Senecio adn Tide II

[VisAnastasis]

Despite his state that looked really bad, Hans's mind was his strongest asset, and even weak and barely awake, he grasped situation quickly, the sharp wit peeking faintly through even in the dulled state of mind.

" So, in short... you always feel terrible when spending a large amount of money, even when you feel the thing is worth the price... If you paid as much as you felt it's truly worth in your heart, you'd feel terrible over spending so much money... and if you didn't, you'd feel terrible about not spending enough for its worth... Is that about right? " he summed up quietly, with a little hoarse voice, watching him as intently as he could in the situation. " But you can't ask Sir Falcon for money even if he is rich too... because that would basically feel like he is buying his own gift... and you get no fulfilment out of it. Yeah... that certainly sucks... "

[Mirach]

"Exactly," Svarik nodded. "I don't actually earn money, the kingdom does. That's why I'm hesitant to spend them."

[VisAnastasis]

" The treasury should have... a designated yearly budget from taxes... for the emperor's personal use. It was a good chunk. Do you think... emperor could just... take without... accounting? If he spent everything due to the people... there would be hunger and chaos. If anything, the emperor's priority always was... ironically... making sure the nation is strong enough to maintain... strong soldier class. The yearly budget he had was large... but he was respected for his good measure. He had council for that... for balancing, how much he can spend on himself, and how much should be left... to public sectors... religion... disaster relief... so on...  " Hans explained, in his pain, still diligently. " After emperors were gone, Tarmagil was *using* emperor's yearly budget. He used plenty in the last three years, but this year's budget should be yours, since... you were crowned before the end of last year... It should be plenty enough.  Especially since... your mansion renovations are handled a lot by vampires... who don't receive money. You pay a lot, but have also a lot free labour. Also, from public records I oversee... I see that nobleman that tried to kill you, Riversong, left you reasonable sum after his death, too. So, I shall not... pretend like you have no way out, other than asking me a favour... " Being looked at him seriously. " Rather... do you prefer asking me for this... rather than a little more complex loan between here and capital that would have to be settled? You can reasonably do either. I am not poor, so it is not a matter of money. It is one thing if you would prefer to keep those funds you have right on, to instead use them... to better the country. But... you dislike me with honesty. Do not for a moment think that it is not obvious, both in your coldness and distance. I know you treat me... different to others, " Being slurred, despite perceptive, still blunter in his dulled state. " Do you truly want this favour from me? Or are you only asking me... Because you feel... like you have no other choice, so you have to? "

[Mirach]

Svarik frowned a bit and sat down on the bed. "Do *you* dislike me? I don't dislike you... I just feel like we can't find a common language. I know I have funds at home and could arrange some kind of transfer. That's what I wanted to do at first, but I don't feel good about it. I just can't see it as my money. But how would you feel about a chance to get Janus a supply of materials and doing me a favour? If the answer is *bad*, then forget my question. But it it would be at least slightly good, then it would make me feel good about the deal as well. I thought, why settle for an option where the feeling is negative when I can get a much higher total of good feeling out of it?"

[VisAnastasis]

Being listened to him quietly, its eyes growing more glassy. He did not reply right away.
" I dislike people settling for options when feelings are negative... That is why I am asking you this. Because... it is hard for me to believe... that you do not dislike me," Hans finally whispered tentatively. " I do not like... to take advantage of people... that feel like they have... no other choice. Getting a handout... or favour from someone you dislike... that's the worst. I just don't want you to feel bad, getting something from me if you dislike me. I... don't really dislike you, so I do not want... you to feel bad. That is all. But, if you keep treating me as you do... yes. With more time given, I feel like I could grow to... despise you, " he admitted suddenly, in his clouded state of mind, being able to say what he could not otherwise. " You treat everyone... with such smiles and enthusiasm... all your replies to me are measured and wary. The air around us is thick. When I try to show my thankfulness or close the distance with a joke or a tease... you treat me like a nuisance and like you can't wait... for me to stop talking... " he gritted his teeth. " You insist to treat my tail and act so done that I am questioning you if you are really sure as if I am just... an annoying item on your to-do list. You only find no faults with me when I am not interacting with you. How... hard it is to admit... that you dislike me? If it is not a dislike, or even something stronger than dislike... please tell me what it is... "

[Mirach]

"Well it's the way you treat me, too," Svarik said. "I can't talk freely with you because I feel like I always say something that offends you in some way, and I have to explain myself to convince you that I didn't mean it that way. With some people it's easy to communicate because you know what they mean by their words and they understand what you mean. But with you, I'd need a dictionary. I don’t dislike you. I respect you. Of course I wanted to treat your tail. And only now I'm getting a scrap of that much needed dictionary to understand why you've questioned it so. You thought I dislike you and I'm healing you out of spite or something? If I knew that, I could maybe answer your questions about it in a way that would satisfy you. But I didn’t know and I was just confused by them."

[VisAnastasis]

Hans seemed more unsure and vulnerable with reply, as if not knowing what to say for a moment - it seemed he would have had easier time swallowing that king disliked him and didn't know how to cope at first.
" I just feel... Like all your acts around me... Are only out of pity and duty. You like Tide and Sage, but you can't wait to get away from me... You know Tide and Sage would feel sad if I were ill... So you do want to help me, but I feel treated like something that has to be gotten over with, not a person. I mean, everyone hates someone, but... It just.... Felt really trashy to think a person that likes everyone... dislikes me so. " He gulped hoarsely, trying to gather his thoughts." I really... Did try so hard, but it seemed I was just making things worse every time I spoke with you. Truth is... I am... Increasingly terrified, every time." He barely brought himself to admit, looking ashamed." I know you are nice to everyone... But to me, you are unpredictable. I am... Really surprised you came to me today, because all I ever made you is uncomfortable. If you would be more comfortable with Sage... I would not  be offended," said the clearly depressed grieved creature that must have thought it had much better poker face than it did." We technically share same funds, so you can still... Ask for favor more comfortably for him. As long as you accept the amount I advise you on, you can have this favor from Tide or Sage. I... Don't want you to just settle with a trashy Being like me... you say you respect me... But how so?" Its skepticism was not directed at doubting Svarik, but himself." Maybe I can take that as a yes...as a fellow living creature? But my jokes annoy you. My personality annoys you. You don't have confidence in what I offer.... whether it is as simple as a willing to talk to me about state of Janus's kids, or accept the law I presented you without double checking it. " He gulped. " What is there... Left to respect? I... Am trying really hard. I... Want to keep my promise. W-when I hurt you the first time, I... promised I would find a way to make you laugh without flirting," he avoided Svarik's look." B-but... I flirt when I am nervous and scared, and not being able to only makes my anxiety skyrocket. I tried contextual jokes, I tried teasing, I even tried puns, but.... It is not your fault. I don't know why I can't stop messing up... it just feels like you can only laugh when something is cute, and... I am definitely not... I will never be..."

[Mirach]

Svarik shook his head. "Now take what you said... and reverse it. I feel the same with you. Like I'm missing the mark with everything - trying to explain myself, trying to make a joke... I respect you as a person, as someone who would be nice as a friend but I'm always messing it up. If flirting makes you feel better, then do, it's fine when I know what you mean by it. But I don't know how to respond to it - same as you're not sure how to respond to me trying to do something nice for you."

[VisAnastasis]

" Yeah... It is bold to assume I would accept you feeling trashy... just to ease my anxiety... " Cornered Being couldn't help but smile weakly, but not misunderstanding this time - instead, its face seemed twisted with guilt. " I really would not... Do it on purpose. Maybe I slip up unconsciously when I am scared but... Why would I think it is good idea... To be less anxious by making you more anxious? That just makes us both anxious," he smiled but faintly, fraily, as if trying to offer a peace of understanding." It just... Feels easier to deal with everything... When you treat it like it is... No big deal. If... If I treated everything as... As seriously as it really was... I would lose my mind," he took a deep breath." Flirting... I guess it is complicated for me. Senecio seems to get it intuitively. It is just something to lighten the mood, to tease each other about. It does not exactly have urgency to it... it is more... Another way of loving. Like, we acknowledge each other as desirable and give compliments to each other, but it doesn't have to lead to anything." He explained, not able to help his expression growing more relaxed and fonder with mention of the actor." When situation is gloomy, just compliment each other a little, tease a little, and you feel better and more confident. It is just... A way I can keep casual and closer to people. Have... Have you ever been complimented by Being, calling you adorable and lovely to look at? Treating you like you are a refreshing sight?" He asked suddenly." It is a way for expressing fondness for me, in the same time, too. Ahmm.. you see... " As if seriously deciding should or not he say it, he in the end did." Tide... Tide always had so little confidence in his appearance, because... I mean, primordial creature equivalent to being a human sewn up of different body parts..  So I would always compliment hum to the sky to build up his confidence, and it just stayed. It is a form of endearment too, and some Beings are casual about it and will use it without thinking much of it... That's... Why I made sure, with couple that are... Staying here currently, and might meet you... To make sure to never say anything suggestive by mistake... And to only focus on general things like... General sweetness... As they would with lovely children..."

[Mirach]

"Thanks... I guess," Svarik murmured. "It's not just about the flirting, but I guess it started with that and somehow snowballed. But I didn’t know you thought I disliked you. I know you don't really dislike me, but I thought you decided to just keep some distance because we couldn't get each other properly. I would respect that. I just don't get these things intuitively like Senecio. But I have a suggestion, if you'd be willing to try it. We could first work on understanding each other better. If it doesn’t work intuitively, we could try providing the dictionary. Like, if you ask me something, you could also tell me why you ask, so that I don't reply to something else that I assume you want to know. And the other way too. And later, if we get more comfortable around each other, I would like to try getting used to the flirting. It's rather inconvenient to feel about it the way I do. I don’t want to make poeple around me feel like they need to censor themselves for my sake. Maybe later you could help me with that, if you would be willing to."

[VisAnastasis]

Some of Hans's features softened a little with the suggestion, as if with the effort, he could finally begin to believe they had been caught in a misunderstanding.
" Regarding flirting... Just don't feel pressured to get it over with. Getting over some things isn't easy. I would like it if you could... Rely on me a little. Trust in my abilities. It is not like I just... Went around telling everyone suspiciously that you dislike flirting. " He smiled faintly at the idea." You were supposed to go to the ball, and many Beings were curious to meet you and spend time with you. They would be uncertain without any pointers how to behave to not cause trouble with the empire... I used that as opportunity, to put information you dislike that because you already have a partner that you are not comfortable with it. I also said you don't like expensive meeting gifts from strangers and that you prefer simple sweets,* he said shyly." Just... Couple general things that would make you more comfortable... I wanted to protect you whether you like me or not, because... regardless of how you feel about me, you I wanted to protect you. But if you really do not feel negatively about me.. I guess... It would be nice to get more comfortable with you for a start. It is... Exhausting to be afraid of you," he whispered weakly. " I guess you could start... If you would like... By trying to rely on me a little more. I just feel like you don't really feel confident with my judgement. For a start... I could share with you my opinion about... Subjective and objective value of what you are getting from Janus. Accounting and evaluating is my strong point. I hope you can give my words proper weight..."

[Mirach]

"I would really like to hear your opinion about it," Svarik said. 

[VisAnastasis]

" Okay... Listen... " Hans clearer his throat, more encouraged." Let me first explain you... about value of what you are getting. If you were just getting a simple pendant, that's one thing. Getting a pendant with mechanism without seams that can only be opened by password is completely other level from simple. And getting a pendant with pocket dimension is whole different level from the password one," he explained intently." I am telling you this not because Janus would be disappointed - he would not. I am sure he would have done this for free for you if he could, so that's why he gave you choice of how much. But I am saying this for your sake. After a decade or so of getting along with Beings... you will figure out how much it is actually worth and feel trashy. Svarik, Janus is the only person that can weave pocket dimensions into things. There are  reasonable amount of Stars that have power to distort space when they are present, like Alpha, but only Janus has the skill to weave it into space others can use, and he is scared of his technology falling into wrong hands, so he only makes them when he trusts people won't abuse it for evil. Most are rather small, but still, there are less than 50 pocket dimensions woven into objects that are currently active. One in his bag is biggest one and most complex, as it was made before his corruption, and next one after it is mine. Yours would be small, but still, think of it this way - everything you put in it is perfectly preserved and safe and hidden, and can only be taken out with password and if you can imagine how the object looks. Even if object is destroyed, pocket dimension remains at that location, and if you bring Janus to that place, he can retrieve your items from the dimension. It is ultimate safekeep. If I had to choose between this bag and this mansion, I would choose the bag, although of course, my opinion of my particular one is so high is because it is very large and harder and more taxing to make than smaller one. A dimension is still a dimension, though. You are in fortunate position where you can get away with paying any price, but if you are to feel good about it, you simply have to give a lot, so your conscience can be calm in the future...."

[Mirach]

"Oh," Svarik pressed his temples. "I just wanted two nice, simple pendants. I didn't ask for any pocket dimensions, but I thought it neat when he suggested them. They way he did it, it didn’t even seem such a big deal."

[VisAnastasis]

" I am telling you about objective value. This thing is extremely precious. But look at it this way. It is all in rarity and demand. Your Listening and healing gift, for example... Yesterday, if it was difference between destroying the bag and saving Senecio... I would have destroyed the bag without a blink," creature said solemnly." Value is subjective. I can tell you in all certainty that Falcon will adore the pocket dimension, and I can tell you just as much that Janus didn't offer you this to indebt you, but to make your day, because it is something only he can do for you. Just like when you offered us your help you didn't think what you did yesterday is more valuable to me than my most priced material possession, did you?"Being asked, with simple and firm authority, that shone through even with weakness and fever. " Value is a value. If I thought you that kind of person, I would say - take a golden chance where that Being feels thankful to you and get golden items for cheap. But I am advising you like this only because you are you. It would bother you... But it doesn't have to bother you now, does it?" A barely noticeable playful smile danced on the edges of Being's lips." After all, you did not come here just for advice. You came here for a favour, right? "

[Mirach]

"Yes. Because I know you would get Janus more materials that I feel he deserves for it, but if I paid that much I'd feel like robbing my people. And because you asked me what you can do for me for the healing, and I didn’t know. Not because I wouldn't value your offer, but because I'm a rather simple person who doesn't really want much. But now I finally found something..."

[VisAnastasis]

Being nodded, as they finally were on the same page.
" I am glad you found something you really want... I would like you to be able to feel as happy about it as you deserve... Just like I am happy this damn troublemaker is okay," Being whispered faintly. " What do you say... We get roughly enough materials from the list that normally last him one year, but for the first two that are rarest, we buy off the whole stock in nearest two cities? Over that and Janus would feel uncomfortable because it is something he genuinely wants to do for you, and under that amount, you would feel uncomfortable in the long run because it is really valuable and rare present, one of a kind. What do you think?"

[Mirach]

"I knew you'd be able to balance the deal for the best of everyone," Svarik smiled.

[VisAnastasis]

The praise lightened creature's mood a little, as despite he seemed in a lot of pain, his features relaxed into a more contented expression,now that they cleared the misconceptions they had about each other.
" Well, I am among the richest people in the country, and one of the few who is also an experienced accountant... and take care of all my investments and taxes. You should always vask the person that handles lot of money and rare things to appraise rare things for you properly," he said, not without a tinge of pride, but also, there was undoubtedly more confidence in it too." Just pass my words to the captain of the Guard and tell him it is priority mission. He is the best of the best, he will do you a good job. "'

[Mirach]

"Yes, I can see that. Thank you, Hans. I'll leave you to rest, yes? We can talk more when you're feeling better."

[VisAnastasis]

" Yes... " creature admitted, now that it relaxed a little, struggling more and more to remain conscious. " To be honest, I am barely holding myself together. If I chat some more, Tide would get worried... Just... remember, this is actually no favour or handout... and no reward, either. I am not some snobby nobleman handing symbolic compensation to warriors who slay dragons... I am just returning your kindness and sincerity with mine, " he whispered the words from the heart, though he was already at his limit, slurring words through his teeth more again. " That is what it is to me. Is that... a dictionary definition... that sits right with you, too?"

[Mirach]

"Yes," Svarik said simply. "That's how I see it too." Then he already left Hans to rest and went to call Tide and give instructions to the captain.

[VisAnastasis]

Captain was nodding lightly, without surprise, as if he expected this outcome, probably suggested it too because he thought of it as the best course of action. He agreed with it and went to do the work. Tide also listened to the outcome, and he seemed pleased about what happened, and that Hans and Svarik seemed to have mended things a little, and he thanked him warmly and promised him he will guard Falcon's and Melody's rest well, before he returned to the room to do just that.

[Mirach]

Svarik didn’t want to disturb them, so he headed to the kitchen where Eros was supposed to be, and also Jake. 

[VisAnastasis]

Was it fate - or more likely, did Eros feel there was a streak of bond binding Svarik and Jake, so choose him specifically to hang out with- but it was easy to find two people. They were at one table, and they currently seemed to in the same time make the mixture for some desserts, and decorate some hard cookies. Jake, like always, seemed incredibly hard to shake, and he seemed to be taking the presence of personification of Love at face value, working alongside it without much trouble.