Senecio adn Tide II

[Mirach]

Death waited for a bit, and the opened the letter.

(OOC: I fear I don't remember what we wanted to do... I think Svarik wanted to talk to Conrad about that, but I don’t remember what exactly he wanted to suggest. Maybe we will figure it out as they talk. And for Senecio, should the play and ball be today?)

[VisAnastasis]

As he was reading, Death could indeed see that it was a little outdated, limited to the knowledge Ben had at the time he fell asleep. Many things were similar to what he spoke of today, although, while the present Ben spoke with pensiveness and reservation coming from new circumstances, the past Ben spoke with both great warmth and regret. He apologized for everyone putting so much effort into saving him and having it end up in vain. Terrified of possibly hurting them on his way out, he apologised profusely, expressing hope everyone was okay. He apologised to Death for leaving him to grow up in human life without Ben to look out for him, and he explained how, even though legally it is not possible to give something to a Being with no human citizenship, in his Will he left substantial amount to Lord Nameless, Owl and Conrad meant for Death's human life. That was the only thing he had at the time to make sure Death could grow up without lacking anything.

He was a little less resolute about not being Riversong, but it could still clearly be felt that he had trouble addressing himself as such. But what he was clear about though, was that he wasn't in love with Death. It was also unconfession, but with a different tone from today, since he back then believed Death may have feelings for him. He explained how he felt stuck between two fires - Jake's unsaid confession when their minds were connected as Semai, and ambiguous situationship with Death. How he feared that Death would cut ties with him if he told him he did not see him that way, and that then even if he survived, he would be left all alone if he only woke up in the distant future. How he was afraid to tell either anything affirmative or negative to Jake, too, because it felt cruel to give someone hope if he were to die a few days later... How he felt great guilt, for accepting Death's care without returning his feelings, and how he did plan to give his best to return those feelings if he survived, but is apologetic that now that he's dead he could not. How Death can definitely find someone much better, and how he selfishly took advantage of him so he should not grieve for him much anyway, writing more fiercely and poorly of himself, as if hoping Spirit would grieve for him less if he thinks ill of him, just like he'd be unkind to Svarik, hoping meadow king would not grieve for him if he grows to dislike him.

Still, despite best efforts, it was hard to hide his true feelings. After writing his personal thoughts, the last largest section of the letter, consisting of many pages, was a detailed and systematic summary of Riversong's research on souls. With great care, Ben organised all he could and everything he thought might be helpful to Death. He did not directly mention Death's injury in the letter, to hide it even there, but as if hoping at least one word could be a clue that could help him get better, he wrote, as systematically as one would if he wrote a scientific paper, pouring all Riversong's years of research and all his own human education to organise it all. He wrote how he talked in more detail with White in dreams, but how summary was vital in entangling everything into a way that data would be useful. And so, all until the text ended, there were no more personal thoughts, only many pages of research, written in more tidy, small letters from some point on - it seemed that when it got too painful to write words himself, he asked help from Erdel to dictate the rest to him, so he could make sure it would be legible enough for Death to not miss anything due to his lacking handwriting.

( OOC: Hi! No worries, we can play to figure out what they wanted, I did have the impression at the time that it was about yesterday when they had trouble hiding their relationship in front of others, but we didn't talk of it in detail, so it could be something else, we'll surely get feel for it when they talk about it <3 As for when the play and ball are, I checked, in the last post, we talked of it it was supposed to be tomorrow from now since we were then discussing if or not there should be one more rehearsal today before the play tomorrow, but since no rehearsal is required, it would be okay if we move it to be today, too, if you'd prefer it to happen sooner, so it depends on if we want to give Senecio and others slower day today to prepare for tomorrow for those events more, or if Senecio would be more focused on getting ready to overcome his new rehearsal today. I am okay with either if you prefer it more, from things missing for Ball, if I recall right, Svarik wanted to ask Alpha for an outfit for Lipka too, but he was hesitant because Alpha was weary. If so in either case we just should make sure Lipka isn't left out. Melody wouldn't need much since she is a Spirit, but when making something for Lipka Alpha would make little something for her as well. If the play is tomorrow, Erdel will spend most of today hunting if not called, but if the play is today he'd return sooner to escort Senecio to the theatre and do his part to support him <3

[Mirach]

(OOC: I wanted to check, but didn’t find enough time to actually find it. I think we have delayed the play long enough, let's just say it's today and the ball is the day after, so that there's more time to get a dress for Lipka)

After Riversong went to talk to Death, Svarik sought out Conrad to see of they could talk somewhere in private.

[VisAnastasis]

( OOC: Oki, deal (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶) )

Conrad stood up and followed Svarik, but he seemed to have a lot on his mind despite listening to the request immediately. While it was not obvious to everyone, the meadow king who knew him well could see man felt at a loss and unsure in a situation he didn't have much experience with. He has clearly been painfully aware of how poorly he had been hiding his unusual behaviour yesterday while they were making Simbel's wings, so he must have been racking his brain thinking about it and didn't seem to have decided how to address it yet.

[Mirach]

"So... either we need some acting lessons from Senecio, or a new plan, don’t you think?" Svarik said when they were alone, getting straight to the point.

[VisAnastasis]

" I... can not with a clear conscience say that we did well... "  Conrad seemed a little downcast and unsure, in a similar way as Svarik had seen him a few days ago when the man was trying to roast marshmallows for the first time and ended up burning them. " On the bright side, though, isn't it nice to find some things you're better at than me by default? " he shrugged as he cautiously tried to tease. " I always thought I was great at acting... But it turns out I was just giving myself easy roles. It is so easy to play miserable nobleman, moneylender, knight, underground leader... when you're yourself miserable. But how can one act indifferent when they are extremely happy? The difficulty level is just too harsh for both of us, don't you think...? " By little stiff, careful way in which he spoke, Meadow King could see that Conrad was trying to figure out if Svarik was disappointed in him for doing poorly and gouge what mood he is in.  

[Mirach]

Svarik sighed. "It is... To me, it's something else that's most difficult, though. Pretendind something and deceiving enemies is one thing, but deceiving friends? I don’t like that at all..."

[VisAnastasis]

" I see... I guess my standards for what counts as deceiving my friends are... too different. It is not like I can tell who I am to every person I work with for a few years, you know... So, I could say concealing the truth is more familiar to me than being honest... " Conrad smiled faintly - it seemed Svarik's words made him see things from a different angle. " I am sorry... In my haste to choose the road with the least risks, I ignored your well-being. What is the point of us dating... if it brings more burdens than comfort to you? I do not want to be the kind of person in your life who restricts and squashes the smallest joys you have under the guise of wisdom. I... do not want our relationship to become a gilded cage, even if you'd choose to stay it in... It won't do, " he spoke a little hoarsely, but determinedly, and as if not sure how to approach him to reassure him as a boyfriend, not a friend, he timidly reached for him and pulled his sleeve, observing his reaction attentively as he asked. " Svarik... You don't ask me to just discuss the matter with you and come up with some new wise and safe plan, do you? We aren't making a tax plan with clear pros and cons. What you really want is not my advice on what is another safe route to take... but the permission to be honest with our friends, isn't it? If I give you my blessing to... speak of us freely to... those you wish to speak of us to... would that ease the burden you feel? "

[Mirach]

Svarik didn’t answer right away, but gently took Conrad's hand aa he was sitting next to him and intertwined their fingers. He remaines like that for a while, just looking at their hands and thinking about what he actually wants.
"I'm not sure if it’s permission that I'm seeking," he said. "I was kind of hoping that you would actually come up with some new safe and wise plan that wouldn’t demand so much from both of us but keep you safe. But that's not really doable, I suppose. The next thing that I'm seeking, if the first is not possible, is just a moment to be free with you. We were among friends. We should feel good with them, but instead, it was emotionally draining. I just want a moment to rest and recover from that, before we try to come up with what to do about it. You need it too, don't you?" he asked, leaning his head on Conrad's shoulder.

[VisAnastasis]

Conrad tensed a little at first, as being in a relationship seemed to make him more conscious of Svarik's presence, especially after yesterday, but then he slowly relaxed. He leaned into Svarik's touch, and watched their hands for a moment thoughtfully, before replying.
" You... always encourage me to... honestly ask what I want myself, instead of phrasing it as if something I would only be doing for your sake... It isn't that I am being magnanimous and want to permit you to speak to others against my better judgment... It is not like I am pleased with the situation, either. It... was so very exhausting. If I act freely on my feelings, everyone with eyes will realize something has changed, but if I act distant, everybody will think we're arguing. It was... so miserable, not being able to even wish you goodnight properly. So it is not like you are the only one struggling, you know... " he smiled frailly, and he pressed Svarik's hand that was holding his so very slightly as if drawing strength and encouragement from it to put to words things he would normally keep only to himself. " In truth, it is not like there is no middle ground... We... could always, for example, agree to tell our friends in exchange for their everlasting vows to not tell anyone unless we agree to it. That would certainly stop the unwitting flow of information to a degree, because if they feel like they would be breaking the oath they would get the feeling to stop what they are saying, so it would be some safety net, for a while. But... it is not like I can push you from one bad feeling to the other, from deceiving your friends to being demanding of your friends, and it is not like I like that, either. But... no matter how you slice it, whether rumours spread that you're dating a traitor of the land, an underground leader, or an unruly nobleman host.... nothing of it seems great now, does it? So.. I am struggling too, to pick the path I want, between safety and gain..." he confided, so very quietly. " Just because a road is exhausting does not mean it is not the safest... And just because it is risky, does not mean it will not bring higher gain. My whole life, no matter if I picked an option with higher safety or higher gain... I always seemed to be at a loss. It was safer to not be too obvious or step too out of line while helping Izmer and you... but then he died. Sure, he could have died even if I helped him more, but still, I can not know, if he would have lived if I had taken more risks to aid him. Then, I gave it my all to stand up to the Emperor to stop him... but would it have been wiser to act loyal to a degree and work in secret with the Emperor's enemies to come up with a plan to take him down from the inside? Trying to defeat him with close to no resources or allies was a foolish desperate choice, after all, so trying to take him down with the resources of the Mayor in the army might have been wiser, even if less radical. And then after Emperor's death, I could have tried to approach General Irnet to work with him... but he is... was really bad at bending when it comes to legality, so I judged it is wiser to not let him know about me and do my best without him... If I confided in him of my existence and plans, perhaps he would not feel desperate enough to clash with Tarmagil heads-on and would be more cautious and bide his time... If I gave him a choice to work with me instead of fearing he'd just try to take me down as well, perhaps I would not have to helplessly watch him die. I wanted to quickly kill the vampires before I met you since it was the safest road to your future, but then after I met you, it was too late... If I killed them against your wishes, I would turn into nothing but your enemy, and you'd turn into nothing but my puppet king. I could not overturn something you felt so strongly about... So, when Demain asked me to kill vampires, how could I choose to try the middle ground there? It was absolutely a must that they do not think that we promised them safety only to sell their lives at a high price to Demian. It would only lead to a bloodbath if they were cornered and felt like the choice was to fight or to die, as they felt when Council fell. I choose it is worth it to risk a little more since I would be protecting you... But then I failed at that too. It... was a choice for safety, to leave you in that palace room alone - it would be awful if guards went in and found a strange armed man in your room, but... screw that. If I took that chance and stayed with you, even if I were later on caught by your guards, you would not be caught by Demian. So... it is natural that... I am very apprehensive when it comes to making decisions about your safety. " it seemed man found it easier to speak while looking at their hands, not daring to look up, as he spoke. " It... feels like a crossroads, now, too. One you look back on and ponder what would have happened, if you had chosen differently. I do not want to endanger you, but I do not want you to one day look back and wonder why a relationship that started so well turned out to be so suffocating instead. Taking the road of relationship instead of friendship was already a path I knew would be more risky... But you asked me to respond to your confession by my feelings, not by weighing down future risks or dangers. So, I did... "

[Mirach]

Svarik closed his eyes as Conrad spoke, searching for some inner balance in the difficult situation. "It's a decision we need to make together, but I'm leaning towards a fast one. That was my hope since the beginning. I would like to tell our trusted friends, and have their help in clearing your name as soon as possible, so that we don't have to pretend not just in front of them, but also in front of the world."

[VisAnastasis]

" I guess... it all circled there and back again to the same decision... choosing safety or higher gain, " Conrad's face crumpled slightly. While it did appear he tried to stay strong and not falter, unlike when they first met, he did not try to make light or hide his vulnerabilities or worries. So very slowly, he looked up, and there was fear and fragility in his look, but also trust. " I am afraid.... " he whispered. " I am so afraid I can barely breathe sometimes. I am terrified I could end up making your life worse off for you in my greed. The safest road would be waiting to be official in a few decades when no one who knew me in my youth is alive... But how can I pursue that road when even one day of trying to be discreet leaves us both so miserable? I am more spent with one day of this than when I would not sleep for a few days when the workload is heavy, and you look more spent than when I give you law lessons. I am more hesitant out of fear... that by telling more people about us, we're cutting away our chance of falling back on the plan of waiting for a few decades, if... your plan to clear my name does not work out. Perhaps we can count on our friends to not spread the news too much until my name is cleared if it would be soon enough, but who could expect them to keep such news under wraps for even a few years, not to speak of decades? Mole would spontaneously combust after one year top, having to not tell a soul, " He smiled frailly, as he shyly caressed Svarik's fingers with his thumb as they held hands. " It is just that... That having more people know and having rumours spread won't be too catastrophic, if I could... become less of a liability to you over time. But the weight of rumours would grow exponentially, the longer people speak of you dating a suspicious shady person. With laws in favour of the weak and poor, the ones hit are rich nobility, and while their state is shaken with the Fall of the Council, they will seek any flaw they could exploit, and I can not give you the flaw of being weak puppet King to a shady person that has you wrapped around his finger, now, can I? But to avoid you actually becoming my puppet King, my dearest sun, I can not forbid you to do things you feel strongly about, either... It is true I feel that if we can't drag in General Otma and High Priest Selagon into our plan the risks are too great, but still... how could I forbid you to take the riskier path for my sake against my fears, when I choose riskier path against your fears, too? After... you got hurt, objectively much safer route would be if I let others take care of you and spent all my time outside controlling the situation. But I stayed with you because I wanted to be there for you, even if leaving the situation solely to others held more risks. I would have done the same even if we turned back time anew. It was very important to me that you did not send me away like a servant to put me to work just because my skills were more useful elsewhere. Of course, just like we set limits back then of me involving myself in outside affairs when things got too dire, I will have to set a limit of being a voice against your efforts if we don't manage to involve Otma and Selagon and things seem like they would lead to us losing too much... But I do mean it when I say that I wish to find ways to make sure you... feel much happier that we are in a relationship, than if we just stayed friends. That's why I have to make sure that I do not make you miserable by limiting you too much on account of safety. Whether... we one day marry or not, and whether we sleep together or not... It is something that might or might not happen. But you being happy with me is not optional, but a must. Me clipping your wings out of fear for your safety is something I will always be careful of. You love me too much and that love makes you get swept by my demands more easily, so... so if I insist enough, I know you'd go along with my fears and keep hiding things even if they made you miserable. I am sure I could definitely convince you to keep deceiving our friends if I tried hard enough. Likewise, I am confident I could come up with a safe and wise enough middle-ground plan as you asked me to... But I do not want to. Right now, you will not become any happier for being served a middle-ground plan on the silver platter, if that plan still includes not being honest with the first friends you managed to make in your hard life of running away and solitude. So... I refuse to serve you any middle ground plan, in any case, " his sad eyes curled up just slightly as he hesitantly reached with his other free hand, and gently caressed Svarik's cheek, as he spoke. " Much more than some measured advice, are you truly sure you don't actually need your ever-anxious partner who always picks apart your every decision to believe in you to be able to solve this crisis and support your choice full-heartedly, for once?  "

[Mirach]

Svarik smiled faintly. "I guess I do, actually. Thank you..." He seemed relieved after admitting that to himself. He took a deep, slow breath. "So, how are we going to tell them?"

[VisAnastasis]

Only after Svarik looked relieved, did Conrad seem to feel relief too, his tense shoulders easing up. " Why even ask, when we are pursuing a supportive boyfriend route? Why of course, we will tell them in a way that brings you the most joy. I will agree to nothing less than that, " the grin on his face grew with confidence, and with the hand with which he caressed Svarik's cheek he moved up to caress his hair, whispering conspiratorially, with softer, gentler anticipation. " Convincing them to keep the secret later is the hard part, but isn't telling it the easy part? Not everyone followed us to sea, true, so we can't do it all at once, but even if we do it in chunks, what stops us from doing it however we like? " he kept caressing his hair, a simple gentle gesture seeming to ground and calm him down too, as he encouraged him. " Come on now, my Sun... Just like you used to imagine little fields and Orchards to tend to as a farmer and look forward to them, surely you must have imagined introducing your future lovers to your family one day. Sure, so much has changed since then, and your family circle was smaller than your friend circle, but surely, you must have certain steps imagined, or certain things you yearn for. It goes without saying that we are not by any means a conventional family unit, nor are the challenges we face the same as ones of nuclear families, but most of our friends aren't conventional either, so there's no need to be nervous about how they will take it. How we choose to tell them will have no impact on the safety of the situation, so at least in that one single thing, I am happy to say we don't have to worry about restrictions that much... "

[Mirach]

"I actually haven't imagined such introductions..." Svarik said. "I've always though that if it comes to that, it would be me getting introduced. I want to tell Simbel the most. I don’t think he could keep it secret from others, though..."

[VisAnastasis]

" Well, to be honest, I really want to tell Simbel too... We have been through so much, and... things are so much different from when we first met him. And we did do a family ritual with him, so... in lack of parents, isn't he the closest thing we have? He can't help but be, with all the sneaky protective claims on us he always steals whenever he damn pleases... " Conrad coughed, and he could not help but smile with a slight tint of embarrassment at saying such a thing out loud, and he spoke softly as he confided his feelings. " Telling everyone else but not telling him... it feels like starting from the wrong side. I want to tell him, too. But I understand your fears. Even before, his expressions were very sincere, whatever managed to pull through properly when he would pour his power into that vessel... but now that it is fine-tuned... his muscle memory seems to seep into it without any obstruction, and it is not easy, to unlearn the way his emotions are written eloquently on his face... He might need Senecio's acting classes more than two of us when we're already on the subject... It could be useful to get some advice from him on what to do with his hands and everything when he is too excited... Simbel has grown much more energetic after yesterday, " man leaned closer to Svarik as he spoke more calmly, with a more relaxed smile on his face now that the big decision had already been made. " As I said, I refuse to give you middle plans about lying to our friends, because truth is the only path you'd be happy with - but there's no reason why we couldn't give our best to come up with what to do with Simbel's bubbly honesty. Hmm... Well... it would be harder if he had to keep it for a few decades, but perhaps a shorter period of secrecy is something he could somehow manage, especially since we'd be telling a couple more people so he would have some consolation of knowing he's not the only one in on it. When someone is bad at lying, usually the best way to conceal it is by mixing as big amount of truth into it as possible. Hmm... A lot of people are betting on whether you and I would or wouldn't have something going on, and it is about half-split in the mansion whether we would become lovers, or whether we are more like brothers. Since Emperors would have multiple partners, and since we are so close, betting got only slightly less heated when you brought Lipka, to be honest, but not by much, since we spend so much time together. If someone asked Simbel what he thinks, it would show on his face he knows something if he just refused to comment. But what if we just ask him to act as if he's one of the people betting on the side of us becoming lovers, and ask him to act enthusiastic and hopeful that we'd get into a relationship one day? Hide the truth in plain sight by phrasing it as something he hopes would happen and is passionate about instead of something already going on. With some practice, I think he could get away with saying he thinks we would look lovely together because he'd not really be lying about how he feels. He could even make bets on it and ask others for advice on what's the best modern ways to help people get together. I am the owner of one mansion, and you are the owner of the other mansion that borders around his pond... it would not be that strange if old ancient god thought it would be romantic if we got together. Even if priests or guards hear of it off-chance, it could be explained as ancient deity liking when people he is fond of end up together, and be taken as his opinion, not something actually happening, " Conrad teased ever so softly as he timidly weaved the temptation. " We could have quite good additional cover for spending more time together. It would not be strange if Simbel, God who favours us, would use excuses to bring us along together wherever he goes in hopes of being matchmakers for us, and how could we refuse invitations of our New deity lightly? We could cover up quite a decent number of family picnics if we would leave it upon Simbel to construct imaginary matchmaking events for us, and perhaps we could get by acting dense at least, and pretend we don't know of his matchmaking attempts and just believe he is inviting us because it is his first time having a family after being alone for too long. We must come up with half-truths of our own anyway, so we are not even more obvious than Simbel, in any case, don't you think? "

[Mirach]

"It could actually be fun to make a game of it," Svarik smiled. "We will just need a clear list of who may know. Place it in Simbel's library, maybe, so that it is safe, but those who know may check it to see who they can talk freely to. Because I think it might get quite difficult to keep track otherwise. So who's going to be on the list? Simbel, Riversong, Jake, Mole, Owl, Zephyr, Ciel, Janus, Alpha, Hans, Tide... I guess Senecio too, if we want some acting lessons from him."

[VisAnastasis]

" Well, we were obvious in everything but in words when we went to both Janus's home warming party and then on a boat ride, so he would be quite a fool not to realize. We weren't exactly kissing platonically, " Conrad chuckled slightly. " We definitely should make sure to tell them all who are the only ones to know, but Senecio has gotten pretty open with Erdel, so there's a chance Erdel already warned him since we told him first. And if not Erdel, others that know for now for sure are Tide, Sage and Hans, Eros who advised you on your cute love life knows already too, and Janus and Alpha from whom we both coaxed love gifts... It is a little safer when it comes to people from the sea because they do not move in the capital circles where people know my face as much, so risks are smaller anyway. But in either case, Hans lies splendidly, Sage does not encourage gossip, and Tide is weaken link in his excitement, but like Simbel, it should be fine if we give him a role of just cheering for us to get together, instead of knowing. Janus is little problematic since he does not seem to understand how lying works... but we could ask him to act as someone mildly interested if we'd end together but doesn't know much of human relationships so isn't making big deal out of it. He likely won't talk with too many people about it, anyway. As for other people, I agree with your list, Nammy should know as well. From that list, Ben was trained to inherit the council position, so while he may act rather honestly when he's with you, he's very skilled with discretion when it matters, and Nammy is surprisingly great at keeping secrets too since he's good at acting nonchalant about things. Jake has grown up quite poor and partially in the slums, so while he dislikes big lies when it comes to white lies he can lie comfortably without blinking, so he should be low risk as well. Ciel and Owl have certain sense of dignity that makes people feel reluctant to entertain gossip in front of them. Mole and Simbel are honestly weak links, Mole gets quite electrified and is dying when people speak of something he knows the truth about... but we should probably be fine if we put all problematic ones, Tide, Simbel, Janus and Mole into a group that rightfully thinks we look great together and want to be Matchmakers for us. I guess you are right... it would be fun in any case, to see rumours of matchmaking spread instead of rumours of problematic relationship, and... if everything turns out right... with the clearing of name and everything... well, it is not like we can't just pretend that their matchmaking worked eventually, " Conrad spoke quietly while leaning against Svarik, and it seemed he was slowly relaxing and feeling safer as they were discussing of more safeguards. " As for Zephir... He grew on me more since we took him in, too, so I wish to tell him as well... But he is the weakest link in another way. He is a Highlander fugitive and has just the main gardener status, so while we treasure him, if someone secretly tries to approach him, regardless of whether it is about our relationship or something else, he may reveal it by accident if he is overwhelmed with fear. He would not spill secrets even in front of torture, but things that just need yes or no or allusions instead of exact info are something that can be inferred from panic, too. He's doing much better than when we brought him, but he is still delicate... To make him into a stronger link, I was thinking of granting him a more favourable position. Currently, he has a lot of work in the garden finishing up decorations, but once it is done, the workload will lessen, and vampires are already doing most of the work by his instructions, anyway. So, since he'd be freer - what do you think about giving him a smaller position that would not take him too much of the day and include mostly sitting, but would still elevate his position in the eyes of others? Tell me what you think, but I was thinking we should try to coax him into taking the position of royal cupbearer. I was thinking hard about that position, and while vampires would be useful there, it would feel like too much of a pressure and threat to the Council members if we appoint vampires to that position, but as a Singer and someone of his history, Zephir is very sensitive to poison, and it would ease my mind if he was there to keep watch over things you drink or nibble on during the meeting. Besides, while he is now weak and limping, while it will take time, Ben should be able to slowly help him get healthier, and it would be good if when we are apart, you could have Singer and swordsmen at your side under another role. He currently owns no weapons, so we would have to solve that, but he was the famous Highlander Swordmaster in his day. And, he is rather nervous and anxious around noblemen right now, so to help him gain more confidence, I think it would be good to give him a position without scary obligations, but with clear favour so he can see others would be hesitant to hurt him from now on. Royal cupbearer is historically a position of great trust that guards against poisons and has the king's ear, so I thought to ask you what you think about trying to coax him with me to take it. Even if he just remains but a cupbearer, it would be a great asset to you and mark to others that he is your person, but once he comes to realize he won't be punished or whipped for merely having opinions of his own, it would be helpful to you if he can throw in advice here and there. Of course, I'd understand if you'd prefer someone else for that position, or if you'd prefer to give Zephir some other position, but in any case, the cupbearer position should be filled with someone who can look out for you when I am not there... I was thinking about it for a while, but it was before... you confessed. After that point, there... was just too much always on my mind about our relationship to think about things like court positions... "

[Mirach]

"I think he likes the garden, though. I'm not sure if he would enjoy taking part in all public events instead of that, but I guess I can just ask him if he would like the position," Svrarik said. "Not that I would enjoy public events much, so we would be in it together, at least. So, that's our list then. When talking to them, we should share it with them, so they know who else knows. But now the more important and fun question: how are we going to tell Simbel?"

[VisAnastasis]

The man was nodding slightly as Svarik talked, but with the last words, his face lit up with a wider smile - it was quite a stark difference from his unsure expression when they had just begun talking.
" Well, I wouldn't like to give too many suggestions at once - we wouldn't like your ideas to be too influenced by mine now, would we? We need to do decision-making with less bias involved, so that we can both add to it equally, after all, " he coughed a little embarrassed, and he caressed the knuckles of Svarik's hand lightly while he continued. " To be honest... my own idle thoughts of youth are quite useless in this matter as well. Since I was most likely to continue the family line, I had to be married among the nobility, but despite the big family name, I was adopted from a family branch so far I was seen by almost everyone as a commoner through and through, so my marriage prospects were even more limited than common nobles. I didn't really feel ready for marriage anyway, and if I gained higher military achievements and a position in the army, my prospects would get better, so I was postponing the issue in any case while trying to gain good enough military achievements to marry up, " he admitted hesitantly, seeming to feel somehow embarrassed while drawing out memories long ago buried. " I couldn't really afford to think much of things like types or personalities and such... I didn't want to get disappointed in case I had to settle for an arranged marriage in the end. But I used to imagine... more a comforting passing thought of a distant future than a concrete image... but the thought I was looking forward to was that I would be able to get a match good enough to make my father proud and that I would introduce the girl to him. That by that time in the distant future, I would become famous as a hero and White Eagle, and... more than marrying into wealth, imagining marrying up into higher rank one day felt like a confirmation that nobleman acknowledged me enough to want to make a connection with me. Nobles usually organise a family dinner where both parents are present and where the couple informs both families they look favourably upon each other, either after matchmaking is done, or after a bit of dating, depending on how traditional the families are. For someone adopted from such a low position, such a thing was more abstract and distant to me than imagining becoming a White Eagle... It's pretty silly, right?  " his grin was embarrassed and vulnerable, but it held trust and a slight trace of anticipation as he spoke. " Everything... is so different from back then, and as I said, I do not want to influence your own preference too much. Simbel can't feel taste anyway, in common sense, unless there's blood involved, so... perhaps we could try to ask around with Beings and to see if we can maybe... get at least a little something that Simbel can find delicious, that isn't as crude and bloody as just pouring blood in a cup. Details aren't important, and it doesn't have to be some serious dinner in some dramatic place. It is fine if the only marginal connection is sharing some snacks... Just having that feeling of sharing the news and food would be nice... I am no longer a nobleman in anything but technicality, and dating Melody just kind of happened in a way that everyone knew of, so there was no need for sharing news that was already known, but we have that chance now, with this relationship... "

[Mirach]

"How about that Being restaurant that's here?" Svarik asked. "If someone can figure out something tasty for Simbel that he could actually eat, it would be them. We could go there after the play today, with all of our friends, and tell them there. Or let them guess what we want to tell them first. We can be a bit more... ourselves in front of them now, right? Let's see who notices..."

[VisAnastasis]

" Don't you think it's going to be pretty silly if people get the wrong idea that we are openly cheating on Melody and Lipka to their face, since polyamory is not the first assumption that comes to people's minds? Or are we actually in for creating a misunderstanding for fun? " Falcon chuckled a little wonderingly at the thought and grinned at him. " I am not saying I am against it... I am honestly not sure how such family dramas work since I have never had to suck kinds of dramas myself... My own dramas were more of trying to reclaim honour type of thing, not relationship kinds. I am not saying I am against it, though, it could be hilarious watching everyone misunderstand, as long as Melody and Lipka are okay with it, of course, " he cleared his throat as he repeated slowly. " But yes... it seems like a nice idea. I heard about that restaurant, and we should choose the way of paying that works best for us, but in any case, there are wards there to protect Beings so people kind of hard to remember the faces of other guests unless quests want them to, so it would actually be the most secure restaurant we can go. Beings have high standards, so I heard it has a ridiculously good view of the ocean, " his face grew enthusiastic suddenly. " It would be really lovely to figure out the best way to introduce Simbel to the ocean, too. For now Alpha took us out of the bag in the mansion so it wouldn't be too big a shock of change to him, but he will surely love seeing the ocean for himself, too, instead of knowing it through White Eagle's memories. What would be the most fun way to introduce the sea? Should we do it right away and have some family time, or should we try to avoid it more and shield his view so we can surprise him by showing it from some nice spot in the restaurant? While better protection will be sewn in new clothes when Alpha makes them, he still puts on quite strong protection within Simbel's cloak, so as long as we avoid direct sunlight Simbel should be decently comfortable, but if you think it's wiser to wait until Alpha can sew him clothes with better protection, we can always scrap beach for more evening plan. It would be nice if we could introduce Simbel around a little to ease him into interacting with Beings in any case, I think, because... " his expression was just as before, unusually timid as he struggled to speak his wishes out loud instead of dancing around them. " It would be nice if he had a smooth enough transition to feel ready to join us at the ball. While this isn't a noble ball but one for Beings and friends, at the noble balls, the whole family that is of age usually attends, and I used to go with my adopted father. After the last Emperor died... I was only able to attend masquerade balls during undercover missions. Despite things are different now, it would be nice, to go on a ball with family again. It... is nice, in a way, that we missed the premiere ball. Unlike back then, Simbel and Lipka are here now too... "

[Mirach]

"Okay, no creating misunderstandings," Svarik said. "But we don't need to be as guarded still, so we can at least act like normal and not like we've just argued. We could take Simbel to the sea now, I think. So that he can focus on the sea, and not on us, as we drop the news to him. Let's go to the beacch first, and then introduce him to some other Beings. With the wings and everything, his battery should last until after the ball, right? Where is he now, actually? I lost track of him as I was talking to Riversong. Did he already meet with Janus? He should meet with Janus..."

[VisAnastasis]

" Yes, his battery should last until the Ball, but if we want to be safe, we can still ask Eros to bring his vessel back to the capital during the night for a quick recharge. It is better to always keep it safe and have spare energy in case an emergency happens and he needs to spend more energy than regular breathing and living requires, unlike certain someone that always has already spent his strength diligently by the time an emergency comes up, " Conrad teased with a little snort, as he added thoughtfully. " And currently Simel should be with Sage still, I imagine he's likely showing him around the mansion a bit to ease him into getting used to the new place so it isn't overwhelming. He is good at that kind of thing, he was quite helpful in putting people at ease during his brief stay in hiding in the capital three years ago. But regarding meeting with Janus, I agree, that is something we need to decide how to handle. Honestly, Janus did give us a big benefit of the doubt in aiding a person who was up until recently enemy of his kind, so I'd like it if he could see he made the right choice, but it is kind of hard to decide how to arrange that meeting in a way that doesn't make either too anxious. Hmm... Alpha seems to be avoiding Hans for his own lovesick reasons currently, so as far as I understood, he left to check on Janus and the kids, so he should still be with them, so it might be easier to feel confident when someone they both got to know is already there. The residence where Janus and the kids live which is meant for actors is spacious and has trees, but also an exit to the little private beach to the side, so it would also be a nice place to introduce the sea from after the meeting. Carriges aren't as common on relatively smaller island cities, compared to the capital, but Sage owns one, so we can always borrow it if we wish to keep views of the sea more of a surprise until we get to the garden there...  "

[Mirach]

"Janus will also want to check the runes on the wings, so we can use that as an excuse, so that it's not such an awkward meeting at first," Svarik said.