Re: Svarik and the company II

[Mirach]

Senecio considered the answer for a moment, and possible reactions to it, and then he shook his head. "I don't want to tell you and you don't want to  know," he said simply. 

[VisAnastasis]

Tide's face grew sad and thoughtful with it.
" I do not ask things, that I do not wish to know. But if you don't feel ready to tell me, so be it... I will conclude you were young enough. " he whispered quietly. He did not remove his mask, but it seemed he turned and was glancing at actor intently, in some sad weary manner. " I won't press on this. But you did ask me some personal questions when we met, and you said I could not reply if I don't want to. If it's not proper, you don't have to reply, but I need to ask. It was the first thing you mentioned to me, after all, when I asked for you, and I remembered it for later. You asked me why would I want anything but one night stand with you. You called yourself whore before me, asking me to reconsider. Those are very harsh words, for someone to deem himself, adult or a child. " he said quietly, but firmly. " Are you afraid that I would be ashamed to be with you, if I knew? "

[Mirach]

"I am afraid that you will either be ashamed, or pity me. I don't want either of that. It's in the past and it doesn't matter anymore. I told it to you so you would know what you are getting into, and have a chance to reconsider. Since you didn't, I don't want to talk about it anymore. It's not that I'm not ready, I just don't want to, alright?"

[VisAnastasis]

" It's not comfortable subject, I understand. It's okay not to discuss it... But... It is very important, for establishing and working through our boundaries. This is not easy for me. " Tide sighed, as he added hesitantly, but to the point, honest as was his nature. " I am not ashamed of you, and I fear I am already in compassion with you, as I would be with any fine lad in your position. But I am not ashamed. You were with many men before this, I was with many men and women before, so what? It doesn't matter. I matter, and you matter. How you feel is important. " he asked, as simple as ever, straightforward. " So tell me, what do I have to do to make you.. unafraid? " he paused, before adding. " What can I do to help you to not feel ashamed of yourself? "

[Mirach]

"I don't know," Senecio said. "I don't think it's so easy that I tell you what to do, you do it, and I stop being ashamed. I'm not so ashamed anyways, I did what I had to do. I'm not ashamed before others, and I wasn't before you either, when I told you about it. But now I am, because you got deeper than anyone... and I saw that it's possible. I was content with what I had before, I didn't know I could have more..."

[VisAnastasis]

" Then we will have to improvise, it seems... together. " Tide brought himself to smile a little, despite it was hard. " But there is something, very important... That I need to give voice to. Consent is very important to me, in relationships. Everything needs to be with consent. That's why I prefer bit older lads and gals - I feel like they are less prone to rushing and can understand my boundaries easier. You are of quite suitable age for me - that's why I feel we can arrange our boundaries properly. " he cleared his throat, as he too, seemed a little embarrassed to speak of personal things like those, but still, felt too big need to. " It is unfortunate, though, that, when it were your first times... That you was so young. I imagine, way too young, to give proper consent. It carries a big baggage with itself. That is all the more reason why is this very important to me, don't you see? I want it to be clear between us, that I shall never raise my voice or hand to hurt you, in body or soul. It is important for me that you know that you can always refuse something you don't want to, without deeming it shameful. When I handle you, that's only way I am willing to. And in turn, I... but hope for the same treatment... "

[Mirach]

"I'm not used to such attitude, I fear. I already know I have to ask you about everything I would like to do, but... I'm not used to be asked. If it's alright, it's alright without asking and if not, then I will tell you so..." Senecio said.

[VisAnastasis]

" It is hard for me, I fear. I am not used to do things without permission first. It is unconcentional. I will... try to work on it, but you must forgive me at least for a while. I need more time, to learn to be comfortable with that. It is just so important for me to woo you properly, you see, so please, do bare with me... " Tide smiled a little shyly, and gulped nervously, as if working up his courage for something. " If I can ask... May I... hm.. I think I can put it like that.. May I borrow your hands for a moment? "

[Mirach]

"Like when we played the lute?" Senecio asked. "Actually, that's one thing I appreciate asking about. It would be quite startling if you didn't. And it also depends on what you want to borrow them for, but there it's enough to me if you promise that you will stop if I tell you."

[VisAnastasis]

" Of course, as I said, it is always okay to withdraw your conscent without shame, if you change your mind. So, may I borrow your hands?" He bid, and when allowed, he did not start to play up a song like last like - he just leaned a bit to him, and used actor 's hands to remove the mask from his face slowly, and leave it aside at the bed they were sitting at. He looked up at the actor with his pierching blue eyes, and amids its chaos and wonders, there was something soft and delightful, a tender desire, a passionate warmth, glowing as he innocently grinned to actor.

[Mirach]

Senecio smiled, looking into his eyes with an enthralled expression.

[VisAnastasis]

With that response to his look, critter beamed, and he trembled with emotions, as he slowly leaned closer, until he almost was touching lad's face, looking at him as if he was most charming, beautiful thing on face of this earth.
" May I borrow your lips?" He asked innocently  to his ear then, with bathed breath, waiting for the response, as if he tried to find creative way to bid may he kiss him, not wanting to do something intimate like that after what he learned of actor if it is unwelcome, despite desiring so in this moment.

[Mirach]

"No," Senecio grinned. "I need them right now," he said and leaned forth to kiss Tide.

[VisAnastasis]

Critter kissed him back fervently, and kiss turned into a shy heartfelt chuckle, and chuckle turned into a passionate kiss anew, as Tide slowly enveloed his trembling hands aside actor 's face, in a caress.

[Mirach]

Senecio closed his eyes, focusing on th kiss with all his senses as he was savouring it.

[VisAnastasis]

Creature returned his passion, his strong feelings seeming to need some kind of outlet, as if he had a thirst that he had to sate. But as he sated that passion a little, he slowly restrained himself, as if afraid to hurt him by going any further.
He did not pull back, though. It seemed there was still some desire in him, to show actor that he cares for him... and so instead, he shyly took freedom to let his hands to pass from the face to lad's back, as the kiss bloomed in its natural fruition into a hug.  The kindhearted demon embraced the little actor, in act of care reminiscent of one of a child, honest and tender. Like this, holding him close, Senecio could hear demon's heart, beating fast in aftermath of the thriling kiss, and touch of his hands and soft cloak felt safe and soothing, like a distant smell of glistening stars.

[Mirach]

Senecio kept his eyes closed, relaxing slowly after the tense expectation of Tide's reaction to the letter. 

[VisAnastasis]

Tide gave himself the freedom to keep embracing him, holding him gently, as actor began relaxing, starting to slowly relax too.
" It only seemed apropriate, like this..." he whispered to his ear gently." I wanted to tell you... you do not need to fear my opinion of you. I decided to go into this, already knowing what you did. There is no malice in your heart, and that is very important for me. I believe you will make ammends. I need you to know, that I would not say it if I didn't mean the words..." he shyly and lightly caresed actor 's hair, before adding." And what I am saying - is that I forgive you. There is no grudge between us. "

[Mirach]

"Just so?" Senecio asked with surprise, opening his eyes.

[VisAnastasis]

" Just so." Tide confirmed simply, as a fact, without any dramatic sense to it, as if truth came natural and simple to him." I sought to understand, and to best of my means, I feel I did. I am hurt over suffering of my friends from capital and my nephew, true, but I can not pretend I am angry with you when I am not... like in your youth, you only did what you felt you had no choice but to do. And I forgive you. Just so ."

[Mirach]

"It just seems to easy..." Senecio murmured a bit uncertainly. "I know you are saying the truth, but it's still hard to believe."

[VisAnastasis]

" Come on, whatever I do, you find hard to believe..." Creature chuckled suddenly, his laugh contagious but bright in its innocent bemusement." First, it was that I want to bid for your life, then it was that king wanted to spare you anyway, then you deemed whole night when I asked to date you was too good to be true as well - and now this? Heh, really..." he snorted through his nose, as if he found it adorable, as he added. " When will I be able to say anything kind and decent, and have you believe it from the start to be real? "

[Mirach]

"I don't know, but it will take some time, I guess. I'm used to deal with people who always have some selfish motives..."

[VisAnastasis]

" I am totaly selfish too. I will do anything, to keep the one that looks at me with such wonder. I want to make you fall so deeply for me, that you could never imagine yourself without me. I am totaly selfish, you see, and will use all means I have to get to that goal...  " Critter said innocently, as he was slowly and wonderingly caressing lad's back. " Oh, dearest little boy! I am going to spoil you so much, just you wait... Just you wait, I will bring sunshine to your heart and rainbows to your eyes!" He proclaimed boldly, as he could not help but hug him a little closer, a bit too tight, but with well intent. " I will woo... no... I will love you properly..."

[Mirach]

Senecio smiled with that. "I still don't know why you would want to do that, but I believe you..."