Re: Svarik and the company II

[VisAnastasis]

" You don't need to thank me yet. Thank me in the morning, if I succeed. " Demon just replied quietly and simply. " If I do not... I wish to just say, that I am grieved about it, in advance, and apologize. I hate pointless death. I know traitors are not graced with peace after death... But I can promise you as much, that I would make sure that your body is treated with dignity and respect. I shall find you a nice place for burial, and I shall bring you flowers, and remember you. They say no one is actually dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away... You will live in my memory, at least, as long as I do live, too. And I will make sure to bring you nice flowers, every once in a while, if by some miracle, I do not die and follow your example, too. I will remember. "

[Mirach]

"Thank you. But I don't want flowers. Just tell whomever plays Flinding that you know a better one. That's how I want to be remembered."

[VisAnastasis]

" I will tell them, if that's how you wish for it to be. I will be telling the truth, anyway. From what I've seen, you probably do make the best Flinding. I told you that you moved me. If you want to be remembered as him, then you will.  " he promised solemnly, but then, he still smiled a little thoughtfully. " I think Flinding, with his dramatic lines of love and beauty, does deserve a nice burial, though. I will still find him some nice spot at top of some hill, where sunlight looks ever so soulful and lovely, and where stars are the brightest, some nice place, like this. And I shall still bring him flowers. Violets, yes. Like violet in the grass, that was his love. " he exclaimed. " I will plant violets at his grave, so they would bloom each year, just for him. It is only fitting resting place for best Flinding that I know. "

[Mirach]

Senecio smiled, moved by that. "He would like it..." he whispered.

[VisAnastasis]

" Then it's a promise. " demon proclaimed, but he seemed to get all flustered up, as, having sensitive senses, he could feel that his words reached Senecio's heart and touched it. He did not seem to know what to do with those flustered feelings, light from his body just shining with some redder embarrassed shade. "Just... Don't feel too bad if I don't keep it, okay? I mean, if I have more luck than brains tomorrow, and I actually do manage to do something for him. " he bid quietly, as if in fear to disappoint him. " I see you love all those... satisfying endings... And being buried covered with violets sure sounds nice when said... But I still hope to not have to get to it. I promised you I will go see this play, of Flinding and his love. I do not want to settle myself with inferior Flinding. " he proclaimed embarrassingly, his voice trembling shyly. " I would rather see the best one again, in his best edition. I would rather have you play before me in person, that just remember it from one monologue. I know it's anticlimactic, and death is dramatic where life is not, but I do not care about that. I would rather watch you, that that Marco guy, so try to have at least a little bit of faith in me tomorrow, okay?  "

[Mirach]

"It's still hard to believe that you would actually do it for me," Senecio admitted. "I didn't even have to lie..."

[VisAnastasis]

" I would not do it for a liar. I hate, being deceived. I would get really mad and hurt, had I gaineed impression you want to hang out with me only to see if you can soften my heart and be all smug about coaxing me to defend you. You was suspitiously nice at times, but  I did not get such impression, at least.  "Tide said simply." In anticiparion of death, you just happened to be honest, for once, and so talked to me and let me know you a bit. I guess I just like what I see. " He shrugged a little shyly." I would not bother, had I not believed you deserve it. You are a tricky one..  it is hard to figure out when you are lying and when honest.... but I do not think you evil, only confused. You clearly need some professional help to umderstand yourself and sort out your issues, but all in all, you are lad on place, without inherent hate or pleasure in suffering of others. You need help, patience, and care to move on. You need to be helped, not shamed. You should make amends, not end being. "

[Mirach]

"I don't know about that..." Senecio murmured. "I did not lie to you, but I wasn't entirely honest either, so maybe you will reconsider the assesment of my character. I didn't seek to coax you into defending me, that's true. But you are right in beng suspicious of my niceness. I was looking for company in my last night... and maybe something more than just company. When I recited Flinding's part towards you, I actually meant it... It wasn't deception, I just wanted to see if maybe.... and I guess not..."

[VisAnastasis]

" W...What...?" Tide's voice flickered, indeed, seeming taken aback by that statement. His hands clenched defensively, as if in pain. " You... Please... Stop using those words so lightly, okay? " he stuttered, seeming very tense, it appearing he does not know if he should be embarrassed or offended. " Love is a sacred word, pure, divine... And we just met. You can not just recite me some beautiful poem, and think I would fall for you just like that. Love takes time, and getting to know one another. You have to earn it. You sure as hell can not expect to seduce me in one night, just by some pretty words, out of blue! I told you I am looking for serious relationship, not a one time stand... " he sneered, looking away uncomfortably and tensely, straightening up, retreating away from him, defensively. " Yeah... You are a famous actor.. after all... I imagine you must do it all the time, courting pretty boy and ladies... It's nothing new to you.... " his lip trembled. " Just... Just how easy do you think I am? "

[Mirach]

"It's you who wanted honesty. It was just a thought, and I saw that you are looking for real love, not pleasure, so I did not pursue it. I admire you, actually. You have lived for eons, and are still looking for it. I needed just a few years to give up in that and just content myself with the other thing. Maybe that's why my Flinding does not make the earth tremble..."

[VisAnastasis]

Tide did not look at him, trying to remain calm, breathing with some hardship, appearing almost as if trying to meditate through gritted teeth. He seemed quite unsure, what to think of aall this .
" It... it is not wrong... to seek for pleasure. Do not feel guilty, if that are all your aspirations. But, um... a free advise... " He cleared his throat, as if trying to distance himself from too intimate subject. " Never flirt with Demons, like this. I told you I brake damn boats when just hapy and excited... what do you think a Demon could do when in such excitement? Brake your neck, for sure. For there to be any pleasure at all, between demon and human, instead of pain and injury, there has to be lot of trust and patience involved. " He could not help but sneer a bit. " Flirting with Demons, without wish for anything more... It's a recipe for disaster. I could brake your arm, I mean, just with two of my fingers, in flicke of passion.." he burst out, flustered. " Bad things happen, when I am nervous. I need to be very calm and secure in relationship, for it to be nice as it is meant to. What on earth..  would.... make you think....  That knocking on my door would be any good idea?"

[Mirach]

"Well, if there was any good time to try, it was now..." Senecio shrugged. "If I have to get my neck broken, this way seems preferrable to me. But this," he made a gesture encompassing the beach, the stars and Tide's company, "...I like this as well. Even more, I think..."

[VisAnastasis]

Tide blushed a little. He still seemed withdrawn, but not anymore that tense, only somewhat thoughtful.
" Well... you certainly know how to flatter... thanks, I guess... " he comented bit sadly. " But I know what you like even more, more than anything. Behold! Your one true love in this world, all ready for you! " He mustered the strenght to tease him a bit, trying to go with what was his best dramatic, although trembling voice, as he hesitantly extended hand to him - with two potatoes, a little charred, but perfectly and evenly baked, with care,  for him.

[Mirach]

Senecio chuckled. "Then it's no question, this is better...." He took the potatoes and blowed on them, because they were too hot yet.

[VisAnastasis]

" I will make us some more then, as soon as I make the tea first... " Tide whispered quietly. He left salt and butter   beside Senecio so he could spice the food as he liked, while he took the kettle and herbs he packed up. He started making the warm beverage in his hands, then, still appearing somehow touchy and absent minds, lost in thought.

[Mirach]

Senecio did not disturb him and quietly ate the potato, looking at thebsea and stars.

[VisAnastasis]

Tide did not speak either, in unusually long quiet time for him. He seemed to be thinking through some things, reflecting on their past conversations in light of new information he was given. He did not speak until the tea was boiling, and he carefully poured one cup for himself, and then poured a cup to Senecio too.

" You are not a deceptive person, for trying to see if someone's available or not... " he told him his conclusion quietly then, hesitantly offering him the warm soothing beverage. "  I always struggle with figuring out the same thing, too. It's hard for me to ask such personal stuff. At times, it seems to me that there is no available creature in the whole universe at all, interested in me... " he smiled a little sadly then, looking melancholic, somehow. " You are not a bad person... You just happen to have bad taste in men, it seems, that's all. You need not fret, though. I did not change my mind. I will still speak on your behalf in the morning, none the less. "

[Mirach]

"Thanks," Senecio said simply for both the tea and for Tide not changing his mind.

[VisAnastasis]

Tide nodded back to him, and he fell in silence then. He took his cup, watching for a moment how bright stars are reflected within the little cup, before he slowly started to drink from it.

[Mirach]

"How much longer can we stay before they discover we are gone?" Senecio asked when he finished the tea and potatoes.

[VisAnastasis]

" Knowing Hans, he will want his beauty sleep after all the stress... And he'll want you to fret and sweat for your life as long as possible. He can be like that, when in ill mood. " Tide sighed. " So, no worried about him suddenly barging in my room and finding us gone... So we should only return with first morning lights. That means we have around an hour free still, if you want to stay here. Would you want to? Or is there anything else you'd rather do? We could try to play the lute a bit... Or... I brought my favorite books of love poetry and stories, so I could show them to you. " he admitted slowly, looking away, seeming embarrassed over it, in light of Senecio's previous admission, wiggling nervously with his fingers over delicate cup. " You showed me your favorite roles, so I figured, they are not my roles, sure, but are some nice pieces of human literature I like. Mostly love stuff, though, stuff that Flinding monologue reminded me of, that I thought you may like... But it's okay if we don't read, after all... "

[Mirach]

"I don't want to spend that much time reading, but I would like to see which are your favourites. Can you show me three poems that you like most? Then we will still have some time to try figuring oit hiw to play the lute."

[VisAnastasis]

" Three is as good number as any, I guess. " Tide said shyly, and he took his books for a moment, picking carefully. Then he took out first one, but he dared not speak it. Instead, he handed book to the man, finding it more proper for him to read it for himself. When Senecio took it, he first noticed that it looked quite more like journal, than book, and hand wiring style was quite developed, with lot of sweet curls and little hearts, and font quite delicate and sweet... it seemed that Tide loved to, when finding something he liked, write it down in a book, for himself.

His first choice was the poem called simply, "If You Forget Me":


I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine."

[Mirach]

"So it actually says "I love you as long as you love me, but once you stop, then bye", Senecio remarked after reading the poem. "That's a good philosophy. Why waste time loving someone who doesn't love you back, right? Although half of the plays with love plot is about that..."

[VisAnastasis]

" That is why I love it. It's unusual. It's true. It speaks to me. " Tide nodded a little more freely, as he went on passionately. " If somebody stops loving you, it's neglecting and hurting your feelings, and it is bad for you. Once you see it is not working out, you should not just cling to someone out of habit, but move on, to find somebody who'll appreciate you better. It would be toxic to stay in bad insincere bond. I did have couple of more promising relationships... But once they started not working out, there came always that time, when I had to be the one to end them, for good of us both involved. This one... Speaks to me. Love is an effort. A two way street. If you are only one that's trying to keep it's flames up, then flame died out. Both side need to want it and desire one another, for it to keep burning. It is just such a simple truth. That's why I love it. "