeline or anything from missing memories, since so much less relevant in between are lost, but now, I am feeling quite well, and can think properly, so it is not that hard to know how and when things happened as I follow the context. Whatever you hope I remember, to fortune or misfortune, I probably do. It's like... Bridge still being a recognizable bridge, even if you'd remove every other board. As long as you skip missing ones as you go across it, it is just little less convenient, but it is still a decent bridge, so you don't have to worry... " --- " Oh... When you put it that way, it sounds fun. It seems I've become a real proper and prim flower tree, " Tide chuckled. " But it's no fun if I know what it is, so how about I close my eyes and you guys surprise me? " " What's the point if you'd be peeking? " Hans teased, but he shook his head energetically. " No, I'll be good, truly! No peeking at all! And don't worry about messing up, " he said brightly, adding a little shyly, with clear hope that he can rope them in to spend more time doing something silly and fun with him every day. " We don't know the future, sure, but I am quite confident I will be quite happy for quite a while, so... we'll have plenty of times to practice what looks best as flowers grow and grow... " |
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Lipka nodded slightly. "I think I can guess what Svarik sees in you," she smiled a bit. "Thank you. Is there something more you would like to talk about now? If not, where could I find Melody? I have some questions for her as well."
--- "Do you remember visiting the temples of a god of beginning and endings, who was helping crippled people, making mechanical limbs for them?" Svarik asked. "And if yes, what do you remember about him?" --- "Okay," Senecio chuckled. "If you want a surprise, can you give us a private moment to decide what we want to make?" "So, a flower from flowers?" he asked Hans when Tide left. "Or some wavy pattern for the beginning?" |
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" " When we arrived here, she was with Mole, Owl and everyone, hosting Alpha, but let's see... It seemed after a while, as vampires took care of hosting, she left to give them a bit more space to hang out with the Star, " Conrad said. Despite having ability to Listen to an extent, it seemed he was not used to using it for longer distance things, and that instead, he was asking Simbel in thoughts and reporting what he was told by him. " She should be... at kitchen now, yes. I promised her that I'll make it possible for us to grow some nice crops in the garden on decent chunk of land, not only flowers, and part of those we want to grow from plants in deeper layers, so it seems like she is conducting a survey, what kind of plants people would like trying, so she can get seeds from Spirit world one of these days. You can find her there. As for whether I have anything more to say... You can not melt caution or apprehensiveness with words alone. Words not backed by actions are empty things. It is natural to feel insecure in new situations even if you accept them with your mind as reasonable, so I do not expect one talk to put everything in perfect place for either of us. So... if there's any friction or if you find yourself in discomfort over my actions, rather than being tolerant or waiting for things to resolve themselves naturally with time... may I have expectations that you will confront me about it, and talk with me so we can address things? " he asked only then, ever so slowly, carefully, as if setting his boundaries. " You may think something is obvious or natural from your end when watching me and Svarik, and I might think the same when watching you and Svarik... but it is hard to see oneself clearly. If I am making you uncomfortable, correct me, if I could do something better, inform me. I have never been in any relationships, and first one I got myself into seems so complicated, so I'm bound to be clumsiest person in it, but... I am confident in my ability to make an effort. If you give me time and chances, I will prove to you my words and actions match, " he smiled weakly, looking up, as if trying to show respect and honesty with that. Even though his smile was faint, his gaze was determined. " So, I won't tire you with empty appeals for trust... I am just informing you of my intentions. I can't promise grand results, but I can definitely promise enough effort that you would have hard time feeling excluded from the narrative, and enough transparency that fear that I may be secretly feeling jealous or dejected would feel incredulous. No words, only honest work can do that. However results turn to be, you can look forward to my efforts. That is all... "
--- Simbel's expression showed surprise, and he his hands shook very slightly, as if his control over his form wavered a little bit. He grew silent and thoughtful for a moment, before he spoke up, rubbing his fingers a little nervously, as he slowly explained. " Everything... I remember everything. That is to say, everything White Eagle knew, " he whispered thinly, as if not daring to anticipate anything, or make any assumptions, despite Svarik's clear hints. " Organizing information is a little... complicated. But it really isn't because my memory is unreliable, I swear. It is just that there was never much to know for sure, as he was clouded in rumors greatly, even among Being folk. For big chunk of unsocial Spirits, you just never know. Because of gendered language of the times, we knew he is he, and he never bothered to do anything but build things for people. Whatever he build was built exceptionally well... he always utilized all he could, with any material he had available. Even when no proper metals were available, he made do with what he had marvelously, you should see what kinds of wonders could he made even with just carving and connecting wood... It was clear by his choices of actions and lack of any ambition for power that he is one of those people with specific interests, that found their own thing and aren't really interested in anything else. He was always building so much that there was never much wonder, that he'd keep doing his own thing, and not interact with his believers much. On the outside, most uninterested ones considered he was someone who set up a religion so people can provide him with materials so he can keep easily researching and building things he likes, and providing objects he built in return. It is one of the oldest surviving religions, very widely spread... It may not look like it in current world with only Bull, but it took a lot, to be Elder God, especially one of oldest ones. But it was a little unusual, compored to bigger chunks of old religions that were more nature focused. Most Beings considered it an old, casual religion born out of sir's special interest that happened to be useful enough to make religion not otherwise special by anything last a long time. It was very crude and transactional religion to the eyes of most, not very flowery or soft spoken... But White Eagle thought otherwise. Instead of hoarding means or seeking power, the Elder God Janus sough to take in members of society otherwise deemed a burden, and give them comfortable place to grow and learn. More of a learning institution and hospital, than a temple... There was tenderness, in that practicality. And... And White Eagle believed in things he saw. No matter how mysterious the God was, there were things that were obvious - better materials were provided to the temples, more elaborate and higher quality things built for people were. That was most fundamental truth, that White Eagle was interested in, so he was not really troubled, by not being able to meet up with reclusive God right away. After all, that God, while really amazing distinguished individual, was just a small part of his large world. While he was often busy with sad depressing demon hunts, White Eagle found lot of joy, when things were more peaceful and he'd catch the free time, in finding rare and hard to get materials, and donating them. But there was never rush to it, and curiosity was strong, but not urgent. In White Eagle's mind, that God was just... a grumpy reclusive uncle that liked to build things it liked in its own corner, while he saw himself as a a blockhead unable to understand intricacies of those inventions, but felt a sense of accomplishment contributing to a cause that helped humans. White Eagle loved seeing quality of goods made soar in years when he'd be putting more effort to collect more funny rare rocks Elder God liked... The correlation between materials he donated and quality of goods was so transparent and clear, and he could so clearly see everything he gave being put to good use, that it was only thing that mattered at a time. He just... liked seeing people he could not help himself regaining their normal life. As time passed, it became natural for him, to here and there recommend or even fly himself disabled people, to temples, to be helped. So, it was a bond with somewhat unspoken casual tone, and it wasn't really deep... for White Eagle, that God was just one of countless people he felt protective and respectful toward. Just one of countless souls he wished to protect. If there was no need for physical protection, he was content, with protecting his lifestyle, and being able to provide him with enough fun rare rocks to build things to his heart's content. He never felt any urgency, because he believed that they will just meet up naturally when occasion arises. Beings are immortal, after all, so... " he gulped, looking down quietly. " It was perfectly reasonable for him to be relaxed about it and expect the meeting to happen some day in the future. So, it is not unreasonable, that he had no... means of predicting his own death... and that it somehow ended up, that he died, without ever being able to meet him at all... " --- " Flower from flowers sounds extremely adorable, but I feel like that would take a little more gardening skills to look properly pretty, since first tries are bound to be somewhat poor, but some nice wavy swirls sound like something we could reasonably pull off, " Hans agreed brightly. " As long as we can make it flowy, it can look good even if it's not symmetrical. What do you think? If you agree, do you want us to draw some sketches for guidelines, or should we freestyle it for the first test? " |
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"Will you do the same?" Lipka asked. "Tell me if I could do better? Not just towards you, but towards Svarik? As I see it, we have a unique chance to have an outside perspective of our relationships with him that’s also inside of it. We can conspire how to better make him happy, if we form an alliance."
--- "What if I told you that Tide knows him?" Svarik asked. "I've heard of him by the sea. There is a good reason why he never met with White Eagle. He is, actually, a demon, like Erdel. I can imagine White Eagle's reaction to finding out about that... But what would be yours?" --- "Let's do a quick sketch first, so that we know what we're doing," Senecio decided. |
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" If I were a kind of person that would skip a chance to make him happier, or try to isolate him so that he relies for happiness only on me, I would not be a person worthy of him. Every property or value my existence has to offer is worth nothing, if I become a kind of person that does not deserve him..." Falcon spoke rather seriously, as if telling of matter of fact things, as it was clear he pondered deeply, on just how tightly he should hold into Svarik for a long while, and what is best path to take, for him to be safe while also not stifle his growth and deny his freedom. " I do not like... when circumstances are such that he has to see all the ugly sights in the world... But to be happy, he needs to be able to go out there, and choose for himself, who to help, who to love... He is a nightingale. Gilded cage would suffocate his Song. So, bare minimum we need to do is to make sure this relationship does not shackle him in miserable situation where he loves all people in it, but those people hate each other. To make sure of it, minimum we must do is get along. So minimum we must have between us is allyship, so he is not miserable thinking any moment without him to mediate things won't turn sour. But was that not something we both knew from the start, and was allyship not the first thing I offered you when you came here? Was I not clearly trying to work with you when you argued with Svarik, to smooth things over? As someone that wants Svarik's happiness, I tried to help for simple reason that I judged Svarik with you is happier version of him. Even if you did break up, I'd be your ally as long as you need me, because it would be right thing to do, to not let a person I brought here suffer because of my friend. So, no matter what happened, my allyship was always guaranteed. But that kind of relationship is based on common goals or good, not trust. I have countless allies... All people in this mansion and partials the Organization are. I want them well and do best for them to live good lives... But people I trust to not turn on me or hurt me intentionally can be counted on one hand. Those are the people I can call friends, " he paused, tilting head slightly, as he asked, so verry quietly. " If you just want us to be allies that get along very well and think of it as friendship, we can be so easily, for sake of Svarik. Your condition was for for of us to be friends, so I hope you understand that our definitions don't match. Friendship is highest category for me, details are just semantics. Honestly... it feels so incredibly hard, trying to construct it artificially, as I prefer to keep a decent distance from other people and prefer not making any at all... but I would probably accept much worse conditions, to stay with Svarik. I am... used to living in cages, so if it meant staying with him, even if it was miserable place to be in. Even if you filled my life with misery, hate and poison, I could not bring myself to leave. " his voice was simple, quiet and cracked a little bit, as he added. " I am only willing to try so hard to aid for the actual friendship... however backwards the order of events feels, because... I am trying to... entertain the thought... that we both might not have to be as miserable as my fears are telling me. Objectively speaking, as long as we are just allies who are only connected by goal of making Svarik happy, we would only be strangers bound by one common goal. That allyship is something you had from the moment we exchanged our first greetings. The alliance you ask for is something you had by default, before we ever met, " he shook his head anew. " From the moment Svarik said he loved you, I would have been helping you, even if you hated my guts. Is is very easy to be someone's ally, even if they hate you. You never had to be nice to me, for me to choose to help you make Svarik happy. Friendships aren't just allies who get along well, opposed to allies who hate each other but work on common goals. It is something completely else... "
--- While Simbel probably had assumptions or hopes that Svarik must have heard of news of Janus at the sea, saying that Janus was a Demon seemed to be completely out of Simbel's expectations. He turned his head sharply and met king's eyes. In his gaze though, there wasn't bloodlust or hate, but he was clearly stuck in denial, unable to process it, the same way any person would be, if someone suddenly told them grass is purple. " My Sun... are you really... sure? I do not want to doubt you. It is just... White Eagle was born quite a long while after War started, and... that religion was so old, much older than the War, so much so that non one was sure when exactly it started. It would be madness, you understand, to.... to maintain religion of such scale, in such circumstances, during the War. Would... would it not be entirely reasonable... to stop it once War began? Are you sure we both mean on same person... not some smaller, local God? Did whoever you heard it from precisely say it was God of beginnings or ends? There... there might have been some smaller local Deity with same title? " his hands trembled with emotions and doubts, as he continued, so very slowly, revealing a different perspective, and a wound - not one of White Eagle, but himself. " To be honest... Whatever thing I had with Elder God was... very hard to give a name to. When I was just adjusting, to my limitation... My heart was full of misery, with knowledge I will never anew be able to go find and give him any material ever again. It were... sad times, when I was hoping for... comfort of immortals I was attached to... but was meant with grief instead... with people that would come, weep over me, and never come back anew. I understood it was hard for them to compare what I am compared to what I was and that they found it hard to watch... but it was... very hard, " his voice sounding unusually lonely and lost, as he added, so very carefully. " So, since I could not provide anything for his work anymore, I naturally assumed he would... cut little ties we had as well. It felt fortunate... that becoming helaing pond, at least I had synergy with his religion enough, that things somehow... sort of stayed the same. It seemed as if, despite the way I helped changed, as long as I was useful to his people in some way, he would not break contact, little as there was. There was... relief, in that unchanging indifference. Even if there was no warmth to it... I was really glad at the time, that there were at least some things that... I did not lose, with my death. As long as I am useful I thought... maybe I can still meet him one day. If I am helpful enough... If I always give my best... If I earned it... I hoped I could. I hoped... that I would be good enough, to be considered worth meeting, one day, " After he began taking care of and feeding Simbel well, Svarik saw it more rarely, but this time, in creature's gaze, there was clear loneliness and pained resignation that came with recollections. " A relation... so very peculiar, with so many mixed signals. We would cooperate, but never exchange correspondences. I would send people to him, he would send them to me... We would send each other money when years would be hard... but I could never figure out if anything changed between us no matter time or effort, or if it was all just matter of practicality. Once, in a really bad year, near the end, he was to build a clock tower in the city, and I was so hopeful... I was so sure, if there was any time to visit... won't be take my hospitality and invitations then, when he visit the city? Clock came and went, and he never came, yet still, he gave half of the clock money to my priests despite backlash from the kings and his own priesthood for that choice, since my political situation was... complicated at that time. I could never tell, if he concluded it would be more useful for his work if my religion stays stronger for longer, so we could help more people, if he actually wanted to help me as me in thanks for my deeds in my life, or if it was a bit of both. He was truly... an incomprehensible God, as Eldest Elder Gods often were. A God more of an Abstraction than a God. God who faithfully fulfilled that one specific function people needed, but God whom you never knew what what going through his heart or head... No matter what I tried to say or do, or the effort I put in, it was a part of my life that never changed. A constant. An immovable object that would never budge... " --- Hans took out a sketchbook and two pens and eraser from his endless bag, and together, they made sketches and combined them until they were satisfied with the full design. After that, they called Tide back and they began slowly and carefully work through design, trying to figure out how to make it as close as possible, which indeed was not that easy, being their first such experiment. Still, it seemed Tide was not overly concerned about results, just really happy that they were all having having fun together. He closed his eyes and was doing his best not to peek, and be a good flower tree and not move much, to not ruin their hard work. He would only giggle a little here and there when picking would tickle, and while a little tense at a start, as he got used to it more, he visibly relaxed. While demons could not get sleepy, it seemed that it was pleasant for him to be cleared out from cluttered huge excess of flowers, and that he was feeling very calm and at ease, like a cat being petted by beloved owner. He was purring, even so slightly and quietly, and even if not able to fall asleep, being taken care of by people he loved and trusted seemed to make him soothed and at peace. |
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"Why are you twisting my words?" Lipka asked. "Is the way I'm speaking unclear? I think that's quite possible, sometimes I have a hard time understanding some phrases that people from the city use. I wasn't talking about friendship or alliance in general. I think we already talked about that? I think I might have used a wrong word for my suggestion. Is conspiracy a better word than alliance? What I meant is that we can discuss secret surprises and such things. I think it could be fun."
--- "Just think about it for a bit," Svarik said. "Wouldn’t the fact that he is a demon explain his distance and unwillingness to meet you, even if he supported you and what you stood for? Try to imagine that I'm speaking the truth, even if it'shard to believe yet. What would you think of him after learning that?" --- Together, they created a rather simple, but elegant wavy pttern from the remaining flowers, indeed a bit like cutting a shrub into shape. "It's finished, you can open your eyes," he told Tide in front of his big mirror. |
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" I apologize if I am making it harder. I just want to make sure you understand how I interpreted your request for friendship - not as a request to be friendly ally, but a request to... build something more proper. Lot of people have many friends they to to lunch with or talk to about things they like, and there is no sin in such friendships, but I need more than just getting along decently with someone to consider them friend. So, all I am saying is, I am planning to aim for more, so I can't just contend with being your ally. Allyship is very superficial kind of relationship to me, because I am regularly an ally for people that try to kill me every other day. But founding it on fun of conspiracies, for a start... yes. That would be easier to give a try to. I mean, it would be bad if all we ever did centered around Svarik... but it won't hurt, to start from there. " despite his tries to be clear, simple and respectful, a little more unrestrained softness raised corners of his lips, as he admitted" After all, it never gets boring, overflowing someone that had nothing with everything... Whether it is food, clothes, or smallest trinket... That rascal would still smile even if I waved my hands in front of him and told him I am giving him some air. It may be harder to come up with secret surprise, since I got him used to getting presents to the point he isn't really surprised when he gets something new. If he has expectations when he sees us spending more time together plotting, it can hardly be called a surprise, so we might have to give up, trying to hide that we are preparing something from a Listener, but as long as it's a good gift, it shouldn't matter if he saw it coming, don't you agree? "
--- Creature shook its head slowly, rubbing its hands against each other as if in a defensive protective mechanism to calm himself, more in a muscle memory than conscious act of control. " Why... do you phrase your question so carefully... as if I can think of him as anything but misfortunate, for having to deal with someone like me? Whether he is powerful or weak, indifferent to others or just cautious by nature... does it not stand in any case, that he was misfortunate, to catch White Eagle's interest, and had to be forced to live with freedom that is barely a freedom, just to not be caught by him? This... really is a hard information to believe, but... What I do believe, is your judge of character. You would never talk to me of him if you didn't check what kind of person he is beforehand, and you would never inquire if I'd be interested in meeting someone if you ever thought that someone would harm me. Even if judged he were a good person now, but wasn't that great or had secret sinister reasons to lead a religion in the past, like Thief did, you would likely not bring it up actively to me, since you wouldn't want to shake my heart. You... wouldn't want to make me fear other people more, when I am overcome enough with fear even without even any rational reasons to be so, so if he were secretly horrible person, I am quite confident you would keep it secret from me. So... that only leaves one option, does it not? That he is unfortunate victim of my ignorant whims, " Simbel spoke slowly taking time to think it through, and while his conclusions may have been a little jumpy, there was still a stark difference, from the man who was frail and could barely think clearly when they first met. Man before him now was having sharp reflective thoughts and was smiling faintly, as if trying to be collected and mature, but still, his face was crumpled up with sadness and anxiety. " I... do not have enough clues, to conclude more... But whether he is strong or weak Demon, whether he was a person withdrawn from others as everyone believed, or a person who was only isolating himself for the sake of self preservation... Do any of those circumstances change my position, my Sun? Of course I... wouldn't like him to be a Demon. You... You wouldn't like that if you were in my place, either, " he finally looked down, as if not able to meet Svarik's gaze under weight of thoughts that pressed him down. " If he were a Demon... It would mean that all the times when I'd happily send my priests to help out or do volunteer work or provide his people protection in his temples, hoping I am being considerate and helpful, I'd just be creating extra work for him and limiting already pitifully small place he could exist in without worry about Hunters' gazes. When I would send him my most reliable White Eagles on errands, as signs of respect in assistance, if he were a Demon, all I would have done was sending human Demon hunters at his doors all the time. If he were a Demon... then, oh, dear... I would not be the person that was unworthy to be met because I was not useful or good enough... I was not worthy of meeting because I was not good. Not because I was a humble inconsequential pond... but because I was an awful person. Would it not... be preferable, really... if he was just a disinterested apathetic Spirit? " he clenched his fist, as he added, clearly thinking about bread with his flowers that he with care used to bake and prepare for the Deity, as he added with a defeated grief. " Then, I would not have to be a bastard, that returned his good with evil. It... would be nice, wouldn't it? If I did not end up being a person, that cluelessly thought I was baking and giving him tasty treats, best of the best I could... while it truth, I was merely giving him things that would hurt and burn him? I would be bastard that gave him poison, and he would be a poor bastard that would have to thank me for it, so his cover wouldn't be blown. While malice might be bigger sin, ignorance is a sin with its weight, too. Nobody... wants to be a person that in return for someone's good will gave back poison. Nobody would want that... " --- While Tide enjoyed being given care and attention to, in similar way Hans enjoyed being done makeup to, Demon clearly didn't have huge expectations - feeling their care and affection was enough for him. But he was smitten by the view in the mirror, leaning closer, touching the glass in front of him with wonder. " I... I did not expect it to actually work. It is fun growing flowers... It was getting a little messy with how overflowing they are, but it was nice to just be a silly fun flowers tree and be satisfied with that, I thought... But... like this... it looks... " " Like an awesome nobleman garden? " Hans suggested with bright proud grin, but demon shook his head. " It looks... pretty, " he whispered unexpectedly, with sentimental streak of joy, and even Hans seemed a little taken aback, since Tide must have seldom used such word to anything tied to himself. Demon who was quite self conscious when others perceived him as monster, despite his joy with silly new flowers, before this point only saw them an unexpected little fun quick of his new soul piece, lovely to have, but not that sightly. He made peace with the fact they will just be something silly growing around his neck and occasionally peeking out . It seemed as if he was seeing them for the first time anew. " Lovely... Like soft swirly swirls of ink in corners of poetry books. Like lines of red sand shifted by waves. I... Never thought something I have could be pretty like this... " |
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"To be honest, I would also smile if you tried gifting me some air, but because I would find that funny," Lipka said. "And surprises is just one use of it, it's also combination of our insight into any situation that arises. But I'll leave you now, I would also like to talk with Melody."
--- "Your reasoning is sound," Svarik smiled. "I'm phrasing my questions carefully because he asked me to, because he's feeling unsure about what he percieves as a relationship built on a lie from his side. He really is a demon, and would like to meet you again, if you hold no grudge against him. There’s more to it, but we'll get to that later. This is the first point. Would you like to properly meet Janus?" --- "You are pretty," Senecio said simply. "And the patterns, too." |
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" Good luck in your talk, and... you can find me here if you need anything until tonight. I am going to use the room whole day as my temporary office, " Falcon told her, watching her thoughtfully until she left.
Just as he told her before, when Lipka searched the kitchen, she found Melody there, speaking with some of the cooks, judging by her bright expression probably about deciding what seeds she was planning to gather from Spirit realm for the garden. --- " You... did not just hear about him, but talked to him in person? " Simbel's voice wavered, and he looked up sharply in surprise. He gulped, his eyes overflowing with questions, but when he spoke up anxiously, first ones he asked reflected his own insecurities and wish to do this properly. " Do... do you think... it would be better for him, if I met him or not? Do not make this about me, please. If... if he does not seem that eager to meet me, but wants to do so to placate me so he would not feel anxious of my reaction to him in future if my priesthood were to grow, you can reassure him I have no plans of ever haunting him, either because he is a Demon, or anything of our Past. As far as I am concerned, he can live wherever he wants and build things to his heart's content wherever in our land he pleases, without ever being anxious I'll turn against him unexpectedly. He... never has to look over his shoulder because of me. Even if he wishes to start his religion anew, I'd never oppose it. I'll make sure to do my part so things are never as terrible for Beings as they were in times of the Thief... So, if it's just out of anxiety, he does not have to come for that... All those things are a given, " he shook his head slowly. " In retrospective, I feel... like I have given him way more headaches than they were worth, always dragging him along with my naive yearnings for warmth. I dragged him around, and he always had to keep up with my excitement and eagerness and be on guard so he wouldn't be discovered by me... Loneliness and yearnings skew my perspective... They have, for a long time, making me blind to things I should have realized, had I not be so preoccupied with feeling sorry for myself, for being abandoned by the Spirit realm. I... do not wish to be blinded by those feelings anymore. I do not want to be a kind of person... especially to people I have wronged. Since you've met him, can you tell me... is he happy, as he is? Is he... Is Tide supporting him, so he's able to build all the things he likes without worries? Would... he be doing better if he met me or not? " --- Tide could not help it but laugh, blushing to the tip of his ears as he did so. He touched the pattern on his neck absentmindedly with his fingers, before he from the mirror turned back to them. " A pretty pattern, pretty companions, pretty furniture, a pretty setting sun peeking through the windows... " he whispered sentimentally, and instead of thanks, he suddenly leaned forth and enveloped both of them in a softest hug, and one by one, he gently laid a kiss on their heads. " And a perfect day... " |
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Lipka waited for Melody to finish the talk, and then hoined her. "May I gave a word with you privately?" she asked.
--- "I'll be honest with you, he's under Tide's protection, but he's not doing well and I need your help in, first, figuring out how to help him, and second, convincing him to let us help. He's been imprisoned and abandoned for a long time, forced to devour himself to survive. He's much like you in that, actually. But by consuming his own pain, something got twisted in his essence, and he can only eat pain now. He tries to get it as harmlessly as possible, so he's always starving. But he wants to help you instead, so I made a deal with him that he lets us try to help him too, if you agree to accept his offered boons. One is a runic tattoo that would allow this body you are wearing to leave the area of your flowers for a limited time. You could go to the sea with us, wouldn't that be great? Another thing he offers is a safety measure. A shell that would be able to close around your flowers and hide you in an extradimensional space, if the need would ever arise. It would take a lot of energy to create though, so I would be hesitant to agree to that one as long as he can’t feed properly. But the tattoo is much easier. He actually gave me the design, and with it, Zephyr can do it for you. What do you say. I know it’s a lot at once, so take a while to take it in, if you need it." --- "Nof finished yet," Senecio smiled a little. "Shall we get to our evening plans?" |
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" Of course, whenever you need, " Melody replied gently, and she let Lipka lead her to the location where they could talk away from other's gazes.
--- It truly was a lot of whiplash back and forth, and it was hard for good to register with all the bad. It seemed, though, that before daring to take good news seriously, Simbel felt he had to make sense of the situation properly and shake off the shock. " I... thought I was prepared to hear more sad things... But it seems I wasn't. Not for this, " he whispered, lowering his gaze anew. As if he was feeling faint and it was harder to focus on controlling the form, he took a step back and leaned his hand on a nearby tree. Svarik could feel a warmer stronger wave of soft air from the pond washing over them, as if the creature tried to increase the input of energy more, so it could regain proper control. Indeed, just like Janus said, it seemed the energy used to puppet the body wasn't that efficient when it was just an empty shell, without any improvement to make the process smoother, and it was harder for Simbel to move it properly when in great turmoil. Because control was lacking, Tarmagil's eyes appeared almost familiarly empty and hopeless when Simbel bid quietly, his words fumbling here and there, as if his tongue was stumbling a little. " Should I feel touched that he wants to help me... or furious, that the me in his eyes is someone that can be happy at the expense of his misery? But... I do not have the right to get angry. After all, ever since White Eagle made me, half-baked as I am... I had shown him the pitiful sight of a Beggar who is taking even the smallest things he is given eagerly, with no reluctance or dignity, " as if grief could not find any other way to escape, it got pushed into a shaky laugh, but then, it ended in a sob, as Simbel pressed his temples, hiding his gaze. " I did not give him good reasons, to see me as someone who could be a reliable ally... just someone that needs to be taken care of. I can not refute it. Indeed, a version of me he knew was lonely, frail, naive, and... and not that reliable indeed, I see. It is perfectly understandable that he would not hope for much, and yet... With all my limitations, I... I still never robbed people, like he expects me to rob him. What is this, if not daylight robbery? Does it even make sense, that us helping him back is so casually overlooked and not even given as a reasonable condition, like it is only mentioned out of courtesy, as if he expects no actual help at all? Like it is an illegible footnote in a book, only placed for the sake of formality, without serious expectation that it would be read by someone? " he still did not remove the hand hiding his expression, but his fingers were twitching bitterly. " How *dare* he think I would be able to be happy to see him torture himself with hunger for me, just because I would profit from his misery? " --- Just as Tide was about to say yes, Hans interjected briefly. " Oh, I do hope you're not planning to exert yourself before eating something properly first... How about a quick dinner, or at least some nice energy bars? I have some healthy quality ones I began packing recently if you'd rather just take a quick bite, " he turned to the actor as Tide released the hug. " I won't be as overbearing as Janus as to demand you never skip meals, but still, let's try to aim for three when we can, deal? Or at least some snacks if you plan to eat a bit later? " he negotiated gently. " Health first, then fun. In... in case you get hurt by accident and need to take some painkillers until we drag either Death or Erdel to help, you can't take them properly on an empty stomach, so since you two silly rascals are always overzealous, you must make sure to take proper precautions not to worry people around you too much, you know, my silly apple pie... " he shook his head slightly, as he admitted. " I... am currently in the process of putting together a Spirit quality level first aid kit for you, to tide you over until healing help is there in case of emergennies, but some ingredients take time to find and process, so until it's completed, we'll have to make do with medicines in the mansion, which are great, sure, but still human grade. As long as Death and Erdel are in the area, you shouldn't have to just rely on first aid for too long, but still, it's better to be overprepared than caught unaware. " |
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They sat down on a bench in front of the house, overlooking the garden. "I just wanted to know how you are feeling about this situation," Lipka said. "Our boyfriends getting together. What do you think about it?"
--- "That's about how it felt to negotiate about the deal that he wanted to offer you," Svarik said. "And I came to the conclusion that the right respone is to feel determined to figure out how to help him, and to get him to accept that help. Making deals with him is all backwards. He really wants to do something for you, and has to be pushed to accept something significant for it. So we need to negotiate, using what he wants as bait and deny it to him until he accepts our aid. Are you in with me on that? And do you think that between you and Death, we could figure out how to fix his essence? Death is always an option, but he doesn't want that." --- "Just a light snack," Senecio agreed reluctantly, looking to the ground as he knew rationally that it's alright, but still felt a bit ashamed by others knowing the nature of his plans for the evening, and taking it so pragmatically and casually. |
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" It is hard to describe it... But I guess the closest name to the feeling would be relief. I hope you do not misunderstand. It is not like I had any premonition and foreknowledge it would end up exactly like this... After all, most of the arrangement is defined in words. In slightly different circumstances, I think we could have easily just been one of those inseparable double couples, tied by two best friends, who always go on double dates together, and most of our time together would have been similar. But things were bound to turn out somewhat differently when Svarik refused to become immortal with Conrad at first... My rascal is extremely tied to sophistry. If he felt Svarik had completely equal opinions of friendship and relationship in eternity, he would have proudly flaunted being his best friend. But the moment he felt his claim of Svarik's time could be lesser as a friend, he was bound to keep fixating on it endlessly, " Melody replied softly, smiling slightly at the thought. " It was quite ambiguous between them since then, with everything seemingly fine, but Conrad always lightly distant... So I can't help, but be relieved, that they found a way to rename things in a way that breaks away the growing ice. Well, it is slightly bewildering that Svarik has been trying to seduce him just for a few days, and they are speedrunning things so madly, but they are just adorable in their own way, too, and I am not in a rush, " she grinned brightly. "Moreover, he was just so stressed out to succeed and overwhelmed, when it was just the two of us. He is wonderful, but his confidence in this one particular thing is somehow in shambles, so I am actually a little bit excited. I hope he will get more secure once he gets a better taste of succeeding, and bonds where failure does not meet the end of all things. As for my cute, dearest little Sun... he was fragile for a long while, and while Birdie did pamper him a lot, he seems a lot more secure and freed from anxiousness recently, so it's been quite delightful, to see both of them grow recently. It gives me good feelings for the future... "
--- " No... not Death, " Simbel replied resolutely. " Death, is indeed, the strongest healer in the world... But there are things I have come to realize, with reflection on various cases, especially, our handling of ill Riversong, and talking with Tide about his ways. Death is great when... someone is already dead, because in death, the ego becomes very faint, and Beings don't have as strong an urge to resist what is happening to them. So, great if someone is already dead, or if it is someone who, even if alive, is not that sensitive to soul manipulations. Most common living creatures would find great comfort in healing from Death, when it comes to smaller reasonable hurts because it isn't as hard to feel safe with him when your sense of safety isn't too far gone... but trying to heal a huge and terrible injury on live critters with Death's power and nothing else is like trying to ease land scorched from draught with a violent thunderstorm. It is better to leave it as the very last resort and try gentler things first, because... because Death's way alone would be most effective if we include dying in the treatment," he gulped, as he explained quietly, once again, using his more jumpy way of concluding things, but his words clearly showing to Svarik the reason behind an unusually heartbroken expression on Tarmagil's sunken face. " We should spend all other possibilities, before we have to resort to that one, because... Because treating such things, often includes... erasing of memories, too. Memory erasure... is a tempting thing, of course. In the last days, I have often tempted myself... wondering if things would not be so terrifying, if I would eat away the memories of White Eagle's death... of my terrible birth. But the more I think of it... more wrong it feels. I do not believe feelings would go away, just because that first memory is gone. For feelings tied to my birth to go away... it wouldn't be enough to just delete that one memory... countless others that later developed around it would have to be deleted, because... the first memory shaped them. The same goes for corruption. All memories tied to what happened have to be deleted, so since corruption is such a life-changing state that permeates all the memories... Death's healing is only full if all memories are gone, and Being is born as a blank slate. But Tide's methods proved this is not the only way... That is why I do not want it. I believe I can deal with my past, harsh as it was, while keeping all the context that shaped me... and I do not want us to carelessly delete too much of who he is, and risk him losing himself unless he chooses to, and we find no other way. He... does not deserve, as little effort, as being pressured into the easiest solution, " his voice was determined, but Svarik could see by his shaking pupils and hoarse voice that the creature was barely suppressing tears. " It is enough... that he had no one to rely on, when... whatever bad things you allude to happened to him. If only I had been able to shake off my feelings sooner... if I had shown him a side reliable enough to be confided in... No matter how long it took, if not prevent, at least I could have been sending my priests to look for him if only I realized something is wrong... But I did not know. In my eyes... he was someone who could never be hurt, " he revealed, so very fraily and thinly, from his memories, how the world has seen the end of the God of beginnings and ends. " You see... While nothing was known for sure, because of his inclination to make things and because some objects he made had space-bending properties, it was almost universally speculated that he is a Star. Even his favourite offerings were fruits and bread, so everything matched. And... you have seen Solstice and Mister Alpha Centauri. Expect with underhanded means like by a soul-stealing Thief or at the hands of lot of Demon Hunters or Demons fierce like Erdel can grow to be, Stars getting hurt... is a ridiculous notion. So... When there were some years when wars grew more common, he got into conflict with a kingdom where his oldest main temple was, where the king he raised closely from his youth threatened to burn the temple down if he did not take part in the ongoing war. After that... The Elder God took the temple away from the world and carried it with him, as if it never was, and cut off all contact with the world. No appearances were made, and no prayers were answered... We all hoped his feelings were just hurt, and that after the king died of old age, or a couple of raging wars settle down a little, he may choose to return... But king died, wars came and went, but... He never got back. It was... believed that he felt betrayed by humans and decided to end his Godhood. And I... was feeling so let down, grieving that all my effort was not enough, to earn at least one parting meeting. Of course, I thought bitterly, it is natural it turned out that way - after all, would someone like me really make much difference to a Star? " his tongue was fumbling with bad premonitions. " But if he were not a Star... All the time while I was feeling forgotten, he was locked up somewhere out there, with no one to help him. While he was suffering for long enough to get his soul twisted up, I was blind to such possibilities, convinced it's only natural a powerful Star would want nothing to do with me... He... did not deserve, for his only sorry excuse of an ally to be a fool like me... " --- " I know it's troublesome, but as long as we just develop a little habit of eating at least small snacks here and there, it will greatly help in emergencies. I will finish building first-rate first aid kit very soon, don't you worry, we just spent a lot of rare ingredients on Svarik in last few months so we need to grow some missing ones... but it will be very soon, I promise. So we just need to make sure if need be, you take them safely. One can't naturally always know in advance when you will be carried by the romantic moment, but at least when you know you will have them. Being medicines and herbs are quite powerful and soothing when taken properly, but most are terribly nauseating on an empty stomach, when consumed, or if applied too thickly... In the first hundred years after the whole... Thief thing, I was always drowning in medicine, so I had to snack often to not feel too sick, so no one knows ins and outs better than me! Habit forms easier when you have favourite little snacks, so we just need to find something you won't feel is bothered to eat even when you don't feel too hungry, " Hans explained gently, as it seemed he volunteered a bit of his own personal information, perhaps hoping it will help Senecio feel less anxious about it than if he were the only one in the spotlight. As he spoke, he reached for his endless bag, and he took out a little bakery box, and handed it to the actor. " Of course, you can summon something from the kitchen, too, but if you'd humor me, can you sample some of the things here? It's fine if you just take a bite here and there, to figure out what you like. We always have a lot of general things available and you can order cooks to make things in advance, but I am trying to come up with a list of goods outside of our regular kitchen and see if there are quality things I should order out of local shops more regularly, " he grinned a little sheepishly. " Health is important and... Suppose I am going to nag at you. In that case, the least I can do is make sure snacks don't get boring, so it doesn't feel like a chore to do healthy things," he explained, and indeed, little box was full of various different small both salty and sweet snacks and cookies, both soft and crunchy, from various rare and expensive restaurants or bakeries that one would have to wait hours in line sometimes - and while he clearly didn't wait himself, he seemed to have organized and picked the gathered items personally, because things seemed to have been selected from what he judged actor could like, as if it was a little experiment put together to cheer him up when he brings up heavier medicine questions. There were many tiny pastries with sweet and savory flavors, and there were even some special expensive cookies that tasted similar to wine, but weren't alcoholic, as Hans likely tried to get him a flavor he liked in a way that wouldn't interfere with any possible medicine he may take. |
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"That's an interesting perspective," Lipka said slowly. "They clearly are very important to each other, one has to be blind to not see it. Maybe as I entered the picture and Conrad got a bit more distant, Svarik felt the need to redefine the relationship to be able keep what they had before. So I'm partially a cause for that, too. It’s nice to be important to him, but I wouldn’t want him to be torn and forced to pick one person to be the most important, so it's actually a relief that they figured it out. Them getting more practice and confidence in love is a bonus to that, I guess. But I also wanted to talk about something else. What does this arrangement make us? Could we, maybe, spend a bit more time together to figure it out?"
---- "You did not deserve to be cut off from the sun and starved, either," Svarik said. "Your experiences are similar in that way, and maybe you can help each other in dealing with them. But first we need to do something about him still going hungry. You can't deal with a memory of starvarion while you are still hungry. But he is a demon, so you can’t help him in your way. Do you have any idea how to treat a misaligned essence that can't eat anything else but pain? Tide already treated him, and healed him as much as he could, so I suspect the issue to be deeper. How would you treat him if he were a human who can't eat anything but one single thing and is made nauseous by everyhing else?" ---- Senecio tried a few cookies, but he didn't seem to have much taste for them as he was pondering something. "You say that many of those ingredients are rare and grow slowly..." he said. "It feels like a waste. What if someone else really needs them? It feels like a waste to use them for something so stupid as me not being able to discern between just enough and too much. It's just encouraging me to be less careful. I already had to promise Erdel I will let him take any injuries from me, and that feels very personal, like sharing some of the deepest secrets with him. Wasting precious ingredients already feels like too much." |
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" Yes, if they had to be forced to only pick one person, it would be horrible... They are troubled enough, worried if others will feel unloved just because they love each other so. I don't know about yours, but my cute rascal is so self-conscious about it and afraid that if he doesn't hold our hands exactly the same amount, I'd feel like he likes me less. You can see calculations and anxieties constantly flashing through his head, and his cutest little smile whenever his silly made-up quantities are balanced, and though I do hope he grows out of it with time, I can't it, he's just too adorable, " Melody laughed, unlike Conrad who was serious and anxious if any of his words could cause future rifts, she was clearly relaxed and casual about the whole thing. It didn't seem that it was out of carelessness, though, as much as out of clear trust in Conrad and Svarik's personalities. That trust seemed to extend to Lipka, whom Svarik chose, too, and the bright smile she gave her reached her eyes. " It is fun to watch how adorable they are, but yes, it would be pretty underwhelming if all we did was watch them until they pay attention to us. On the contrary, wouldn't it be great, when they do their own cute thing if we could just relax and do our own things? There's no reason for us to just quietly wait for our turn to hang out with them, when we could hang out in the meantime. Is there something special you'd like to do today, now that we're first having proper time to talk? Spirit asked curiously. " Do you like plants, perhaps? I am planning to go on brief trip to Spriit world, and get various lovely little stuff so we can grow delicious things here at home, is there anything you'd like to grow with me? Giant strawberries are, of course, a big hit with everyone, but there are plenty of fun things I can get. Would you like to talk about plants of deeper layers with me, and pick tasty things for me to bring? I have only gone through cooks, I plan to ask the opinions of everyone in the mansion since I am trying to go through lot of people and make the best list, so everyone will have at least something fun to eat. Would you like to do it with me, too? Or if you reached out to me with specific thoughts, did you already have something in mind that you'd find more exciting? "
--- " While it is rare, there were... actually cases here and there, when Spirits would starve abnormally long, so I am sure there are cases for Demons, too. Those circumstances... are usually when Beings are imprisoned or stuck in a way they can't escape by jumping through layers, but are too strong to die quickly from lack of food... It is rare, but it happens occasionally, in natural disasters, or by sinister means. I... I mean... White Eagle was also strong, so... plan with his death, was for him to be weakened, and slowly pass away when injuries and hunger got to him... and it is not like his first instinct was to immediately give up and create Me. He held on for a while hoping for a rescue, before he saw he has no choice but to choose to die on his own terms by making Me, before hunger gets to him, so his powers wouldn't fall into enemy hands. So... it is not like I am not familiar with such things. And... even if the last thousand years were the torturous ones... I was often hungry, as a God, too, when I'd get into conflict with kings, so... so I'd know, " Svarik could feel subtle fluctuations of vibrations in the air, indicating the creature was using all of his mind to process the meadow king's request now, to find the best answer. " So, while we should definitely consult with Ben, so he can tell us more from Riversong's perspective, I know the treatment of those Spirits would always fall on Death and Riversong, and that they would do it together. I have speculations, and we should check with Ben about details, but for one fact, I know memory erasure was a big part of it, and how many memories were erased depended on how long ago it happened. So, if Spirit starved for a few years or decades and died, and if Death and Riversong could just cleanly erase those years of starvation - it is a very clear and easy solution, isn't it? If it happens right before dying, they would just... cut it off, and the effects on their original personality would be minimal. It is as if... someone healed you and erased the memories of your ordeals in Derhain fortress right after it happened. They could essentially heal you, take away memories from the time you fell asleep in your bed before being kidnapped, and then place you back in the bed - and when you woke up you'd never even know you were missing a few days in between unless you were so hurt you could trace faint scars on your soul afterwards, " Simbel whispered softly, looking at meadow king gently, as he explained. " It wouldn't be too huge a change if it happened immediately after... but if someone offered to do it now, don't you feel it would be disastrous, with just how many connected memories would have to be erased, to remove everything? Would you even remember me, when most of our memories until Long night were memories of your recovery? That's why I am absolutely against anything tied to memories. We must take the opposite way - the mildest, softest road. Just like your comparison - how a human that is starved eats at first only the lightest food, so they don't get sick more. Riversong might be a key to us forming concrete plan - but as for who can help, you already know, do you not, what is the opposite to Death, who is the fiercest healing force? Naturally... it is the mildest possible healing force... like yours, " the creature smiled very faintly, as it gently added. " Healing in death is another thing - but who is better, for healing extremely sensitive hurts, than you? Death's is too strong power, in worst case, couldn't such strong forced healing attempt even backfire, and cause further damage when it is rejected, like it did with touchy Ben? In the end, was he not helped much more by your, than his attempts? Death is too strong, and healing of Singers is too strong, as their Power and Songs are too overwhelming and powerful - so, what is best healing for such cases, if not the softest music played by a Listener, filtered down to the gentlest form through instruments? It may not seem to you, in the human world, but you are very indispensable for living Beings who tend to be more perceptive and self-conscious of their state than your average human by their very nature. There is no quality more valuable in treating living Beings, than softness, " he coughed then, before he continued, this time, so very shyly, sharing more timid thoughts. " And... If we find a better alternative, I won't meddle, but... Since I am suggesting the softest possible treatments... I am still learning, but I am working very hard, with Zephir and the others. I realized... Perhaps I am not as fiercely destructive as I thought... We are currently researching more, but as to how it all started, we were quite unsure why vampires found it so relaxing and tempting to be near me, and so... our conclusions for now are that my waters have too much of my concentrated presence and kill demons by default... but my presence is diluted enough in the air, that it soothes them without automatically triggering burning, " there was unusually bright and hopeful light in critter's eyes. " We are researching a lot, and it is much harder to move my presence precisely in air, than in water, but I am working very hard, and... What is softer touch, than the touch of air? I would need to talk of it more with you and Ben so we can come up with something concrete, but if we talk about qualifications focused on softness... don't you think the two of us are most qualified among all our friends? " --- " On the contrary, isn't it you who could most benefit from them right now? " Hans tilted his head, using his hand gestures vividly as he explained, with clear smugness fit for a Trickster God. " Normally, things may have been different - in times before Tide, this rascal, stole Death from the capital and brought him here. That bastard is in a seriously rusty and awful state from going against his purpose for so long, so what does he need more than anything? To heal freely to his heart's content, " Hans noted. " It is going to be a little annoying process, but I definitely plan to overuse him whenever healings are required, and use his as instant fix-me-ups. It will both work for his confidence, and for our people having no choice but to accept him more for his usefulness, so it is all part of my life debt returning project for him. Think about it - those medicines are for physical injuries, and most of the time, if Death can heal them instantly, why should we bother with medicine? Regarding Beings, most of them aren't as extreme case as Janus and can be healed for mild injuries just fine, so using Death as a substitute for physical hurts will instantly lower the need for medicines drastically among both Beings in our case, so there's be much more plenty to share soon. When Beings face physical injury, they most often just go through layers to heal, and only exception is things like loss of huge body limbs, where energy needed for fixing up through layers is too large, so doing it would make you fall asleep for too long - and in that cases we have Death, to instantly accelerate growth. So, most of the time, we grew and spared those plants for humans important to us, in two cases - in operations where Eros and Tide would cut them to fix something, where recovery from surgery would be important, and in bad hurts. But not, in surgeries, we'll also include that insanely specialized bastard, like in your case - with Eros and Tide doing their operational cutting thing, and Death healing humans instantly afterwards, what's the need for expensive herbs to aid recovery? Healing is instant. So, actual needs for important plants there is much more limited, and I'd probably end up just stocking them up for just in case, or selling them expensively for profit. I have enough money, so why the hell should I sell them, when I can give them to you? " Spirit shook his head fiercely, unlike Senecio, speaking quite boldly and confidently - it was clear he thought a lot, about his comfort. " Who among people important to me needs it more than you? You said it yourself - it took a lot of you, didn't it, to agree to talk with Erdel about it, and Erdel has good senses, so it's more comfortable with him, since you know it's something he'd notice anyway, isn't it? But, while Erdel is fast, there'll still be some time unit he can get to us in case of emergencies. I am not saying we can't let Death heal you - but aren't you pretty much one of the rarest people where Death's healing has huge cons? It is not that he is... unpleasant fellow... But he really is just so far removed from anything sexual, trust me, I tried in the olden days, there's absolutely nothing physical about him, I am quite certain it will take him a while to even get used to how snuggly and cuddly Tide is. He just doesn't get pleasure, so while there's no way he won't be indifferent about it, wouldn't it be extremely awkward, facing him for this with your unconventional injuries? I took it into the calculation, and by my estimate, even if it took Erdel a bit longer to arrive, I feel like he'd be healthier for you right now when you're still barely having any confidence about it all, so wouldn't you be the person who above all I know would need quality first aid kit? It's only natural you have as comfortable time as possible while you wait for help, and whether it is you who doesn't judge what was too much, or Tide gets too excited and an accident happens. Isn't it better to reach for Erdel than Death? And wouldn't it be more awkward for you, if, when an accident happens, you have to first reach out to me for good medicine, instead of just doing first aid with Tide and waiting for Erdel? I don't mind helping with first aid, but I judged you'd be too timid to ask and may even pressure Tide not to get you anything and just wait for Erdel to arrive, trying to hide it from me out of embarrassment, so that's why I thought quality first aid kits would be best fit for you, so you can cut out the middle man. You told me you'd normally barely even stay in healing quarters for long, too, and would stitch and take care of most of your wounds yourself, so isn't not having easily accessible medicine just in case not unpleasant? Even if it's not too big a deal and you perhaps choose not to call Erdel the same day, why should our youngest not have the best medicine while he waits? The notion I wouldn't get you the best things I could is just ridiculous, you know. I gave you access to the whole Vault, you think I'd stop at giving you a few herbs? " he grinned a little bit. " Should I start planting some First Aid Kits in the Vault, so you can feel free to take it, since it is coincidentally already there? It would be funny if I would catch you secretly selling or donating first aid kits, sure, but I'd rather you just use them, since they are meant for you. After all, I am not putting them together for profit or charity, but for you, you cute punk. " |
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"I love making plans for planting various things, and combining them together," Lipka smiled. "And I was just worried about plants that won't get the winter sleep they need to grow in spring, with the city getting warmer even in winter. Are you going to bring plants from other layers that are more suitable for the climate? Which ones do you want to griw here?"
--- "I'm not so sure," Svarik admitted. "Tide already tried all he could, and he is a gentle healer. I feel like there is some deeper problem that can't be only treated with gentleness, like trying to apply a healing balm to a misaligned bone without setting it properly. Or some proper medicine that we need to discover, maybe. Maybe he can’t recover properly without the energy to do so, but up until now, he has never been fully sated for his body to go out of the survival mode. He's been careful with food, rationing it as much as he could to not cause more pain than neessary. I wonder if it wouldn’t help to try treating him when he's not hungry anymore..." --- Senecio looked a bit embarassed, but he knew when to admit defeat. "Well, if it’s like that... I guess I can take it," he said, and took another cookie to not have to talk about it anymore. |
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" Normally, deeper layer plants need special conditions to grow, so they are selective of there on first layers it is possible to grow them, as conditions have to match with their native environment. But Simbel's innate nature in a cheat, as it encourages everything he chooses to grow, so this will probably be the first time where various amazing thing that could only grow in specific environments can grow in one place. As long as we only keep track of how much direct or indirect sunlight is healthy for them, and whether we plant them at more dry or wet parts of the land, if we put in enough effort, we should be able to grow things that are even hard to grow in deeper layers. Only plants we have to avoid are those that are really, really bad with moisture in the air, as air filled with Simbel's presence is more watery, but even in that, I speak of plants that usually grow in extremely dry climate. So, as long as we focus on picking plants that would be happiest here, at least in radious of couple hundred meters around the garden, Simbel's influence is strongest and saves half the trouble, " Melody spoke excitedly, with clear passion and joy, at a challenge of trying to grow things usually meant for deeper layers into this one, and having all the plants she liked in one garden. " So, instead of picking plants suitable for the climate, we can pick things that we think would be happy and loved. Giant strawberries the size of watermellons, an apple tree that grows big apples throughout the whole year, and whose apples grow with iridescent light like lanterns in the dark, and pink roses that taste bright like summer sun when you make jam out of their petals, are some of current favourites. One of my favourites is also a Singing flower, that is a type of wild berry. When you sing to it or play it music, it grows little bell shaped flowers, and learns to imitate your vocal chords as it grows, and can sing your song back to you. It is very adorable one, though, of course, it will be more challenging to grow. But since it is a golden opportunity to test what is the limit of what we can grow next to Simbel, I was thinking of getting great variety of seeds, so we can see what we can succeed in growing, and if we'll be able to produce some fun hybrids by mixing up species as they grow. Deeper layers have various slightly different rules of reproducing as plants, depending on what layer plant grows in, so it will be fun, trying to figure out if it's possible to mix things originally only meant for different layers. There are just so many possibilities, and so many things to test and try... "
--- " Regardless of what we decide to do, even if we had the strongest healing power of them all - what use is it if the soul can't stomach it? Ben's soul was the same. What use was all Death's insane skill, if soul twists and crumples in agony with the smallest touch? While more context will be helpful for me to understand, even just telling me that he can't eat anything but pain reveals an awful state of soul. You probably speak vaguely so as not to make me too sad, right? But it's enough that you say that Tide treated him already, for me to know he wasn't just injured, but Corrupted, too. Tide only treats corruption, after all. His way of healing is more in making souls able to feel extremely calm and safe enough to be People again than it is healing in the same way as yours... It is healing in the sense that it can rebuild the shattered sense of self, by repeated, consistent, always reliable safety... It is remarkable indeed, and is able to do the impossible, and pull people who lost their minds back into thinking creatures... but once they are People again, how much they can improve surely depends on many things. Most are probably relatively fine, just as most people you meet on the streets are mostly fine... but no matter how you look at it, there's no way he's been through anything near normal, if after all Tide's care, he is still so weak he is barely alive, " There was something very somber and melancholic in Simbels's eyes, as he shared his thoughts. " I do not necessarily disagree with you in principle. If we were only talking in theory, not taking his personal circumstances into account, we may have no choice but to force some change... It's true that just soothing him would feel nice, but won't change things. But think about this - what use would it be, if you set a broken bone, if person you are setting bone to is so frightened it twists and turns and breaks their neck and dies? Extreme stress combined with weakness can kill, or worse, corrupt. What use would it be, if we technically made it possible for him to eat something else, if we get him so traumatized we make something else stop working properly? Reflect on your past, too. If you jumped into my pond, I could have affected you much more drastically and quickly - but what use would it be, if we cleared out faulty stench of the crypt more deeply and quickly if it was so traumatizing it broke you in a different way, and created a worse trauma that overtook your mind? It wouldn't mean anything, without slowly easing you into it, by getting you to feel safer with it, a little more every time, even if it hurt. Even if what we do hurts him, it must be done in a way that won't feel strong enough to threaten his safety. I still think you and I are most qualified, no matter what we choose to do. It needs to be something light enough that it won't break him further, "The creature shook its head quietly, and with a thinner, fainter, but determined voice, it added. " I do agree with your idea of feeding him, though. No matter what we choose to do, and how softly we treat him... does it matter, if he is so starved he is barely functioning? In such state, any stress can make things worse. Svarik, while I... While I have never treated Demons, I have memories of White Eagle, who was used to facing violent, terrifying Demons. While theirs is voluntary, and Janus's case wasn't - Normally, Demons can choose what to feed on. Negative emotions are usually unpleasant in taste but make you stronger more quickly, especially things like anger and urges for violence. It gives you power burst... so many Demons White Eagle fought were creatures that voluntarily choose to do evil things and feed on negative emotions tied to it, to get more powerful. But such things change you... When you eat only Negative emotions too much, you have trouble eating other things, so you keep getting more and more violent, to maintain same power, and it spirals, and you get stressed out when you get less strength from same things, and do more bad things, eat more violence, and get sicker and more terrible, and begin oozing miasma and losing your inhibitions more and more, as it gets harder to break the circle. At least... at least that is my current interpretation, of lot of context of White Eagle's memories. For White Eagle, Demons were violent creatures that oozed miasma and killed humans terribly to eat their suffering, and he either tracked them down through miasma or through following the trail of their wicked deeds, " Simbel shook his head, appearing rather faint, as he spoke of those personal things. " People... that killed White Eagle. Were also Demons on the verge of corruption themselves, oozing Miasma, and greasy and fattened up with the sufferings of others. They ate bad things plentifully, and had no taste for anything good... that's why... White Eagle's suffering was delicious to them. They... They could no longer feel joy, in his suffering, Svarik. Only relief, that they... got to eat something delicious... No superior gloating. Only... Relief that they got food they can squeeze dry. I could see it in their empty souls, even then - that they were creatures that lost ability to feel anything strong that is bright and positive. Only positive emotion was relief, that... the food is plentiful. Whatever we choose to do with Janus, we... we should definitely feed him a lot before it. Both, to minimize turmoil he experiences... and to give him some positive emotion to soothe him. If he can only eat pain, he as well surely, will sure has trouble feeling any strong positive emotions, right? But feeling of relief you get while easing hunger is universal... to both People, and Monsters. Even tiniest ocean critters brighten up a little as they nibble on tiny delicious chemicals. We need to have best conditions, whatever we do, to make sure something we do doesn't Corrupt him by accident, and even more so, so he doesn't begin oozing miasma. It would be harmful, both for himself and his surroundings, and poison the world around him. When Demons are in enough stress to begin Oozing miasma, it's incredibly hard for them to stop, unless the source of stress stops. If the source of stress is feeling so hungry he ca =n barely function, once he starts, he won't be able to stop on his own. Demons... Demons that... killed White Eagle... could not slow down oozing miasma, either, until... they were full enough to not be able to eat anymore. You... have sharp judgment. The only way to minimize danger, whatever we choose to do in the end, is to feed him abundantly beforehand so that if a bad memory is triggered, his current state is still good enough that he is not pushed into survival responses immediately.... " --- " There, there, don't be discouraged. You are a thousand years too early, to win an argument with a stubborn trickster Elder God like me, our cute youngest, " Hans chuckled heartily, his mood seeming to improve more with the actor's yielding. There was a clear, soft spark, in his feelings and eyes, and, since he had been acting more freely with the actor since yesterday when he accepted him as family, Spirit felt free enough to reach for him, and to pat his back lightly as he ate, as if trying to reassure him, There was something incredibly tender, in that timid, supportive gesture, and Hans continued brightly, to cover up his own embarrassment with words. " Svarik's case was so very unique. He had to burn through an insane number of herbs and rare things every day, as it was not a matter of normal injuries, but supernatural injuries tainted by corruption. The strongest, rarest things we had were needed. It's in no way a normal common situation, okay? How often do you think, that things such as Thiefs and Crypts sully our world, or how often corrupted creatures roam around humans? Our supplies are only so low, because both Svarik, and some other people injured last Long night burned through them, but things are doing alright now, and we have Death now, so don't you worry about a thing. You were happy in the first place about being my Heir because you could get all the fun, with no heavy duties, weren't you? " he teased actor with a soft chuckle. " So, please, keep up with that pattern. You are anxious about your role in our family, but what's there to ponder complicated thoughts about? Just play with us, have fun, and eat lot of delicious things, okay? Leave weighing out what we can afford to spend or not to me, okay? If you're still troubled, thinking of other people, how about I donate equal value plants to all you spend, so you don't feel wasteful? Or how about I put extra effort and organize growing efforts with Simber Simbelmyne, in order to see if we can make those rare ingredients less rare with his help? I'll do all needed to ease your conscience. In turn, you must do your part. How are the snacks? Can you tell me what you like most, so I can have better insight when I pick next time? There's no reason for any heavy thoughts and responsibilities. All you have to do is play to your heart's content, eat what you desire to eat, and find things that spark joy to you. Don't break your family's heart, by feeling needless guilt over having good things for yourself, you cruel, lovely rascal. All you have to do is live deliciously... " |
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(OOC: that plant exists in an old czechoslovak fairytale: https://youtu.be/fMWSRl_m08A?si=PtLsJrDv8VvU4xfS :))
"I think Svarik would love the singing flower," Lipka smiled. "How are you going to gather the seeds you need? Are you going there alone or will someone bring them to you?" --- Svarik nodded thoughtfully. "I still feel like just music won't be enough, though. Like it's a puzzle that we need to figure out an answer to before we can even begin. Maybe Ben will know more, though. How is he doing?" --- "Snacks are okay," Senecio said. "I just don’t like eating much before that. Something light and not filling is fine. I think I would prefer some fruit to cookies, maybe a cantaloupe? But I'd like to talk about something else than snacks now. I'd like to ask - both of you - uhm..." he rurned to Hans and took a deep breath. "How would you feel about you joining our game sometimes?" he asked. "To be clear, I don’t mean a threesome. Well, not yet, at least. Maybe I'd be open to it in the future, if Tide is too, but for now, we're actually doing a story, and we really like the characters, and it's hard to not have anyone also to discuss it with, and maybe take a role in the story, too. I think they could use a friend they can trust, what do you think? But I wasn't sure if I should ask Tide first and only ask you if he agrees, or the other way round, so I thought it's best to ask both of you at once." |
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