Senecio adn Tide II

[VisAnastasis]

" Yes, I asked him, and I double checked it with him when I sent Mole to order colours, " Ben reassured him, likewise, just like Svarik, having a brighter expression when imagining finished wings. " For outer, strongest feathers, and for biggest part, he would like to have black wings, and said he'd like to see any iridescence we can come up with, so we're going with extra magical looking iridescence that looks shiny and enchanting in sunlight. And for inner side of wings and highlights at the ends of feathers, he'd like pink highlights, so that black is base colour, and pink is an accent to it. Alpga can add stardust into pink, so it looks like it's glittering under light, too. I had high hopes, and money  and his ridiculous random skills indeed did not disappoint, look! Sir Falcon is insanely good, he managed to get us an extra rare limited pink colour, " Ben proclaimed, showing Svarik one sizeable large bucket, opening up to reveal concentrated smooth colour. " Now, this is quality I am talking about! Limited batch made three years ago, from special pink pearls and shells from the west, in the exact shade of Simbel's eyes and hair! What a grade A material, isn't it? And black is the most expensive, limited black too, usually reserved only for limited Bull rituals. Simbel is going to look crazy good! "

---

Tide purred a little more loudly. He slowly loosened up the embrace, and brought closer and fixed Senecio's pillows, so he could sit more comfortably, tucking him in the cloak more comfortably, as if revelling in a chance to act affectionately.
" I must admit, it would be pretty hard if you asked me to get mad at the past you with you. It's hard to get mad at someone you think highly of, " Demon grinned brightly at him, caressing his hair lightly. " But drink, making drinks is a very easy request! I could even brew them in my hands, by warming them. What drink do you crave? Do you wish for some tea? I've seen you drink teas much more frequently these days since Janus began offering them, do you have a thing for teas, or do you just like them as he makes them? Or would you rather have some spiced milk? Tea with milk? Hot chocolate? Are there any flavours you are especially partial to? " he inquired curiously. "  I know you love colourful cocktails I mixed you a few days ago, but I don't know what you prefer from the warm ones.  What kind of drinks spark joy to you?"

[Mirach]

"He is indeed," Svarik agreed. "Alright, let's stir the color. He took the first can of the black pain and emptied it into the cauldron.

---

Senecio thought for a moment. "How about spiced tea with milk? It's called masala, I think. I'd like that, and some of that promised pampering," he smiled. "Then we can discuss how we want to play the scene further tomorrow."

[VisAnastasis]

They mixed up a lot of blackest black, and its quality could be seen in its shine, as they added bottle after bottle to fill the cauldron and mixed it with water and stirred it until it was perfect. But still, after Alpha joined in in the end and dramatically took out a bag and sprinkled something shiny in it as if in a fairytale gesture of springing starlight, the black colour looked like a night sky full of countless shimmering stars - and as they began colouring feathers, once by one carefully, each feather also shimmered in the same way, iridescent under light, but shimmering like it was covered in stars in the dark.

It was a lot of work, but since there were many hands, it was progressing nicely. The same was happening at Ben's side. It seemed that synergy with Alpha and Eros whom he roped in to help was reducing the time greatly. All on his own, it seemed it would have been much more ardious work, especially now with one hand. But Alpha had six arms, and a good sense of teamwork, having worked with humans for centuries, so he easily followed Ben's gestures so his disability would not inconvenience him, holding and handing things to him easily, and Eros was great at manipulating matter and chemicals. So, while he was clearly pouring lot of himself into work, it was obvious burden on his was greatly reduced. It was enchanting and impressive, how both meats, minerals and blood he drew from Eros and Alphsa were shifting and shaping up into something that looked alive under Ben's touch, as malleable as clay under his passionate desire to build something amazing that will last.

By the time Svarik and others were almost done with colouring Sun Spirit batch of feathers, bones were already nowhere to be seen, all coated with meat and strong-looking muscles shaped for flight and tail to match it. It was still featherless, so it was not recognisable yet, but the foundation felt extremely strong and sturdy, almost the same as Solstice's wings, with such high-quality materials and Ben's hard work to up the quality. The foundation was done, so Eros was sent back to sea, to check if runes were carved in the meantime so they could bring the weasel to put wings and tail muscles and body together first.

---

" Does it look like I am delaying pampering to tease you? It was not my plan, although I can't lie it is a little fun to watch your anticipation, " Tide chuckled, and, as if he could not resist the temptation, he cupped Senecio's face with the palms of his hands, and leaned head against his, kissing his forehead, and then nuzzling slightly against it with his own, as if trying to sneakily steal a little more closeness, purring loudly as he did so. " But, if we can't have Beast King be a brute that is grabby and touchy with his anxious wounded consort before he reassures him, surely you are glad that I waited until you calmed down a bit, and did not turn into a grabby careless boyfriend who is all touchy with you while you're going through an emotional crisis, now, aren't you? Do things feel a little better and clearer with the talk? Clear enough for my touches to not bring bad feelings to the surface? " he asked, as, with soft, growing yearning, he carefully kissed the actor's forehead anew, caressing his face and passing across his hair in the same gesture, since his palms were large, not seeming to be able to tear his hands away from him. " Since I have bitten you hundreds of times, I owe you at very least hundreds of kisses as compensation, you know... " he teased him with a timid, bathed breath. " I won't forget to give them to you. And my cute sweet boyfriend who got his clothes all torn up definitely deserves a nice drink to warm up, as thanks for his troubles... but damn... it's so hard to make it. Should I have to turn this form I crafted so carefully to be humanoid, into a form with four hands at least? It was always a perfect fit, but after getting used to being Beast King with six arms, and getting a taste of being a General with countless arms, suddenly it's so lacking just to have two... It feels so unusual, that I have to get those two hands busy with making spiced tea with milk, and that I won't be able to smother you with affection in the meantime... " the creature murmured, almost as if pouting, even if shyly doing so, clearly feeling more open to sharing his thoughts after their intimate time together. " It feels so strange, to find thoughts of wanting to craft myself to look less human pass so freely through my mind, without fear of... being found more unsightly for it. But my silly, enchanting boyfriend, who swoons and licks his lips with desire when he sees me tall and dark and overflowing with limbs like a primordial Beast indeed - my boyfriend is so remarkably loveable, reassuring man. I always used to... find myself most secure being most polished, as human as I can possibly be. It was a pity, that my human form was so non-passing and lacking and that I always had to reassure humans I met that even if I could not fit in and had monstrous traits, I had of good heart, but that's just how it is, I thought. But suddenly, with you, things are... not just as they once were, any more, " he gulped. " My boyfriend just so naturally, without effort, seems to make what was once so far outside of the circle of my comfort zone such a safe place to explore and feel at ease in... "

[Mirach]

Working like this with others and being a part of it made Svarik realize how much he preferred this way to the way the king's work was organized now. He kept close to Lipka and Conrad as they worked.

---

"If you feel like trying more arms, by all means, go for it," Senecio said. " But, to your first question... does it look like you're delaying pampering to tease me? No. It doesn't feel like that. It feels considerate when you put it like that, not wanting to be grabby and careful to not bring bad feelings to surface... but something about it feels off to me." He sighed in frustration. "I wanted to enjoy tonight... I didn’t expect to think about the past that much, but this... I think I need to figure it out, because objectively you are right, but it feels wrong to me, both with you and the Beast king. I do feel a bit better with the talk, but emotions and talking are the harder part in this. I would prefer having a bit of comfort in soothing the physical pain first and being clean and comfortable before getting to that part. I think my issue could be... that tending to the hurts doesn't evoke memories... because I have very little memories like that. It's the opposite, actually. The more you delay it, the more I'm getting restless because that *is* awaking memories, the ones of being used and left. If you tend to my hurts, it doesn't feel grabby. It's actually a contrast to the memory of the lack of any touch in the moment when I wanted it. I think... I think it’s not even a sexual thing. I remember the feeling from much, much earlier, with my father. If I got hurt during his training, I was expected to finish the training as if nothing happened, and then tend to it myself. If you would tend to my wounds first, it would break any resurfacing memories. I think that's why I stopped the game when I did, too. They were resurfacing, and I felt I needed a break and hoped that you could do it as yourself if the Beast King is too wary of touch. It feels so hard to ask for it, though. Much harder than asking for being hurt. I see now... I was just trying to give hints and ask lightly as if in jest, because it feels so hard to ask directly, and I was hoping I wouldn’t have to, but you can’t read my mind, and I need to explain this, because..." Senecio breathed shakily, suddely feeling like on the verge of tears again, "...it certainly doesn't feel like a fun building of anticipation to me. It hurts to ask and be ignored, and I know you were going to get to it and didn’t want to press, but now I'm hearing my father's voice saying I'm pathetic for wanting attention, and I don’t want to hear it... oh damn..." he bit his lip, struck with a sudden realization. "Am I like this because of him? Because the deep craving for his attention turned into craving the attention of being hurt? That's why it feels so satisfying? Oh hells, that’s a thought I didn’t really need today. Maybe it will feel easier to talk about it later. But you know what to do first, right?" Senecio asked hopefully, as the tears fell from his eyes quietly and he wiped them with his hand.

[VisAnastasis]

If they had nothing to do, it would have been more awkward and harder after their talk, but since they had tasks to focus on, it was easier to be together without unnecessary thoughts and tension between him and Lipka. Conrad seemed to have reorganized and multitasked greatly, to be able to stay and take part in this with them, as, despite the work, his eyes would get a little distant and he would get a little distracted from time to time - it seemed he was balancing out coming here and his kingly work, by giving instructions and orders to Simbel to instruct others from time to time.

It was arduous and long, but it was pleasant work because it was satisfying to see a huge pile of black feathers getting circled.

Eros returned in the meantime, carrying the body in his arms, as if it was sleeping - the runes were finished. Ben's more weary sweaty face brightened up with it considerably, and they took off the tunic first, baring shoulders and chest that were now full of beautiful intricate tatoos. Shoulders were left free, though, tattoos perfectly circling the muscles, so that there would be space to connect the wings. With Alpha's help, pressing down the new wings and tail against the body, Ben worked with great precision, to connect bones and muscles just right, tearing apart vampiric back skin and pasting it together with skins of the wings firmly, as if gluring it together. it was macabre and dramatic change, but even if unnatural, there was something beautiful to it. Wings and tails still had no feathers or hair by the tile he was done, but it could already be felt how it would look, as most physically taxing part of the meat and bones creation was put together, and biggest chunk of the puzzle was solved. Ben looked a little lgihthearted, definitely wearier than the rest, drying sweat from his brow, but he was clearly satisfied with results, but also quieter, as it seemed results were much better than he anticipated when he planned to initially do it on his own, before he chose to drag everyone else into it, so he seemed to grow a little more thoughtful, but he remained as meticulous. Since building the bones and meat structure was done, he went to a group colouring feathers to check their progress.

---


Tide listened to his words most carefully, without interrupting him, and as the man finished speaking, he caught one of his falling tears and used that as an excuse to caress his face.
" I would never turn down any of your sincere requests... I shall not drown you in words, but please, do not talk about my boyfriend as if he is a pathetic and untouchable creature. I happen to love him a great deal, so please, do not insult him. He's wonderful, and I yearn to touch him so bad that it hurts... And you know what? I always yearn for the time when he opens up to me, and I am happiest when he helps me understand him better. He gave me the knowledge to know how not to hurt him even if it took great courage to do it, and you know what that means? It means that he deserved a big reward, " Tide spoke softly, as he kissed Senecio's forehead anew, and anew, and caressed his face with one hand - but with the other, he started unravelling the cloak actor was wrapped in, revealing the bare skin beneath, caressing his shoulder and arm as he did so. He spoke, and he was kissing Senecio's face still, speaking between kisses, as if trying to ease him into it, even now, as if, despite the actor's request, he wanted to make sure he is setting the mood right. " Let's get you clean first now before anything, deal? It must have been uncomfortable, getting sweaty and not feeling clean... Let me give you a special watery show, one you never had yet. It isn't pampering, if I just pour water over you and call it done. Will you let me make it special and romantic? To be honest, I was originally excited to use the occasion to give Sein Miru something beautiful to see to distract him from dark memories, to make for him butterflies of water, to give him a more enchanting sight and pass it off as Beast King's magic, so he could see a new side of the Beast King. But, I yearn much more, to give my dearest boyfriend a memory crafted perfectly to what he likes, so won't you help me with it? " he purred against his neck and kissed it, as he inquired. " Sein Miru would get butterflies by default, as a dramatic reveal, but you can choose anything you want to see, so what do you want, Seine? Do you prefer butterflies too, or do you want little birds, or little bees flying around? Or do you wish to see tiny little fawns, or cats, or fairies or dragons, flying in the air? Don't you love, creating lovely little scenes with me? Please, help me once more, as you always do, " voice encouraged him. " Help me set a scene and mood my boyfriend would love. Only you can help me... "

[Mirach]

They were almost done with painting the feathers, too, and were working now on the smallest feathers.

---

Senecio sighed slowly. "I don't mind any of those, or just a simple washcloth. The form isn't as importantant as the intent and deciding is exhausting. Can you decide, please? Maybe just leave the dragons for Sein Miru, it seems thematic..."

[VisAnastasis]

Ben's ability were crucial in refining and making better quality of what they had, so, he joined in on making feathers then, from the previous pile of animal feathers they set aside - as he combined the best of what they gathered to use it as foundation to make stronger, better feathers, that had no difference in quality to the Sun Spirits before. He worked tirelessly, to make sure he keeps up with the painting, until all they were left it were dazzling painted feathers.

" It's almost done... not goes the most fun part... Placing feathers and wings together, " Ben whispered, clearing the sweat from his blow, still sounding energetic though because he was clearly excited to see the result of their labour. " I could do it on my own... But since we are aiming for the best and quicker result than if only I were working, me and Alpha figured out a cool method. Will you help me with the final step? " he grinned a little, as he pointed to the last batch of unwrapped materials. " We clean the cauldron from paint, and we put in lots of glue, and Alpha blesses the glue, and pours in his cool gold blood and sune sunshine in it, until it glows and gets super whimsical... Then, the glue should be able to imitate my binding power, and it will create a very cool effect of making feathers belong together as a whole, bound with the gravity of the sun - that way, if some feathers fall during flight, they will fly back toward Simbel, and glue back together where they once were. That way, even if an arrow strikes him, as long as feathers just fall and don't break, they will fly up and reconnect. We would be able to act it as first aid kind of thing, so that if wings get a big damaged they can self repair slightly on their own, too, " he explained their idea brightly, with anticipation. " Are you in? If you have any other ideas, we can try to adjust and add them, too. Stars and Personifications are seriously overpowered, so it helps bend probabilities, besides, since we managed to coax a lot of feathers from Sun Spirits for materials, with star-blessed glue and feathers, his wings will be sun resistant, so they at least won't burn in the sun, so that will be a plus... "

---

" If my sweet boyfriend would feel relief to not have to decide anything for a while, I shall decide for him then, until he changes his mind. My sweet boyfriend indeed is no different from a dragon... but brave, daring and charming is not all he is. He is also soft, and warm, and never hesitates even a moment to reach out to me and comfort me when I am sad. He is not just sharp and firm like dragon's claws and thorns... he is soft and tender, like rose petals. If the theme for Miru Sein is bravery, the theme for my Seine is beauty. My Seine has seen far too ugly things in his life, up to the point idea of beauty is tainted and twisted for him, so... I want him to see so many beautiful things he gets sick of it, like humans get sick if they eat too many sweets at once... " Demon spoke longingly, as he unwrapped him. His nude body was revealed, but Tide's soft cloak was soothing and comforting beneath him. Tide shifted a little aside as if to give him a better view. With order to the room, he made a big basin of water appear to the side, and from it, he commanded the water to float up in the air - and suddenly, the thousands of little droplets took shape and form, and began glowing slightly. Some became butterflies, and some became rose petals before their eyes, swirling in the air soothingly as if carried by a gentle breeze. Tide seemed to have taken great care to combine water with his ability to make glitters of light, the same from the blessing he gifted to Senecio, for now it looked as if shimmering silver butterflies and rose petals flew all around them, and some would occasionally fall on actor's body, melting into a glowing droplet.

But Tide did not just let those petals and roses wash over him and stay idle - he did not let him sit there, and wait any longer to receive affection, and it seemed that he just wished to create a magical enchanting atmosphere with it, and a feeling of something new, something Senecio never experienced before, a memory untied to dark ones of the past. But he gave him still, the touch he craved, for me made room to give him the soft silky washcloth, and he first gently cleaned sweat from his brow. For now, as if to make a memory longer and indulge in it, he kept having only two hands, and with one he lightly began cleaning the actor's face and tears gently, while with the other, he began lightly caressing and passing through the actor's hair and making more glowy watery petals fall on it, making it wet. He washed his face and hair gently first, so it would feel cleaner, and as he did so, the actor noticed the growing scent of roses enveloping him. It seemed that whatever water mix Tide chose to bring into the basin of water, it had some soothing herbs and rose scent lightly mixed in it, because more time passed and more rose petals and butterflies fell on his body and melted against Senecio's skin, stronger the soothing scene of roses was in the air, clearing away the uncomfortable scent of sweat and blood.

[Mirach]

"Self-repairing feathers? That sounds great... Conrad can warm the glue to stick better, and I can cool it on the feathers, if it helps," Svarik suggested.

---

With relief, Senecio slowly relaxed into the feeling of being cared for that he was craving so much. He watched the floating drops, enjoying their dance and not having to deal with anythin else in that moment. Then he closed his eyes as Tide washed his hair, to focus on his touch instead.

[VisAnastasis]

" Yes, normally self-repairing feathers are overkill and require a few years of meddling and tricky overblown ingredients gathering to achieve, but we have a lot of great Sun Spirit material with strong Solstice's echo to draw from, we had actual 10 Star feathers which was awesome, and having a Star itself particulate is a cheat that can bend reality and the natural order of things, I'm going to drain him for all he's worth today until he's a sad dried up raisin, " Ben proclaimed brightly, and they could hear Alpha chuckling in the background with that chaotic comment as if he found it bemusing. " I could feel blessings upon you, so you guys got blessings of cooling and warming? That's really neat, it suits you. Especially great, since Mister Scary Star can't simply warm something slightly, he either does nothing or burns things to a crisp with the sheer concentrated power of the Sun, so he's useless in warming glue unless we want glue gone from the face of the earth. Then, I will leave that part to you, warming and cooling glue will help it take root more easily. Let's just mix and make the glue first, I have to bless and enhance it to the max, but I will be pretty wobbly and really need a little break after I do it, since even with Star Blood and Star Dust, I'll have to chug some life essence down the drain here, " he waved toward the materials, as he reached for water bottler to the side, and drank deeply, as if to recharge some energy, speaking brightly through the weariness. " We are almost there guys! Let's just mix up the glue. Eros knows wing anatomy well, and he can help you begin glueing feathers to where they should be while I rest up a little. After we glue everything, we should just take the art brushes from the side, and use the remaining glue as light coating, to pass across the feathers, to make self-repair enchantment stronger and faster. So, let's mix up loads of glue! We did buy a comically large amount of it for the heck of it and for the overkill, so don't be afraid to use it all up! " he laughed playfully, as he took one big chunk of glue, and tossed it in the cauldron, swaying slightly under its weight and chuckling chaotically as he did, waving away dramatically, with a flair of a fairy tale witch planning to brew a poison.

---

He could still feel the shimmering lights floating softly above him, and hear the trickling of water butterflies and petals landing upon his occasionally - Tide clearly did not want to stop the show just because he wasn't actively watching it, as if the effort and distant light and soft sounds were a part of his pampering and show of affection, too. He carefully and gently washed his hair and face, this time, not reciting poetry, but humming a soothing tune, sounding a little thoughtful, as if using a little moment of reprieve to reflect. Senecio, whose eyes were closed and who focused on the feeling of touch, felt the soft cloth cleaning him gently, washing over him with the scene of roses. The moves weren't practical, moreover, everything about them was filled with impracticality - for creature moved slowly along his body, not just passing along it, but in idle circular motions with no rush. He did not make more hands for himself - he knew, if he did, he would finish cleaning faster, and he did not want that, indulging instead in the moment. What he was doing was cleaning only in technicality, for it was full of warmth, and felt more like an excuse to be able to lightly cuddle from the side and caress him, his hair with one hand, his body through the washcloth with the other hand. The soft sound of light purring was mixed up with the sounds of silver water butterflies.

He left cleaning deeper bites and inner thighs for the end, trying to gauge with as little intrusion as possible if there was any sharper more serious pain that more easily pushed Senecio into a more panic-like state from before, hoping to avoid it. This was the first time, due to the game's fierce resistance, that they drew a little blood, not just bruises and scraps, and it could not be helped that he was a little worried. As blood had more time to dry up, he had to soak it with a little more water to clean it, and even with closed eyes, the actor could feel almost childlike pure conflict in how careful Tide was - despite the actor reassuring him there were no dark memories of tending he could bring forth, he still seemed to be stubborn about acting equally careful and trying to make sure it hurts as little as possible. Caressing and soothing him through the washcloth, not directly with bare hands, seemed to be his way of trying to solve the dare presented to him, of how he can still stay true to his principle of not being grabby and disrespectful to his loved one in distress, while trying to give Senecio gentleness he asked for and craved.

[Mirach]

Svarik was getting a bit worried for Ben, but since they were very close to being done, he took on the task to cool the glue on the feathers while Conrad warmed it.

---

Senecio tensed again with the touch on the broken skin. It wasn’t just the bites, but also several places where he hurt himself against the sharp limbs with his struggling, and the touches of the jellyfish arms were also redened and quite painful to the touch. Despite that, Senecio seemed to enjoy the attention, but in a different way from their usual game. Still, Tide understanding his needs now and indulging his request made him gather his courage and ask for something that seemed hidden under an even deeper layer of shame. "Would you mind... if I pretended that it hurts more than it does?" he asked quietly. "I can use the safewords so that you know what’s real and what’s the pretense. I... I would just like to pretend that I'm not used to pain and dealing with it, and it hurts more... but I'm with someone I have no reason to hide it from. Well, that last part is true, but I'm so used to hiding it that pretense it the only way I can really show it."

[VisAnastasis]

They mixed in the glue in the cauldron, and Alpha ideed docily made a cut across his wrist, and paured a whole lot of not red, but his shining golden blood into it, and he sprinkled in vast amount of stardust, so much so that even he, a Star, appeared a little weary. Eros as well gave some of his blood, although he seemed to be faring better, as a personification. Ben was clearly the most tired one, though, being physically weakest and of frailest health, but because he was so enthusiastic to make insanely great wings and unyielding, no one dared to stop him. As they mixed the glue, he began chanting something on Spirit language, quietly and softly, while holding into the edge of the cauldron for support, which made the whole cauldron glow. It was hard to figure out what exactly happened, as it felt vague and seemed to require a lot of effort, but it seemed to be taking something from him. When it was done, Ben seemed rather tired, and he leaned his back tiredly against the nearby wall, drying the falling sweat from his face. " Fuck... God damned... that was hard, " he laughed brightly, sounding indeed, like the least Godly and dignified from all personifications they have met so far. He added a few more insults, while drying his face, before he waved to them, with a dramatic gesture, as if trying to not worry them and keep up the upbeat atmosphere. " Fly, my minions, fly! Now you just have to follow Eros's instructions, and dip and glue the right sized feathers where they should go along the muscles! I am going to grade your pasta craft harshly, so since I gave you an SS class pasta, you better make an SS grade craft! Make sure it's symmetrical, so there's not much work left for me to adjust! I will join you soon, I just have to... sit down a little bit... "

---

Tide paused his moves for a moment, listening quietly. Then, the actor felt a light hand, caressing his hair.
" Seine... You already always pretend that you're in more pain than you are when we are making love. What makes you reluctant to ask the same now? Moreover, if anything, this is an easier thing to do, because it does not involve keeping my strength in check to make sure I do not pass the line. So, why would I be reluctant to do it? Yet, I have a question. Please, indulge me, just for the littlest moment, before we continue. I just have to make sure we are on the same page of the book, and that I... did not get ahead of myself. Because... something feels a little off to me, " he used the same words as the actor before, and his caress upon the man's head was equally longing and warm, but there was some uncertainty and tenseness sprinkled in it, as the creature slowly and carefully inquired. " I shall continue... but would it be alright, if you dispel my doubts first? To be honest... I was so happy, earlier... because you made me... feel... so much wanted and comfortable in my skin, even if I looked monstrous. So... what is it, that makes it so hard, for me to give the same feeling to you? Can you really enjoy this if I continue right now, when you look so terribly uncomfortable, being in your skin right now? " he gulped as if he was fearful Senecio would withdraw and close off his heart with the inquiring, so he rushed to add, taking actor's hand in his own, and pressing it in encouragement quietly. " Of course, I will give it to you... I just have my doubts... how enjoyable it can really be for you when you sound so troubled asking for it. It... sounds anew, as if I am a benevolent giver, being asked to indulge you. I am worried, if... I made a mistake, always empathising with how much fun I was having. I was having fun... but I just spoke out of excitement... I did not mean to act as if having fun was all there was to it. I am worried that it created a wrong mood, where it makes you feel guilty about asking for anything you feel might not be fun to me. Of course, I will do it... but please, reassure me. Just a little reassurance would do, " he paused, as if it took his courage to ask, and he sounded rather vulnerable, as he bid. " Are we... on the same page... or were we on different pages this whole time, and I just didn't realize it? Was I... getting ahead of myself, in my joy and comfort? Was I... on page 10, while you were on page 3 all along? When you first admitted to me reluctantly, about your enjoyment of pleasure when we considered making love... You told me it is just a pastime for you, having almost nothing to do with love. That you can give it up for or adjust to what I find comfortable, in order to stay together. You even said that you do not want it to degrade just fulfilling a need, so you were willing to wait for me to initiate it first. Still, I... was under the impression that... things changed. I am worried, if... my indulging and speaking too much, of how much fun I am having with you, made it feel like it is something transactional, where I give you... pain and pleasure, in exchange for fun, " it seemed as if, for some reason, the creature was tense and troubled, and its voice was a little more hoarse as if he was having as much hardship asking for this as Senecio did, asking for pretence before. " I thought... whether it's pain or pleasure, or games or fun... that it is just a framework, just ways to put it into words. Because I did not openly put it to romantic words as such, did I give the wrong impression... that I was degrading something special we have, just to having a fun pastime, so much so that you're reluctant to ask me for something if it doesn't sound like I can get fun out of it?  I... was under the impression that us being intimate with each other was... incredibly romantic, sincere and beautiful. Was... I the only one, thinking such thoughts? "

[Mirach]

Svarik sat down next to Ben. "Are you feeling well enough to continue?" he asked. "We could take a break and have some refreshments first, if you agree. We will be taking one anyway, we're not leaving as soon as we are done. I'm not going to ask Alpha to run to the sea with us right after you drained a pint of his blood..."

---

"No," Senecio shook his head. "I mean, I'm glad that you're enjoying the game, too. I wouldn't ask you to do something that wouldn't be enjoyable to you, but it feels a bit shallow to just limit enjoyment to fun. You can enjoy many things in different ways and fun is just one of them. This feels deeper than fun. So it's not that, but I think you are right when you feel that something's off or different. It's just that... enjoying some pain with the pleasure is one thing, and we have talked about it a lot and I feel comfortable about doing it with you. But this... this is something else to me. It's not about enjoyable time together. It's not even about pleasure. We haven't talked about this before becasue I didn't even know it's there. It feels like uncovering a layer of shame to be able to enjoy some sexy things safely, and then you accidentally dig just a little more and realize that there is another, much deeper layer of shame underneath, and it's not even about sex because it goes so far back that you didn't even know what sex was when it started forming. I feel like I'm in ucharted territory, and I find it hard to find proper words for it. That deep layer of shame is still there... and it's not Guilermo whose ghost I feel breathing on my neck. It's my father. I... I feel scared."

[VisAnastasis]

Ben seemed torn up a little, as he was antsy to see results and give Simbel a pleasant surprise. But then he bit his lip, realizing Simbel wouldn't be all that pleasantly surprised if he sees him barely standing. Slowly, he nodded, and slid down the wall, sitting down.
" I... I guess... Just a little break won't hurt. I guess.. it is about time for dinner, too, " he admitted shyly, clearing his throat, adding a little more quietly and thoughtfully to Svarik's worry. " All of this... is so much quicker, than if it were just me... and so much better. If I... followed Riversong's first instinct, and did it alone... I would have only finished coating bones with muscles by midnight, and would have to spend the whole night while we travel, putting together feathers and glueing them... and we would get strong wings still that way, but we would not have wings with protection from sun, nor self-repairing wings, not wings that shimmer like stars and glow iridescently... Just really good and strong wings which is nice... but not the same, " he shook his head quietly, as he admitted, sounding a little embarrassed, as weariness was sinking in, and he realized how weary his voice was, and that his hands were shaking slightly. " But now, it's barely 9 in the evening... Yet we have so little work left. If we all work together, an hour of work, at most. I guess... I was just a little too eager, " he apologized, yawning slightly. " Seeing a result different to what it would have been, had I fallen under Riversong's first impulse, of working alone, instead of trying to dig out all possible advantages, like.. I had to while growing up in the capital Underground... I almost messed up, and went along the more stupid, harder route, just because it was a route so deeply set in stone, of that miser's memories. I just I just got... a little too excited, for catching myself before I made a mistake... I might be a little more tired... "

---

" Satisfaction... can be physical, but it can also be as strong if it's emotional. I should know. You have given me enough emotional satisfaction since we started being intimate that my heart hurts with joy. Yet.. indulge me, with just a little more reassurance, please... I... feel scared, too, " Tide whispered hoarsely, as he stopped, and gently cupped the actor's face with his hands. Soft petals and butterflies still flew around them, but they grew a little misshaped and less fluttery, under the shape of Demon's anxiety. " Being intimate... can be making love, but it is just one thing it can be. Asking me for this... it makes me happy because it rings with your sincerity. Yet, it hurts... how uncomfortable you look in your own skin, as you ask me. Like you are asking for something wrong to ask for... it is not like you asked me to actually tear off your arm and eat it. I already told you, that the most important boundary to me is that it does not cause permanent damage to you, so why do you have to feel so guilty, asking for something so easily with such guilt guilt-stricken voice? " The creature leaned closer, leaning his forehead against the actor's as he whispered, as if confessing a more vulnerable, deeper thing, too. " I feel scared... that I am getting ahead of myself. It would be painful, if I was the only one, that was overflowing with romantic thoughts, and thought we had grown closer. It... made me... feel much more open and... hopeful, about wherever we are going. Whether we take... making love out of it or not... is what we give each other, not incredibly romantic and wholesome? " he asked, with a clear and pure vulnerable hope. " I thought... we were having an incredibly romantic evening. Beyond the lust, I have deeper temptations of hunger and desire to eat souls, but I can indulge in those desires safely, without fearing it would harm anyone. You enjoy a little rougher handling when making love, and with me, you can indulge in those desires safely, without harming yourself. You like surrendering control, I like being in control of how fast things are going. In a middle ground, where our desires meet, in the perfect middle ground, where my love for games overlaps with your love for acting... Is it not wonderful, how perfectly it fits? When you look at me, you always look right through, and see me alone, whether I am wearing the skin of a man, a Beast, or a primordial Evil. It is all the same to you, and you respond with equal excitement and anticipation, no matter if I am Tide, Beast King, or General with you...Do you not understand, just how much you have given me, for your face to twist with shame when making such an innocent, lovely request back to me?  " Tide's lip was trembling slightly, his voice hoarse, as if we were talking about the most romantic thing his heart could muster. " Do we not have something beautiful beyond measure? Is two people matching each other's yearnings like this not wonderful? It's like someone giving you the most delicious pie in the world, but acting as if asking for a tiny little slice is selfish... I... was under the impression that we were gorging on the pie freely, without worrying about what is proper or of gaining weight, or how silly we look, all smeared up with jam. It was, so freeing, to eat as we liked, without worrying how messy we were, just sharing the joy together. It was... " his voice was hoarse, and his whole face was embarrassed and red. " It was an incredibly romantic night, to me. I am afraid... it would hurt, if I was the only one with head in the happy clouds, romanticizing the harsh reality  - reality where I was the only one feeling this way, and left you to keep dealing with shame all alone on your own. I am afraid, of being on page 10, if you are stuck all on your own, struggling to read the illegible paragraph on page 3... I am afraid to find out I left you to deal with something hard all on your own, without realizing I should retrace my steps, and turn a few pages back. Are you struggling, Seine? While I burn with joy, are you burning with shame? My Seine... " he nudged his forehead against the actor's, heart bared and beating faster, voice cracking, and face reddened and a little fearful. " My Seine, who makes my heart burn... it is so hard, to hear shame in your voice... Experience and freedom and closeness you have gifted me... are so much deeper and intimate than fun.... "

[Mirach]

"A couple of us can go to the kitchen and bring us dinner," Svarik suggested. "You just rest here for a while, okay?" He stood up and went to the mansion, asking Simbel to tell the cooks to prepare something for them.

---

"I feel like we were on the same page of the romantic book," Senecio murmured, "but then I found myself in a different book alogether. It's not a romantic one. The shame is not the one that we already dealt with, you don't have to retrace your steps there. This one is new. Or rather, old. Very old and very deep. It only resurfaced with having to ask you for care, and it brough me back to my father, and not daring to do that with him. This is not romance anymore. It's a child's shame, and it's ingrained deeply. I'm not sure if we can deal with it now. I don't even know if it's just ours to deal with, or if it would be better to ask Hans for help. This really isn't the romantic book..."

[VisAnastasis]

There were always some foods being prepared in the kitchen, so cooks were not unprepared for their request, and it didn't take long until a lot of food and tasty treats were prepared for them, and both group were present, and the cooks and some of Falcon's met were glad to help out to bring the food and utensils to room where others were, so they can all eat and restore some of lost energy, especially Beings that spent a lot of their energy, making something so ridiculously overpowered in such a short time. Ben definitely looked the worst, his cheeks a little redeneed too, as if he were running a slight fever, but this clearly took a lot out of Alpha and Eros, for they looked quite weary, too, looking tired for the first time since Svarik met them.

---

" I see... " Tide's shaky voice got a little more steady, and he appeared thoughtful for a moment while caressing man's hair. He did not get away, and it was the briefest moment of thought, before creature decided, and spoke up. " If you changed your mind, we can always invite Hans and talk through this with him. But since it was a spur of the moment act of courage and since it was so sincere... may I make a sincere counteroffer to you in turn? " he smiled a little, tensely so, but he kept speaking, in a gentle whisper,  as if returning actor's trust in his own, and offering something that made him insecure to light. " To be honest... I also discovered something new I enjoyed today. When you first told me you enjoyed being spoken roughly to, back then when we were on the palace roof, it was a new thought and felt quite strained to me - I thought, why would I want to insult someone I love? But today, when I tried, it was just an experiment... but I found myself, enjoying it greatly, in the heat of the moment. I was thinking about it for a while... and I feel it comes from the same reason while I enjoy our rough games so much. It feels... freeying, to for a moment indulge and live, in a world where there are no consequences. I always had to walk the world, as if it were made of glass... always deescalate, use softest, gentlest words, kindest gestures, lightest touches... And even then, with all that effort, I could not keep a relationship somehow. Somehow, they always slipped through my fingers, and I felt trashy and not good enough, even when I was pouring my whole heart, tino being the gentlest version of myself. Whenver I would break something by accident or because I was too excited in the moment, there were consequences, and scolding, and disappointment. But... when I am with you, I don't feel like I have to be most prim and proper, gentlest version of myself. It feels... so incredibly vindicating and raw, to be able to live in a world where I say most awful things to you, and treat you roughly, yet still, see your trust in me only deepen... It feels so freeing that it makes me want to cry sometimes... so, if I may ask... could you indulge me, just a little more? " he gathered courage, and with flushed cheeks, purely, with a hopeful voice, he bid him, caressing his face and carefully watching his response, as he slowly rephrased Senecio's previous request. " To be honest... You were much louder today, compared to how you usually are, and it made it very enjoyable to me. I really like, when you make more sounds... It feels very rewarding, thinking how restrained, prim and poised version of you you had to be with others, but how more free you are getting with time. It is... incredibly rewarding, to hear you make sounds of pain, yet still lean closer against me, with so much trust. It is a taste of a very safe, consequence-free world... so won't you give more of it to me? It would feel like if you made more sounds, and acted like you were in much more pain than you really are, while I cleaned the rest of your wounds and rubbed them with balm. Make sounds of pain, distress, complain, cry or scream, if you like - do whatever you find would feel good to do, as someone in great pain, but still, let your hand hold mine, or at least closer to me, and seek comfort from me, while you suffer, under my touch," he returned Senecio's words back to him with great hope burning in his eyes, as he struggled his best to put those feeling to words. " It would feel so very rewarding, to see you seek my comfort even if you're showing signs of great pain and distress... so if I did a really good job today... don't I deserve a nice reward? It would be a really tasty treat if you gave this to me... Being able to live in a world where my touch is so clearly wanted, even if it is causing pain, is a desire I would not know I had, had I not met you... "

[Mirach]

Svarik made sure they all have enough of their preferred meals to regain some strength before he sat down between Conrad and Lipka to eat something too.

---

Senecio nodded slowly. "Yes... that feels right. I don’t really feel like talking about it that deeply. Let's just do that."

[VisAnastasis]

Conrad was slightly stiff and more reserved being surrounded by so many people while having to keep their relationship a secret, but still, his gaze could not help but soften as Svarik sat down between them. Melody also joined them, and he seemed relieved as if he felt it was easier to try to hide things, by making it seem like it's just four friends, choosing to eat a little closer together. Still, after a couple of hours of working and trying not to be obvious, it seemed it was not easy to hide affection as Svarik choose to sit with them, from all the countless people dining with them. He tried to not speak much, to appear more neutral, but that was only more suspicious, after he would always act very closely and familiarly with Svarik. Most of the people seemed busy with eating after hours of rewarding but hard work, so luckily not many seemed to dwell on it, but those that knew Conrad better seemed to feel something was amiss, but they seemed to choose not to bring it up, as they had other pressing matters. Still, cunning Mole has clearly sniffed out something, and Owl seemed to find it interesting - and even Ben, who looked extremely sleepy and wobbly, could not help but gaze suspiciously at unusually quiet Conrad every now and then, since he knew him for longer, too, surely finding his behaviour after a long time asleep a little strange, as both seeing Conrad so quiet, but not brooding, and content instead seemed to have been the last thing any of them thought they'd see.

---

" Thank you... Don't worry... everything will be okay... we'll take care of all that hurts, and then, if you feel like it, we can call Hans, and have a little sleepover, too, okay? But do not worry about it all yet. That is a problem for future Senecio, the present Senecio only has to enjoy himself. Just like the future Tide will have a whole lot of cuddles ready either way... this current Tide has more pressing issues. The first thing he must do... is apologise. Sorry, to have kept you waiting, " Demon smiled a little more freely, more tenderly, as he was reassured. " I am slow and silly, and get easily flustered and afraid that I am doing something wrong, and am prone to worrying... I know I drive Hans mad, all the time. Thank you... for not being driven mad, by my fears, while dealing with so much worse ones of your own. Thank you for your patience... and... please let me make it up to you. If I deserved a little reward for doing well, you deserve a very, very big reward, for doing so, so well, with an anxious bundle of worries like me... Let me reward you properly, for always doing right by me, my sweet Simay, my only Seine, my precious Senecio Moonthorn... " he bid hoarsely, with a growing burn of affection in his eyes, mixed with thankfulness and softness that was sprinkled anew with a growing scent of hunger.

This time, Tide did not just continue right away. His form shimmered and blurred slightly, as he altered it, and appeared, almost the same as he usually was, but taller this time, his tunic and shoulders structured a little differently - for this time, he had four arms. He seemed a little timid and embarrassed, for his most tame form appearing so different from the norm, but there was no fear or shade of hesitance in his face, as he leaned forth, and suddenly embraced the actor longingly as if he were just waiting for that moment, and as if he truly needed it, with a fluttering heart, being greedy for closeness after himself also spilling a lot of new embarrassing things out loud. He purred, not with bright joy this time, but with a shy yearning to comfort him, and he held his head and covered it in light gentle kisses with no desire or pressure for more with it, only pure tender gentleness while using the upper pair of his arms to hold his head and lean closely against him, as snuggling against him seemed to ease his leftover anxieties. With it, Senecio realized, why this time creature chose to make more arms - so it could hold and caress him with one pair, while continuing to tend to the wounds with another, free pair, so he would not have to choose, between either hugging him or tending to him, but be able to do both. He held him close, wrapped arms around his shoulders, raising him slightly so he could hide the actor's head in his chest and snuggle with him, while one of the other free pairs of hands took the washcloth anew, and slowly began cleaning the remaining, worse wounds.

[Mirach]

Svarik also felt a bit awkward, too conscious about how he is acting to be able to act naturally, but trying anyway.

---

At first, Senecio did not react much, needing some time to calm down and allow himself to react. It was just a slow relaxing into the embrace at first, before he allowed himself to make a little sound with the touch of one of the bites. He tensed again, but with the continued embrace and reassurance, it felt like some resistance broke and he dug his fingers into Tide's shoulders, trembling as he cried out with the next touch of the wound.

[VisAnastasis]

From the people present, besides Lipa and Melody who naturally knew, only Eros and Alpha had knowledge of their bond as well. Even if both were weary, knowing each other for a while, it was enough to exchange glances to understand each other, and they decided to draw more attention to themselves. While Alpha was still eating with two pairs of arms idly taking bites, with other pairs, he brought out all tunics Simbel had so far and began talking and discussing with others out loud as they ate about them, as it seemed that for now, they decided on making Simbel's new godly attire later, and first wanted to fix all currently owned tunics and clothes to accommodate wings and tail. Eros likewise, took the time to join him in, suggesting his own thoughts, since he was more experienced of wing-centred cuts, having wings himself.
Ben likewise, while not being told anything about Conrad and Svarik directly, could not help but be more suspicious, as knew both Conrad and Svarik little more, having watched them all the time while Svarik was ill, and it just wasn't normal for them to not be more upbeat and familiar with each other. But even more so, he knew best from all, how crazy tired Eros and Alpha must have been, so, putting two and two together, since he ate a lot and rested a little bit, he brought a chair to himself, to sit next to ASlpha and Eros near the centre of the room, and discuss the clothes too. He meddled and since he did not have the strength to stand and carry or bring things, he made sure to order around for others to bring him either expensive clothing material they bought for clothes so he could hand them to Alpha, or ask others to refill his glass of water, as he had to drink a lot to get a little more steady, and he could not help spill water here and there, since his hands were shaking a little after great efforts he put in. Still, he was very good at acting, and to others, he just seemed a little sleep-deprived and sarcastic and a little bossy as he usually was, and more importantly, they could not help but be distracted when thinking through mending for Simbel's current clothes, so in that way, the brake and meantime thankfully passed without anyone catching the chance to ask directly about Conrad's and Svarik's unusual behavior.

---

Tide tensed a little as nails unexpectedly dug into his skin, as Beings bodies were very sensitive when their guard was down - but it seemed that feelings of safety when together they always build so carefully could not be shaken easily, for Demon did not jolt away. Instead, he embraced him more closely, leaning trustfully into his touch, running fingers through his hair and lulling him lightly, purring a little more loudly, as if pouring all his heart, and all gestures of support he could find, into trying to help him feel safe. Neither the light flickering of butterflies and petals in his peripheral vision stop shimmering around them, neither the embrace loosened, nor did the hand caressing hand and lulling him stop.
" Easy... easy... It's going to be okay... I know it will hurt a lot for a while... it can't be helped... " a gentle voice brushed softly against his ear, as, since Senecio said he could only get those feelings out with pretence, it seemed Tide wished to soothe him and feed the scenario with more details as if hoping to help him get those feelings out by giving him more justifications to allow himself to act in great distress and pain. " It's going to hurt a lot, for a little while, so please, tell me if I need to slow down... We can't help it, that you must be in pain until we clean the wounds and rub the balm, but do not worry... I will be here, all the way through, and all the time after. You're going to be okay.... " he promised him, as his other hand continued cleaning the painful wounds.

[Mirach]

Svarik must have realized they're being too awkward when even Alpha and Eros tried to draw attention away from them. He got up and took his flute to play for them, to help all three Beings gather their strength.

---

Senecio's grip loosened slowly, and he nodded with a little whimper. The gentleness was making him cry more than the pain.

[VisAnastasis]

Alpha could not help but laugh, even though he looked very weary and sleep-deprived - it seemed even like this, clearly drained up of much more than a pint of blood, that he was in a little better mood than this morning, as if it helped his darker depressed thoughts a little, that they dragged him in so earnestly into their group project, even if he knew that they mostly did it for his usefulness. Even so, he seemed glad, with Svarik's efforts for them.
" Come here, you adorable bundle of joy, " He invited him before guiding him with gesture to come closer, and using on of his arms to push a chair for him, leading him to sit down. " You can't speak while you play, but that's okay... Just nod when you like something. Let's pick the type of thread for fixing up the white tunic's back first... " he said, as he gently patted Svarik's head, showing him more closely their progress so far. In his love language, making sure other person feels included in work and conversation done instead of left out seemed to be his own way of showing thankfulness, for he made sure meadow king feels like he's a part of making decisions, subtly doing so with others present and commenting too, making sure to draw a little bit of everyone's feedback into mending of tunics, so that everyone takes a little part, even though he was the one doing the sewing. He was working slower than usual, but seemed little less stiff and more at ease with Svarik's soft, and it was quite impressive to watch him sew different tunics with six hands at once casually like it's nothing, putting on a little show to cheer everyone up too after many hours of hard work.

---

Since they slept together many times by now, and Senecio always reassured him that he'd use safe words if needed and always guided him, the trust Tide had in Senecio's honesty seemed unspeakable, even if it was vailed in pretence and roles. He could relax and trust it, because Senecio always made sure to go through scenarios carefully, to reassure him he was going through something he wanted. That's how he could be more rough and forceful with him before as General, and likewise, how he could relax and treat him gently, even while he was crying out and whimpering under his touch. He gently and without rush cleaned the worse wounds, and Senecio could feel that this was not just something he was doing to indulge him or reward him - he could feel lingers of Tide's genuine concern, and genuine yearning, as he enjoyed all closeness with him, whether it was sleeping together, or nestling closely with him and caressing his body. Likewise, it was clear he was not lying, about enjoying the unusual scenario only to ease Senecio's consequence - he clearly found it soothing and his heart beat faster with sprinkles of relief and joy, whenever the actor would show distress, but still leaned closer against him, seeking for support. It took a little while to get used to the unusual scenario and situation, but the joy for the actor relying on his so clearly would be evident, even if man could not perceive the feeling directly, in occasional slightly louder purr or softer more caressing gesture, not one needed to clean the wound better, but one given because Tide could not help caressing him here and there through the washcloth.

But after a while, as wounds were cleaned and the actor found himself smelling strongly on roses from the scent cleaning water had, Tide put washcloth away, and opened the large jar of fairy balm with his free hand. He kept embracing him still, while he started slowly rubbing down the balm across his wounds, starting with small brushes along his neck and more worsly bitten shoulders. He was using the balm and rubbing them down generously, not trying to save it up, until pain of current injury would be clearly numbed down before he progressed further downwards, not releasing the embrace at any point.

[Mirach]

Svarik didn’t really have strong opinions about clothes, so he paid more attention to the song he was playing, because his music could cure weariness at least a bit.

---

Senecio at some point stopped pretending and just held Tide closely, letting the quiet sobs fade as the feeling of being accepted and cherished reaching more deeply than any pain could.

[VisAnastasis]

Indeed, it seemed his gentle soothing music was very healthy, because of its nature and his character, easy to take in even for Beings not used to it. Alpha was clearly very powerful, so there was barely any need for him to be tended to, because his recovery was fast. He seemed pleasantly surprised with Svarik's clear focus, and it did not take music for his dimmed eyes and more stiff lethargic moves to regain a bit more brightness. The same went for Eros, who, even if he still looked tired from as much blood loss and energy poured to create wings, still was Personification, and seemed very resilient, so with food and music, he seemed better. Ben though, because of his long illness and fragile health, still looked quite bad and weary, even when gorged up on food and drinking a lot. If it was music offered from anyone else, he'd refuse it, because his soul was too sensitive and fragile to accept it. But Svarik's music, just as he told him before, was an exception, for fragile and vulnerable souls like his. He was tense at first, but as he slowly relaxed, it seemed music was soothing him. With time, he looked a little less haggard, and his little shallow uneven and more raspy breathing began to even out.

---

No words or compliments could reassure Tide, as much as feeling Senecio lean closely against him. With the feeling, the purring intended to soothe him turned more and more into one expressing joy and relaxation. Since the pain was being soothed with the balm and he knew he won't cause him too much pain with movement now, he nestled more freely within the embrace, indeed, seeming much happier and fulfilled now that he had four arms, and could keep embracing and tending to him in the same time.
Still, as he rubbed down the balm on most of the injuries, he seemed a little hesitant as he tended to bite on the actor's thighs, as in a recent couple of times they slept together, they would usually end up tending the wounds with balm with more intimacy, but right now, it was hard for him to figure out what would make Senecio happy since he went through so many emotions.

" You know... it is pleasant, that you trust him so much, but your boyfriend is a very slow, silly creature sometimes... I know making decisions is exhausting... but won't you help him once more? " The actor heard a voice them anew, shyly and gently brushed against his ear, as Tide rubbed his back in soothing circles. " If he makes a wrong assumption and gets more grabby, he could hurt your feelings and make you feel like the responses of your body are more valuable than your heart, but if he tries to avoid intimacy, he may hurt your feelings and make you feel untouchable and unwanted. There's too much to lose if he gets the answer wrong out of trying to be considerate in either direction... So won't you help me, my dearest? " voice spoke, with a timid, but pure and gentle trust, as he entrusted the decision to him, and with the same clear and pure heart, it seemed he did his best to present the choice in a way that made it clear he does not wish to make it sound like he favours one over the other, but present both as equally appealing options. " You had been through so much turmoil tonight... would a pleasant little distraction before bed soothe you? Or do you rather wish the placing of balm to be over sooner, so we can sooner lie down, and start cuddling and snuggling, and perhaps invite Hans for a sleepover? I can touch you as a lover or tend to you as a respecting healer would. Can you help me choose what my loveable boyfriend would want more? " he bid with bathed timid breath, as he kissed his forehead shyly. " There are no wrong answers, no wrong answers at all... What my sweet Senecio Moothorn wants, is what will happen... "

[Mirach]

Seeing it having an effect, Svarik continued playing as long as they rested, seeing it as a much more useful contribution to the project than cooling glue.

---

Senecio paused for a moment, as if needing to reassure himself that both options are indeed equal. "Yes... to sleepover with Hans," he said finally. "I'm... really not in the romantic book right now."

[VisAnastasis]

Ben seemed a little more quiet compared to before - it seemed like he leaned into the song and found relief in it, but also, felt a little regretful, for taking up his energy and time, so he grew a little quieter, silently taking Svarik's wordless offer, not denying it, knowing that if he protests it, both him and Simbel later will just worry more for him - he was clearly humbled a little, because he knew he always worried them about his health before, and he tried not to create new worries for them. Eros was more used to warmth and he accepted Svarik's help gratefully, while Alpha seemed bemused by receiving someone's assistance, but he did not reject it, rather it more felt like he was warmed up and pleased, that someone felt he needed help, and that it helped his mood as much as being included in something joyful like this. He let Svarik play while he worked, fixing up tunics with more lively moves, as his drained-up soul recovered more easily with Svarik's gentle song, but when the meadow king seemed to be getting tired and more weary and spending too much strength, he lightly put hand on his shoulder.
" Little ball of Sunshine... I can see why Solstice favours you so much... What a sweet bundle of joy you are, indeed, " he whispered softly to him, and although he had no month, the orbs of his weary eyes were soft and curled, like crescent moons - he was clearly smiling. " Still, you've shone of plenty... So how about a little break, now? You must preserve your strength, so you can rejoice with us after we finish the wings. How about a deal? You put that flute away for a little while and take this nice cup of milk spiced with starlight? " he made a whimsical gesture, as if adding glitter to a mug of milk he took from the side, until the milk was sparkling, as if full of light, and he offered it to Svarik with one hand, and patted his hair lightly, as if taking care of a cute, adorable child, winking softly and conspiratorially. " You would not refuse an offer from a Star, now, would you, sweet King Sun de Sun? "

---

A slight hesitance and concern from Tide's feelings immediately melted away with a straightforward and confident answer.
" Don't worry... It's not like I consume romance books and refuse to touch anything else. Whatever genre you are in... We will be there right along with you... " Tide promised shyly. Indeed, there was no disappointment or dismay in his reply, his feelings ringing with simple bright honesty. Just like he offered, he kept his promise, and he did not try to initiate anything more, he was finishing the treatment as a healer would, adding balm around his intimate places with simple chaste movements, in a layer without rubbing it down or trying to awake any desire with it, just trying to do minimum needed respectfully, to make sure he is not in too much pain tonight, as their game was quite rough. " You know... To be honest, while playing was fun, our talk and worry cooled me down, too. If you yearned for a bit of happy distraction, I would have felt equally happy to give it, but I... don't really think I am in the romance genre, even if I do think servicing people you love is a romantic trope. You... can have romantic trope, even if you are not in the romance genre, but I do not find myself in a romantic book, either. I just long to be, in whatever book you are in, that's all, " he kept speaking shyly while embracing him as if hoping to give him something nice to focus on during this last part of treatment so he could relax until they called Hans in a moment. " Since you offer me your honesty, I wish to offer you mine... To be honest... Your and mine baggage does not match. Your rings with feeling worthless.... mine with feeling inadequate. Your honesty reassures me... but I still feel... not good enough. You always try your best to understand me... But I always end up panicking and worrying... I feel like I... could have handled your anxiety better if only I was smarter and more collected... if only I had better words... " he confided to the actor while he was finishing with tending, despite it seemed hard, it seemed the closeness and embrace encouraged him to be open. " Right now... I feel very much so, that you deserve better than me. Can you help me? " he gently nudged his face against the actor's, as he bid. " Can you think about it, and... think up of some way I can make it up to you? Would you perhaps... like that nice hot drink I promised you before? I can make nice hot drinks for the three of us as you guys get ready to sleep... or how about a lullaby? We could have Hans tell us stories, but I also know how to play the lute quite well, I could sing you two some nice lullaby songs until you fall asleep... Or... if my words or actions still trouble you or confuse you... I... would be ready to answer, if you have questions you want answers to. I am worried, " he caressed and played with his hair shyly, as he whispered. " I am worried if it may seem like... I am putting a wall between us, with you always offering pieces of yourself and your past to me, and me giving you little in return. It is not... like I do it on purpose. It's just... all new to me. People usually have... endless questions to ask, all the time, so talks usually... just happen on their own. It's... so very rarely, that my bonds have so much... well... bonding...  " he sounded a little embarrassed, and his voice sounded rather timid and fragile as he added. "Usually, during a big chunk of it, especially at the start... It's mostly a lot of talking and reassurances... and everyone's anxieties when they date me have different flavours, so... I am usually one to follow conversations given to me, not lead them...  I.. don't think you really have a clear idea at all, how many more romance tropes you have shared with me, regardless of whatever genre we were in at any time... nor how much it really means to me... "