Senecio adn Tide II

[VisAnastasis]

" Indeed, the patient is really secretive and evasive, it's pure luck I got any medical history from him. " Tide didn't blink twice before replying, as it seemed he found it easier to be direct with Death with time, relaxing more in his demeanour and words. " Say... since you won't seem to be willing to promote me anytime soon, as a healer, can you pass onto something to the patient? Yes, damage from miasma does worry me the most, because it is the deepest messiest wound, and because it is still inflamed after such long time. I don't think, even if he ate the golden apple, that much of his missing layer of the soul will regrow unless we first deal with that old hurt so that pain won't hinder the regrowth of the soul. " he spoke of his conclusions more freely, as he felt it was alright thing to say. " That is why I worry. Because if I waited so long and I haven't even played soul music on the sea shelf flute for him yet - how long would I have to wait for something so much more? If we never reach him, it wouldn't matter if we made a mountain of the cure... "

[Mirach]

"That's why I'd like to be Semai with you," Death said. "So that you can try to reach him. I'm really not the person you want to heal. I... I'm a defensive shell. When I had time to take in the play and the reactions to it... especially the reactions... I thought that it may be safe to try breaking that shell. But I don't know how. It's too thick."

[VisAnastasis]

Those word caught Tide's attention, and he held onto them with bathed breath and disbelief, as the request surprised him.
" I... would never use the word breaking. Ask Svarik, he has learned his lesson. Forcing it open is no better than trying to dig hundred meters through the soil.. it is backwards method..." He spontaneously spoke up without thinking beforehand, as Death's words unexpectedly inspired him. " On completely related note... Have you ever heard about Heart of the Sea, Death? Has Svarik maybe told you about his visit to it? Other than I hurt my hand to give him back his flute, have you been told anything else about it?"

[Mirach]

"Not breaking then, I don't know the best word. But you saw it, didn't you? The black hole... I know about the Heart of the Sea, but I don't think manifesting a black hole inside it would be a good idea."

[VisAnastasis]

" Everything there feels real, but it is a reflection. And since it exists on all layers, we can become Semai there, " Tide replied quietly, but confidently. " The way you speak of yourself is very impersonal - as if you think destroying the shell means setting you free. But you are not one or the other. You are both. If insides is water, the outside is ice, but it's still you. We are not shattering the ice, such things never work, " he whispered. " We are melting it. Softening it. But unless you can visualize it clearly before you, and see how our thoughts affect us, you won't be able to change your rigid way of thinking, like Svarik could not. Some things you just need to see. The black hole... I felt it. It is a very unusual way to see oneself, but do you not remember? It sucks in your feelings and thoughts, but it resists sucking in other.  I had to struggle against resistance to bind with it. It feels like a black hole because that is only thing you can compare it with your knowledge of the universe, " he grinned. " But it isn't. It is merely a reflection of what you imagine a black hole feels like. And in Heart of the Sea, you can get hurt if you are rough to yourself, but you can not die or feel hunger, so there is lot of mending place. It is where abstract concepts rule, so if you're a little creative, little imagination can do much. You said you hope for a different perspective, isn't it a different perspective on a whole different level? " Death never sow Tide grin more widely and mischievously. " Aren't you curious what wonderful primordial madness your mind could conjure up on the go? What better way to face it than in reflection we have to face as one? It's much more permanent than if you just think about it, and later forget the feeling once we are apart again. You need permanent change. Won't you change your mind with me? "

[Mirach]

"What if the primordial madness gets too much to handle for both of us?" Death asked. "Trying such a thing does feel like too much when we have only been Semai twice. It seems like learning to run before you can even stand."

[VisAnastasis]

" From all places in the universe, I am convinced there is no more fun place to be Semai, than there. There is nothing quite like letting your mind flow, and more you know yourself, more you can affect the reflection of yourself, and it's so fun, whether you are just resting and meditating, or wrestling with your thoughts,  " Tide responded with enthusiasm unexpected for him, as it seemed he's done this many times and enjoyed it, perhaps in similar way master artisan loves to play and mix with mediums. " Yes, we have been Semai only twice, but even if my mind wasn't adaptable - we are naturally highly compatible, you know. Our minds cover for each other's weaknesses and empathise the strengths, our personalities are just different enough that it's a little rough around the edges - we have space to grow. We wouldn't be there were you and me, but Us, and us there is unbeatable. We can give up at one point if we don't feel up to it and leave... but why not try? " he tempted him. " Aren't you tired of lying still, when you can run, with your lungs full? You can't run as you, your body is too feeble and unused. But let me take your concentrated power of will and borrow you strengths of my conviction and instinct. With those, we can run. "

[Mirach]

"It still sounds like a bit too much at once," Death murmured. "You wasn't even sure about being Semai right now."

[VisAnastasis]

" Well, yes, if we're doing it mindlessly, without a goal, just lost in too many thoughts, we can easily just end as a depressed Semai sitting gloomily under a random tree. Where's the appeal in that? You don't have enough resolve to pick me up emotionally quite yet. As you said, you barely have a candle of that, so if I don't lit a pyre, we'll be out cold and depressed the whole time, " Tide explained honestly. " But tell me you want this in tries to open up? Now, that's a more concrete goal to focus on. Even if we fail in the first try, trying it in itself in an endeavour I can stand behind. Even if you just end up having a clearer picture of yourself at first is at least step in direction of helping you instead of no steps, so of course, I am excited. I am so damn thankful to have a chance to make one. And, fine, we don't have to go to the Se Heart if you are too opposed, " he said finally, breathing out as if trying to curb his excitement to a less pressuring manner. " It just is... too boring for me to go there on my own. I have perfect control of my own reflection, so I can shape it into everything I can empathise myself as, and it gets old after a couple of decades. It's only a worthy challenge when there is something to deal with or overcome, or to have new experience as Semai that isn't in full control. I mostly prefer to go there as Semai for that reason, but it's not like I hundreds of Semai, or that those I do have are always up for it, so it's been a while... "

[Mirach]

"I'm not opposed to going there," Death said. "But going there on such a short notice is a bit unbalancing. Tell me we'll go in three days or in a week and I can prepare for it.

[VisAnastasis]

" Okay, we'll go there in... three days, " Tide said then, more hopeful, adding with a little smile. " If I give you more time, you'll either die from procrastination or change your mind, so if you say you will go, better not pretend like you didn't say it later, you know, " he whispered, as if teasing, but his tone more of timid endearment than anything else. " It would be a pity to miss something fun just because you took an eternity to prepare and oceans dried out in meantime, you hopeless scaredy-cat...  "

[Mirach]

"Three days sounds good," Death nodded. 

[VisAnastasis]

" It's a deal, then. But what about meantime, though? " Tide asked then. " What do you plan to... no, rather, what would you like to do? Other than becoming Semai, which we can do whenever we both feel up to it... " he left room for negotiations and he continued. " Is there anything you want to, or something I could do for you? You've healed my badly burned hand, and in technicality, you resurrected my boyfriend... " he managed a slight timid smile. " I... can not just bring myself to sincerely thank you for something... that I feel there's no way you wouldn't want. It's as if thanking a sun for rising, almost silly... But isn't there anything I can do in return? "

[Mirach]

"You let me be alone," Death said. "I appreciate that. But if you're asking what I want, I'd like to listen to you. Tell me about people and places you care for..."

[VisAnastasis]

Death rarely took the initiative to ask for anything, and it seemed Tide understood this request more as a call to share something meaningful than mere curiosity, and whether it was meant as such or not, the thought made him smile slowly.
" Do you have any preferences on where to start? Any case, get comfortable, this may take a while, " the smile reached his eyes as he added playfully. " And hey, since I'll be here for a while then, what do you say I maybe take one pillow and sit on the floor next to you? I am so much taller, and I sort of feel like I am about to eat you, looming over you ominously like this. It would seem much more... friendly chat, if we were more at the eye level... "

[Mirach]

"Sure," Death said and stretched on the couch as Tide took the floor.

[VisAnastasis]

Tide also made himself comfortable, feeling pleasant in what to him seemed more friendly position, disliking any gestures that could be perceived as threatening. He leaned on the arm of the sofa calmly, and after gathering his thoughts, he slowly began to speak.

Instictively, first, without realising it, he began speaking of the sea, its vast beauty, its reassuring endlessness. Then, slowly, amidst the giant blue foamy descriptions, he began painting richer picture, first, of towns and cities along its coast, and then, of lot of islands, big and small and colorful, scattered throughout it. It seemed Tide picked this city for his base not only because of circumstances, but because it was relatively close to many bigger centres of his power, and because of closeness to Sea Heart, had numerous spacial anomalies that he took advantage of to keep his people safe from both humans and Spirit kingdom, and inhabit them on most secure locations. He spoke of islands and people living on them, and as he spoke, reminded of them, colour and passion returned to his voice again. His foamy eyes were full of love, as he spoke of gardens of Hesperides of golden apples, of tribes of local low fairies, of marriage of five workmen consisting both Spirits and Demons, that like to make sparkly things and took part in making the stage decorations for the play.... He spoke of many people and many things, often jumping from subject to subject as he recalled different things, as if parent praising his children, always fondly and proudly.

[Mirach]

Death listened to Tide's talking and also to the way he was talking about things he loved, but his mind was still returning to the play and seeing what Tide was talking about through that perspective of hypothetical acceptance he felt there from the audience.

[VisAnastasis]

Tide didn't seem to get much of deeper reasons behind Death's question, just continuing to talk casually, his voice growing brighter and brighter with it. While some were more close to him and some less, it was apparent he held great love and respect for all of them, and all of it put together burned like fire. He spoke of how he happened to meet some and get along, how he helped the others from corruption, he was explaining details here and there of various meetings, the first ones and those that came after, as if it was soothing his mind and making it clear and bright to reminisce of people he managed to keep safe.

He was closest to Hans, above all, because they had a special and ancient bond that was forged through aeons, but there was still tangible softness as he spoke of all else. As he mentioned Hans last though, through pleasure there was a streak of memories some thoughts brought forth. He explained that he is having a bit of a hard time with Hans lately, but how he loves him still. How he is having a bit of a hard time with Senecio, but even when he annoys the actor, he's really accepting so he feels hopeful with it. He said how he has a deep friendship built on respect with Sage, but that it is a little strained lately because Sage doesn't believe Senecio is the right person for him. Then, as he spoke of these three shyly, as one speaks of the crown jewels, he smiled a little.
" I think that makes a nice circle... of the living. You asked me what I love now. It would be unpleasant to speak of what I loved and no longer have. I... wasn't always soo foolishly risk-loving, nor competent. As for humans we love, we have to lose them one day, and as for Beings, it is important... that we always try, " he spoke, a streak of light heartache as he added. " But we can not save everyone. It is only a way of the world... "

[Mirach]

"No, we can't," Death said, without much emotion, as if merely stating a fact. 

[VisAnastasis]

Tide nodded lightly, and smiled wonderingly..

" Well... I think this about answers your question, roughly. I like many humans currently, but do not feel as strongly about them as for Beings I knew for much longer. I have soft spot and liking to many humans I know of recently, like Svarik and Falcon. I get crushes easily... or fondness. I am fond of Silver Simbelmyne too, despite knowing him but shortly, as well as for sweet Beings like Cernunnos and his son. I also have deep fondness for souls in this room," he looked around with warm fondness, adding." My heart... is large, so even though I care for many, it always seems to have a bit more space... You... aren't much of a talker, but you listen well. I do not know what to say now, though,"  he whispered." Do you have anything more you wish to know? I fear anything I could ask you out of true, sincere curiosity would not be as pleasant question as your question was... "'

[Mirach]

"What would you ask out of curiosity?" Death wondered. "I'm not saying I'll answer, just would like to know what you are curious about."

[VisAnastasis]

" There are couple more random things, without special goal... In general, I think it would be... Fun... Speaking about healing with you. Our both approaches are somewhat similar, but vastly different. Being in this room here with you makes my heart jump a little, and wonder... How working with you would feel like. I only got a taste of it from working on Cernunnos, but... It didn't taste half bad... Yet... Questions like that are overshadowed by the another question," he whispered quietly, his gaze wondering, as he revealed his thoughts." It is something I am sure of more and more... The more I grow fond of you. I wish not only to stabilise you enough to survive, or function fine. To keep fighting that inflamed wound for eternity, that won't do. Only when you can manifest your winged form freely, with no pain, will things be like they should be," he murmured, sinking a little more down, almost like sulking child." The more I know about the wound and how it came to be, higher chances I have to craft the most suitable solution, so that is what I desire the most to ask... I have some ideas what might work, some faster, some slower. And yet, I don't feel any calmer. My methods aren't majestic or comfortable like yours. What... Is even the use of having methods I know you would never accept? Yet, it hurts, " he smiled, almost out of habbit, though his words were regretful." To imagine the future where nothing changes. Where you struggle daily, despite staying alive. I don't... Think I could ever find fulfillment or joy of working by your side, asking you questions about healing, learning from you, perhaps... If things stay like this. " He shook his head slowly." I am so selfish, aren't I? I know it would anyway be smart choice to work with you someday, perhaps, if we work up to it. But it feels like starting something new while old work is unfinished, always weighting you down. I could not live comfortably like that.... "

[Mirach]

"My methods aren't majestic," Death murmured. "They just rely on my nature. I might have improved them over time, but it's still something I just do naturally, without thinking about it much. It's not really useful when I try it on me though. And if you did try to heal me now, it feels like closing a physical wound while the object causing it is still inside. You can relieve the pain, and it's nice, but that object must be removed first. I'll never manifest my winged form again, though. The wings... they were ripped off, you see?" 

[VisAnastasis]

" I imagined...like Erdel said, that it was something between being ripped ripped off by claws or by teeth... When you rip of something, the surrounding soul is very damaged and it is agonising pin to try to manifest that part. Even manifesting once very injured part that was chewed up was agony for Cernunnos, and since it was too chewed up, we had to replace his leg... But you have some things he did not have at a time. Above all, a golden apple, and Cernunnos's fruit. " Tide shook his head seriously, speaking his mind quietly and hesitantly, but surely. " Right now, if you tried to eat it, that part that was once torn up and mangled would hurt too much, and it wouldn't grow enough to manifest wings properly... Like not settling a shattered bones before making a cast. But what if we did?" He asked, equally quietly, with a hunger of desire in his voice, but not hunger for food." If we were to do all preparations property... Clear of the inflammation, reconstruct what is left, put it in right place... It can't be done by yourself on yourself, but it can be done with my methods. It wouldn't be first time for me. It isn't... Despite you won't call them majestic, my ways really seem crude and humanish compared to yours that are so beautiful... " He paused, before revealing the next of his trait of thoughts. " What is torn can grow back. If you only took golden apple, chances for growing back wings would be half by half... But Cernunnos's fruit soothes and calms the soul and makes one feel really comfortable and pleasant in its skin, a perfect state of mind for taking the golden apple. If you take it beforehand, the chances for growing back the wings fully, if all is set properly, skyrockets. It all depends on how you will feel at that moment, of course, but it is undeniable truth, that combining all help we got in the last days, your chances for growing wings back would  grew from none to considerable. And I am greedy. I want you to have them again. It would not... Feel like a proper reward... If you didn't get your wings back. That is least you deserve... "