Senecio adn Tide II

[Mirach]

"Sure, thank you," Svarik nodded. "I'd take rosehip tea."

[VisAnastasis]

Eros spoke a couple of words of instructions, upon which, a nice ceramic pot, cups, and a couple of ingredients appeared up on the table, including the herbs needed for rosehip tea. Being brew it by the fire, and while the water was boiling, he took other ingredients he brought, that were rather high in calories, spreading hands over them as he seemed to be using some of his power over chemicals, to separate the most nutrient parts of those ingredients, working without rush, just humming calmly some tune as chemicals were being parted.

Besides nutrients, he also picked a couple of healthy fruits and extracted some useful vitamins chemicals from them, leaving only fine dust from them all, that he neatly disposed of in the fire.

When tea was brewed, he sweetened it with the mixture of nutrients he made, stirred it carefully, and filled two cups, one placing on the table for himself, and timidly handing the other to Svarik.

[Mirach]

"Thank you," Svarik nodded, getting more comfortable with the tea. "I asked to talk to you because you understand love and can read feelings. I can’t really figure out my own, so that seems like something you could help me with, right?"

[VisAnastasis]

Eros sat down on respectful distance, stirring his tea with the spoon as he listened.
" I think that in most cases, we all have some complicated feelings that are hard to grasp on our own unless given a proper voice, " Being replied to his request, and took a sip, before adding. " Some things are easier to speak about with friends, some with strangers, and for this, you may feel more confident speaking with someone like me. If that resolution wanes, you are free to stop, if it gets too personal, and I will stop inquiring, " he noted gently. " But if your resolution is still strong, I'd like to hear what's troubling you... "

[Mirach]

"Thank you. All I need is your word that you want talk of it with someone else. But I assume you wouldn't anyway, right?"

[VisAnastasis]

" I do not know what exactly you wish to talk about, but yes, when I speak of others, I never speak of things said in confidence, only of what is common knowledge, common sense, or what person themselves permits me to speak of them. It would be pretty troublesome... If a person that has such inside knowledge on so many people would use it carelessly, " Being replied, stirring his tea quietly. " The promise you seek... I do have one exception. I am ready to disclose private information in case if it would dramatically improve or save the life of someone I deem worthy of me. For example, if someone were to seek suicide over a misunderstanding with you over what we will talk about, even if private, I would rather ease misunderstanding than lose a life. But that is something you would abide by too, I hope, " Being inquired tentatively. " Would it bother you if I leave myself some space for crisis situations? I do not think yours will be one of those cases where it is needed, but I hope you will understand the need for my exception. You would be surprised how many times people would choose to open up to me, only for it to be the last time I speak with them... "

[Mirach]

"That's a reasonable condition I can accept with no problem. But it's not so dramatic really. It's a bit of a classic love triangle," Svarik smiled a little sarcastically. "So I have a girlfriend, Lipka. And I have Conrad, and it's both completely different relationship. I've heard it's common in the Mountains to have a Semai and a spouse, and it's often not the same person. But I'm not from the Mountains and I find it hard to reconcile with it. Conrad has Melody, too and that feels a bit strange as well because she's like my mother. Also, Lipka is pregnant and she didn’t tell me. I think she doesn't want to limit me with it, but I'm a Listener. Of course I can hear the extra heartbeat... But I can't tell her before she decides to tell me. And then there's this immortality thing. Conrad chose it, and I don’t want to leave him alone in it. But Lipka doesn't want it. I'm already decided, but can't stop feeling like betraying her. Also, I think I'm starting to feel something for Conrad that's not purely platonic. Well, that's about it..."

[VisAnastasis]

Eros listened to him attentively, looking rather interesting. He smiled a little in the end.
" Yes, it does sound more like a love circle that a love triangle, " he said then softly. " I am glad it is nothing too dangerous yet, but with so many undefined relationships, someone is bound to end up hurt if it's left as it is. You've given me a lot of food for thought, but we have to start from somewhere. Immortality is a big choice. While I do not know your girlfriend Lipka yet - not wanting it is perfectly fine. It has nothing to do with whether she loves you or not. She can love you even though she may feel immortality is not for her," Being paused. " I am sincerely a little surprised - why would you becoming immortal be a betrayal to her, but her not wanting to be immortal by your side is not a betrayal of you? " he asked seriously, his soft eyes watching him with interest. " You are ready to do something you don't want to for sir Falcon and be immortal even if you're unsure about it, just so he would not be alone, while she wouldn't want to do the same for you. Isn't what you are doing more admirable? I personally do not think either of you is wrong, but if someone is being less thoughtful of loneliness of their loved ones in the face of eternity, it is not you, little one... "

[Mirach]

"I don't think so. Conrad would be alone, but she knows I wouldn't. I'm just afraid she might be making that choice because she doesn't want to stand between us, or maybe she hopes I will prioritize her because of it because my time with her will be finite while with Conrad it won’t. And I kinda feel that I should do that, but also don't really want to... They are both inportant to me..."

[VisAnastasis]

" I hear a lot of maybes from you. I do not want to be the one to point it out, but it's rather obvious there are more assumptions and distrust in your relationship than is healthy, " Eros said quietly. " It is - maybe she wants this, maybe she wants that... maybe she hides pregnancy for this reason, maybe for that... It is alright to not know someone fully, but when your first thoughts are that either someone wants to sacrifice themselves needlessly to stay out of your other relationship, or that they hope you'll pay them more attention if you have less time with them - which of those two scream healthy for either of you? The way I see it, you'll be miserable either way, thinking you're neglecting either one or the other person, " Eros replied simply. " I am asking because I wish us to understand more. For example, as you surely must know, sir Falcon also has his own thoughts on this. He is terribly worried his choice is forcing your hand. He feels like you would only do this to sacrifice for him, and doesn't want you to be unhappy. To be truthful, it seems half part of his coping is trying to adjust to the fact that you'll die one day. He really wants you to stay with him, but he tries his best to always leave the question open so you don't feel guilty if you choose to remain mortal in the end... "

[Mirach]

Svarik nodded slowly. "To me, Conrad is someone to share the journey with. Lipka is a destination, someone to walk towards to, stay for a while and then leave again. She's alright with that, but I don't think it's fair to her."

[VisAnastasis]

" Fairness is subjective... Is she really alright with that? If she is, isn't it a touch disrespectful towards her, to deem what makes her happy is unsuitable? If she is happy, but you are not, it is not her, but you that have to catch up to her. If she is in truth not happy, and you are not happy either - that won't work. All relationships are a dance, " Eros said gently, and he sipped from his tea, without rush, before placing back at the king, and added seriously. " Listen, little one... People tend to generalize love. They say, it is this, it is that... But each love is unique. Because there are so many ways in which people can be happy, there are equal ways in which others make them happy. If you and Conrad are bees, and Lipka is your favourite flower, is it not a surprise that you would be happy flying with your fellow bee, and happy resting upon your beloved flower? You can love both the bee and the flower deeply, only in different ways - one is a company, another a comfort. It is not wrong if all parties understand and agree to that state. It is only wrong if a bee is not happy being a bee, or the flower is not happy with being a flower... "

[Mirach]

"I'm just not sure if I understand her," Svarik said. "She's keeping her pregnancy secret from me, and it's her right, but I can’t be sure if she's not keeping some other feelings secret as well."

[VisAnastasis]

" Well, I could check on her feelings more through the bond with you, but I don't think that's the answer you need... Honestly, it mostly feels like both of you need to sit down and have a long and open talk and admit to each other what's bothering you about where you stand right now. Besides, you are aware... that mister Conrad, well... probably, definitely knows about the pregnancy too? I am almost certain of it, so technically, it's more likely they are both in on this together, " Eros suggested carefully. " Sir Conrad mentioned to me you were supposed to go on a dangerous journey, but that your friend Liron choose another companion, so you don't have to go, after all. They both have their own reasons - to protect you or keep a piece of you after you're gone, it is what it is. How many secrets there are isn't important, but that people are certain where they stand despite the secrets. Mister Falcon is very open about his feelings for you, but your lady is not, so it is natural to grow cautious with such a big secret... If the doubts fester, without talking it through, your feelings for her may grow cold. " Eros said quietly. " Do you feel like you want to let it come to pass, or fight against it and reafirm your bond? The only way to fight against it is to find a common language, but I have to say this first... before talking to her, you need to decide, not what do others want from this love circle, but what you want from it. Not just respecting other's wishes... but what is your wish, deep down, deepest down, in the deepest part of your heart? " Eros asked, with some unusual, both confidential and curious tone of voice, warm and inquiring, captivating to listen to. " You don't want to choose between the two - that is just something you don't want in the situation, not what you want. But ideally, what is your desire from it? If you could write future, to happen as in your wildest dream - what would it be? "

[Mirach]

"I'm not really surprised that Conrad knows," Svarik said, addressing that first to get some time to think about the question. "If it's her wish to not tell me, then I'm glad he's respecting it. But I want to respect it too, that's why I can’t talk to her about it and need to wait for her to do it, if she decides so. As to what I want... I fear it's hard to imagine. It would be finding some way of reconciling being a king of the land with being a husband, a father and a Semai. The last part is easiest because our interests for the land are the same. But I can’t imagine the rest..."

[VisAnastasis]

Eros listened attentively, playing with the edge of a teacup, seeming rather interested in a conversation and curious of Svarik's perspective on it.
" That is certainly a lot on the plate. It all depends on all three parties that eat from it, and the forth that is young Melody, yet, the situation is a pickle precisely because all of you are trying to protect one another and don't want to be hasty and hurt each other... Honestly, it's cute and has some promise, " he said wonderingly. " Alright, we focused on your lady, and conclusion so far, you want to be a good husband and father if given a chance, but won't make the first move before she addresses the unsaid... So how about we address your man now first? " he smiled, narrowing his eyes curiously, suggesting gently. " You said you've been developing some interesting feelings on that side, yes? Come on, don't leave me hanging - how that came to be? He sure is quite an interesting man, with a lot of flairs, so, no surprise here. On a scale from a casual man-crush to an embarrassing secret crush, how bad is it currently? "

[Mirach]

"Uh, well... I'm not quite sure. I mean, it's a bit awkward considering he's courting Melody. It's not physical, but... it's such a strong bond that the line dividing it from romantic feelings is getting rather blurry..."

[VisAnastasis]

" That is true. I have to say, I was a little surprised that the two of you are not an item. What you have is just so healthy and tender, it's so enjoyable and empowering to witness, " being sighed pleasantly, seeming to enjoy something delicious beyond this realm, much tastier than the tea. " I am not saying you have to act upon it - a lot of people remain good friends and it doesn't prevent them from being close still. But since you both choose immortality, it is true that it can become complicated if left unaddressed. Don't think about whether he is courting someone or not, right now. Don't think about how complicated it is with Melody or Lipka - if you do that, all you would be thinking of, would be that you have to remain loyal and that you don't want to steal lover from your parental figure, either. That way, you won't figure out at all what do "you" desire, only be chained by what you feel like is proper to do. So, you say feelings are more romantic than physical? " he inquired gently. " If there were no Lipka, or Melody, what would you do? What romantic bond means to you, and how different it is from being close friends? You don't desire to sleep with him, at least not in the moment, but what in your relationship would feel more elevated, if it were to become more romantic?  "

[Mirach]

"It's blurry, right? Maybe just a matter of semantics... Or rather of feeling more comfortable with touches. It does feel different when you're touching someone as a friend and someone you love. Sometimes... I would just like to kiss him," Svarik looked away. "But I feel it's too late. He asked me about it before, openly. But it was some time ago, and I didn’t have such feelings yet. Or maybe I didn’t realize I had them, I don’t know."

[VisAnastasis]

" So, if someone asks once and gets rejected, it means the two people can't get together ever for forever? " Eros probed with interest. " It could be too late, or it could not, but whatever it turns to be, deciding against even acknowledging it would be a loss, don't you think? An automatic loss, without even inquiring. If he was brave enough to ask openly the first time, why don't you ask the second time? " Being inquired, watching him as intently as before when he inquired about Lipka. " It is okay to be scared of losing all you have, on both sides. A lot of societies deem these thoughts like a seed for cheating. But I do not think so. I think it is only cheating if it is kept secret from other parties. But there are as many ways people define romantic relationships as there are people, and how far someone is lenient is also a part of it. I do not think you had good enough chances to widen your horizons when constantly struggling for survival... You know, it's no wonder. Empire is very monogamous and strict, " Being shook its head sadly. " Mister Svarik... I do not think this is the situation where you are falling out of love with Lipka and falling in love with Conrad, at least, not for now. A lot of people are like you, being able to love more people in the same time. Everything is a label we choose, but if you wish to know the label, it is called polyamory. It's not that common here, because customs can be strict, but in some other parts of the world, and among Beings, it is not as strange. If you were born in some other land, it could be perfectly fine if you married both of them, and raised your children, adopted or biological, together as family. Did you perhaps get a chance to meet the craftsmen that worked on the props for Senecio's play? They are five excellent craftsmen, 3 Spirits and 2 Demons, and are all in a relationship. They have children between themselves whom they all consider their own, and some of them are phisical with each other, some not. One is non binary, one is genderless, on top of that. All of them live happily as they are, with their younglings. I am poliamorous, too. It is not as serious as it is with you and sir Conrad yet, I feel, as immortal and moral bonds are more complicated - but I currently have one girlfriend and two boyfriends, and am in an open relationship where I have permission to be intimate with others as I see fit, and I am rather happy where things stand. It is perfectly normal and okay... "

[Mirach]

"Polyamory?" Svarik asked with wonder. "But... how does it work? Can some people in it be in a relationship and others not? Like... Conrad with Lipka or me with Melody? And doesn’t it really weaken any of the relationships?"

[VisAnastasis]

" Of course not, if it's done right. It needs trust on all sides, but it can happen if everyone is okay about the limits. If done right, it can actually strenghten all bonds"  Eros explained."  Think about it - different people offer different things. If in Lipka you find comfort, and in Conrad safety, don't you get double the happiness with both? If you don't have relationship with Conrad, he only has one bond to invest in, and it is huge pressure to make it work - because if it doesn't work, he ends up alone. If he has two, he would feel more secure. Likewise, if you are secretly unhappy about not being able to be more with Conrad but never voice it, won't Lipka be unhappy, feeling you are with her more from habbit and obligation than love, and that you secretly wait for her to die so you can start a bond with Conrad one day? And won't Melody be unhappy watching all that? I am not saying it has to end this wait, but looking at four of you, you have good healthy foundation," Eros tempted gently " If it is a chaotic secret love circle everyone losses a little. If everyone chooses it, it is no longer a circle of conflicted love. You can have relationship with Conrad and Lipka, while he has it with you and Melody... Now, that is much more of a love constellation, not circle, isn't it?"

[Mirach]

Svarik looked thoughtful as he was considering Eros's words. "Yes, it does sound better..." he murmured. "I think there's another star in that constellation, though. The kingdom. In relationship with both Conrad and me. Do you think it's a constellation that can be balanced properly?"

[VisAnastasis]

" Well, being a king, and him being entangled in your ruling, you know best the king of dedication and time it takes, " Eros, who was bold before, got a little timid with mention of rulership, as it was a little sensitive theme, with his history. " I do believe, in general, that it's bad if you keep up with the current tempo for too long - it's too exhausting. But it's true it takes a lot of work and balancing - even a responsible king with one mate can have troubles if he works himself to death. But if you both try hard to have a reasonable pace and don't make others in the bond feel neglected, yes, why shouldn't it work? Four may seem a lot of people to balance out, with the land - but I have seen successful polyamory bonds with over ten people. Regarding you two and the kingdom, all the more than time, you have to balance power between you - you know best, even though I have lived his life partly through his feelings, I do not know what exactly happened, but I get the gist of it. He will be unhappy if he does not feel equal to you because he feels land's prosperity is equally his and your merit, " Eros explained. " From Hans and him, I get enough context that he has a criminal record and that it is complicated, and some other similar context that I don't think I should talk about. But for him, friendship or romance, sense of equality and mutual trust is most important. Right now, the insane amount of care and devotion you give each other makes it up to him as it makes you equal, but in the long run, I think he will grow more miserable if his need for recognition isn't tended properly, and you get all the glory for all his work. He needs to be recognized for the fruit of his labor. My advice regarding that, relationship or not involved, is finding best way to get him on your level. Find a way to make him as recognized and powerful in the land as you, for all to see. I am not saying you should, like, marry him and make him a King, but something has to be done. If he is not constantly anxious about his limts, both you and him will be able to have healthier relationship with the kingdom, and balancing all the other parts will be much easier. If that part remains unbalanced, it is like having torn in the hand - it may not kill you, and you may still keep going to the point of it being worth it, but you can not quite happily play flute with wounded hand even if you can technically play it like that. "

[Mirach]

"Marry him and make him a king?" Svarik raised his eyebrows in wonder. "I must say I've been trying hard to think of a solution to the problem you are talking about, but that option never occured to me. Well, if everything else fails - and I really hope it doesn't, I do have another plan I want to try right now - it may be a possibility..."