Senecio adn Tide II
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( OOC: I see <3 It just seemed like something that could be worrisome, so I thought about sending a post just in case ^^
" Oh... Well, that is quite a big subject change to dump on someone that's still trying to figure out where the hell do we stand. Are you building up dramatic suspense, or is this question... important for your evaluation? " Ben sighed a little, leaning back a bit, appearing thoughtful. " But, yeah... it is probably a part of you that would not change even if much longer time had passed - the way you put everything aside when the opportunity arises to help someone your mind is bugging you to help. I mean, I'd do it even if it just helped Simbel, or if it was merely useful to you, if both you and Simbel want it, there's no reason for me to refuse. The only way I would have refused is if you were helping an enemy that would try to kill you right after they recovered, as I really am in no position to increase the number of your enemies, with how little my combat skills are going to be of use. But... That Janus guy should be alright to help unless his personality did a whole 180 degrees since the last time I checked, " Ben seemed a little wondering, rubbing his chin with his fingers, frowning slightly, as if he tried to dig out and recall something very distant, often mixing up when he addressed himself as Riversong, when putting it to words. " I mean, I doubt many people knew because few Beings paid attention to Gods. It is also a bias because your view of Beings will be coloured by the Beings you see, but actually, most Beings live in deeper layers, and only a few have a keen interest in the moral world - after all, it's never pleasant, to grow fond of people you have to watch die to old age while you remain ever young, so perhaps 95 percent of Beings never leave deeper layers and live in their little safe bubbles. Those 5 percent of Beings that are fond of humans and live in the human world one way or the other are usually misfits or non-combatants that are too weak to fit in into the Being world or victims of Being wars that can't go back. So, it's not like all Beings in the world are suffering and in danger from humans... It's just how that bitch statistics works overtime to make you sad, and believe the world is darker than it really is. Beings you are most likely to meet as a human, are Beings that want to be among humans, so it may only seem to you that all Beings are victims of humanity, because you'll most often happen to come across the weakest and most empathetic members of the race - and those who are nicest are more prone to being exploited. That said, yeah... If you're so eager to help that one, he's probably been screwed over pretty bad by humanity, otherwise, you wouldn't be so eager to jump into the opportunity to talk about it, " the creature concluded, as it slowly admitted. " I doubt much if almost anyone really figured it out, but I knew almost from the start, that Janus was a Demon God. I mean - I mean, Riversong never knew him personally. But when Death's sword was Being forged, Solstice often visited Riversong, because only Riversong could give him some special materials needed for the sword and tools to make it. Some of the tools constructed for it were for runemaking, and later, when I came across human objects that were made by those tools, and heard more of reclusive God's lifestyle, it wasn't hard to connect the dots. But... it's hard to explain, but Riversong's political situation was quite precarious, too. He was always under watchful eyes and lot of pressure from the council and Hunters, because they believed Death was going easy on him and being too forgiving to his troubles and mischief, and kept an eye on him so they could issue grievances with Death. For people who disliked Death, Riversong was often a weak point to exploit, and especially suspicious one, living on his own at Singing River and all that. So, best thing Riversong could do for Janus is stay far away from him, least gazes on him would turn to Janus, too. Well... In truth, those bastards had very good reasons to doubt Riversong, so it's not like they were wrong to be so petty about him, " Ben said sheepishly, indeed, with a little nervous streak of mischief. " First of the reasons Riversong favoured Singing river was, true, his soul healing experiments, but second was that closeness of Mountain Heart made it easier to twist music around it, and make little alcoves of music here and there, to create isolated places where perceiving things too far was hard, fit for hiding. So, wherever gazes over him faltered, under the guise of his experiments, Riversong would twist and turn the fabric around mountains as he could, to make it harder to Hunters to Hunt anything there, and easier for Demons to hide without their presence being noticed. That's why mountains close to Singing River are one of the largest suspicious activity areas and another reason why it's hard to find areas you want unless someone who knows what they are looking for and has already been there leads you. The place has been purposely altered, so yeah, it's no wonder Thief struggled to death to find that damn Heart, too.. Everything there is ever so slightly twisted, ever so subtly, barely noticeably, to make things in mountains that should stay hidden harder to find. Very few know of the extent of Riversong's powers, though, and it was done so subtly, so of course, there was never evidence pinned on him, but he was always highly suspicious for choosing to live right there instead of living the Bigshot life in Spirit world with his friendship with king privileges. Riversong did not care, though, because he was non-combatant, and he knew he never had the strength to stop the war Death hated, so the only way he could mitigate its effects somehow was to inconspicuously carve out a place fit for sheltering for those he could never take under his wing without being convicted of treason. Hm," he scratched his cheek, looking a little embarrassed. " Hmm... Riversong always thought of those actions as little things to the side, not worth much thinking about, more with righteous grumpiness than with any remorse, but.. huh... I guess I am sort of... a criminal in the Spirit world, just as much as in the human world, huh? Well... I never got caught, as you can't really catch a cosmic force in the act, so it's most important that it's not a crime that can bring you any trouble, so it should be fine. Nonetheless, the fact that I was always watched meant that there was very little I could do directly, as everything I did for Demons had to be indirect and avoid future lines so any prophets couldn't notice them, either, so I could never do anything for Janus, or afford to take a closer look at his religion. All I could do is make sure some rare orea and materials would conveniently appear where his followers would be mining from time to time, not much more... I just could not afford to look around much, always seeming a little too suspicious. I never knew when Demon Hunter could be watching me, and even White Eagle would observe me with slight suspicion from time to time, and White Eagle was famously good-willed. My composure had to be perfect. Hm... Well, I was not really worried about getting into danger, because Riversong was fearless. He had a blind, childlike trust, that Death would always bail him out, if he was caught... But being caught would mean Death would be in even more pain, because Demons would be more likely to be caught without Riversong's interventions, and Riversong would do anything for Death to not be more sad, you understand... " --- Hans seemed very proud of him, for engaging in their culture and being so enthusiastic about it, and doing his best to find himself in it. His expression was so very relaxed and content, with a spark of affection burning across it. " It is in nature of Beings as much as humans, you know... to crave to share important things with those they love. If Moonthorn is the last name you feel strongly about, we wish to have it, too, " he winked softly at him. " Just let it marinate and think it through, deal, sweet pie? As you said, you have plenty of time to get used to it and judge if it's really the one. Moonthorn is extremely cool, so if we go for it, it's great, but as I said, the metric isn't how cool something is, but how much your heart dances when you say it. The ideal last name isn't the collest or most accurate one - but one that makes you most happy. A yearned-for name is much more pleasant to share than just a cool one, so just make sure to be true to your heart. " " Yes, Tide agreed brightly, " Whether it's Moonthorn or anything else, it will only be delicious share to us if it makes you happy, it does not need to sound grand or great. Only vowels measured up and turning high numbers of happiness scale are worth digging into. Life is too short, to have a fancy dignified meal that would look good to others but not you, instead of the one you find delicious. Just like pleasure without pain isn't worth it for you, the last name without your joy in it wouldn't be worth it for us, so feel free to consider it until you know it's exactly what you yearn to be called by. " |
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"Yes, it's a bit of a jump in topics, sorry. I actually have a list of them that I wanted to talk to you about, and this one seemed like the easiest one. I'm not sure if you'll be in the mood to discuss it after we start talking about something else, so I wanted to ask about this first. I was wondering if you would be able to figure out what’s wrong in his essence and how it can be fixed. But maybe you need to see him for that, not just hear about the symptoms..."
--- Senecio nodded. "I quite like it now, but there's still the chance that we will figure out something better. Let's put it aside for now and see if it still sounds good in a while." |
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" Hearing about it more would be helpful for figuring out the details, sure, but not in the most important part - your question of, will I help you. Are you afraid that if you pour down the cold showers of truth, that I would be too depressed to talk about helping your new friends? Jokes on you, I have been depressed for years, I beat you to it, " Ben snorted faintly, as he looked at him slowly, trying to maintain eye contact even though it was hard." I... told you already, didn't I? As long as we are not helping someone that's going to stab us in the back the moment they are alright, I'll do it. If you vouch for him, that Janus guy shouldn't be half bad, but, well, even if he had couple loose screws, there's no way I ain't helping someone that can help out Simbel with whatever thing you two are doing these days that be promised to help with. Poor bastard sounds like he's going through worst starvation aftereffects, but well, as long as he's conscious enough to make deals means his mind is decently intact, so as long as we have that, you have options. So you don't have to worry about those things. From the moment I woke up, I had decided to always listen to your requests unless they seem to be the kind that would immediately stab us in the back, no matter how angry or depressed you may make me," he was smiling faintly, as if daring him, but his tries to be mischievous did not quite work, because the fragile smile was not reaching his anxious eyes." Wouldn't alternative be incredibly depressing for both of us? You will always want to help people, and I am too... useful to not ask for help. If I play hard to get, what would happen? I know you. You would remain stuck next to me, even if it made you miserable, and I would be a bastard, holding you hostage with my usefulness. No... Listen, you bastard. I am agreeing to whatever ridiculous requests you have lined up for me by default, okay?" He shook his head, as he grumbled." I will do it if it's important to you. I will do it, even if I am depressed or even if you make me cry, so you have no excuse not to be fully honest and transparent, do you hear me? Whatever you say to me, I will still help you, so...." He cleared his throat weakly, shifting as if sitting on pins and needles." You have no reason, to be worried that.. falling out with me will lock your new friends out of being helped. I... am never going to trap you and use your kindness to keep you tied to me. That won't happen, so just say whatever is on your mind. It's unpleasant to watch you restrained and tactful like this... It doesn't suit you.."
--- " It 's a deal," Hans agreed readily, standing up then, tidying his clothes." So, I guess it's a fun play time for you, right, my cute rascals? Make sure to tell me if you come up with a name for my character in the play, and what kind of name you ended up picking for the Beast King, I am super curious," he said, stretching himself after sitting for a while." I'll be working on Spirit king stuff on my mansion floor, I probably won't fall asleep for quite a while, so you can find me there if you need anything, though I imagine you'd probably be too tired to stay awake for much longer." |
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"No, you're again misinterpreting my intention," Svarik shook his head. "From now on, could you please just assume that I am not afraid of you denying me your help, and that it is not the reason behind anything I say? But once I start telling you about what Death and Xia and others have been doing, I though it will be harder to focus on how to help Janus. I'm not even sure if any of your skills will ne needed, I just wanted to know if you have encountered something similar and if you know possible treatments. Simbel's opinion is that my music might be able to help, but I'm not sure if music is enough..." Svarik said, and told Ben all he knew about Janus's condition.
--- "About the name for your character, I have one idea for the first, unflattering name," Senecio said. "How about Stretch? It could be that the general doesn't see him as being enough, and wants him to stretch himself to at least try to be." |
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" I see... " Ben nodded slightly when Svarik finished talking. " I am sorry for being presumptuous... I guess.. I am a little on the edge, having repeated this conversation in my head endlessly. And... you're right. Just because I am anxious about my own problems, doesn't mean I should treat your ask for help like it's just adding something on my to do list. It... must have been hard for you, watching him like that, and not knowing if you can do anything for him, right? " Ben's expression grew warmer, but also more determined, clearly deciding to give it his all. " Okay, listen, let's start with diagnosis first, but for treatment, we should call Simbel, because it's not something we can handle just between two of us if we're going to make actual noticeable improvement, not just lip service. That is to say - I would not need either you or Simbel, if I would handle this old fashion way. For that, just Riversong and Death would suffice. But just like I told you before, Riversong and Death can get the job done, and their synergy is usually great for a huge amount of things, but not for this... But I digress. Let's see if I can explain the situation properly first, before we discuss the solution. Sorry if it feels a little messy... There are a lot of things around it that are things those two quiet bastards understood naturally, but rarely had to put to words, so I have to put it to words for the first time. A lot of the things Riversong knew are things he would understand without talking. The annoying bastardbarely spoke a few words a year sometimes, which means I have terrible Spirit to human language vocabulary, " Ben explained, indeed, not seeming to be able to put this easily without more down-to-earth words. " Okay, starvation is unpleasant for everyone, but for humans, we just die after a while, so it's all good. But when Being starves, it's... not so good, because even the weakest Beings can last much longer without food, so they can starve for longer, which means they can get all kinds of messed up. There are various different kinds of complications with starving, but in this particular case, it's mostly about demonic starving that goes on for too long. This particular kind of case is something that only used to happen in the olden days, when natural disasters were more common and resurrection as a fact wasn't as well known so critters held onto life desperately - at later times, if they would fall under situations of starving, Beings would kill themselves right away, or not eat anything until they have to die. Why not die as fast as possible, if Death will resurrect you afterwards, right? But... this specific modern case is clearly a result of lot of bad factors matching up. Since he was a demon during the war, Death would have no choice but to erase his memories after he dies, so he could not die, anyway... Too regenerative to kill himself on his own, is a big minus, too. But even so, if he ate nothing, he'd have to die eventually. It is self-cannibalism, that was the problem. It enabled him to stay alive on technically, but it is not natural, to starve for so long. It would be weird, if it didn't mess you up, " Creature's expression was somber, as he whispered. " As I said... It looks complicated, but it's really just a result of too-long starvation. I have no human equivalent, but if we go by metaphors - let's go with a heart. Can you imagine a heart where blood runs dry, and all veins and arteries get clogged? All at once every single one gets closed, no blood runs through body and you die. But this is a very specific case - imagine not all veins and arteries getting clogged, but almost all, with only one tiny one left, pumping blood so very weakly, but barely enough so you don't die? That is equivalent, to what that crazy scary bastard did, by starving so badly, and eating his own flesh. You can imagine Demons that feed on emotions like there are different paths for different things one can eat within their souls, but if you eat none of it, paths thin out and deteriorate, or if they eat a lot of it, the paths gets bigger - that's why you often had scary Demons in war who specialized in eating violent things, they would grow more powerful as path of what they could eat would get larger, and they could digest more of that thing faster. So, you had Demons who choose to eat lot of violent things to build up their strengths quick, because unlike joy that you have to slowly earn, eating violent emotions is only a matter of how quickly you can hurt people around you to get them. But here, we have a bit of the opposite problem. As a God, he probably habitually fed on whatever was happening around him or felt in his prayers or directed at his offerings, so, decent mix of everything, with joy being rarer, naturally, but most delicious. But point is, he'd have a clear taste for various things, whatever he could find, so as long as you eat plentifully, you can't really deteriorate. The problem was that he starved, and ate nothing else, but that one single thing. But it's not like he was a violent Beast, feasting on pain of thousands, either, so that the channel through which he eats pain would be huge, and he could sustain himself easily through it alone without feeling hungry. Since he only had a bit of himself to eat, even that pain is narrow. It's like expecting to feed the whole country with river water from a stream that's not even ankle-deep. It;s not feasible, " he shook his head, before adding wonderingly. "Yes... I guess comparing it to the river would be better way to wrap mind around it. Imagine the driest, almost desert-like soul. His soul is as dry and scorched, like a land where no rain fell for centuries. Normally, if all rivers dried down, his soul would dry up fully and he'd die as a natural consequence. But a single, tiniest, most pitiful river remained, more a stream than a river, really. It's shallow and barely flows, and it's muddy and barely gets the land wet, but it gets the job done, you see. It makes it so that he does not die, and that's it. All other riverbeds where water once flowed grew empty and dry and winds filled them with dense layer of compact soil, as if they were never there. It's no wonder trying to eat any other emotion hurts like hell. All paths any other emotion could flow through had long since just gone. Expecting him to be able to eat a happy emotion is not feasible when even the smallest try to dig out at such a sensitive hurt soul would be agonising, forcing water to flow there is just like trying to dig into raw wound with fingernails to make it deeper... He's quite resilient and collected, if he only throws up and feels unwell when he tries, I'd defitelly be much more scared and throw a big panic fit if it was happening to me. Having your soul so dried up while being acutely aware how barely getting by you are? Just thinking about it nearly gives me as much panic attack as when I felt parched and burning away no matter how much water I drank, and it was a temporary state due to my soul falling apart after being shredded and inflamed too much. It would have been ten times more frightening if it was a permanent change and just ended up as my default state, as it ended up as default state for him... You do need some nerves of steel to just go along with it for three centuries like it's normal... "
--- " Oh, the General thinking I am unworthy bastard who is stretching himself to reach the tip of his toes, while in truth I am stretching myself thin on too many places in order to keep the place running? Well, can't say it doesn't suit me, " Hans chuckled. " Sure, let's go with the Strech, it sounds fun. Oh, by the way, speaking about fun - Since you fell asleep last night, I was wondering, did you have fun, listening to me narrating tales before bed? " he coughed, adding a little unsurely, as if testing a foreign ground. " I am not saying we have to do it all the time, or at all, if you didn't like it... but I quite liked it, so I wondered, at night when you're not having private time, or when you're not sleepy yet after it, how about sleepovers with reading books or telling tales? To be honest, we are currently under very unique arrangement, this has never happened before, so it all feels a little weird, I don't quite know what to do with myself. " " Oh... " Tide blushed a little, and shyly turned to Senecio to explain. " My bonds are usually not much physical, especially at the start... and even more so, while dating, no matter how much time I'd pass with the dates, I'd most often come back wherever home was at the end of the day, to Hans. This is the first time I'm having such a... physical, immediate living together arrangement, " he said, his head clearly bubbling with romantic thoughts. " It's the first time I... Am so casually living along with a partner. So, it did wreck down quite a lot of our usual home habits. Hans only has one actual bedroom, and he only sleeps there on rare occasions Alpha comes over, but most of the time, since I don't sleep and he does, he most often stays up until he's sleepy, and then naps around wherever I am like a cat during the night, while I work on something next to to him. " " Yes, that's why you must have noticed Tide has a lot of comfy sofas around his rooms, even thought he technically does not get tired or need to lie down for anything but pleasure of it. Most often, I'd nap on the sofa in Souls room, and in Sewing room, because Tide most often tends to souls or sews during night while I sleep, " Hans rushed to explain, waving with his hands, as if trying to appease him. " This whole strange situation is a first... but... it's not bad. I did not normally plan to third wheel into your relationship, naturally, and I can always take a step back during night when you two are intimate, but well... I mean, we're getting along quite well, aren't we? And it's not like Tide can always spend whole night just reading books to pass the time until you wake up... " " I do really enjoy watching over Seine while he sleeps, so reading books to pass the time, or just cuddling and relaxing is quite fun on its own, though... " " Yeah, but we sleep while you don't, so it's important that we adjust to you here and there, so you can work comfortably and don't get bored, too. It doesn't have to be always, but in days when it's convenient, I don't see why we couldn't get sleepy while telling stories or playing games, and then cuddle and nap together while you work, " he spoke as if telling this to Tide, but he was clearly glancing at Senecio, as if testing new grounds while adding. " Since we're going to be together for eternity, I don't think it's bad, to know where we stand with sleepovers. We are not a typical family unit, after all, and we all ended up living in the same house as soon as we met. I don't see why I should only have fun sleepovers with Senecio when Tide isn't around, too. If I liked him less, I'd be relieved time of socializing is done, but he can't make me like him so much, and expect me to want to hang out with him less, tsk, tsk... " |
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Svarik nodded, relaxing during the talk more as they didn’t discuss aby personal topics for a while and could just try to figure out how to help someone else, both of them on the same side of the problem. "I'm not sure how far your metaphor can be followed, but it seems to me that my first instinct to let him eat the only thing he can until he is actually sated might be right if the image is accurate. It would indeed be too painful, to try to cut new channels through rock-hard soil. But if the land is saturated with water, the soil softens, and even old blockages could dissolve with a gentle nudge. Is my reasoning right?"
--- "I'm actually not sure what I prefer yet," Senecio said. "It's a first for me as well, and it's been just over a day since I got my own room. I'm used to sleeping alone, so any arrangement is new and I can't be sure which one is better until I try it several times. I really don’t mind sleeping alone and don't need Tide to watch over me, so it's perfectly fine if he leaves to do some work after I fall asleep and you nap with him. Sometimes you could do it the way you've been used to while I'm asleep, sometimes we could have a sleepover together, or both take a nap while Tide works... although for the last one it might take some getting used to from my side, I usually have trouble sleeping when it's not dark or someone else is moving around the room if I'm not very tired. Or you could sometimes take a nap in my room while Tide works elsewhere. I think it's been a change for all of us, and we need more time to find out what suits us best." |
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" You're thinking in a good direction, for the reason why I also think synergy between me, you and Simbel in this case is much better than one between me and Death. It's just that before, there only was me and him, so there wasn't any choice, and this kind of suffering almost always left people corrupted, so healing options were even more limited. Perhaps the easiest way for me to explain to you why I absolutely do not wish to do it the old-time way is to tell you how it used to work. " Ben spoke, sounding rather more spirited and determined, too, when focused on something other than problems between them, and even a little excited, perhaps, at the thought of being able to avoid the option he spoke about. " With corruption, you have to erase memories of the trauma, anyway, so Death would have to erase all memories from the start of his starvation to the present. That's way too many memories, and if there was no other way, I'd tell you to accept it, because being healed is more important than missing a couple of centuries of memories. As for treatment for corruption itself - this is how they used to do it. Riversong can touch souls and see them closely, so he can have a decent idea of where those hypothetical "rivers" in souls used to flow, even if they are fully covered up. And, since he can mend and shape souls to his will, naturally, he can also tear them apart... which means, cutting them along the riverbeds, in our metaphor, is also possible. As long as I can touch a part of the soul, and graze across it, I can cut it where it should be cut. Basically, I'm a glorified irrigation system digger. What Riversong's task was to basically alter the soul, to force old paths open, and dig through that rock-hard soil. But your fears are right - just doing such an insane thing raw, would make even a perfectly sane soul grow corrupted in agony. If it was only him, such wounds on the soul would be too deep to heal normally, and anyone it was done to would get corrupted and drop dead during the process, like a human who you'd try to flay alive would die before you were done. But what if they were already dead, though? That's where giant cheat comes from - Death. If Being is already dead and unaware of what's going on fully while embraced by Death, Riversong can dig out what should be dug out, and then Death can use his cheated insane healing to mend the soul as new and heal those newly created gashes. Those two insane guys were super scary, really... It might seem crude, or easy, but it only worked because they were so overpowered in their fields, because one had the insane power to dig deep into the soul perfectly, and another insane power to undo the trauma done. Perfectly fine-tuned destruction, as sharp as the cut of a knife, and perfectly fine-tuned healing, done as if with a snap of the fingers. Those... two bastards were really insane, " he shook his head slowly, before adding quietly. " But what's the use of having soul patched up perfectly done perfectly without a blemish - if he'd have to die first to get treated, and if it would cost him all memories in between? If we stretch it, it might not take him all those memories, since he got uncorrupted, but he'd definitely need to part with at least memories from a decade before his corruption, up to at least a decade or two after he got uncorrupted. You may present it to him as an option, if you'd like, of course, but I am against it. After he lived such a rough life, it'd probably take him a few decades to be reborn, and he'd miss raising those kids you told me about, and much more. Both memories and time missed seem like too high a price to pay, for me at least. If there was no alternatives I'd advise you to do it nonetheless, but there's no reason not to give our best first, " there was something hopeful, and a little pleading in his look, as he gritted his teeth. " Please, give us a chance to do it differently this time. I know we can make it better than it ever was... "
--- " I can see well during the night even with lights off, I just usually keep the low lights or candles going because the light is pretty, " Tide admitted shyly. " But I can turn the lights off if you find it easier to sleep. I can work just fine on my own, it's just usually much more fun to be with someone because it's soothing to listen to another's breathing. Even when I'm apart from Hans or on some trip or an errand, I almost never go only with myself, because we tend to travel in pairs for safety. Not hearing someone breathe at night is... a little unusual. I'd rather slack off on work a little than spend the night away too often, especially since cuddling is so nice... Would trying to be quick and turn off lights help? " " Yes, we often turn off the lights, but both of us see perfectly well during the dark. So, even if I'm bored and not sleepy enough, I could also always read a book until I fall asleep on my own while we're having a sleepover if we don't fall asleep immediately. Honestly, whether it's napping with Tide or with you, I think it'd be equally nice. It was due to circumstances, but I have gotten quite used to sleeping over with you while we were writing the play, and... it's unusual not to have it, especially since we just continued the sleepover since you were ill after the play. Hm... Honestly, I don't quite like sleeping on my own, in any case, " he admitted, looking a little embarrassed, as he spoke. " Of course, no pressure, but can you give me some kind of heads up during the day, on whether you feel like having a sleepover that night or not? Just so I can make plans. Honestly, this is probably the longest I've spent in a couple of last decades, without orgies and one-night stands. I often throw parties when I get bored and don't know what to do with myself, it's just that... things as of recent have been too fun and nice, so it wasn't much on my mind, " he coughed. " Alpha's driving me crazy the last few days, anyway, so I'm not in much of an orgy mood, it'd take too much energy, but getting some one-night stands shouldn't be hard. But even I, pretty as I am, can't bring in someone handsome enough on ten-minute notice, " he winked. " So, you'll give me a heads up in advance if we'd be having a sleepover that day or not, so I can make my own plans, right? " |
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"No, death is not an option he's willing to take," Svarik shook his head. "I agree fully that we should try to avoid it even when it's even slightly possible. So do you think the line of thinking that it would be much easier to dig those channels gently if he is fully fed is in the right direction?"
--- "If neither you nor Tide like being alone at night, I think it’s either a sleepover with all of us together, or you two can do the thing you are used to. I'm fine with sleeping alone... for now, at least. I feel like I'd still need that space sometimes, but maybe I'll get so used to your presence that it will change. But for now, let me suggest a flowchart. If we're having a sleepover, then the arrangement is clear. If I don’t feel like having company, then you two do what you're used to. But if I'm alone with Tide, I might have trouble falling asleep with moving in the room, but after I fall asleep, I don’t mind it if you leave or Hans comes. I might have a prefence in the moment for you to stay and Hans joining us, or for you leaving and joining Hans, so I'll tell you if I do, but otherwise you can do what you like better. Or if Hans wants to have other company, he can tell us so that we don't disturb him. I think that way, nobody who doesn't want to be alone will be alone." |
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" We're thinking in a similar way, yes. In this specific case, we have a great advantage of him being uncorrupted and aware of things going on around him, with a body that can physically eat things. That mister Tide and Hans managed to make this into 50 percent success, so we just need to work hard, to get their 50 percent success into a 100, " Ben proclaimed brightly, wiggling his feet a little over the edge of the bed without realizing it, his thoughts and mood seeming quite lighter with a subject that distracted him with something he was positive and passionate about. " It is a huge advantage that he can eat because you can't just properly force the naked soul to consume feelings on a larger scale. They need to be taken in either through offerings or prayers, only a tiny part of emotions is taken indirectly through being in proximity. It's easiest to take in emotions directed at you, or embedded into objects, like body parts in case of pain, or things like baked food for positive emotions. So, the first step would be to overeat him to the max, lots and lots, to fill in that little stream, and have it overflow as much as possible. Right now, his soul is too tense, as you guessed, too, and it's acutely aware just how barely alive he always is. We could do it without it if we had no other choice, but there's no reason not to gorge him on food to make sure his soul relaxes enough to make digging possible without it being too awful to bare. Big minus we have is that due to trashy things he's gone through, his soul is extremely wounded and sensitive. When... when you've been through a lot, touch will bring forth the bad memories, because border between soul and body grows too thin. That's... why he's so sensitive to touch, like me. When border between body and soul is too thin, whenever your body is touched, it feels like your soul is, and when your soul is inflamed and badly hurt, well... it sucks. We have to take care of that, too, to make it better gradually, if we're going to gradually get him back to normal life, " Ben replied determinedly, raising his fist - it seemed that, now that he was physically better and was focused that he was quite energetic about it. " So, between Simbel, me and you, we can make it possible. Since his soul is so injured and sensitive, strong healing powers don't have good synergy, and as light and as inhuman touch possible, the better, to not awaken memories of those trashy human jailers. We can make variations to the plan if you have something to add to my idea, but my suggestion is this... We feed him abundantly first. Then, it's Simbel's part. Simbel is a cheat, in his own field - in stabilizing and soothing on softest possible way. He is right in that part. There's absolutely nothing that can remind one on violence or tortune tools, with that silly cotton candy's presence... We have to overfeed Simbel like hell, too, whole lot and lot, and have him use all his focus, to wrap Janus as closely and precisely as he can in his presence, as long as we work. Simbel's presence in water burns demons, true, but in air, it is not concentrated enough to burn them, so it soothes them without injuring them. The answer is air... Simbel's experiments seem to gravitate in that direction, too, so he's figuring things out slowly. Simbel can decently enough focus his presence in air where he wants, and well, ideally, if he could practice and get even closer control, so he can keep his presence as tightly around the guy as possible, it would be even more helpful, but either way, as long as we feed him a lot, it should make up to bigger extend for lack of finer control. Either way - first we overfeed both poor bastards, then Simbel wraps his presence around him - and then, it's our turn. Now, we come to your part, for the role you are a cheat in, " he smiled slightly. " That is, the softest possible healing. This is your first time treating hunger, and I am more precise in digging, while you're more fit in things that require gentleness. Besides, we want to save as much of your strength on soothing disturbed "earth" afterwards. I was thinking about touching the soul and tracking along the paths that need to be opened, so you can use music to move the metaphorical ground, while I help you along lightly, when things need to be cleared out and nudged, so we can do it with least stress possible - so it can feel gentle, but so you also don't get stuck and tire yourself too quickly, by trying to push it all by yourself. Basically, we work together in this metaphor, you, by digging things out gently, me, moving the soil you dug away as you dig, so your digging is smooth. Even if it's technically digging, because your music is so gentle, it would barely feel like a dig Riversong used to do when grazing through ground with force. Now, there's also question of what way we choose and how far we go. If we tried to from one go dig out all that has vanished to be as deep as it once was - it is my personal belief it would just be too much stress, for a soul, he could get too high fever from the stress and develop even bigger aversion to touch, or die, if we go too far from one go. We should do it smart, not just seek for one time treatment solution. We could always just focus on picking one emotion and carving deep path only for it - but how do you instead feel about going through every single path that once was, but instead of digging them all deeply, to create shallow streams for each? Biggest problem is that right now there's not a single stream but stream for pain there, and even that one is shallow. As long as there is some kind of path, and he receives positive emotions from those around him, those paths we once make gain capacity to slowly get deeper and become rivers again. I think it would feel much more freeying, to feel like regaining a lost organ, even if it is faint, than to carve out a single riverbed at a time. Just because one artery would be fully unblocked, the feeling of everything else still being blocked would feel suffocating and unpleasant, so, even if everything would still be only faintly unblocked, feeling of clarity and relief would be much better, and he'd be set up on path to recover slowly. Now, of course, having shallow river streams does mean it would take a long time, for them to deeper as much as they once were slowly over time... but it's not like we're some fairty tale ursuers, offering a one time service, right? " he tilted head curiously, waiting for Svarik's opinion. " We could first time just focus on getting him out of extreme starvation mode and creating those smallest of paths everwhere. There'll probably be fevers and chills, and pain and vulnerability and weakness to deal with at first, and whole lot of messy feelings as he gets used to eating other things since his soul will likely be inflamed at first, so it'll be good to use that chance to coax him to play for him more, no digging attached, to get that tricky soul to get more used to being handled, but either way, we can then give him time to get better nad more stable, and then try again. Whenever he visits the capital, we could just do it again, and dig deeper into those streams, and then, after things settle down and stress and fevers pass, dig again. We should be able to dig out more and more each time, stronger and healthier he becomes, and more of his trust we gain. That way, well, even if he gets only one treatment, he'd naturally get better after enough time passes, whether few decades or centuries, but if we keep doing it regularly, we could shorten time it takes for him to feel more like a person considerably. More courage he gathers and quicker we can build up trust, quicker we can patch him up. How quickly, well, depends on how much feelings he can eat and gather, so if he were living alone, I'd be worried, but since he'd be living surrounded by people, and since those kids and that girl Xia seem to like him, I think he should be doing fine... It will probably take a while, for him to not feel at least a little sick while getting used to eating other things, so he'll need lot of care and support, but as long as there are paths for things to go down, eating other things should just be hard and take practice to swallow, not agonizing like trying to swallow something with no throat would be. Trying to push food into you without throat is no different that trying to tear apart and open up the belly to push the food into the stomach. It's creepy, and painful, and ultimately won't work, anyway. We could, if you think it's better, bring in more people than you, me and Simbel, it depends on lot of things, you know Janus better, so you should have better insight into that already, but I definitely think me, you and Simbel should be core members for best results. To accomplish something this insane, we just need three people that are cheat in their specific fields, and us three are best fit for this specific task, in my opinion, at least... "
--- Tide seemed a little cheerful that he wouldn't have to stop spending the night with either of them, while Hans just smiled a little. He seemed to relax a little bit of tension he did not know he was having. " Our cute creampuff is really considerate... " he said softly. " Thank you... I am only bringing this up now because I am confident enough at this point that you'll not pretend to be fine and go along with it even if you don't really like it, so don't let me down, deal? Because I can only loaf around and snuggle with you to my heart's content if I know you're confident enough to send us away when you feel like you need to. You'll be good and promise to send this annoying clingy elder whenever you want you time, right? " he had already stolen one too many caresses, and he didn't want to overdo it and make the actor uncomfortable with being too snuggly too suddenly, so this time, he instead made a cute heart shape with his fingers and grinned at him innocently. " Tide can get overly excited and lose sight of the fact, but we all did come from too different backgrounds so I am trying to be considerate, too. For us, at first, we just had to always be together, so as soon as danger came, Tide could just grab me in his arms and we could scram, and later, it just became too natural, to be apart, and we didn't like it. You lived alone, though, so for you, not having time for yourself might feel worse. Remember, as long as I can see you're genuine about your boundaries, I'll be proud of you, but the moment you agree to something over your will, it's big argument time, got it? " he said gently, with the same warmth and feelings behind it as others would say "I love you". |
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"I think it’s crucial for him to be able to eat something else than pain," Svarik said. "That should be the goal of our first treatment. No deep digging, that’s for sure If we manage to open all channels shallowly, it would be great. But even if we manage to just open one a little, because more touch would be too stressful, it would be good. He hates eating pain. He feels guilty about it, and that can't be good for the state of his soul, either. First priority is to enable him to eat something else, so that after he gets used to it, he can be sated without any guilt for the following treatments. And there's still the question where we shall get so much pain as to make him fully sated for the first one..."
--- "I'll try," Senecio said. "I might not realize it right away, but I'll let you know as soon as I do. Maybe you could remind me to check if I get irritable without reason, because you might notice it sooner than I do. My boundaries tend to be a bit blurry, like something that feels fine for five minutes might start feeling not fine after ten." |
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This post was updated on .
" Yes, definitely not the easiest nut to crack, that one... If I was any better, I'd volunteer, but my state is not that great yet, and who knows what could happen if I get worse again. I can't... undo all your hard work, " Ben shook his head quietly, before he continued. " And despite their fast recovery, those bastard vampires are useless here, too, because their limbs quickly turn to dust and regrow after the are cut, just like Simbel's, so it's useless, otherwise, they'd basically be a free meat farm for this, but being half demon leaves their biology a little weird. Only resilient enough person we have is that bastard Erdel. I've heard I've screwed him up by overpowering him unreasonably, but because of that overpowerment, he'd probably be fine even if it took a lot out of him... But it's really not something that should be put on shoulders of one person, especially him, since, no matter how strong he is, he's still young, and I don't want to squander his potential by damaging him too much. But it is indeed hard, to ethically source pain. Even if we can, taking a little from many places instead sound better. Perhaps we could make deal with sun spirits for some blood and nails, since they are reasonable resilient. I can't heal wounds as one typically does, but I can still straighten out injuries... Falcon has quite a bit of warriors, so maybe some would be willing to help. We can't take their fresh, since it would take you too much energy to heal it back, but we can perhaps take blood more painfully, and I can put cut skin back together, with minimal consequences from our side. That should give us some numbers. Though... there was something else... that would make a big difference, that I had in mind, but it's... not in my authority to give. A concept you should be familiar with, having eaten Star Boy's and then Solstice's heart, " Ben spoke more seriously, pausing, before carefully continuing along a sensitive subject. " Eating body parts of a dead Being is... something neutral. It is something that will strengthen you, proportional to how strong Being was, no matter if you can only eat pain or not. He may not be able to feel taste when eating the body of another Being, but it would definitely strengthen him and reset some of the imbalance that makes him hungry, just like eating from Star Boy and Solstice strengthened you. If you're given Authority to eat them, as those two gave you, what you eat will affect you more. It's just that, even if they are reborn, everyone naturally hates dying, and even more so, almost no Being that loves living among others would easily accept to die - because dying means losing many years of potential bonds with others they could have had. Death always is a loss, when it means time passes for others, but not you, so Beings rarely die of their own will unless they feel like they absolutely can't go on without a little rest. Still, some are bound to die sometimes if they live long enough, due to either violence or natural disasters. With Beings having to die now and then, don't you wonder how their graves aren't places of worship or thievery more often? It's because as they die, Beings tend to subconsciously send their empty shells instructions to decay extremely quickly, so very soon after their death, not even dust remains. It's an innate instinct, to prevent other things from eating them, or for using their past flesh to harm them, because you can seriously harm someone if you steal a piece of them, whether it's hair, nail, or their remains. So, Beings make sure everything after their death decays quickly... Unless in special cases, when they want all or part of themselves to be used for something. Like Star Boy and Solstice left part of themselves, for you to eat, to help you survive the Long night. We'd have trouble convincing Beings we don't know to just die for our reasons... but... we have one dead Being on our hands right now, and he's not going anywhere, so... why not use him? I am talking about... White Eagle, " he rubbed his fingers nervously, a little unsure how Svarik will react with what he knew was a pretty bold suggestion. " White Eagle gave everything of himself to Simbel whom he created him, his powers, his memories, his sword - including the Authority over his remains. After he died, that Authority naturally became Simbel's, and Simbel chose to eat away the flesh during his first year of growth until his flowers grew out of that deep well that used to exist before it was rebuilt into a pond, but he kept the bones, since he was too attached to eat them, too. It was a choice out of sentimentality, then, but isn't it pretty great for us, to have pain that's already happened, even if faded partially over time, so we don't have to cause new pain, and can harvest the old one? Those particular bones are a great fit for Janus, because they are packed full of White Eagle's agony, with how awful having his bones broken and his arms and wings was, among other things, and they are't disgusting and half rotten like human remains would be after a while, so he can still eat them as if they are new. It's a pain Simbel could never bring himself to eat, so he would not damage the precious remains he had left, so Simbel's reluctance to have the bones damaged actually served as its own time capsule that preserved feelings in their further. The bones are still there, grown over by Simbel's rooths... It would hurt a bit, and it would be delicate operation, but I am quite handy with moving matter, and Simbel is now so well fed, so he can move his rooths out of the way much more nimbly than before, when sword was stuck there, and when moving rooths hurt. White Eagle's bones are also a very good fit for the meal, not just because of the slow and painful death White Eagle endured... but also because that guy was incredibly strong, and was also a descendant of a Star - eating from a descendant of the Star is bound to make someone who used to be a Star more susceptible to changes. It would be great if we could reawaken his vestigial ability to eat sunlight again, at least - it would be a huge help for him, if he regained the ability to eat sunlight trapped in fruit, if even the tiniest tiny bit, on a natural easier way, instead of me trying to reactivate it by force over longer period of time, as eating of sunlight is separate thing than eating of emotions. It would enrich his life, even if he got barely any nutrients, if he'd regain ability to feel the fruit's taste as he bit into them. The ability to find food tasty is as important as being able to digest nutrients. So, if we actually tried to look around and make a survey, there'd be no better body of a Being to get for him to eat, than this one. And... actually, I wanted to ask Simbel for us to take out the body, anyway... not for most of the bones, no, most of bones I wouldn't really need. But I wanted him to give me all the bones from White Eagle's wings, " Ben could not keep a faint smile from his lips, and a tender note in his voice, as he hopefully explained to Svarik. " As I am now, and since it's such a hard task, to make functional wings that suit him, I might need months or years if I had to build and experiment with making brand new wings from subpar materials. But if I used White Eagle's bones for foundation, almost all the work is already done, plus those bones are very sturdy, and won't break easily. It's almost like having ready-made foundation, like having a doll already made, and only having to sew little clothes to call it done. I might not even need a few hours, if I were to use White Eagle's wings's bones to make Simbel new wings.... I just haven't asked yet, because I wasn't sure if it would be a safe subject, with... how much Simbel changed these days, from the time when I fell asleep. But if we were to take the remains out, I'd only need wing bones, and all other bones are of no use to me, in making Simbel's new wings. Wouldn't it be a waste, to not do something with remaining bones? Simbel has clear and full Authority over them, as long as he agrees to give them away, eating everything leftover from my work would be much better use of them than having Simbel eat them. Simbel can eat everything, he has already eaten lots of power of others and their bodies, as well as even that ridiculously overpowered eyeball of Demon King Grendel. It would be something much better for Janus to eat that Simbel, who does not need that little bit of power up, when we're feeding him so much, anyway. But I... could not bring myself to ask on my own. I thought I should ask you first about the body after we meed again, since I didn't know, with all this new body new name changes, if it would be better for me to ask or not... When I last talked to him, he was still clearly attached to White Eagle dearly, and called himself White, so I can't ascertain those new changes clearly yet, having just woke up... "
--- A slight pang of pain got a little caught up in Hans's throat, but still, he smiled at him. " My dearest... there's nothing wrong with it... It is perfectly normal, for something that feels fine for five minutes to perhaps start feeling not fine after ten. Minds can be changed in an instant, and it's always valid if they change, even by completely unrelated things. That's how boundaries are supposed to work. It's perfectly natural and reasonable. Hell, I love Tide to death, but sometimes when he irritates me, I just want to tell him to screw himself and go away to pout for a few hours. And sometimes, I do it, " he said lightheartedly, finding it easier to treat the heavier subject more lightly through a bright cheerful tone, as he promised. " I know I'm pretty annoying with those talks today, but well, it's important that what's intuitive to us doesn't remain unsaid to you. You are way too nice, considerate and polite kid... It's very cute and loveable, sure, but you'd be cute and loveable even if you made some noise, so how about doing your best to make some more noise in the future, dearest? Be a proper troublemaker. Test your limits to your heart's content, and make me some headache trouble to clean up, as Tide does, " he grinned brightly at him. " There's no way we won't argue in the future sometimes, too - it's healthy to argue now and then when emotions grow too turbulent to be contained. It's important that you know you can be a little mean and selfish, and start an argument, too, without being anxious if it would sour our relationship. You can just argue or lash out when emotions are too much, you don't have to be this damn adorably polite and reasonable all the time. Either arguing with us or sending us away if you don't feel like having company at the moment will never be deal breakers, deal? You don't suck at having boundaries, your brain is setting boundaries in a perfectly normal manner... All you suck at is listening to your brain, at being self-aware of them and expressing them, but even that state isn't something to worry about. It's expected one can't do it well without practice. There's no reason to try to excel from day one - for now, I'm just proud you're aware it's something that needs to be worked on. Do your best to express yourself more when you feel feeling your actions don't match up with your feelings, and me and Tide will make sure to check here and there when you seem to be struggling, how does that sound? " |
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"Do you want to call him in now and talk about it?" Svarik asked. "Janus actually offered a way to make his vessel store some energy of his and be independant from his plant for a certain amount of time, so it would be really cool if he also had wings. But those bonesare histo decide about, and it's like giving up a failsafe, it needs a lot of trust."
--- "Okay. Yes, that sounds cool," Senecio nodded. "And now shoo, we've got plans for the evening." |
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"Wait... wait... *That's* the help Janus offered in exchange for helping him back? I.. I thought it was more along the lines of building some useful object, " Ben stammered in shock - it was clear he was ready to help out whatever they were receiving in return, but this was clearly a huge deal for him, and his mind grew chaotic. " I... I mean, of course, now that it's not just about getting the best materials for the wings, but also a matter of saving someone so messed up, even if it's hard to bring up the conversation, we have to talk to Sil about it... But... can you tell me about this first? Janus used to be crazy about putting all kinds of runes on things he made, so is it runesmithing? I was considering finding a runesmith to see if something can be done about Simbel, anyway, but runesmiths are very rare and secretive, it's hard to find one these days at all that still accepts commissions and even more so, someone that would accept a commission for non Being creature like Simbel, because such hard commission would be something taking hundreds of years to complete well. I... do we have any idea how complex and hard it'd be for him? Would... it be hard on him? On one hand, I dislike the idea of tiring him out, but on the other, it is true Simbel's small range worries me quite a lot when it comes to Demon Hunters. Demon Hunters are truly... relentless scary bastards, " he admitted, but then, almost with a little despair, not able to help himself, he carefully asked, his breath shallow and bathed. " How... how much time did he say he can buy Simbel, further from the pond? I was mostly planning on building Simbel wings solely because he loved having them, and for small distance flight around gardens, since he couldn't fly too high without straying too far from pond influence, and therefore risking falling. But, but if he would be able to have an hour at least, he could fly freely, and he'd be able to go outside of the city walls with us for a little bit, " he concluded hopefully, like Simbel, too, still not realizing the possibility of using Death's and Eros's ability to carry objects through layers to bring Simbel's body through layers quickly - it just didn't seem to be an idea intuitive to Beings, who knew dragging soul through layers would be fatal. So, even if Simbel had no soul to be hurt, it just wasn't the idea that would first fall on mind of Beings. Even this much seemed to leave him incredibly hopeful. " He, he told me yesterday that he didn't try to see beyond city walls yet, that he is saving it when we're all in the city and that he hopes he would be able to reach Nammy's tavern, the one built upon the city wall, so he could see what outside looks like together with us. If he could have a bit of time, perhaps we could lead him outside of walls, and give him a tour or orchards and waterfalls. How long does he exactly have? I... If I could see the runework, I could see if it's possible to lengthen the time a little bit more, by altering the body first... Simbel would love any minute more he could get... "
--- From slightly concerned, Hans's face lit up with a roar of bemused laughter. " See? Shoo is awfully polite and a cute way to drive away someone. My Simay is incredibly well-mannered and adorable, even when trying to drive people away, " he blew him a kiss and winked them good luck. " Have fun, you sweet rascals. This handsome bastard will go to work, so you don't have to worry, I have a lot of things piled up myself. If we don't see each other till the end of the day, have an early good night, " he greeted them, before he turned to leave, while Seneico and Tide stood up, to go on their own way as well. |
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"Designing of the runes isn't really taxing to him," Svarik said. "I have the design right here, we can apply it right away." He showed Ben the runic design that Janus drew for him. "I think Janus said it can give him about twelve hours? I don't remember the exact number, I fear. But it should be enough for Simbel to come visit to the sea. Janus also lent us his extradimensional temple in a bag, that can be carried by somene as fast as Aplha. That's how we got here in just couple of hours. But someone who could skip through the layers could also transport Simbel instantly, since he doesn't have a soul inside the vessel, so he should be able to get anywhere and enjoy it for a while before running out of stored energy. But that's not even the biggest deal Janus wanted to do with is. The biggest one is making such an extradimnsional space that could take in the core of Simbel's roots and flowers, in case of an emergency. But that would be alerady very taxing to him, and just because of that I managed to coerce him into a deal that he won't attemp it before we can try to help him."
--- "Yes, good night," Senecio smiled and then, impatiently, went to his closet so find the clothes he wanted to wear - simple ones, that he wouldn’t mind being torn. "So, are we clear on the script?" he asked Tide. "You can hide in the hallway we picked, and I'll come in a while and walk through it." |
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Ben was speechless for a moment - even the first deal must have been huge in his eyes, but throwing another thing of such scale clearly left him flabbergasted. It seemed he tried to figure out what to say, overwhelmed by emotions, but each time he would open his mouth, he'd close it back anew. Instead, he then slowly looked through the runes on the paper, that were carefully and tidily written, browsing through them for a moment. He clearly had some general knowledge about runes, even if not detailed - enough to realize the sheer effort and intent that went into its making.
"It's... it's too much. It's such an overkill, Svarik, " he finally replied in the end. " No matter what we do for him, we'd end up robbing him. This... is not a result that can come from a day or two of casual thinking. Runesmithing requires careful pondering... of the nature of things and the world... This is centuries worth of effort - fighting for every second of those 12 hours. It's... it's so excessive. I... was worried if I'd ever be able to find a runesmith idle or crazy enough to spend a few decades to maybe give Simbel an hour... But this is just ridiculous. It's... so efficient it's ridiculous. 12 hours is insane, for a human-sized wessel... Is there a word to call it, rather than overkill? " he finally said, his voice shaking as he traced the runes on the paper in his lap carefully, sounding as if he's trying hard not to cry, and only able to keep himself together by speaking about technicalities. " Still... if he's overkilling it... How can I not overkill it, too? It's for Simbel, after all. Svarik... those runes are designed to make maximum results on human-shaped body, with two arms and two legs. Of course, if we were planing to construct mechanical body, counting on such things as wings would be silly... But since we have me, we can count on extra wing surface, on parts of wings beneath feathers, where muscles are. It's a considerable part, since wings need to be strong enough for flight and for carrying load. It's almost as big size as arms are... Look. We can adjust the runes for arms, and duplicate them on wing muscles. I can make wing muscles, he can carve runes into them, and then after carving is done, I can then add feathers over tattoos. That way, we can add about 3 and a half more hours to 12 he had squeezed out... Oh, if I make Simbel tail, too, we can use part of neck tattoos here, and add half an hour more. We can give Simbel whole 16 hours, at maximum efficiency, " his finger circling one part of runes on the paper was visibly shaking, as he added hoarsely. " And... it wouldn't be possible to stretch the starting time too much if the runes were mediocre. At best, I could adjust the body to be able to store a little bit more... But we have... many advantages in our favour, the biggest advantage, just how polished this runesmithing is. If it was any less perfect, I'd be able to do less... But since it's overkill, I can add overkill on top of it, too. Besides, we have a huge advantage, that we are not adjusting normal human body. It's a body that is self-sufficient and does not need intricate internal organs, - why should we keep inefficient kidneys or liver, since his body isn't using any of that? So I can alter the details so it's maximally focused on storage, and no space inside is lost, either, and I can use my powers to reinforce and carve the runes that will appear on the skin on the inside of body cavities too, wherever there's space invisible to the eyes... Svarik... " he could barely contain his voice, from the teary vulnerable joy. " I can easily stretch those hours into a day and a half. Anything over it will be a fight for efficiency, so I can't promise more than a day and a half before I see just how much I can squeeze in, but... it is so promising because the foundation is so insanely intricate. It's... it's more intricate than runesmithing on Death's sword. His skill clearly grew a lot, since it was made, and it clearly shines more here, than in weapons. I... have such a solid, firm foundation. With a foundation like this, a fight to draw out more than a day and a half is possible in the first place. He was the first one, that fought for every second longer... Since the meticulous bastard did such a scary job, I can't fall behind. I'll buy Simbel all the seconds I possibly can to see the world with more ease, I promise... " --- " Yes... We really need to buy lots of comfortable clothes for the future, dearest... With the speed with which we're going through them, you'd soon enough have nothing to wear, so we must stack up, " Tide chuckled a little, looking bright and full of anticipation for a new unusual and exciting upcoming event. " I'll hide really well, you won't notice me at all! Give me five minutes headstart, so I can calm down my mind and get into the mindset. We wouldn't want you to be able to know right away where I am, by following my feelings of excitement like breadcrumbs, " he requested a little shyly, before with a light and excited step he went toward the hole, to get himself ready for the scene, too. |
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"How long would that take you?" Svarik asked. "We were just coming back to the sea, we only came here for a while because this is important. There’s a ball tomorrow, and I was hoping Simbel would be able to come, too. I was hoping you would be able to come, as well... But doing this properly is more important, and giving him wings and adjusting the runes doesn't seem like a job fir a day, and it would be better to not rush it. Janus spent a long time over the design, he started working on it as soon as he learnt about what happened to White Eagle. And I think a ball might overwhelm Simbel, it would be better for his first trip to the sea be calmer, when he can be given all attention instead of people organizing a big ball. But will you come with us, at least?"
--- "I also need some time to get ready and get into character," Senecio said. "More like fifteen minutes, so you don't need to rush, either." |
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Ben's face grew complicated, as he struggled to think through the timeframe and what was the wisest choice.
" It's.... a Ball where there'll be Beings, isn't it? It feels like a pity, to not have come and get to meet some of this Tide's people... He... is delightful. Despite White Eagle's past, I am sure he'll make some friends. He deserves... to not feel, like as half baked creature, and come as he sees himself. At... what time where you planning on going back tonight? Could I trouble you to at least stay a little past midnight, so we can travel through the night, and arrive in the morning? " he asked quietly, steadying his shaky voice as he tried to come up with the best options with Svarik. " I mean, yes, I am anxious about talks with... Death and Jake. But.. it's not like they are eager to see me, anyway, so it... can wait a little while. If it takes few hours by travel through that bag, we could arrive at sea in the morning even if we start the travel at three or four at night, right? You guys could fall asleep inside the bag before it, anyway, and I could enter last, after main part is done, and pull an all-nighter to finish it. It, I mean - the physical part of the work on the body. I am thinking - how he presents himself is important to Simbel's confidence, and it would be nice if he were to present himself closer to how he feels like looking for a long time. So, instead of doing everything at once, and not being able to have the vessel ready by the time of the ball - how about we do it in more than one stage? Nobody says I have to do everything at once, " he suggested shyly. " So, for a start, we could just have part of it done. How long would it take for Janus to do carvings of those original runes he envisioned? Two or three hours maybe? I could be gathering materials and start building wings and tail in that time, and finish the muscle parts while we are here, and attach wings and tail foundation when I get the body with runes back. Then spend the night building the prettiest feathers and polishing them through the night. That way, we would have a body that has lovely wings and tail, and also has those 12 hours Janus originally promised. If he spends more energy and flies, sure, it would be less than 12 hours, but still, 12 hours is insane time, so it's not like he'd fall suddenly and run out of energy - he'd still have plenty of time. For safety reasons, too... It would be nice, if he has body that can store energy, and ability to fly as soon as possible. I am hoping Demon Hunters won't be so reckless as to attack when their main potential target, Erdel, isn't in the capital , anyway, but still, Simbel would feel calmer, knowing he has a sturdier more useful defence, " he admitted shyly, as he added. " So, if... Mister Janus would be willing to see me, we could talk about the runes for wings and tails afterwards, and I can just make room, and we can do wing and tail tattoos over the next days, without a rush. It is true I'd be rushing it a bit, to give Simbel something full as soon as possible... I'd.. really like for him, to feel complete. But... more than feeling complete, he would appreciate being loved as he is, I am sure. So, I just need to first alter that body so it feels less Tarmagil's, and more his. I can always... just keep adjusting energy input over time, so I don't pass out from overwork at once. Simbel.. wouldn't be able to have fun, if he worried about me, either, so... As long as I just build wings and tail first, and leave fine-tuning of body energy input and output for later, I should just be sleepy instead of unwell. We'd still have a body that can store 12 hours of energy, and wings and tail, we'd just postpone the rest for other time, and who knows, with a little more space to add runes, perhaps Mister Janus could squeeze in a few more seconds on his own. But either way... I would really love to see Sil Simbel be more confident when meeting people, and it's important that how you feel you should look matches who you look. He... had to strip away a whole lot of White Eagle, to find himself, but muscle memory is too huge a thing to shed if he doesn't have to. It's very subtle, but I can often see slight signs that he wiggles his shoulders slightly as if in instinct to stretch his wings, and has to adjust his walk, because it's unusual for him to not have a tail. He deserves the world, least I can do is give him something nice and fluffy and comfortable. I'd need years to do it if I had to use subpar materials, but if I had White Eagle's wing and tail bones, building the rest will be a breeze, after I gather enough other materials with Mole and Owl. And you'd be able to fit it in your propaganda decently enough, right? The base vessel is still clearly Tarmagil's, we can always claim Bull blessed the vessel so it grows wings and tail, as his brother supposedly used to have. I can even make the tail look slightly like long tail of a bull, to help you out a bit. But either way, as long as we pass it as Bull's blessing, it shouldn't create any trouble for you... I wouldn't like to... make trouble for you, either, but I really want to give Simbel as much as possible, so he doesn't feel incomplete, " he shook his head faintly. " I am just not... great or smart enough, to be able to give as much as I yearn to give him. I... can't give him the ability to store energy in his body on his own, and walk outside of the city. Riversong's abilities... are trashy like that. They can do some decent things, but for biggest chunk of things, they depend on synergy with other people. He is... best when he's supplementing other's work to make it better, than when he does something on his own. That's why he was a great help with healing when he worked with Death as an assistant. But on his own, he's practically useless as healer. I can adjust body to make Mister Janus's runes work better, but I can't do anything without that base. Without having the base of White Eagle's wings, and materials I'll get with other's help, too, I'd need years to accomplish somewhat same results on my own... " --- " That's great. Oh, and since, I'll be seeing Sein Miru for a while, and might not see you until later into the night night, Senecio... Remember your safe words, and make sure you stop the game, no matter how fun, if something doesn't feel right. just because the scene is delicious, doesn't mean it's lost for good once it passes. If actors can rehearse things endlessly, we can rehearse a scene again if we pause it before it ends, there's no reason to feel like a moment in time is irretrievable. I liked my loveliest Senecio even before we made love at all, and I'd want to be with him even if we never made love again, so don't lose yourself in a character, either, promise? " he proclaimed brightly, saying the words with endless warmth, and as he did so, since he felt closer, he must have felt quite daring, for he leaned and stole a quick kiss against actor's cheek, snickering as he did so, as if he pulled of some amazing heist. |
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"If the runes don't have to be done in one go and can be adjusted later, then I agree, it seems like the best way to do it. I imagined that you need to get them right on the first go, like you can’t erase a tattoo. But you can actually erase a tattoo easily, right? In that case it would be best if we can discuss the changes with Janus. He spent so much time designing it, he will surely want to check the adjustments," Svarik said. "I'm glad that you'll come with us. We certainly can wait until morning to get back, it doesn't matter if we arrive in the evening or in the morning."
--- Senecio winked at him and then opened his closet to get ready. |
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" Thank you. If Simbel allows us, I will definitely make him the prettiest wings! You definitely won't regret, choosing to return by the morning, " Ben sighed in relief." Oh... and well, yes, I can remove tattoos. So, when I think a bit, we could always just do variations of tattoos I suggested on wings and tail, to get the body to 16 hours, and if Mister Janus comes up with a better runework for them with time, I can just remove existing tattoos and we can put new ones. Runesmithing from scratch is hard, anyway, so if he comes up with something better for wings and tail in time, we can just keep redoing it as he does, instead of having to fret that something will be ruined unless we wait for some perfect future version of runes. He can keep pondering on it a bit if he... feels willing, and I can keep adjusting the power input of the body whenever I have time, to improve it more and more over time. I guess... I might have overreacted, with my rush to finish wings and runes and output and everything with snap of the fingers, from one go. I am just... not used, to people working on... ongoing projects with me... I guess? With Death, everything was always near instant start and end, like making half of a soul for you and healing it together, because he's so overpowered. And whenever Riversong got closer to someone else, it ended sourly, so the bastard didn't leave me... much teamwork coordination expectations I could lean on. Do... you think... Mister Janus would be willing, to see me and work on this with me? And... do you think... I should go to the sea... openly or secretly? " he asked, a little more unsurely and thinly, continuing the thought. " It isn't... that I won't go. It's just that Riversong is pretty much known as Death's alleged sole friend, so I imagine he could... create some trouble if seen too much by Tide's people? But then again, I look completely different for the most part... so perhaps no one will notice it much? But still, my eyes are a pretty unique emerald colour, so I might get recognized, and it might be worse if it felt like I was hiding my identity on purpose. And... wouldn't it be unpleasant, for someone on Mister Tide's side... to work with someone on the opposing side? I mean, Riversong was an enemy only in name, but still, he was an ally of the person who started the war. That's why I had no hopes, of finding any runesmith willing to work with me in Tide's kingdom, and.. I feared making your all's life even more complicated by being seen with you. I don't want... to make this poor guy Janus's life more difficult, too, for associating with me, " he admitted unsurely, while quietly tracing the paper with runes with his fingers. " How... should I do this, to cause the least harm to anyone? It is hard to decide anything yet when I know so little. If Death... was openly there, of course, I'd not hide, but since he's not hiding himself in that mansion, wouldn't be noticed by Beings there perhaps make his situation more difficult? I was thinking about coming as quietly as I could originally, so I could just talk with you, Death and Jake. I... To be honest, I hate leaving Death there, but... I have never had the means to protect him, anyway. I am... non-combatant. But... he can travel through the fabric, and if he did not want to stay there, he wouldn't, and... the whole thing is my fault, anyway. He wouldn't be in that state had he not done his best to help me, so... The least I can do is not become a liability to him anew, but I don't know what's the best way to avoid it. " he gritted his teeth. " You... know much better how this hidden kingdom within our kingdom works, but I am still trying to wrap my mind around it. Riversong often... messed things up by accident, but back then it was fine, because Death was a king, and he could straighten out misunderstandings. But he seems to finally like where he is, even if it happens to be in the middle of an unfamiliar world, and I just can't mess this up for him... I was thinking of trying to avoid other Beingds as much as possible, to not make trouble for him, but there's no way I can miss the chance to help Simbel, so I must meet Mister Janus, to ask for his cooperation in future, and... " he admitted with guilt as if he felt bad for being so greedy. " I just thought it would be... nice... to see Simbel at the sea. White Eagle... White Eagle loved the sea, endless flights through the blue sky, and splashing of the water upon his wings. I... didn't know it was possible, to give him something like this so soon, since I didn't know when and how will I be able to find a runesmith to make a deal with. But now that I know it's within our grasp, I... wish I could see it, too. All of this... Is just so outside of any expectations... "
--- The time apart was much needed for Tide too, since he had to properly prepare too, and pick out and put on the form they have decided on, as well as hide within the shadows properly. When the actor went to the place, he found that Tide had indeed put a lot of effort into calming down and getting into the character, instead of being his usual excited playful self. There wasn't bubbliness, but a faint scent of anticipation still lingered within the air, foreboding within the silence in which nobody could be seen in the faint lights. |
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"Well, there has been a whole play presenting Death in a different light that a lot of Beings saw, but I'm not sure how open he wants to be about his presence. So far, he didn't really go out unless it was with just a few of us, and he was wearing a mask during the play. But the ball will be in masks, so you don't have to worry about being seen in public, and among Tide's friends, there's no need to hide. By the way, the play is amazing. And guess what, Erdel got the role of Riversong. It's just a background role, but it wasn’t there at the premiere, so I really want to see it again with him in it. You should see it too, it's so good. Honestly, I thought it would be harder to convince you to come. Is there something you would like to know about Death and Jake? I did talk to Jake, mostly. And Xia is there, too."
--- Senecio walked down the hall like Sein Miru. His step was cautious, bug it didn't seem like he expected to meet someone here. He was wearing siimple clothes and no makeup. |
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This post was updated on .
" Yes, I have heard about the poor child from Eros... I was quite flabbergasted, to be honest. After an eternity of holding back on making anything advanced and intelligent, the moment I'm caught unaware, I snap my fingers and bring a child soldier into the world. I felt super trashy about it, even if I didn't technically do it with my own hands, since my power was used to do it. I wanted to check on her in any case, at least briefly, when I go to the sea, but that guy reassured me she's doing well, and from what he can see, is going to do quite well, being raised with three kids her own mental age that apprentice at the theatre stage. I was a little worried since he was so vague, but from what you told me about Mister Janus, he's the one taking care of the kids and her, right? That guy was always eager to take all kinds of unwanted under his wing, so... I guess I at least don't have to worry about her being unloved. I still.. plan to check on her now and then to see if something gets wrong, but she should be doing much better with someone who wants her, than with me, who'd be taking care of her only to take responsibility. But why did you think it would be so hard to convince me? " Ben gave him a very fragile, tense smile, as he admitted. " Well, to be honest... I kind of get it. Honestly... I really, really don't want to go. Every impulse and echo of Riverson'gs mind is shouting warnings at me, telling me it will end badly. That is to say... I really want to delay, hearing... something sad, and definitive. I was... never good at breaking things off. I can... more or less anticipate, how bad it's going to be. After all, no matter how ill he is... Death can go through the fabric easily, especially when he has already been somewhere before. If he truly desired to see me right away... he could have easily came for a few moment to see me, after he heard news of me, before returning back to safety of the sea. But... he didn't. If... If Eros did not stop me, I was ready to crawl to the sea if need be, to see him, but he would not come to see me, even if it was something he can easily do. He is... stalling for time, as much as I am. He... does not want to have this unpleasant talk, either. But... If I don't take responsibility, who will? " Ben's voice was hoarse and tense, but he seemed determined, as he continued. " Eros... That annoying bastard said... that there is something only I can do, and if it's undone, I will regret it, but refused to elaborate. If he'd go into more detail, I could try to entangle and refute it and use it to delay it... but what if it's some future line, where you will all get miserable if I miss the timing for it? What am I supposed to do if I do not go, and it leads to series of accidents that leadc into some bad future? What should I do in a world where even the flap of butterfly's wings can impact the future? What if... breaking cleanly with me, is the only way they can get to a happy future? " he murmured hoarsely, as indeed, it seemed that Eros used the only trick he felt would move Riversong - fear that his actions may end up bringing those he loved dearly to a bad future, the only thing stronger than his fear of being abandoned. " So... I will go talk with Death, and Jake, and little Xia... Even if... It will end poorly... They... deserve a clear brake, and... so do you, so... " he gulped quietly, as he finally asked. " Do you really... want to see that play together with me? If not, please tell me, so... so we can see the schedule to see performance on different dates. I guess... it would not hurt to see the play, anyway, to gauge the current political situation and public opinion, and... If that guy is in the play, too, I guess it wouldn't hurt to humour him a little, and give it a watch. Now that I think about it since I am doing an apology tour, anyway, it... wouldn't hurt to stop by and have a talk with that guy, too. Erdel.... things with that guy were always so complicated, ever since we were children, " he pressed his temples weakly as if hiding his face unconsciously, as he spoke of his former enemy to Svarik openly for the first time. " It seems fate always somehow put us on opposing sides of the same coin. I always... felt so sorry toward him. At the very least, after... what happened in the council, I felt like I no longer owe him any sympathy. It felt good that I could hate him for his wrongdoings without having to have complicated thoughts. But then, he just had to be so apologetic and so earnest and helpful to you, and... I could no longer hate him properly, anew. And now, after I learned what I did to him while I was unaware, I have to feel sorry for him again? " he sighed tiredly. " I... practically painted a giant, red mark on his back for Demon Hunters to aim at, and made him so, that he'll always be afraid, that asociating with him will put you guys at danger. I... gave him way too much. Even without seeing him face to face, I can feel it, in just how depleted and feeble I was, when I just woke up, that he was a big chunk of the reason why it took me so long to regain consciousness again. I gave that poor bastard way too much, for Demon Hunters not to be terrified when they see him. It's... so frustrating. I can't believe that in such a short time, I managed not to create one, but two child soldiers. Like... I did want him to suffer over what he did to Riversongs, general Irnet and his kid Irden, and the other innocents who were caught up in that short, bloody revolution. But I never wanted... to make him feel like he's endangering his loved ones and making their lives more miserable, just by being in their presence, " he ground his teeth helplessly. " It's... an awful way to have to feel... "
--- Sein Miru could hear no steps, and see no movement. Only as he walked, and got to the darker part of the corridors, with more dimmed light, did he suddenly see the shadows in front of him growing deeper and longer,a s if drowning the light. Only, then, he felt a presence close behind him, and hear someone's low, bathed breath. " So... What do we have here? " a more rasped coarse voice echoes behind him, deeper that Tide's usual one, voice bemused and slightly curious, both with General's and Tide's feelings, as he must have wondered how the actor will respond to his more daring words and dramatic entrance, crafted carefully for the scene they put so much care into. " Did the king's little pet get lost? " |
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"Wait, why do I deserve a clear break?" Svarik asked, a bit taken aback. "You're not planning to leave for good, are you? Why wouldn’t I want to see the play apart from you? I don’t understand..."
--- There was a jolt of eager anticipation in Senecio's chest with that voice, but Sein Miru made a step back as if caught where he shouldn't be and looking for an escape route. |
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" No, well... You don't have to break away, not if... you don't want to. Don't worry, I learned my lesson, about trying to cut you out of my life over your will. After all, I did try to do it quite hard after I realized we got too close and panicked that if I am not harsh to you and break things off, I'll make you grieve too much when I die, after you give me poison you promised me after Long Night. And what did you do the moment I told you I no longer wanted to see you anymore and chased you out of my room? You wrote me a letter, as an excuse to keep talking to me by a technicality... To keep spending time with me, on a loophole rules... " Ben could not help but snort a little weakly, his smile shining slightly as if gathering up a precious memory to draw strength from it, before he gulped, and continued. " So, it's not like I am going to... throw a tantrum again. But the situation is different from back then. You no longer have to... keep me alive, or worry for me. I know very well, and that's precisely why it's so tempting... if I choose to act even a little bit pitiful, you'll fall into your bad compassionate habits, and stay with me because you'd be worried. But... what if I let you know very clearly, that I'd be doing okay... even if we never see each other again? It... wouldn't be easy... but I'll make sure of it, if the reward is your peace of mind. I can stay close with Simbel, and live at his side... without ever having to be in your sight. You can live, knowing I am okay, without having to ever see me and get a headache over me. Only... if they get the chance to clearly break off with me, without fearing like responsibility or circumstances force them to stay entangled to me, can things be fair, to people... I have troubled, " Ben kept a composed, firmer expression, it being clear he thought through this a lot and was trying to remain strong, as throughout the whole conversation, as if following his own view, of trying to do the right thing, even if he was greatly tempted to act pitifully and needy instead, so he wouldn't be left on his own. " If you knew I would be doing perfectly alright without you - would that thought bring you sorrow, or relief? If you knew you'd not sacrifice any benefits of my usefulness by not being friends with me, would you still rather want, to be friends with me? Am I now... the person you'd hope to see every day and work closely with... or the person you feel a lot of responsibility towards, but a person you're relieved to see as little as possible? Because... I can still help you out, with whoever you yearn to help, even if... we never spend time together. I can still be helpful to you, even if we're... just allies, not friends. I will make it up to you, for this expensive life you gave me, even if I release you from the bond with me. Just like me and Death don't have to be anything to each other if he says yes to my offer of freedom, but his sorry ass better not be daring to think some self-deprecating lonely shit, and think he can get away with risking his life to help me lift the curse, without me repaying that shit with anything... I can repay that debt, and be his ally, even if he chooses not to be my friend. How will either of you know, if you're just trapped in an ill-fated friendship with me you can't break off from, if I don't give you a chance to break off from it, consequence-free, and only stay, if you want to? So... I am naturally planning to give you, the same offer I plan to give Death, " a softest, most tender kind of mischievous danced upon Ben's lips, as he spoke with a lighter, tone, as if trying to, if it ends last, offer him the easiest way out to freedom, and take responsibility, in his own way, even if it was incredibly hard. " Riversong used to love playing games... But after Death got injured and the fairies died, he never played a game again. So, how about we mend it? Here, in this garden, let's play a game. I'll show you how it's done. Here in this garden, so large, and so spacious - would it not be possible, for two people to live, without ever seeing eye to eye? Two parallel lives, entwined around the Pond God they love, but merely destined not to meet? In such a large garden, can such a thing not happen, for two happy people, to live two happy lives, that never touch each other's? Here, in this garden, if you played hide and seek with me forever, where you never had to find me - would you still choose to find me? Would you want to find me? Would you miss me, and yearn to see me... even if you knew I'd get by even without you? Would it be relief or sorrow, to never have to deal with my antics again? I tried... to answer all you wished to know, so you can make an impartial choice, and if you have more questions, I'll answer them happily for you, before you feel like you can choose by what you feel sincerely. But the game will be played, and it's on you, to choose. Are you relieved you won't have to find me, or will you look out eagerly, for the echo of my step, as I look for yours? It's your turn, to decide, " he said, with all theatrics he could, to make such a difficult decision for himself lighter for Svarik, his voice shaking but for a moment, before his hand for the first time, left the paper with runes in his lap, and instead, reached for Svarik, and so very gently, pointed to him, and lightly pushed a finger to his shoulder, as if to steal the slightest touch with the pretence game, as he offered. " Here in this garden, do you wish to leave me to my own devices, to live a content life with Simbel - or do you wish to find me? Find me, only if you want to. Play with me, my poor, sweet Mister Sunshine, whom I have overflown with worries, from the very first day I met him. Play with me, as if there is no debt, no obligation, and no past between us. Tag, you're it... "
--- As he turned back, he had seen him at last, a shape of a General never seen before, but so familiar, molded with great care according to their talk, to give Senecio everything he desired in a proper intimidating villain to be afraid of. The form was large, hunched in the hallway so it would not touch the ceiling, hovering over Sein Miru. It was a form truly beastly, so fierce it felt like it could swallow all the light in the room. It was leaning on its main two hands to prompt itself off the floor, but it had many dark small and large black arms running along its back to support it - some arms resembled insect legs, hard and articulated, but some were also something boneless and flexible, but very strong, similar to octopus tentacles, some cold and slimy, some rough and sharp. Bright yellow jellyfish-like long stinging tentacles were scattered across its back, floating in the air like fabric in the wind, and unlike Tide's usual tame rounded face moulded by his amiable nature and long life among humans, this one was unpolished, rough and coarse, with large teeth, clearly archaic, worn likely in long gone times when he was less refined. https://64.media.tumblr.com/3e8ee65595eb49744ee172cf28993496/ae85ddbda774486c-8e/s1280x1920/73c7a866ffc7bffeaa44eb385b066b1bbfae31dc.jpg " My, what a willful pet. How does it dare, to not give answers to my questions? Should I take it as a sign of impure intentions? " the voice grew a touch colder and more menacing instead of neutral, vailed with a darker threat beneath it, as creature leaned its head and made one step toward Sein Miru, its head that was at man's eye level getting closer to take a better look at him. " What are you doing, wandering around the halls suspiciously so, in such late hours of the night, little one? Did our dear king's mercy dull your sense of fear? Using the chance to collide with new traitors and betray him anew while he is away, aren't you, vile little pet? " |
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"So now, that the Long night is over and you’re not dying and don't need any help, now that I can finally get to know you properly without all of that in the way, you think I should want to play hide and seek with you and avoid you from now on?" Svarik asked with an almost indignant disbelief. "No," he gave Ben a mock soft punch in the shoulder, "you’re it."
--- For a short moment Senecio bit his lip in anticipation when seeing the form, but then he assumed his role again, masking his excitement. Seeing that he was recognised and won't escape without notice, Sein Miru stood still. "I wasn’t going to meet anyone, I just wanted to walk outside for a little while," he said. "I apologize for my transgression, I know I shouldn't have left the King's chambers. If you escort me there, I will wait for him there and accept his punishment for it." |
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" You... really aren't going to take my offer of an easy way out? Wouldn't it be much easier... to leave the initiative to seek for me to you, so that I do not overstate my welcome? What if I am too natural at hide and seek? " Ben could not help but laugh faintly at Svarik's comment and gesture, despite being sensitive to touch, seeming at ease and trustful, as if no gentle gesture the king could do to him would easily startle him. He seemed a little worried, but his softer gaze could not help but reflect a little bit of tense hope. " What if I end up finding you too easily, and you get sick of me? I am always... so angry somehow when it comes to you. You... are frustrating in the same way, as that bastard Erdel was, when he was a kid, and used to eat poorly and claim that he wasn't hungry, and give his share of meals to smaller kids. How infuriating, I used to think. How can someone always have their stomach grumble, and yet claim they aren't hungry with such confidence? It always... made my blood boil. Of all the kids in the Orphanage, he was the one that always tried to mediate between others and was least mean to me, but also one I always somehow ended up in fights with. You as well... There are few people as kind to me as you were, yet I always ended up fighting with you above all others. I... caught you, you know. I can feel it, in the echo of your music, that you spent yourself recently too, over your limits, no doubt thinking yourself you'd be fine in the end, to help somebody new, didn't you? " he accused him with a little sharper sadness, clearly having recognized that time a few days ago when Svarik nearly died saving Senecio. " How infuriating, I thought as I saw you... How is it possible, after I put so much effort into strengthening your vessel before Long Night so you are less susceptible to dying and suck less at physical activities, that you managed to test your endurance so much in such a short time? Just how much more and often should I keep strengthening you, so you don't spend yourself to death helping everyone around you? Treasure yourself more, you bastard, I thought... You'll keep living, as you do, and I'll keep ever worrying, as much as I always worried for Jim... for James, whenever he'd take too big a burden onto himself, and end up getting sick from overwork. It seems my heart always goes the most, to the most troublesome overachievers and overworkers. I wanted to scold you so badly... But then I thought - what right do I have, to express my worries to you, after troubling you for so long? Do I... have the right to be? " as if gathering a little more courage, he lowered his hand, and timidly pulled at the king's sleeve. " Are you sure... you don't want to opt out from such an overbearing bond? Are you sure you wish to encourage me to seek for you? Hide and seek... is too rigged in my favour, if I'm the one seeking. My heart always swarms with worries for you, and my senses have grown too sharp - I'd be able to catch up to you too easily... "
--- " What fool do you take me for? Sneaking out so late, in times of war, while our king is away on the battlefield, claiming pure intentions when caught in the act? Who do you think you are fooling? " a cold voice berated him, and Sein Miru could feel the chill all the more intently, as the creature raised its giant frighteningly thin front hand from the ground, hand as large as him - and wrapped its forefinger menacingly around his neck, other fingers pressing slightly against his back, preventing him from trying to turn around and run. The monstrous imposing General was intimidating and froze the air around him with his harsh fierceness, and Miru felt as if both time and night air froze and his lungs filled with hoarfrost, as thin sharp nail glided along his back, and would scratch him, if not for protection of the thin shirt. In the freedom of the tease and the gesture, though, Senecio could also feel Tide's fate in him, unclouded by the dark role he played - a contrasting, pure and innocent trust actor painstakingly built throughout their relationship, the knowledge that no matter how much effort he puts to draw out the scariest, most archaic parts of him to surface, that he'll still be wanted. Only with this pure and clear trust, could the demon feel free to be this daring in such a dark role. " Who will ever believe you, you, who colluded with our enemies once already, little night slave? Do you dare sully these halls, with even more lies? Confess your sins, vile mortal, if you do not wish me to part your head from your spine... " |
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