Senecio adn Tide II

[Mirach]

Death waited for a bit, and the opened the letter.

(OOC: I fear I don't remember what we wanted to do... I think Svarik wanted to talk to Conrad about that, but I don’t remember what exactly he wanted to suggest. Maybe we will figure it out as they talk. And for Senecio, should the play and ball be today?)

[VisAnastasis]

As he was reading, Death could indeed see that it was a little outdated, limited to the knowledge Ben had at the time he fell asleep. Many things were similar to what he spoke of today, although, while the present Ben spoke with pensiveness and reservation coming from new circumstances, the past Ben spoke with both great warmth and regret. He apologized for everyone putting so much effort into saving him and having it end up in vain. Terrified of possibly hurting them on his way out, he apologised profusely, expressing hope everyone was okay. He apologised to Death for leaving him to grow up in human life without Ben to look out for him, and he explained how, even though legally it is not possible to give something to a Being with no human citizenship, in his Will he left substantial amount to Lord Nameless, Owl and Conrad meant for Death's human life. That was the only thing he had at the time to make sure Death could grow up without lacking anything.

He was a little less resolute about not being Riversong, but it could still clearly be felt that he had trouble addressing himself as such. But what he was clear about though, was that he wasn't in love with Death. It was also unconfession, but with a different tone from today, since he back then believed Death may have feelings for him. He explained how he felt stuck between two fires - Jake's unsaid confession when their minds were connected as Semai, and ambiguous situationship with Death. How he feared that Death would cut ties with him if he told him he did not see him that way, and that then even if he survived, he would be left all alone if he only woke up in the distant future. How he was afraid to tell either anything affirmative or negative to Jake, too, because it felt cruel to give someone hope if he were to die a few days later... How he felt great guilt, for accepting Death's care without returning his feelings, and how he did plan to give his best to return those feelings if he survived, but is apologetic that now that he's dead he could not. How Death can definitely find someone much better, and how he selfishly took advantage of him so he should not grieve for him much anyway, writing more fiercely and poorly of himself, as if hoping Spirit would grieve for him less if he thinks ill of him, just like he'd be unkind to Svarik, hoping meadow king would not grieve for him if he grows to dislike him.

Still, despite best efforts, it was hard to hide his true feelings. After writing his personal thoughts, the last largest section of the letter, consisting of many pages, was a detailed and systematic summary of Riversong's research on souls. With great care, Ben organised all he could and everything he thought might be helpful to Death. He did not directly mention Death's injury in the letter, to hide it even there, but as if hoping at least one word could be a clue that could help him get better, he wrote, as systematically as one would if he wrote a scientific paper, pouring all Riversong's years of research and all his own human education to organise it all. He wrote how he talked in more detail with White in dreams, but how summary was vital in entangling everything into a way that data would be useful. And so, all until the text ended, there were no more personal thoughts, only many pages of research, written in more tidy, small letters from some point on - it seemed that when it got too painful to write words himself, he asked help from Erdel to dictate the rest to him, so he could make sure it would be legible enough for Death to not miss anything due to his lacking handwriting.

( OOC: Hi! No worries, we can play to figure out what they wanted, I did have the impression at the time that it was about yesterday when they had trouble hiding their relationship in front of others, but we didn't talk of it in detail, so it could be something else, we'll surely get feel for it when they talk about it <3 As for when the play and ball are, I checked, in the last post, we talked of it it was supposed to be tomorrow from now since we were then discussing if or not there should be one more rehearsal today before the play tomorrow, but since no rehearsal is required, it would be okay if we move it to be today, too, if you'd prefer it to happen sooner, so it depends on if we want to give Senecio and others slower day today to prepare for tomorrow for those events more, or if Senecio would be more focused on getting ready to overcome his new rehearsal today. I am okay with either if you prefer it more, from things missing for Ball, if I recall right, Svarik wanted to ask Alpha for an outfit for Lipka too, but he was hesitant because Alpha was weary. If so in either case we just should make sure Lipka isn't left out. Melody wouldn't need much since she is a Spirit, but when making something for Lipka Alpha would make little something for her as well. If the play is tomorrow, Erdel will spend most of today hunting if not called, but if the play is today he'd return sooner to escort Senecio to the theatre and do his part to support him <3

[Mirach]

(OOC: I wanted to check, but didn’t find enough time to actually find it. I think we have delayed the play long enough, let's just say it's today and the ball is the day after, so that there's more time to get a dress for Lipka)

After Riversong went to talk to Death, Svarik sought out Conrad to see of they could talk somewhere in private.

[VisAnastasis]

( OOC: Oki, deal (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶) )

Conrad stood up and followed Svarik, but he seemed to have a lot on his mind despite listening to the request immediately. While it was not obvious to everyone, the meadow king who knew him well could see man felt at a loss and unsure in a situation he didn't have much experience with. He has clearly been painfully aware of how poorly he had been hiding his unusual behaviour yesterday while they were making Simbel's wings, so he must have been racking his brain thinking about it and didn't seem to have decided how to address it yet.